Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

If I see you throw away your dog poop in my trash can I will follow you home to see where you live.  The next trash day, shortly after your trash is picked up, you will find a bag of my poop in your trash can

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

And sometimes dog poop bags don't get emptied by the collection process, which means that they stick to the bottom of the can to keep progressively stinking until the innocent owner has to make the effort to dislodge it with a stick or a hose or something. 

I got so fed up with it that I bought a giant sticker from Amazon telling people not to dump their dog's shit in my can. I wanted to make a more threatening one myself (i.e., "if I discover who is putting dog shit in my can, I will then force you to eat it at gunpoint, so fuck off" or similar), but I compromised on a civilized and professional looking one in order to keep the peace with Mrs. Doom. 

Throw away whatever else you need to in my garbage can, but I draw the line at feces. 

[Guest Lobo]

49 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

And sometimes dog poop bags don't get emptied by the collection process, which means that they stick to the bottom of the can to keep progressively stinking until the innocent owner has to make the effort to dislodge it with a stick or a hose or something. 

I got so fed up with it that I bought a giant sticker from Amazon telling people not to dump their dog's shit in my can. I wanted to make a more threatening one myself (i.e., "if I discover who is putting dog shit in my can, I will then force you to eat it at gunpoint, so fuck off" or similar), but I compromised on a civilized and professional looking one in order to keep the peace with Mrs. Doom. 

Throw away whatever else you need to in my garbage can, but I draw the line at feces. 

You want to tell dog owners you're gonna hold them at gunpoint?  Holy shit, I thought my idea was mean.  

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

No, I wanted to tell shitbag shit bag leavers that they were going to eat it at gunpoint. 

[Player 4575]

So what does your sticker actually say, Doom? Readers want to know. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

6 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If I see you throw away your dog poop in my trash can I will follow you home to see where you live.  The next trash day, shortly after your trash is picked up, you will find a bag of my poop in your trash can

That's commitment or a reason to be committed ?

[Biff Tannen 45690]

3 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

And sometimes dog poop bags don't get emptied by the collection process, which means that they stick to the bottom of the can to keep progressively stinking until the innocent owner has to make the effort to dislodge it with a stick or a hose or something. 

Very much this.  It leads me to another thing that makes me surly, which is when the garbage men just grab the sack out of the bin and don't actually turn it upside down to empty it.  There's even a robot arm to do it for them.  

[deadshank 24653]

I've caught my share of Karen speed walkers / loud cell phone talkers pull apart the bag of lawn clippings left at my driveway by my lawn guy so Karen could stuff her dog's crap in it or, being even lazier, just leave the poop bag on top of the lawn clippings bag.  The lack of respect, outright laziness and disdane for others drives me insane.  I call them out and tell them "uh uh UHH!!!, take your dog's crap to your house. Don't be lazy and inconsiderate."

I've got no problem confronting dipshits, so the shitty looks and back talk I get are awesome and laughable. The dizzy broads want to argue with me about how its no big deal. Oh, OK.  If it's not a big deal then tote your dog's crap back to your joint and throw it away there. 

It usually ends when I ask them if I can come over and take a shit and not flush it in their downstairs guest bathroom where their husband is forbidden to take a dump.  

/csb

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

1 hour ago, Player said:

So what does your sticker actually say, Doom? Readers want to know. 

They were sold in packages of two - here's the spare. 

 

[lockport 55]

Not sure if you'd consider this trivial but ADT just sent a solicitor to my door during a pandemic. The only reason I opened the door is because through the peephole it looked like my neighbor's wife but no, trying to sell me upgrades, wanting me to look at her 'materials' etc....normally I wouldn't really care but this just seems like an odd time to be sending these people out to go knocking on doors. Plus it woke up my dog.

[Sam Lin 3559]

So...pics of her 'materials?'

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

7 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

They were sold in packages of two - here's the spare. 

 

 

Did this work?

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

12 hours ago, lockport said:

Not sure if you'd consider this trivial but ADT just sent a solicitor to my door during a pandemic. The only reason I opened the door is because through the peephole it looked like my neighbor's wife but no, trying to sell me upgrades, wanting me to look at her 'materials' etc....normally I wouldn't really care but this just seems like an odd time to be sending these people out to go knocking on doors. Plus it woke up my dog.

Dear Penthouse Forum...

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

AMC not having the streaming rights to their own show, Better Call Saul.  WTF!?

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

8 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Did this work?

It appears to have worked for the 4-6 weeks that I've had it up. 

Not very many people regularly walk their dogs through our alley, and if the culprit was the most common dog walker (I don't have any other specific reason to suspect him beyond that) I wouldn't be surprised if my sign might have stopped him from leaving bags in anyone's can - he's a nice, pleasant, non-antagonistic guy, and it wouldn't surprise me if he simply didn't realize how or why the practice might annoy someone. 

[lockport 55]

12 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

So...pics of her 'materials?'

Trust me, be thankful I didn't post them. 

[elfenix 34248]

another damned unexpected foreign transaction fee.  no notice on the site that i was getting charged out of hong kong.  not a .hk url, not a site that is commonly known as being foreign like aliexpress, nothing.  guess i'm going to have to use a no foreign transaction fee card for all sites that i'm not certain are US sites. 

Edited May 28, 2020 by elfenix

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Chances are the boner pills you ordered will be fake

[Biff Tannen 45690]

19 hours ago, lockport said:

Not sure if you'd consider this trivial but ADT just sent a solicitor to my door during a pandemic. The only reason I opened the door is because through the peephole it looked like my neighbor's wife but no, trying to sell me upgrades, wanting me to look at her 'materials' etc....normally I wouldn't really care but this just seems like an odd time to be sending these people out to go knocking on doors. Plus it woke up my dog.

 

15 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

So...pics of her 'materials?'

Did you feel her material?

[Js1 85346]

On 5/27/2020 at 10:01 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If I see you throw away your dog poop in my trash can I will follow you home to see where you live.  The next trash day, shortly after your trash is picked up, you will find a bag of my poop in your trash can

Jokes on you, I usually see how far I can lob that bag of shit onto your roof.  Bonus if it lands in your chimney. 

[ABSR 5315]

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Chances are the boner pills you ordered will be fake

It's okay...she is going to fake the orgasm anyway.

[52-80 19159]

the employment entity where i recently transferred into fucking reports everything into my tax basis:

* grouplife insurance

* travel/accidental insurance

* optional health insurance....

so fucking insulting, they even add $40/mo worth of fucking cell phone plan into it as well.  i mean, from a tax point point of view, i guess thats something that i consume and use yes.....but why not charge office air conditioning and furniture to my payslip while they're at it? 

 

or does the treasury think its feasible for an employee to request about 500x different company sim cards in lieu of salary, flip them on the street for cash, and in turn circumvent income taxes?

 

im doubly mad cuz tonight just got notification that the shitty ass cell phone plan ran out of data, and theres 1 day left in the month

 

[El Diablo 4232]

On 5/27/2020 at 2:30 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

No, I wanted to tell shitbag shit bag leavers that they were going to eat it at gunpoint. 

Reminds me of a joke about a kid who had lunch with Pancho Villa.

[WhatTheBuck 28783]

On May 27, 2020 at 6:49 PM, deadshank said:

I've caught my share of Karen speed walkers / loud cell phone talkers pull apart the bag of lawn clippings left at my driveway by my lawn guy so Karen could stuff her dog's crap in it or, being even lazier, just leave the poop bag on top of the lawn clippings bag.  The lack of respect, outright laziness and disdane for others drives me insane.  I call them out and tell them "uh uh UHH!!!, take your dog's crap to your house. Don't be lazy and inconsiderate."

I've got no problem confronting dipshits, so the shitty looks and back talk I get are awesome and laughable. The dizzy broads want to argue with me about how its no big deal. Oh, OK.  If it's not a big deal then tote your dog's crap back to your joint and throw it away there. 

It usually ends when I ask them if I can come over and take a shit and not flush it in their downstairs guest bathroom where their husband is forbidden to take a dump.  

/csb

You have to throw their shit back at them. 

[luke duke 6413]

I really only mind if the trash has already been picked up and it's warm outside (April-October).  Because then I gotta roll my bin to my backyard where your dog's shit will stink for 6 days until the next pickup.  But some folks on their early morning dog walks will do it and my bin gets picked up an hour later, I'm cool with it.  

Same

[Trey3216 15346]

On 5/28/2020 at 12:06 PM, elfenix said:

another damned unexpected foreign transaction fee.  no notice on the site that i was getting charged out of hong kong.  not a .hk url, not a site that is commonly known as being foreign like aliexpress, nothing.  guess i'm going to have to use a no foreign transaction fee card for all sites that i'm not certain are US sites. 

All this talk about dog shit got you ordering cases of the rubber variety? 

[SHOOTER12 8810]

People on other boards who always use shite rather than shit.

[nnm 36416]

That’s a load of Shiite. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

I think you meant Sunni

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

[Underdog 28658]

Holy shith!! 

[Iceman 2715]

18 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

People on other boards who always use shite rather than shit.

Bullshite!

[Incredulity 11675]

On 5/29/2020 at 3:58 PM, 52-80 said:

the employment entity where i recently transferred into fucking reports everything into my tax basis:

* grouplife insurance

* travel/accidental insurance

* optional health insurance....

so fucking insulting, they even add $40/mo worth of fucking cell phone plan into it as well.  i mean, from a tax point point of view, i guess thats something that i consume and use yes.....but why not charge office air conditioning and furniture to my payslip while they're at it? 

 

or does the treasury think its feasible for an employee to request about 500x different company sim cards in lieu of salary, flip them on the street for cash, and in turn circumvent income taxes?

 

im doubly mad cuz tonight just got notification that the shitty ass cell phone plan ran out of data, and theres 1 day left in the month

 

Company cellphones are clearly defined by the IRS as a non taxable benefit.

I wonder if they are juicing their employee compensation numbers for some other tax benefit. 

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

I do not give a flying fuck what you as a corporate entity think about COVID or George Floyd and I didn't ask. You do not need to email me to tell me you care about him, It, Them, etc, because not only do I not believe you but also, again, I didn't ask. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

10 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I do not give a flying fuck what you as a corporate entity think about COVID or George Floyd and I didn't ask. You do not need to email me to tell me you care about him, It, Them, etc, because not only do I not believe you but also, again, I didn't ask. 

But in these trying times...

[elfenix 34248]

4.6 ounce tubes of toothpaste.  i can take 4 ounces on an airplane.  TSA could toss my 4.6 ounce tube of toothpaste, but not a 4 ounce tube.  

 

i know, toothpaste is more dense than water, but i don't feel like explaining to TSA that > 4 ounce tube by mass of toothpaste is < 4 ounces by volume so should be allowed.

[luke duke 6413]

But in these trying times...

...in an abundance of caution...

[Okie State 3821]

As we adjust to our new normal

[SHOOTER12 8810]

Freaking posters who post videos or links that are behind a paywall or require a damned subscription.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

19 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Freaking posters who post videos or links that are behind a paywall or require a damned subscription.

This. They should be forced to give you the money to see the content.

[Guest Lobo]

45 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

This. They should be forced to give you the money to see the content.

That just what South Austin's mom said.  

[Iceman 2715]

On 6/5/2020 at 1:11 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

I do not give a flying fuck what you as a corporate entity think about COVID or George Floyd and I didn't ask. You do not need to email me to tell me you care about him, It, Them, etc, because not only do I not believe you but also, again, I didn't ask. 

We got a statement on Covid by each of our top 4-5 folks every week.  It was extremely repetitive and most often condescending.  The George Floyd tragedy kicked it up to 13 on a 10 point scale.

I understand we have a 'corporate culture' and that a statement might be warranted. They just seem to go way the hell beyond that to virtue signal and help out the folks who need direction in life anyhoo.  Those people are generally going to be fuck ups to begin with.

Cull the fucking herd if their behavior is so shittastic that it requires direction from someone they hardly freaking know.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

I'm glad to know companies are with my family during these trying times.

[Tom 2959]

On 6/2/2020 at 11:28 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

People on other boards who always use shite rather than shit.

 

 

[Atxracer 797]

Not sure if already posted....But, selling a house.  This used to be pretty easy but now we have to get everything "staged", grab the dogs, grab the kid and all his stuff and go hide out for awhile.  Which, totally fucks up kid's schedule which means it fucks up our schedule. Been going on since the end of last week but expecting it will end this weekend.  Can't wait.  

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

28 minutes ago, Atxracer said:

Not sure if already posted....But, selling a house.

I'll take a beating for a month rather than move again.

[Fudge Nuggets 19190]

On 6/5/2020 at 1:22 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

But in these trying times...

Unprecedented times is what I normally see. 

[Iceman 2715]

3 hours ago, Atxracer said:

Not sure if already posted....But, selling a house.  This used to be pretty easy but now we have to get everything "staged", grab the dogs, grab the kid and all his stuff and go hide out for awhile.  Which, totally fucks up kid's schedule which means it fucks up our schedule. Been going on since the end of last week but expecting it will end this weekend.  Can't wait.  

I see your bet and raise you timing the purchase of your other home so that you neither pay two mortgages nor sleep in the street...

Pulled it off last year and it felt borderline miraculous.  So many little things can blow it all to hell.

Edited June 12, 2020 by Iceman

[Okie State 3821]

Not really trivial, but dealing with attorneys and getting nickel and dimed for filing paperwork. Fucking leaches.

[nnm 36416]

4 hours ago, Atxracer said:

Not sure if already posted....But, selling a house.  This used to be pretty easy but now we have to get everything "staged", grab the dogs, grab the kid and all his stuff and go hide out for awhile.  Which, totally fucks up kid's schedule which means it fucks up our schedule. Been going on since the end of last week but expecting it will end this weekend.  Can't wait.  

Freaking realtors. 6% to drive around and drink lattes while the proprietary MLS and title company do all the work. 
I’ll probably trigger a few on here. I don’t care.