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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12,639

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So, we're renovating an old farm house on about 5 acres of prime Piedmont forest farmland. Met the neighbors from across the street, and that was just fine -- a few too many used essential oil bottles lying on the back seat of their Prius, but they run a 250+ acre organic farm, so I know they're hard workers, and, more to the point, they made it clear they are "live and let live" type folk who we "probably won't hear from much, but if you ever need anything, email us and we'll get back to you in a day or two." Perfect neighbors.

The 15 acre L-shaped property to our east-and-south, however, is undeveloped pine forest, and we met the guy who leases it for hunting and fishing, and he's not so desirable as a neighbor.

See, they have been working on cutting an access road in the leg of the 'L' to get to the long part of their property, which runs behind us. So, when this guy saw us working in the yard (cleaning up the mess from the hoarders who used to own it), he spies an opportunity to slack off his self-appointed task, and walks over and asks if he can use our driveway to access his deer hunting territory.

"No, that's where my fruit orchard is going. It used to be a dirt road, but now it's going to be peaches and berries."

This is the point at which a good neighbor would say, "Oh, well, thanks anyway, I figured it doesn't hurt to ask," or some such. But no, he proceeds to come up with a dozen different ways to ask the same damned question, wasting my time, and filling the air with his gin-soaked stupidity for another fifteen minutes of time-wasting badgering. Hell, if he actually owned the land, instead of just being the lessee, I might have gone halfsies with him on a project to clear his road whilst and at the same time as putting up a fence on that side of the property; I could make good use of the timber he's clearing, and he's having to pay for a new survey anyway, since he's putting in the damned road, but now I won't even give him a goddamned cup of sugar if he asks. There is absolutely nothing I hate more than somebody wasting my time while I'm trying to get something done.

If I'm sitting on the porch, drone away all you want; I'll happily tune you out. But if I'm hauling junk to the dumpster, either pitch in, or get the fuck off my lawn.

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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ernest_t_bass

ernest_t_bass 1,196

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People using memes who have no idea wtf the meme is about.  Examples:

- My JH students constantly saying "OK Boomer."  I've learned them a few times on what it means.  

- Have a buddy that sent me a Mandalorian yoda child meme.  I asked him, "Are you watching that show?  It's awesome!"  ... "No, I don't even know what channel it's on"

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retsevlys

retsevlys 408

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8 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

People using memes who have no idea wtf the meme is about.  Examples:

- My JH students constantly saying "OK Boomer."  I've learned them a few times on what it means.  

- Have a buddy that sent me a Mandalorian yoda child meme.  I asked him, "Are you watching that show?  It's awesome!"  ... "No, I don't even know what channel it's on"

Ok, Boomer.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9,083

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12 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

People using memes who have no idea wtf the meme is about.  Examples:

- My JH students constantly saying "OK Boomer."  I've learned them a few times on what it means.  

- Have a buddy that sent me a Mandalorian yoda child meme.  I asked him, "Are you watching that show?  It's awesome!"  ... "No, I don't even know what channel it's on"

Memes are Fonzy on skis usually.

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SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2,622

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1 hour ago, ernest_t_bass said:

People using memes who have no idea wtf the meme is about.  Examples:

- My JH students constantly saying "OK Boomer."  I've learned them a few times on what it means.  

- Have a buddy that sent me a Mandalorian yoda child meme.  I asked him, "Are you watching that show?  It's awesome!"  ... "No, I don't even know what channel it's on"

What do you think that it means?

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nnm

nnm 36,688

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11 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

People using memes who have no idea wtf the meme is about.  Examples:

- My JH students constantly saying "OK Boomer."  I've learned them a few times on what it means.  

- Have a buddy that sent me a Mandalorian yoda child meme.  I asked him, "Are you watching that show?  It's awesome!"  ... "No, I don't even know what channel it's on"

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Iceman

Iceman 2,726

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1 minute ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Chase won't take cash deposits without a photo ID. God forbid I try to sneak another $65 onto a $3000 deposit. 

Maybe the bloodstains concerned them?

That's anti money laundering attempts by the feds.  Try cashing a black or purple chip at any casino nowadays.  They will call the pit and verify that it(they) were paid out to you.

 

Yeah, it's a pain in the ass.  I hear ya.  Saw an elderly dude at the bank lose his shit last week because he was trying to make a $10k cash deposit and he didn't have his ID.  "You motherfuckers won't even take my money.  This is dumb as hell."  It was a very admirable blue streak...

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted
5 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Chase won't take cash deposits without a photo ID. God forbid I try to sneak another $65 onto a $3000 deposit. 

Maybe the bloodstains concerned them?

That’s more of a federal KYC thing really.  It’s my attention to the big picture at my bank that has me up for promotion to assistant Vice President. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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It's technically illegal in most municipalities to refill parking meters for cars other than your own.  My roommate in college couldn't pay off my late fee at Blockbuster video without my membership card for some strange reason.  It really shouldn't shock us, with all of our anti-money laundering measures that a large bank won't anonymously accept $10,000 in cash at the end of the fiscal year.  

You wouldn't believe the EB-5 precautions taken before somebody can move money from a foreign currency to buy U.S. real estate.  

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EE2B

EE2B 1,565

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Chase also won’t let you deposit cash into someone else’s account. My ex banks at chase and she used to get in trouble and call begging me to put a few hundred in cash into her account. I was glad when Chase implemented that policy..

They probably got tired of you bringing all them ones up there.
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immortal13

immortal13 4,059

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On 12/23/2019 at 2:16 PM, 'stache said:

Posted a refrigerator on Facebook Marketplace for $25. First words in the description are "Compressor needs repair . . ." At least four messages to me "Does it work?" Do this many people seriously go through life without even a bare minimum effort?

So it doesn't work?

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12,639

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Fucking people who are too goddamned stupid to live. I swear to fucking God. I cannot wait to finish renovating our new house, because I never want to live in an apartment complex again. Upstairs neighbor out on the balcony bitching and moaning at the top of her lungs about furniture assembly that won't work because "The holes are too goddamned big." Thirty minutes of this drama, and I finally have enough, and say, "Can I take a look?"

Yeah, the connection is via cam-lock, and she wasn't putting the cam fitting in the slot, so there was nothing to screw into.

And this person can operate an automobile. God save us all.

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Iceman

Iceman 2,726

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Return your shopping carts you asshole fats.

I don't necessarily like their prices after having lived in a hyper-competitive Houston market; but United in West Texas still walks your cart out to your vehicle and takes them back in the store.  There are no cart corrals in the parking lot, nor carts.

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Jack Straw

Jack Straw 2,954

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people who start turning left onto the street I am on and waiting at the stop sign at, well before they reach the intersection (presumably to beat the oncoming car instead of just waiting an extra 30 seconds to let it pass), thereby cutting inches in front of my front bumper instead of coming to the intersection and taking a ~90 degree left turn onto the street.  fuck you. 

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clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9,000

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5 hours ago, Iceman said:

I don't necessarily like their prices after having lived in a hyper-competitive Houston market; but United in West Texas still walks your cart out to your vehicle and takes them back in the store.  There are no cart corrals in the parking lot, nor carts.

Market Street (same ownership, IIRC) in Colleyville does that.  Not sure why the cashier always asks if I need help to the car if I can't actually decline it.  Cartboy always insists they must accompany the cart.  So I just quit buying more stuff there than I can carry out.  That'll show 'em!

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52-80

52-80 19,271

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The looping towel roll dispenser in public bathroom.  I feel like it's cycling the same 5ft roll of towel and I'm just wiping my hands on somebody's urine.

 

Fucking calculator app on Android that automatically rotates orientation, even though Autorotate is disabled in the OS

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,823

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15 hours ago, 52-80 said:

The looping towel roll dispenser in public bathroom.  I feel like it's cycling the same 5ft roll of towel and I'm just wiping my hands on somebody's urine.

 

Fucking calculator app on Android that automatically rotates orientation, even though Autorotate is disabled in the OS

i havent seen one of those in years. They still make them?

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