Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Sandman 3403]

46 minutes ago, huge said:

Every time I use my range I hit the fan.

 

 

Gary was just takin a shit!

I never tossed off!

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

57 minutes ago, huge said:

Gary was just takin a shit!

If you're going to float an air biscuit, let me know, okay?

[huge 3793]

If you're going to float an air biscuit, let me know, okay?

What about a fart? Squeeze cheese?

[Macanudo 12990]

People who let their dogs help them drive. 

[Vic Mackey 47088]

People who let their dogs help them drive. 

White people...

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

People who let their dogs help them drive. 

What if the dog drives better than they do?

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

I hate when they say a game starts at 8 but in reality they mean 8:15.  I get it if a earlier game goes late, but there's only one nba finals today.  And they've been doing at least a half hour of pregame too.  

[skipperj 377]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

What if the dog drives better than they do?

Asian women?

[markstanco 12579]

My 7 year old boy likes to walk around the house naked. And in front of family members. Makes me rage.

[elfenix 34324]

14 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

You can’t just casually stroll into a Texas based forum and complain about free breakfast tacos, cold or not. Just not how things work.

could you complain about people in austin thinking they invented breakfast tacos?

[Celery Man 20970]

what is the alt history?  breakfast taquitos from corpus or something?

either way, that complaint was a grumpy mid first cup of coffee gripe.  I think the actual annoyance is with people from basically unrelated areas of the business using our office as a home base to hold meetings somewhere interesting.  And then the inevitable travel expense squeeze at the end of the year.  The cold breakfast tacos are just the "thanks for letting us spend the travel budget to have what could be a webex meeting in your hipster disneyland".

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

could you complain about people in austin thinking they invented breakfast tacos?

I suppose one could.

[Hunchback 51]

People who type 2$ instead of $2.

[52-80 19185]

20 minutes ago, Hunchback said:

People who type 2$ instead of $2.

if i had a c5 coin for everytime i saw that.

[Chad Fuck 17686]

My 7 year old boy likes to walk around the house naked. And in front of family members. Makes me rage.

He has mastered the art of giving zero fucks. You should be proud.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

9 hours ago, markstanco said:

My 7 year old boy likes to walk around the house naked. And in front of family members. Makes me rage.

Because you wish you could?

[chesthair 231]

9 hours ago, markstanco said:

My 7 year old boy likes to walk around the house naked. And in front of family members. Makes me rage.

"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."

-William Penn

 

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 5/30/2018 at 6:24 AM, El Diablo said:

At my work it's cyclical and like an arms race. Some chick will wear  some heels and then more will start to wear taller and spike-ier heels. Then the skirt lengths will start to go up. Next the cleavage starts to pop out. It's a slow burn. It's also seasonal. Fall/winter it generally starts with the boots and leggings competition. Spring/summer it starts with sandals/sleeveless tops. Always ends the same way, some prude gets offended. 

 

The secretaries pout and preen like cheap tarts on a red light street, but all he thinks to do is watch.

[VinyVango 694]

construction crews that leave the "lane closed", "road closed", etc... signs in place when the lane is not closed and they are not on the clock... just turn that shit sideways at least.

[lateshow 1304]

16 hours ago, Macanudo said:

People who let their dogs help them drive. 

What about cats?

 

[Macanudo 12990]

11 minutes ago, lateshow said:

What about cats?

 

Cats.  No.

 

Toonce.   I'm ok with that.

[Ldogg53 514]

Auto parts stores these days.  You can't walk in and ask where something is without the clerk immediately asking for the make and model.  Fucknuckle, I'll tell you if I need your help more, otherwise just tell me what aisle the shit's on and I'll see if you have it. 

[Underdog 28720]

14 hours ago, skipperj said:

Asian women?

That dog is probably escaping and driving itself to freedom. /noracist,well, maybe just a little. 

[Quasimofo 406]

If nanner puddin shows up to where I work, I consider that a good day.

[ERhine 1894]

Calling banana pudding “nanner puddin”.

[WhatTheBuck 28788]

3 minutes ago, ERhine said:

Calling banana pudding “nanner puddin”.

Lol. Thanks for the translation. I had no idea what that meant.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

6 minutes ago, ERhine said:

Calling banana pudding “nanner puddin”.

I'd like to report a murder.

[Vic Mackey 47088]

Calling banana pudding “nanner puddin”.

Sounds like lingo from uneducated white southern trash.

[WhatTheBuck 28788]

31 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

40 minutes ago, ERhine said:

Calling banana pudding “nanner puddin”.

Sounds like lingo from uneducated white southern trash.

I thought maybe he was talking about getting a visit from his kindly, doting, and possibly a little overweight grandmother. 

[Macanudo 12990]

Fuck knuckle is my new favorite curse

[lateshow 1304]

2 hours ago, Ldogg53 said:

Auto parts stores these days.  You can't walk in and ask where something is without the clerk immediately asking for the make and model.  Fucknuckle, I'll tell you if I need your help more, otherwise just tell me what aisle the shit's on and I'll see if you have it. 

[Quasimofo 406]

I knew that would get some of you fancy boys stirring.

[kopp0e 1135]

On 5/31/2018 at 7:47 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

Free food is the best food.

Unless it's under the banner of a bad name..?

 

[Blotto 23560]

On 5/31/2018 at 10:06 PM, markstanco said:

My 7 year old boy likes to walk around the house naked. And in front of family members. Makes me rage.

Next year Xmas gift?

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Alright alright alright

[Archer 474]

Does not standing up to let people pass at a concert count as trivial?

[Guest]

employees who are glued to their phones constantly at the office or in the market but cannot return a call/ text on their day off for 8 hours or the next day.

I'm talking one word answers or the ones who say,  "  hey, if you ever need anything for a customer, don't hesitate to call me any time..."

Yeah, well all I need is a thumbs up or some shit confirming you did what the customer needed, because they are calling me, NOT YOU.

 

Yeah...answer your phones, motherfuckers.  Gotdam adult babysitting sucks.

[Hugh G. Rection 156]

My 7 year old boy likes to walk around the house naked. And in front of family members. Makes me rage.

Yeah my kid has a bigger dick than I do, too.

[WhatTheBuck 28788]

1 hour ago, Hugh G. Rection said:

 

Yeah my kid has a bigger dick than I do, too.

 

His erections must be enormous. 

[Hugh G. Rection 156]

His erections must be enormous. 

Scary large

[52-80 19185]

Goddaughter/niece just chewed the fuck out of my phone.  Ran it for a year without case or screen protector and the glass was tip top shape...

[PilotsError 2303]

Going to buy something on Amazon and seeing

1-Click ordering is not available for this item.

Quote

 

Edited June 3, 2018 by PilotsError

[Archer 474]

6 hours ago, PilotsError said:

Going to buy something on Amazon and seeing

1-Click ordering is not available for this item.

Ordering on Prime and the estimated delivery is not two days. 

[Celery Man 20970]

I don't mind at all that things are printed in Spanish and English.  You should have at least a light handle on Spanish if you're a Texan.  I mean, anywhere in America, but especially Texas.

However, the thing where HEB prints Spanish on one side and English on the other, but also switches from standard to metric, plus there are still English words on the Spanish side, plus when I'm trying to find the right size on the shelf some are facing one way and some the other - it short circuits my brain.

[Brothahorn 10087]

Grown people who slide their feet in public. Lazy fucks.

 

 

[SilasCoade 2622]

14 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

Grown people who slide their feet in public. Lazy fucks.

 

 

Probably not pure sloth but neurologic condition.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

when my wife does her bi weekly 2.5-3.5 week laundry and takes up 30 of the 35 hooks on the drying rack where I do my laundry once a week and I get 5 hangers for 8 items i need to hang.

[Vic Mackey 47088]

Why isn't your wife doing your laundry as well?

[Guest]

make your bowflex useful and hang your clothes there.  Don't be begging for hooks...

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Not trivial... NBA refs.