Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

1 minute ago, 52-80 said:

You trust people to wash their hands properly?  Often it's a splash of water (no soap) for 2 seconds and they walk away

I've never seen that. Either they don't wash at all or they do, with soap. Also, I haven't seen one of those old style reusable towel rolls in years either. 

I did find this, though:

http://www.dberkhoudtarchitect.com/2012/03/new-research-proves-cloth-roll-towel-systems-crt-more-hygienic-than-air-dryers/

[Iceman 2620]

bathroom germophobes crack me up.

Build up some tolerance, ya fuckin nancies.

[Incredulity 11431]

Tom Steyer’s turquoise belt.  No CR.  

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, Iceman said:

bathroom germophobes crack me up.

Build up some tolerance, ya fuckin nancies.

I'm all for building up an immunity, it's just that if you don't have to touch other people's feces with 5%  more effort, isn't that worth it?  Going in/out of a bathroom and limiting your exposure to other people's snot and shit, takes an extra 5% more effort.  Kinda like wiping down the remote control in an hotel room after you check-in.  It takes 10 seconds and severely limits your contact with other men's semen.  I mean, whatever you're into...I won't judge.  

Yeah, touching the door-handle or the urinal handle isn't gonna kill you.  But you can also just use your elbow or a paper towel, takes an extra 3 seconds and severely cuts the chances of picking up some taint germs, but again whatever you're into.  

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

Those new Airblade urinals get piss all over the place. 

 

[Guest Lobo]

1 minute ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Those new Airblade urinals get piss all over the place. 

 

Yeah, but it does feel like a hooker near-death gently whispering her last regrets onto your dick as the life leaves her tepid throat.  

[Incredulity 11431]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, but it does feel like a hooker near-death gently whispering her last regrets onto your dick as the life leaves her tepid throat.  

Thatescalatedquickly.gif

[elfenix 34161]

i've observed an epidemic of people leaving their cars running while they go inside to do whatever.  i hope someone steals it. 

[nnm 35881]

4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Kinda like wiping down the remote control in an hotel room after you check-in.  It takes 10 seconds and severely limits your contact with other men's semen.    

Never, EVER touch the hotel remote with your bare hands. You can’t sanitize it enough. It’s got semen ground into every nook and cranny on the device. If it’s left on the bed, or the TV has the welcome screen on, then use a washcloth or a plastic glass wrapper to turn the TV off, place the remote completely out of the way, and never touch it again. Don’t even look at it. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2721]

You need to seek help.

[nnm 35881]

44 minutes ago, nnm said:

Never, EVER touch the hotel remote with your bare hands. You can’t sanitize it enough. It’s got semen ground into every nook and cranny on the device. If it’s left on the bed, or the TV has the welcome screen on, then use a washcloth or a plastic glass wrapper to turn the TV off, place the remote completely out of the way, and never touch it again. Don’t even look at it. 

Also a good reason not to touch another guy’s cell phone or iPad ...

[closetohumping 17342]

7 hours ago, markstanco said:

On 1/3/2020 at 8:47 PM, closetohumping said:

not as annoying as doofus not passing on the left.

That would be because you are in the left lane.

I’m like the opposite of a doofus but thanks bro

 

 

 

now. Back on topic.  How’d that fat bald dad from just the ten of us have so many hot daughters?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

Some of you people aren’t going to last very long when the zombie apocalypse comes

[Guest Lobo]

1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Some of you people aren’t going to last very long when the zombie apocalypse comes

Zombies don't jizz, I'll be just fine.  Sounds like T'Boo will kinda miss the taboo rush of licking the remote when he checks into a businessman traveler hotel.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

Women who think their pictures are sexy because they’re sticking out their tongue.  Unless they’re sticking it in another woman’s mouth or coochie it does not.

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

I’m like the opposite of a doofus but thanks bro

Your doofus writing makes it unclear whether you are upset about other people being in the left lane without passing (if this is what you tried to say, I agree with you), or if you're upset that people sometimes pass you on the right (if this upsets you, it is because you are a bad driver with no lane discipline and you should drive into the nearest ocean at your earliest convenience.) 

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

When the dog learns it can open some doors by body slamming them.

[elfenix 34161]

4 minutes ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

When the dog learns it can open some doors by body slamming them.

 

[Jersey Man10 3500]

Women who think their pictures are sexy because they’re sticking out their tongue.  Unless they’re sticking it in another woman’s mouth or coochie it does not.

I hate the dog face filter bitches use.

[SilasCoade 2620]

waking up from an awesome dream knowing that is the best you will feel the rest of the day.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Just now, Llogg said:

waking up from an awesome dream knowing that is the best you will feel the rest of the day.

Change the sheets

[VolenteHawk 495]

On 1/5/2020 at 4:21 PM, nnm said:

Never, EVER touch the hotel remote with your bare hands. You can’t sanitize it enough. It’s got semen ground into every nook and cranny on the device. If it’s left on the bed, or the TV has the welcome screen on, then use a washcloth or a plastic glass wrapper to turn the TV off, place the remote completely out of the way, and never touch it again. Don’t even look at it. 

I’ve beat off in a lot of hotel rooms, but I’ve never came on the remote’s tits.

Am I doing it wrong?

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, Hands always get a bit of stuff on em even with tissue or wash cloth.  And then you still handle the remote.  Not as bad anymore because you can get better, free porn on your phone or laptop which is why I also wipe down the work station area In a hotel room.  
statistically speaking, one of you surly travelers who doesn’t spend two minutes wiping down tactical parts of the room, has either video-chatted with your family or eaten room service right on top of my semen.  

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Hands free jerkoff devices are needed!

[Shoxthemonkey 1973]

^^^^ I have an assortment of pnuematic strokers and thrusters on the shelf. We can probably hang it from your shoulders like a bass drum or make a belt of some sort. The compressed air thing will be cumbersome or we could design some sort of servo unit with a battery pack. Be a lot more expensive. Figure out which way you want to go and I'll get a quote worked up.

Edited January 7, 2020 by Shoxthemonkey
clarity

[After irth 1242]

1 hour ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

^^^^ I have an assortment of pnuematic strokers and thrusters on the shelf. We can probably hang it from your shoulders like a bass drum or make a belt of some sort. The compressed air thing will be cumbersome or we could design some sort of servo unit with a battery pack. Be a lot more expensive. Figure out which way you want to go and I'll get a quote worked up.

Username...checking out nicely. 

[Wally Fairway 5504]

This thread came onto my twitter feed - it reminds me of random shit that I read on Surly

 

[wd40 1976]

have we covered filling out new patient paperwork, yet?  

[StruggleBus 3922]

On 1/2/2020 at 6:25 PM, Lobo said:

That’s more of a federal KYC thing really.  It’s my attention to the big picture at my bank that has me up for promotion to assistant Vice President. 

Speaking of Vice Presidents at banks, what's with the title inflation in the financial service space? Do banks really need 10,000 Vice Presidents? You know, people that don't hold any actual decision making authority, and are essentially low-mid level managers. Does it just make them feel special?

[markstanco 12464]

30 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

This thread came onto my twitter feed - it reminds me of random shit that I read on Surly

 

Would probably be a pretty fascinating thread on here. 

[deadshank 24646]

15 minutes ago, wd40 said:

have we covered filling out new patient paperwork, yet?  

Please make sure to complete both the front AND back of each page.

[Guest Lobo]

34 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

Speaking of Vice Presidents at banks, what's with the title inflation in the financial service space? Do banks really need 10,000 Vice Presidents? You know, people that don't hold any actual decision making authority, and are essentially low-mid level managers. Does it just make them feel special?

Well, as someone who is up for a promotion to Associate Vice President at my bank...I can tell you that most G&A at a bank is not needed.  Community Banks/Credit Unions in particular, are about to be exposed.  They're spending an insane amount on fintech trying to keep up with big/innovative banks.  But they also continue to spend a lot on real estate and staff.  Pretty soon, consumers are going to get wise to the fact that about 25% of the interest on their loan payments goes to pay for this cumbersome G&A bullshit.  Every single branch has a half dozen people just hoping that you'll walk in today to ask about opening an IRA or HELOC or inquire about exciting new loan programs on those new Plymouths coming in this Autumn.  It's a complete sham.  Look at where your bank is, an absolute 3000 square foot hunk of prime real estate.  Used to be a necessity so you'd see them, now it's just a waste of your money.  

[HenryJames 65818]

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

5 hours ago, After irth said:

Username...checking out nicely. 

It's Shoxthemonkey, not Spanxthemonkey. 

[Underdog 28382]

7 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

^^^^ I have an assortment of pnuematic strokers and thrusters on the shelf. We can probably hang it from your shoulders like a bass drum or make a belt of some sort. The compressed air thing will be cumbersome or we could design some sort of servo unit with a battery pack. Be a lot more expensive. Figure out which way you want to go and I'll get a quote worked up.

[nnm 35881]

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It's Shoxthemonkey, not Spanxthemonkey. 

Who are you to judge his stimulation methods?

[nnm 35881]

5 hours ago, Lobo said:

Well, as someone who is up for a promotion to Associate Vice President at my bank...I can tell you that most G&A at a bank is not needed.  Community Banks/Credit Unions in particular, are about to be exposed.  They're spending an insane amount on fintech trying to keep up with big/innovative banks.  But they also continue to spend a lot on real estate and staff.  Pretty soon, consumers are going to get wise to the fact that about 25% of the interest on their loan payments goes to pay for this cumbersome G&A bullshit.  Every single branch has a half dozen people just hoping that you'll walk in today to ask about opening an IRA or HELOC or inquire about exciting new loan programs on those new Plymouths coming in this Autumn.  It's a complete sham.  Look at where your bank is, an absolute 3000 square foot hunk of prime real estate.  Used to be a necessity so you'd see them, now it's just a waste of your money.  

USAA banking is awesome. And I have never even seen a branch, let alone walked into one. There are only four of them. Period. https://www.usaa.com/inet/pages/usaa_financial_center

[Guest Lobo]

Probably part of the reason their rates are so damn good.  I give it one more round of shitty banks bringing our economy to the brink before people realize, "Oh, that building is why they charge me so much goddamn money." 

Look at how many closed drive-thru banks there are just in downtown Austin.  The real estate and the waste of space employees are screaming to be shredded. 

[nnm 35881]

23 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

On banks- all I really need is an atm that doesn't charge me a fee for cash withdrawal for the occasional titter trip.

Never get an ATM withdrawal fee with USAA. Anywhere in the world (and I travel internationally for work A LOT). They reimburse for any ATM fee. If you didn’t serve, get in through one of your parents or grandparents that did. It’s worth it for the banking alone, but the rates, responsiveness and service in their insurance is second to none. And given the international nature of their member base, they are great on international banking issues. 

[CooterBrown 17847]

The fucking Weather Channel data pushed to the iphone. Maybe it’s me but if the current low is 20+ degrees colder than your low for the day, maybe your app should reflect that. Also they predict 70 but the highest temp on the hour by hour forecast is 67. It’s wrong like this every fucking day. WTF.

 

 

 

 

[52-80 19046]

17 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

Speaking of Vice Presidents at banks, what's with the title inflation in the financial service space? Do banks really need 10,000 Vice Presidents? You know, people that don't hold any actual decision making authority, and are essentially low-mid level managers. Does it just make them feel special?

Is there a point in having Directors who dont manage? or Managers who dont direct? 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

44 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

The fucking Weather Channel data pushed to the iphone. Maybe it’s me but if the current low is 20+ degrees colder than your low for the day, maybe your app should reflect that. Also they predict 70 but the highest temp on the hour by hour forecast is 67. It’s wrong like this every fucking day. WTF.

 

 

Additional item that makes me surly-- "Feels like" temps. Fuck that. Just tell me what the fuck the temp is and I'll determine what it "feels like".

[Judge Roybeanbag 11771]

14 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Fuck that place.  Last time I had to go in, I decided fuck it, I'm doing this right.  Took most of the day off work took a nice drive through the hill country to the DPS in Marble Falls, was out of there in under an hour and had lunch at Bluebonnet Cafe.  Took a little bit of the sting out. 

[CooterBrown 17847]

Is there a point in having Directors who dont manage? or Managers who dont direct? 

I’m a Senior Manager with no staff. TBH, it’s an ideal situation.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

25 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I’m a Senior Manager with no staff. TBH, it’s an ideal situation.

 

Been there. Was a Global Director with no direct reports. The most fucked up org chart you've ever seen. 

[markstanco 12464]

My shower is about 5 steps from my closet, which is where I hang my towel up. About once a month (this morning) I forget to bring the towel to the edge of the shower.  Its cold AF getting to the closet for the towel and I make the bathroom floor all wet since I am wet (insert joke). 

[Iceman 2620]

16 hours ago, HenryJames said:

I went in October and before the lady at the info desk could tell me where that form was, the other lady was paging my number to come on back for service.

Fuck yes.  Under 15 minutes and no appointment.

Unbelievably fast, simply because I had planned on it taking an hour or 2.  Of course it was Potter County, too; but the little places have smaller staffs.  Sometimes they can be a beating too.

Edited January 8, 2020 by Iceman

[Storm the Field 5267]

People that drive like they're actively trying to miss an upcoming green light. As in, progressively decelerating the closer they get to the intersection.

[HenryJames 65818]

3 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Fuck that place.  Last time I had to go in, I decided fuck it, I'm doing this right.  Took most of the day off work took a nice drive through the hill country to the DPS in Marble Falls, was out of there in under an hour and had lunch at Bluebonnet Cafe.  Took a little bit of the sting out. 

 

1 hour ago, Iceman said:

I went in October and before the lady at the info desk could tell me where that form was, the other lady was paging my number to come on back for service.

Fuck yes.  Under 15 minutes and no appointment.

Unbelievably fast, simply because I had planned on it taking an hour or 2.  Of course it was Potter County, too; but the little places have smaller staffs.  Sometimes they can be a beating too.

An hour and 45 minutes, but at least I was smart enough to check to see what forms and supporting docs I needed. Sat next to a Vietnam vet who had to go home and get the right documents and then get back in line. Also said he had most of his ass blown off by a phosphorous grenade. I think this most recent experience was worse.

[nnm 35881]

3 hours ago, HenryJames said:

 

An hour and 45 minutes, but at least I was smart enough to check to see what forms and supporting docs I needed. Sat next to a Vietnam vet who had to go home and get the right documents and then get back in line. Also said he had most of his ass blown off by a phosphorous grenade. I think this most recent experience was worse.

Great.  A bureaucratic mess pissing off an elderly vet with potential PTSD.  Sounds like an ideal situation.

Kind of like this 93-year old dude who flipped out on Jan. 2 in Vegas.  His apartment maintenance staff didn't fix his apartment to his liking, so he took a pistol over to the apartment office and shot the maintenance worker in the gut and then the leg.   No one killed, thank God.  

https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2020/01/08/93-year-old-gunman-vegas-water-damage-shoots-worker/