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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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ImGolfn

ImGolfn 77

Posted
Posted
On 11/16/2019 at 2:25 AM, Burt said:

People who put ketchup on a well-marbled ribeye...even if that person is my 7 yr old daughter.

Or they could be my step daughter, step son and wife who will all drown a prime grade ribeye in ranch dressing.  Steak night now is i get prime grade, they get whatever family pack is on sale at HEB.  Assuming its open.

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52-80

52-80 19046

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Posted

We already talked about inflated job titles , meaningless job titles, and bullshit-millenial job titles ... but how about just complete vague flowery job descriptions?

 

"i empower the connection between technology and value-realization for fast moving teams in transformative spaces by grounded means"

 

motherfucker, you either have a (1) job title or (1) 10-word description that perfectly describes your actual work responsibilities.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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Posted
39 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

We already talked about inflated job titles , meaningless job titles, and bullshit-millenial job titles ... but how about just complete vague flowery job descriptions?

 

"i empower the connection between technology and value-realization for fast moving teams in transformative spaces by grounded means"

 

motherfucker, you either have a (1) job title or (1) 10-word description that perfectly describes your actual work responsibilities.

I had the title of "Technical Specialist" while working for an aerospace company. I did not have that on my business cards. "Engineering". Fuck your completely vague shit, we can keep it vague and still at least give a clue.

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12638

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44 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

I had the title of "Technical Specialist" while working for an aerospace company. I did not have that on my business cards. "Engineering". Fuck your completely vague shit, we can keep it vague and still at least give a clue.

"Personal Gain Enthusiast" is my current favorite.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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Posted
4 minutes ago, HiggyBaby said:

When people say “potato, potato” in American and the Queen’s English. They say it the same dammit. Try tomato, tomato instead. That one actually works. And references the actual song it came from.

Actually, the song says both:

 

You say eether and I say eyether,
You say neether and I say nyther;
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther,
Let's call the whole thing off!
You like potato and I like potahto,
You like tomato and I like tomahto;
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto!
Let's call the whole thing off!

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nnm

nnm 35884

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Posted

I have an old dinosaur printer in my home office that weighs about 120 lbs.  After not using it for 8+ years, I decide it's time to get the thing out of there.  So I put it in the back seat of my car and take it to work, where they're having an electronics recycling drive.  Unfortunately, I'm a day late, and the box is gone.  So I leave it in my car, and go home.  On the way, I stop at Terry Hershey Park for my evening jog along Buffalo Bayou.  Go for my jog, and come back and find my passenger window shattered.  Knuckleheads couldn't even wrangle the stupid printer out of the car, and left it there.  All they took was my pants, I guess hoping that my wallet was in the pants.  It wasn't.  It was in the center console, along with my phone.  Which they didn't get.  Or my radar detector which had slid out from under the seat.  I guess the knuckleheads freaked when the alarm went off when they broke the window, grabbed my pants from the seat, and bolted.  Now I'm out $400 for the new window, and all the disruption that comes from having to arrange the stupid window replacement.

Related story:  Because my car was out of commission, I took my 18-yo son's Chevy Colorado to Austin yesterday.  I intentionally got him a manual transmission because every man should know how to drive one.  When I pulled up to the Courtyard downtown Austin at 11 pm on Wednesday night, I tried to self-park.  Of course, they don't allow that, and you have to valet park (another trivial thing that makes me surly).  So I asked the guy if he knew how to drive a stick-shift vehicle.  Of course he didn't.  I asked him if ANY of the valet guys could drive a stick.  Of course they couldn't.  But I still couldn't park my own truck in the garage.  Instead, he had me pull it up on the side, in the primo parking area.  Then, when I came to get the truck the next day, new valet guy was obviously disappointed because I didn't tip him when he gave me my keys.  Tip for what?  For holding on to my keys for 7 hours while I slept?

TL;DR:  Knucklehead broke my car window, costing me $400.  Valet driver couldn't drive my son's stick-shift truck, and was pissed when I didn't tip him.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

^
that really sucks.  While living in San Francisco, I had $250 window damage so they could steal a $100 radar detector.

you know what’ll make you feel better though?  Drive out to a field with a couple of coworkers (preferably the ones who organized the electronics recycling deal) blare some snoop dog, and take turns beating the shit out of that printer with a baseball bat.  

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nnm

nnm 35884

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

^
that really sucks.  While living in San Francisco, I had $250 window damage so they could steal a $100 radar detector.

you know what’ll make you feel better though?  Drive out to a field with a couple of coworkers (preferably the ones who organized the electronics recycling deal) blare some snoop dog, and take turns beating the shit out of that printer with a baseball bat.  

giphy.gif

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21780

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, nnm said:

I have an old dinosaur printer in my home office that weighs about 120 lbs.  After not using it for 8+ years, I decide it's time to get the thing out of there.  So I put it in the back seat of my car and take it to work, where they're having an electronics recycling drive.  Unfortunately, I'm a day late, and the box is gone.  So I leave it in my car, and go home.  On the way, I stop at Terry Hershey Park for my evening jog along Buffalo Bayou.  Go for my jog, and come back and find my passenger window shattered.  Knuckleheads couldn't even wrangle the stupid printer out of the car, and left it there.  All they took was my pants, I guess hoping that my wallet was in the pants.  It wasn't.  It was in the center console, along with my phone.  Which they didn't get.  Or my radar detector which had slid out from under the seat.  I guess the knuckleheads freaked when the alarm went off when they broke the window, grabbed my pants from the seat, and bolted.  Now I'm out $400 for the new window, and all the disruption that comes from having to arrange the stupid window replacement.

Related story:  Because my car was out of commission, I took my 18-yo son's Chevy Colorado to Austin yesterday.  I intentionally got him a manual transmission because every man should know how to drive one.  When I pulled up to the Courtyard downtown Austin at 11 pm on Wednesday night, I tried to self-park.  Of course, they don't allow that, and you have to valet park (another trivial thing that makes me surly).  So I asked the guy if he knew how to drive a stick-shift vehicle.  Of course he didn't.  I asked him if ANY of the valet guys could drive a stick.  Of course they couldn't.  But I still couldn't park my own truck in the garage.  Instead, he had me pull it up on the side, in the primo parking area.  Then, when I came to get the truck the next day, new valet guy was obviously disappointed because I didn't tip him when he gave me my keys.  Tip for what?  For holding on to my keys for 7 hours while I slept?

TL;DR:  Knucklehead broke my car window, costing me $400.  Valet driver couldn't drive my son's stick-shift truck, and was pissed when I didn't tip him.  

That's a fucking long post just to tell us that when you jog you don't wear any pants

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former alkie

former alkie 72

Posted
Posted

SIAP.......

News is inundating us with stories of charities handing out free turkey's and whatnot to the poor's.  I find it funny that 3/4's of the cars awaiting handouts are newer model SUV's, trucks, etc...     Those takers should have to supply a notarized budget worksheet.

Equally irritating is that I keep hearing the phrase "turkey and all the trimmings,"........that word "trimmings" just irks the shit out of me - just take the 20 seconds to say what else is included in the big-ass plastic container.

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elfenix

elfenix 34161

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I have an old dinosaur printer in my home office that weighs about 120 lbs.  After not using it for 8+ years, I decide it's time to get the thing out of there.  So I put it in the back seat of my car and take it to work, where they're having an electronics recycling drive.  Unfortunately, I'm a day late, and the box is gone.  So I leave it in my car, and go home.  On the way, I stop at Terry Hershey Park for my evening jog along Buffalo Bayou.  Go for my jog, and come back and find my passenger window shattered.  Knuckleheads couldn't even wrangle the stupid printer out of the car, and left it there.  All they took was my pants, I guess hoping that my wallet was in the pants.  It wasn't.  It was in the center console, along with my phone.  Which they didn't get.  Or my radar detector which had slid out from under the seat.  I guess the knuckleheads freaked when the alarm went off when they broke the window, grabbed my pants from the seat, and bolted.  Now I'm out $400 for the new window, and all the disruption that comes from having to arrange the stupid window replacement.

Related story:  Because my car was out of commission, I took my 18-yo son's Chevy Colorado to Austin yesterday.  I intentionally got him a manual transmission because every man should know how to drive one.  When I pulled up to the Courtyard downtown Austin at 11 pm on Wednesday night, I tried to self-park.  Of course, they don't allow that, and you have to valet park (another trivial thing that makes me surly).  So I asked the guy if he knew how to drive a stick-shift vehicle.  Of course he didn't.  I asked him if ANY of the valet guys could drive a stick.  Of course they couldn't.  But I still couldn't park my own truck in the garage.  Instead, he had me pull it up on the side, in the primo parking area.  Then, when I came to get the truck the next day, new valet guy was obviously disappointed because I didn't tip him when he gave me my keys.  Tip for what?  For holding on to my keys for 7 hours while I slept?

TL;DR:  Knucklehead broke my car window, costing me $400.  Valet driver couldn't drive my son's stick-shift truck, and was pissed when I didn't tip him.  

There's a break in there about every 3 minutes.

 

Anyway, Atlas Auto Glass on Fairview b/t Montrose and Taft does nice work.

 

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12638

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Posted

Overheard recent order: garlic cheese-bread, but without the garlic, because "garlic is bad for you."

 Literally the only honest-to-goodness healthy ingredient in that order, and it's the one getting called out.

Lucy made a mistake back there on the Serengeti. Humanity never should have come down from the trees.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8791

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Posted
2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Overheard recent order: garlic cheese-bread, but without the garlic, because "garlic is bad for you."

 Literally the only honest-to-goodness healthy ingredient in that order, and it's the one getting called out.

Lucy made a mistake back there on the Serengeti. Humanity never should have come down from the trees.

First time ive ever heard of anybody asking to "hold the garlic" 

 

what an asshole. Garlic is one of this worlds finest gems 

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HRSchenker

HRSchenker 2248

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Posted

I went to a city council meeting and some of the speakers go on and on and on about things that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. One issue was the raising of rates to our water bill and a neighbor of mine spent 2 minutes telling us why she moved here. Nobody gives a shit! Tell us your issue with the water! Ask the question that leads to the smoking gun! Show us the numbers that prove the city is ripping us off! Stop giving us your life story about how you didn't want to move here but your husband demanded it and he grew up with a pet raccoon named Charlie who saved him from a home invader. Nobody cares!

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