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Required Reading for any Longhorn ×

Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Yeah, you were gonna threaten a guy with your weapon because he was listening to his phone too loud because one of his ears doesn't work?  

Plus, you're at a Safelife repair waiting room.  If it was a doctor's office or even a barber shop, I'd say he was outta line.  But it's a Safe-Lite, the Jiffy Lube of windshield repair.

Kinda reminds me of this exchange two students had in my class awhile back.  This young man is giving his portion of the group presentation and this female students asks him a question about how he arrived at one of this cash-flow number or something.  It was a math/explain your philosophy type of bundled question.  She asked it quickly and politely.  Well he goes off on this 2-minute answer that's very monotone and matter-of-fact and even teeters towards a "how could you not understand this?" vibe...There's no other way but this was as the logical conclusion."  Almost sounded like Spock.  So the female is pissy as hell, huffs and says he's insulting to her for "Mansplaining" this answer in such a rude tone and looks around to her team and mumbles something about "am I the only one who is tired of all this Mansplaining bullshit?" (it was my first encounter with the word in public).  The guy simply says, "I have Asperger's.  This is the only way I know how answer questions."  Her face was like she just found out the loud phone guy was missing an ear.  /csb

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21112

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2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

awesome. you should snap a pic of said dipshit

I'm pretty sure that MNLonghorn *is* the guy, and he knew that Cabo was posting about him here, and he indirectly made Cabo dunk on himself by telling him to photograph his missing ear. 

Well played! 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So mansplaining is using tone when answering stupid questions from females using simple words they can understand

Pretty much.  It's an upper division finance course at one of the top business schools in the country---so yeah, you're expected to know the nuances of not only your presentation, but also what to look for/listen for in the presentations of your classmates (whom your feedback form for, is taken into account in their overall project grade...which helps determine which of the class startups goes into the real life incubator at UT where tens of thousands of dollars in angel/seed money are on the line).  Her question(s) was nice enough, she wasn't trying to show him up but he just answered factually, probably got a little elementary for her but I actually liked that because in real life pitches, there's always some LP in the room who needs more elementary clarification.  But because "tone" and shit, she takes total offense and calls it Mansplaining.  

Now, if you were so say, "Listen here Sweet-Tits, there's a lot of math behind our pro-forma that I don't want to confuse you with...so let me skip ahead and just show you the bottom line and you can use that extra time to get us some sandwiches."  Then yes, that's mansplaining.  But one colleague talking to another one, if you don't like the way he's answering you, show him up by asking a tougher follow up question or challenge one of the assumptions, etc.  Don't just throw your arms up, declare sexual discrimination, and whine to your professor about a guy who probably had to spend 3x as long preparing for this presentation so as not to come across like Mark Zuckerberg on Nyquil.  

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nnm

nnm 36735

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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

"Listen here Sweet-Tits, there's a lot of math behind our pro-forma that I don't want to confuse you with...so let me skip ahead and just show you the bottom line and you can use that extra time to get us some sandwiches."   

Poetry.  Brilliant. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. 

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RPM

RPM 26374

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Posted

I've mentioned before that I share an office with another guy. He called in on my day off and they stuck some random new guy in his place. I come in today look around and my fucking insulated coffee cup is missing. It's not a big office and I figure it out pretty quick. New guy happens to be working today so I call him and ask WTF is my coffee cup? He replied "That was yours? I thought it was mine and I lost it." I asked him if his name was written on the bottom. "I didn't look." Well take a peek and tell me what it says. "RPM. Hmm, I'll get it to you tomorrow." No, you'll get off your ass and bring it to me right fucking now and keep your hands off my shit in my office.

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pops

pops 7007

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Posted
38 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Shouldn’t matter since ketchup is used for French fries and not for burgers or hot dogs etc

Another trivial thing that makes me surly.... When someone gives a fuck what condiments another puts on their food. 

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RPM

RPM 26374

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Calm down, Milton.  

Fuck that. It's a $20 coffee mug.

50 minutes ago, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

I'll one up this. Pump bulk condiment dispensers. You get an ocean of ketchup/mustard instead of a squirt. You try to do it slow and the damned thing won't pump.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28822

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1 hour ago, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

I can't say I've encountered that with Heinz ketchup bottles but I don't use ketchup much and when I do I'm just squirting out a big puddle in which to dip French fries.

I just checked my bottle of Heinz ketchup in the fridge. Nope, it doesn't have that issue. It has a small nozzle and a narrow stream that's easy to control. (It's also very nearly full and probably hasn't been used more than once. I'm not sure how old it is but I'm confident it's less than a year old.)

I have encountered that with mustard bottles, though, both Heinz and French's. I had a bottle of Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard with a wide nozzle and four little quarter-circle plastic flaps that forced you to squeeze the bottle really hard just to get the contents past that barrier. So I know what you're talking about. 

Also, the nozzle on a squeeze bottle of Zatarain's Creole Mustard is too wide and the contents flow too freely. That's the opposite effect where you have to be careful not to squeeze hard at all. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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46 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I'm still processing the no ketchup on Burgers post...  Hot dogs ?  No fucking way.  Burgers ?  Hell yeah.

That's what the tomato is for.  You probably put ketchup on your pizza, too.  

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DCA_HORN

DCA_HORN 725

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Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 
I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 
Give me this all day looking over Hunt's. Went to a diner today where that's all they had. It literally just flowed out by turning the bottle over.
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nnm

nnm 36735

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9 hours ago, DCA_HORN said:
13 hours ago, pops said:
Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 
I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

Give me this all day looking over Hunt's. Went to a diner today where that's all they had. It literally just flowed out by turning the bottle over.

You should’ve had the diner page Mike Hunt so you could complain. 

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

Whataburger spicy ketchup >>>>> tomato.

Don't know about the Whatabugrer spicy ketchup, but you can usually count on ketchup being the same flavor, and actually having flavor. Ya can't count on a fucking tomato outside of about 3 moths a year.

Ketchup in a burger is as American as ketchup on meatloaf, and ice cream on apple pie.

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Iceman

Iceman 2728

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On 2/22/2020 at 11:06 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So mansplaining is using tone when answering stupid questions from females using simple words they can understand

Yeah...I get in trouble for this at home all the time.

Driving home on a roadtrip yesterday, and I had driven 2/3 of way home after sleeping only 3 hours night before.  I had told her in the next toen we needed to turn left before the railroad tracks and that the signs sucked, but TURN BEFORE THE TRACKS.  I’m reading on my Ipad and we go over the tracks. ‘ You missed your turn.”

”Why didn’t you tell me?”

’I did’

 

Lolz. Silence for the next 30min... enjoyable and LOLz at the same time.

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Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4105

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14 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I can't say I've encountered that with Heinz ketchup bottles but I don't use ketchup much and when I do I'm just squirting out a big puddle in which to dip French fries.

I just checked my bottle of Heinz ketchup in the fridge. Nope, it doesn't have that issue. It has a small nozzle and a narrow stream that's easy to control. (It's also very nearly full and probably hasn't been used more than once. I'm not sure how old it is but I'm confident it's less than a year old.)

I have encountered that with mustard bottles, though, both Heinz and French's. I had a bottle of Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard with a wide nozzle and four little quarter-circle plastic flaps that forced you to squeeze the bottle really hard just to get the contents past that barrier. So I know what you're talking about. 

Also, the nozzle on a squeeze bottle of Zatarain's Creole Mustard is too wide and the contents flow too freely. That's the opposite effect where you have to be careful not to squeeze hard at all. 

Fail !

Ketchup has no business in the fridge....EVER !

 

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Js1

Js1 85651

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I can't say I've encountered that with Heinz ketchup bottles but I don't use ketchup much and when I do I'm just squirting out a big puddle in which to dip French fries.

I just checked my bottle of Heinz ketchup in the fridge. Nope, it doesn't have that issue. It has a small nozzle and a narrow stream that's easy to control. (It's also very nearly full and probably hasn't been used more than once. I'm not sure how old it is but I'm confident it's less than a year old.)

I have encountered that with mustard bottles, though, both Heinz and French's. I had a bottle of Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard with a wide nozzle and four little quarter-circle plastic flaps that forced you to squeeze the bottle really hard just to get the contents past that barrier. So I know what you're talking about. 

Also, the nozzle on a squeeze bottle of Zatarain's Creole Mustard is too wide and the contents flow too freely. That's the opposite effect where you have to be careful not to squeeze hard at all. 

Does your ketchup bottle look like this guy?

Image result for hank hill has a narrow urethra

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elfenix

elfenix 34364

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Posted (edited)
On 2/23/2020 at 3:59 PM, pops said:

Fucking plastic heinz squeeze bottles. The force required to get the ketchup to begin to come out is too great and you end up with a fucking glob. 

I want evenly distributed ketchup for fucks sake. 

this looks like a squeeze bottle:

e1f98e89-5997-45f3-b8fb-ac97bfc51e4a-1-4

it's not.  squeezed it with slightly wet hands and the thing shot across the kitchen, breaking on the floor, getting sauce all over

Edited by elfenix
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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

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On 2/22/2020 at 3:03 PM, Lobo said:

Now, if you were so say, "Listen here Sweet-Tits, there's a lot of math behind our pro-forma that I don't want to confuse you with...so let me skip ahead and just show you the bottom line and you can use that extra time to get us some sandwiches."  Then yes, that's mansplaining.

<------ scribbling notes furiously

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