Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

My daughter decided we needed to go ride bikes. I pulled the bikes out of the garage, dusted off the cobwebs, aired up the tires, adjusted the seats and handlebars, and off we went. We decided to ride over to Bahama Bucks and get some snow cones. Unfortunately we got caught up in some kind of snow cone catch 22. You can’t go through the drive through on foot or on a bike, but you have to go through the drive through. No snow cones for us. Thanks a lot Trump.

[Armybrat 40,635]

Just get some takeout margaritas from your favorite TexMex joint.

[Bevo&Pevo 4,972]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

My daughter decided we needed to go ride bikes. I pulled the bikes out of the garage, dusted off the cobwebs, aired up the tires, adjusted the seats and handlebars, and off we went. We decided to ride over to Bahama Bucks and get some snow cones. Unfortunately we got caught up in some kind of snow cone catch 22. You can’t go through the drive through on foot or on a bike, but you have to go through the drive through. No snow cones for us. Thanks a lot Trump.

Sounds more like a local common sense thing than political.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

My daughter decided we needed to go ride bikes. I pulled the bikes out of the garage, dusted off the cobwebs, aired up the tires, adjusted the seats and handlebars, and off we went. We decided to ride over to Bahama Bucks and get some snow cones. Unfortunately we got caught up in some kind of snow cone catch 22. You can’t go through the drive through on foot or on a bike, but you have to go through the drive through. No snow cones for us. Thanks a lot Trump.

That's a Biden campaign commercial right there.

[nnm 35,847]

26 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Sounds more like a local common sense thing than political.

He’s just riffing off the old “thanks Obama” SNL thing, when that was the catchphrase whenever something went wrong, regardless of the connection to the pres. 

At least I hope he is. 

[Scheiss Meister 8,387]

5 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

People who refer to their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife as their "partner".

But pardner is ok if you're wearing a cowboy hat and boots, right?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

Only if that’s all you’re wearing

[Ignatius 3,990]

On 4/14/2020 at 9:04 AM, HRSchenker said:

In context it absolutely is condescending. I've worked with enough women to know when to hit delete on an email that begins like that.

Think you’re looking for the “Trivial things that make you surly that make you a sociopath” thread....

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

On 4/25/2020 at 9:23 AM, HRSchenker said:

People who refer to their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife as their "partner".

I prefer the term Luva.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

I'm getting surly trying to figure out which god given right supersedes which other god given right.  Apparently the god given right to not wear a face mask in public supersedes the god given right to not have germy snot blown into the air we breathe and If one doesn't like it, then one should just stay home.  However, the god given right to not wear clothes in public (just like adam and eve) does not supersede the god given right to not see me naked.  If you don't want to see me naked can't you just stay home?

Edited April 27, 2020 by NeverMarryAStripper

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Just now, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm getting surly trying to figure out which god given right supersedes which other god given right.  Apparently the god given right to not wear a face mask in public supersedes the god given right to not have germy snot blown into the air we breathe and If one doesn't like it, then one should just stay home.  H

Aren't they both a gift from God ?

[RPM 26,159]

With all the TV shows being shot at home, a lot of people have those ring lights that reduce shadows. Problem is that it makes everyone have freaky glowing retnas.

[elfenix 34,157]

On 4/27/2020 at 7:05 PM, RPM said:

With all the TV shows being shot at home, a lot of people have those ring lights that reduce shadows. Problem is that it makes everyone have freaky glowing retnas.

After watching too many amateur allure videos i've associated ring lights with blow job videos

Edited April 30, 2020 by elfenix
fucking autocorrect

[elfenix 34,157]

Tapa double

[Tom 2,959]

People who have long ass email signatures at work that take up half a screen.  Graphics, social media links, etc....nobody cares or is reading all that.

  Put down your name, your title, and contact information in whatever font you type in and get the fuck on with it.  It shouldn't take up more than a few lines.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

7 hours ago, Tom said:

People who have long ass email signatures at work that take up half a screen.  Graphics, social media links, etc....nobody cares or is reading all that.

  Put down your name, your title, and contact information in whatever font you type in and get the fuck on with it.  It shouldn't take up more than a few lines.

But how will people know my favorite bible verse?

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

But how will people know my favorite bible verse?

To me, it's very personal.  The bible means a lot to me, but I don't want to get into specific passages.  I don't want to get into my favorite bible verses, okay?  

To me, the bible is like a Michael Bolton boxed set...I like 'em all about the same I guess.  Must be even harder for you being named Jesu's in real life.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

To me, it's very personal.  The bible means a lot to me, but I don't want to get into specific passages.  I don't want to get into my favorite bible verses, okay?  

To me, the bible is like a Michael Bolton boxed set...I like 'em all about the same I guess.  Must be even harder for you being named Jesu's in real life.

I celebrate Jesus' entire catalog.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

It seems a little redundant, after adding a hard drive to a RAID 0 stripe, to have to tell Windows 10 to increase the stripe's total capacity to include the space from the new hard drive. Once the drive is in the stripe, how is its capacity not automatically rolled in...?

[luke duke 6,363]

It seems a little redundant, after adding a hard drive to a RAID 0 stripe, to have to tell Windows 10 to increase the stripe's total capacity to include the space from the new hard drive. Once the drive is in the stripe, how is its capacity not automatically rolled in...?

I was just about to post the exact same thing.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

10 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I celebrate Jesus' entire catalog.

He still can't help ya with a curveball.

[elfenix 34,157]

when my fire tv asks me whether, yes, i actually do want to reboot it, after i've navigated through 4 menus to get there and pressed the reboot button.  no, fire tv, i didn't want to reboot, i was looking on netflix for the latest episode of british baking challenge, i have no idea how i got to the reboot option, thanks for fucking saving me from making a mistake that might cost 3 minutes of my time and lose no user data!

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

16 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

He still can't help ya with a curveball.

Up your butt, Jobu.

[Underdog 28,372]

On 4/29/2020 at 10:29 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I celebrate Jesus' entire catalog.

Nailed it.

[Bevo&Pevo 4,972]

teeny tiny little bit of stuff that feel like boulders while wearing flip flops.

[ABSR 5,284]

19 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

He still can't help ya with a curveball.

Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

3 minutes ago, ABSR said:

Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

I never saw him hit one, and I defy you to find a Bible verse proving me wrong..

[SHOOTER12 8,775]

19 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

He still can't help ya with a curveball.

 

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Up your butt, Jobu.

Fuck you Jobu, I do it myself.

[SHOOTER12 8,775]

8 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I never saw him hit one, and I defy you to find a Bible verse proving me wrong..

Phillipians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Just now, SHOOTER12 said:

Phillipians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

A little vague there.  I'm Looking for something  more precise.  I bet Jesus wept is the verse best suited. I know I wept after whiffing a lot of curves in my day.

[Steamboat1874 4,028]

15 hours ago, ABSR said:

Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

Yes but he sure can drive a nail.

[nnm 35,847]

17 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

A little vague there.  I'm Looking for something  more precise.  I bet Jesus wept is the verse best suited. I know I wept after whiffing a lot of curves in my day.

Luke 3:5.  He will make the curveball straight.  

[Guest Lobo]

People who start speeches with one of these three phrases: 

"We're gonna go ahead and get started."  You've already lost the room.  Just start with a standard greeting like, "Good Morning" or "Welcome" or "Thank you for Coming"

"I'm a (insert number) generation (insert name of state/city the conference is being held)"  You had nothing to do with where you were born, it's not an achievement that will impress a room.  It's like announcing that you're left handed, it's just something you were born into.  Unless you lost your right arm in an accident and then became left handed, that's a fucking great story that you should totally open with.  

"I'm (name) and I'm a Serial Entrepreneur"  What an overly-abused cliche title.  You and your spouse are involved in a MLM company with organic health products.  That's fine, but it doesn't make you a serial entrepreneur.  

I thought these intros would burn out after we left behind in-person conferences, but nope---every single fucking Zoom meeting starts with one of these three.  

 

[52-80 19,041]

We're a global company so one time somebody thought they were cute and started a conf call with "good morning, good afternoon, and good evening....."

And now half of the lemmings use that as their intro.  And every time I hear it I want to stab myself in the neck

 

[Guest Lobo]

That's an appropriate greeting since we're obviously living in a Truman-esque Simulation.  Nothing else explains the lunacy we are living with.  

Society:  Queue the Sun, and then head straight for it.

[Brothahorn 10,081]

Stupid heffa wears a face mask into Baskin Robbins, then pulls it down to eat her ice cream. Why the fuck are you wearing a mask?

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

That's an appropriate greeting since we're obviously living in a Truman-esque Simulation.  Nothing else explains the lunacy we are living with.  

Society:  Queue the Sun, and then head straight for it.

Key phrase there was "global company", meaning he's potentially talking with people in multiple  time zones I believe.

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, I know.  The only time I ever heard that greeting was in the Truman Show movie where he'd say that same greeting to his neighbors when he saw them.  I worked for a global company with offices on 6 continents before, I got the reference.  Was just trying to tie it back to pop culture to keep it light on the Trivial Surly thread.  I'm pretty good with timezones, thanks.  Levity has been taken out and shot dead during this pandemic, I can tell you that.  But I'll tell you tomorrow, in New Zealand.  Which is now.  God bless.

[After irth 1,242]

9 hours ago, Lobo said:

People who start speeches with one of these three phrases: 

"We're gonna go ahead and get started."  You've already lost the room.  Just start with a standard greeting like, "Good Morning" or "Welcome" or "Thank you for Coming"

"I'm a (insert number) generation (insert name of state/city the conference is being held)"  You had nothing to do with where you were born, it's not an achievement that will impress a room.  It's like announcing that you're left handed, it's just something you were born into.  Unless you lost your right arm in an accident and then became left handed, that's a fucking great story that you should totally open with.  

"I'm (name) and I'm a Serial Entrepreneur"  What an overly-abused cliche title.  You and your spouse are involved in a MLM company with organic health products.  That's fine, but it doesn't make you a serial entrepreneur.  

I thought these intros would burn out after we left behind in-person conferences, but nope---every single fucking Zoom meeting starts with one of these three.  

 

Sounds like your job sucks. 

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, After irth said:

Sounds like your job sucks. 

It’s not my job, I just attend a lot of conferences.  Maybe you don’t have to sit through the same shit that some of us do.  Congrats.  

[After irth 1,242]

21 minutes ago, Lobo said:

It’s not my job, I just attend a lot of conferences.  Maybe you don’t have to sit through the same shit that some of us do.  Congrats.  

Is it a hobby of yours?  Attending conferences?  Do you voluntarily “sit through...shit” for fun?

[Guest Lobo]

Yes, I’m the first person in American history to have to listen to annoying people as part of their job.  It’s unprecedented.

[Iceman 2,618]

On 4/27/2020 at 3:36 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm getting surly trying to figure out which god given right supersedes which other god given right.  Apparently the god given right to not wear a face mask in public supersedes the god given right to not have germy snot blown into the air we breathe and If one doesn't like it, then one should just stay home.  However, the god given right to not wear clothes in public (just like adam and eve) does not supersede the god given right to not see me naked.  If you don't want to see me naked can't you just stay home?

If i think we should stay home, by God, everybody stays home.

That's the headscratcher in all of this.

[SilasCoade 2,620]

9 hours ago, Lobo said:

It’s not my job, I just attend a lot of conferences.  Maybe you don’t have to sit through the same shit that some of us do.  Congrats.  

 

5 hours ago, Lobo said:

Yes, I’m the first person in American history to have to listen to annoying people as part of their job.  It’s unprecedented.

[Guest Lobo]

I attend the conferences for academic reasons.  My main day  job is in the private enterprise realm.  I guess they are all jobs, you're right.  My bad, the academic one just doesn't pay neither does the political one or the philanthropic ones.  

I wish I just had the one straight W-2 position but it's not in the cards for me.  All the little gigs, and some of them require attendance at annoying conferences (I guess, they did before Covid-19), it all adds up to a bunch of madness.  After Irth seems like a pleasant fellow.  I almost missed having people follow me from thread to thread from the old site.  

[SilasCoade 2,620]

[Guest Lobo]

mY bad, I conflated my non-paying gig conference attendance with my paying gig conference attendance.  I didn't realize that After Irth needed a win in life and I got all caught up my own shit as per usual.  Let's let him have this one, though I'm not even sure what that looks like.  How about this...I attend events for myriad reasons and most of them annoy me...is that cool?  

I am but a humble bank associate who only went to UT for 2.5 years.  god bless America.  

[dingleberryswitzer 2,724]

White crayons.   Wtf they are useless.

[52-80 19,041]

Draconian password restrictions.  Holy fuck i thought UT EID was the worst, this one is deloitte:

 

In order to ensure the privacy of your data we require your new password meet the following requirements:

• Passwords must be at least 10 characters in length.
• You cannot reuse your last 24 passwords.
• Passwords must contain characters from at least three of the following four classes:
  1. English uppercase letters: A, B, C...Z
  2. English lowercase letters: a, b, c...z
  3. Westernized Arabic numerals: 0, 1, 2...9
  4. Nonalphanumeric (special characters): !, @, #, %, &, *, etc.
• Passwords should not contain:
  1. Your username
  2. Your first and/or last name
  3. Dictionary words with or without (i) numbers or special characters at the beginning or end, or (ii) letters, numbers, or character exchanges (e.g., Summer2017, ?Happyman, H3llofr!end?)
  4. Words or numbers connected with you such as family names, pet names, birthdays, addresses, or phone numbers
  5. Common terminology, acronyms, or names associated with the Deloitte Firms or their clients
  6. Any sequencing of letters and numbers that follow the order of a keyboard (i.e., keyboard walk patterns such as 1234qwerASDF, 1qazXSW@3edc

[Iceman 2,618]

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Draconian password restrictions.  Holy fuck i thought UT EID was the worst, this one is deloitte:

 

In order to ensure the privacy of your data we require your new password meet the following requirements:

• Passwords must be at least 10 characters in length.
• You cannot reuse your last 24 passwords.
• Passwords must contain characters from at least three of the following four classes:
  1. English uppercase letters: A, B, C...Z
  2. English lowercase letters: a, b, c...z
  3. Westernized Arabic numerals: 0, 1, 2...9
  4. Nonalphanumeric (special characters): !, @, #, %, &, *, etc.
• Passwords should not contain:
  1. Your username
  2. Your first and/or last name
  3. Dictionary words with or without (i) numbers or special characters at the beginning or end, or (ii) letters, numbers, or character exchanges (e.g., Summer2017, ?Happyman, H3llofr!end?)
  4. Words or numbers connected with you such as family names, pet names, birthdays, addresses, or phone numbers
  5. Common terminology, acronyms, or names associated with the Deloitte Firms or their clients
  6. Any sequencing of letters and numbers that follow the order of a keyboard (i.e., keyboard walk patterns such as 1234qwerASDF, 1qazXSW@3edc

soon, hackers need we will...