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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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Are you a hands free state? Minny became one a few months ago and ive caught myself using the phone less while driving which i like, a lot. Hands free here means it's basically use your speaker phone or bluetooth, keep hands on wheel/ eyes on road. Cant hold phone up to ear.

 

I still catch texters texting at stoplights but whatever

 

 

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I know the Nigerian prince emails bullshit is fake, but this one is from the Federal Reserve.
I'm gonna be rich bitches - $10.5 million to my ATM card; second beers are on me at the next Surly happy hour

longcat spoilered

Quote
FEDERAL RESERVE BANK OF NEW YORK
ADDRESS: 33 LIBERTY STREET,
NEW YORK, N.Y 10038.
 
ATTN: FUND BENEFICIARY,
 
                  Re: ATM Card payment notification.
 
This is to officially inform you that the bank Federal Reserve Board
New York Branch  has concluded in the meeting today over your long
overdue contract payment and agreed that your payment worth
US$10.500,000.00 will be released to you through ATM Master Card which
will be delivered to you directly to your home address.
 
However, you are further advised to know that all arrangement has been
completed long ago for the immediate dispatch to your residency, you
have to reply back to us as soon as possible with the below DATA’ to
enable the Ups shipping department proceed with the immediate dispatch
tomorrow been Friday dated 24th of January 2020 on your behalf.
 
Finally, this is very urgent and important the bank are waiting to
hear from you right away today, Bear in mind that the tracking number
of your parcel will be given to you immediately the Processing charge
and Stamp fee which will not cost you much is received to avoid any
immediate STOP ORDER from the United Nation office.
 
Note That Because Of Impostors, We Hereby Issued You Our Code Of
Conduct, Which Is (ATM-2020) So You Have To Indicate This Code When
replying back to us By Using It As Your Subject. Get back to us with
this information needed,
 
Full Names:
Your Address:
Country:
Direct Number:
Your Age And Occupation:
A scan copy of your ID card or passport:
 
Reply back to us accordingly; The bank Wait For Your Expedite Response.
 
Yours in Service,
Mr. Jerome H. Powell
Chairman Federal Reserve Board New York

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1 hour ago, Braff Zacklin said:

Jalapeno poppers made with cream cheese instead of the correct cheddar.

Cream cheese has its uses, but when deep fried, it turns into tasteless, superheated foam. Cheddar has enough bite to punch through the strong pepper flavor, and its stretchy, gooey texture complements the exterior crunch.

Fuck you and everything you hold dear. 

Cordially, of course. 

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I like black pepper on just about anything not labeled as a dessert. Most sane people would call it too much pepper. Restaurant shakers usually don’t have holes big enough to let the pepper flow freely, so I have to take the top off like I'm a Neanderthal.

Same goes for crushed red pepper shakers. And yes, I know what all about pepper mills. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
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6 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I like black pepper on just about anything not labeled as a dessert. Most sane people would call it too much pepper. Restaurant shakers usually don’t have holes big enough to let the pepper flow freely, so I have to take the top off like I'm a Neanderthal.

I too love black pepper and apply it generously. What always amazes me about those classic pepper shakers in restaurants, where you can't get any pepper to come out because the holes are so small, is that when you unscrew the top, pepper falls all over the place like it's been filled with way more pepper than it can hold. How do they do that? And why?

Ketchup bottles I get. Keep those filled. But leave a little air in the pepper shaker so you can, you know, actually shake it out. Pack it in too tightly and it renders the delivery vehicle inoperative. 

I love that many/most restaurants have switched to pepper mills. Nothing beats fresh ground black pepper.

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3 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I too love black pepper and apply it generously. What always amazes me about those classic pepper shakers in restaurants, where you can't get any pepper to come out because the holes are so small, is that when you unscrew the top, pepper falls all over the place like it's been filled with way more pepper than it can hold. How do they do that? And why?

Ketchup bottles I get. Keep those filled. But leave a little air in the pepper shaker so you can, you know, actually shake it out. Pack it in too tightly and it renders the delivery vehicle inoperative. 

I love that many/most restaurants have switched to pepper mills. Nothing beats fresh ground black pepper.

I was going to add that part, too. It happened to me this morning. I’ve learned to open them over what I want seasoned instead of over my lap. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
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10 minutes ago, elfenix said:

It must be bring your dog to home depot day

That drives me fucking crazy. I can't take my 4-year old there anymore on the weekends because every other shithead in town thinks nobody on Earth has ever seen a Labrador before so this is our chance to be educated.  

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18 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Ketchup bottles I get. Keep those filled. But leave a little air in the pepper shaker so you can, you know, actually shake it out. Pack it in too tightly and it renders the delivery vehicle inoperative. 

Their main motivation is to fill the shakers as infrequently as possible, and it shows.

 

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I like black pepper on just about anything not labeled as a dessert. Most sane people would call it too much pepper. Restaurant shakers usually don’t have holes big enough to let the pepper flow freely, so I have to take the top off like I'm a Neanderthal.
Same goes for crushed red pepper shakers. And yes, I know what all about pepper mills. 
I do this. And for some reason especially on Cesar and wedge salads.
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grinders for salt and pepper in any restaurant at the table.  While I am not remotely a germophobe, grabbing and twisting something with both hands that is virtually guaranteed to be filthy while eating in a public place just makes me want to go wash my hands again afterwords.  At least with traditional shakers, you can use a couple fingers from your left hand and it's done.  With the grinders, you're basically giving the devices a big ole two handed hug and rubbing them vigorously.  No fucking thank you.

Edited by Iceman
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1 hour ago, Iceman said:

grinders for salt and pepper in any restaurant at the table.  While I am not remotely a germophobe, grabbing and twisting something with both hands that is virtually guaranteed to be filthy while eating in a public place just makes me want to go wash my hands again afterwords.  At least with traditional shakers, you can use a couple fingers from your left hand and it's done.  With the grinders, you're basically giving the devices a big ole two handed hug and rubbing them vigorously.  No fucking thank you.

How do you feel about doorknobs in public places?

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Just now, nnm said:

How do you feel about doorknobs in public places?

The doorknob I have to turn to run my plate/ fork?

Like I said, I'm no germophobe, but the salt/pepper grinders just gross me out. the fact that it is involved with the eating process is a gamechanger.  Out in public, I really don't GAF about door handles and whatnot.  I'm also pretty conscientious about not touching my eyes/ mouth without having washed my hands.

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3 hours ago, Iceman said:

grinders for salt and pepper in any restaurant at the table.  While I am not remotely a germophobe, grabbing and twisting something with both hands that is virtually guaranteed to be filthy while eating in a public place just makes me want to go wash my hands again afterwords.  At least with traditional shakers, you can use a couple fingers from your left hand and it's done.  With the grinders, you're basically giving the devices a big ole two handed hug and rubbing them vigorously.  No fucking thank you.

That is why we carry Wet Ones wherever we go. Especially after using the gas pump handle to fill the car.

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On 1/27/2020 at 12:33 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

If you're gonna put unsecured trash in the back of your pickup and drive down my road, I'm gonna start throwing roofing nails out in the middle of it from time to time. Because fuck you and your styrofoam trash all over my lawn. Jesus.

You're going to throw roofing nails on your own road? That'll show em!

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