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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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ztejas

ztejas 43119

Posted
Posted
On 8/11/2020 at 1:22 PM, freyguy said:

Assholes who knock on the door wanting to tell me about Jesus Christ.  Has this ever worked?

I got a handwritten letter from fucking Hawaii the other day at my apartment in Dallas. It was a Jehova's witness trying to spread the word. 

You can't make it up sometimes.

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If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

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Armybrat
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“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Ignatius said:

Has probably been mentioned a dozen times on this thread, but the phrase “Good morning!”....

Fuck you is generally frowned upon, but some people have it coming...

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PilotsError

PilotsError 2275

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There was a death in our family, and my house is the hub for everyone in town.  Woke up this morning and there were six boxes from the donut store and I went to get a donut and every box had either kolaches or pigs in a blanket or those those breakfast ham sandwiches.  Not a damn donut in any of the six boxes.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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Posted
1 minute ago, PilotsError said:

There was a death in our family, and my house is the hub for everyone in town.  Woke up this morning and there were six boxes from the donut store and I went to get a donut and every box had either kolaches or pigs in a blanket or those those breakfast ham sandwiches.  Not a damn donut in any of the six boxes.

That's some seriously fucked up shit...  ain't shit trivial about that.

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ztejas

ztejas 43119

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

There was a death in our family, and my house is the hub for everyone in town.  Woke up this morning and there were six boxes from the donut store and I went to get a donut and every box had either kolaches or pigs in a blanket or those those breakfast ham sandwiches.  Not a damn donut in any of the six boxes.

Donuts should be gotten with Kolaches in a 2 to 1 ratio. Never more, never less. 

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TornACL

TornACL 7666

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40 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

There was a death in our family, and my house is the hub for everyone in town.  Woke up this morning and there were six boxes from the donut store and I went to get a donut and every box had either kolaches or pigs in a blanket or those those breakfast ham sandwiches.  Not a damn donut in any of the six boxes.

I would have made sure there was a second death in the family after that atrocity. 

Anywho, thoughts and prayers. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20954

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Posted (edited)
46 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

There was a death in our family, and my house is the hub for everyone in town.  Woke up this morning and there were six boxes from the donut store and I went to get a donut and every box had either kolaches or pigs in a blanket or those those breakfast ham sandwiches.  Not a damn donut in any of the six boxes.

That's a pretty widespread fuckup - is everyone in your family a pilot or something? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Sorry for your loss.  And for your lack of donuts, especially after such a promising teaser of 6 boxes.  

If it's any consolation, the picking over of those kolaches/pigs in a blanket in order to get at the donuts virtually guarantees someone in your family now has Covid-19.  

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ABSR

ABSR 5284

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Posted
3 hours ago, PilotsError said:

There was a death in our family, and my house is the hub for everyone in town.  Woke up this morning and there were six boxes from the donut store and I went to get a donut and every box had either kolaches or pigs in a blanket or those those breakfast ham sandwiches.  Not a damn donut in any of the six boxes.

Do you live in West?

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Tom

Tom 2959

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On 8/14/2020 at 1:04 PM, ztejas said:

Donuts should be gotten with Kolaches in a 2 to 1 ratio. Never more, never less. 

 

I don't get eating donuts in the morning.  Whose idea was it that when people wake up, the first thing they need to start their day is cake?

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6 minutes ago, Tom said:

 

I don't get eating donuts in the morning.  Whose idea was it that when people wake up, the first thing they need to start their day is cake?

The French...

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unoriginal

unoriginal 55

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Two-factor authentication SMS messages that don't show the number in the notification preview, and when opened, are too long to fit on the full screen, requiring me to scroll up to find the number.

With a message like "123456 This is your auth number blah blah blah", I can just glance at the screen and type in the number.

With a message like "This is some company and your auth number is 123456. If you didn't request this blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" I need to open the message and scroll.

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3539

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6 hours ago, unoriginal said:

Two-factor authentication SMS messages that don't show the number in the notification preview, and when opened, are too long to fit on the full screen, requiring me to scroll up to find the number.

With a message like "123456 This is your auth number blah blah blah", I can just glance at the screen and type in the number.

With a message like "This is some company and your auth number is 123456. If you didn't request this blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" I need to open the message and scroll.

This is actually intentional in many cases, as having the 2fa show in the preview means a person can steal your phone and use it to 2fa without you unlocking it (unless you have secure previews turned on, which is a tiny minority of users). It's a basic security precaution.

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52-80

52-80 19043

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Posted

when you watch some sort of pursuit in a movie, and the pursuer falls down, gets temporarily incapacitated or whatever... and what does the other party do?  keeps screaming and runs on, only to be inevitably captured.

 

pfffft.  you kick that person in the head.  fucking beat them with a flower vase or something.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted
9 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Bullshit, everyone knows Jesus was a carpenter and could knock the hell out of a curve ball...

A Galilean carpenter (basically grew up at the modern day Syrian/Golan border) with the slugging proclivities of a Dominican third baseman, and yet every Catholic portrays him as a man as white as Edgar Winter.  Makes me surly.  Has apparently also caused a great deal of war.  

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lateshow

lateshow 1303

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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

A Galilean carpenter (basically grew up at the modern day Syrian/Golan border) with the slugging proclivities of a Dominican third baseman, and yet every Catholic portrays him as a man as white as Edgar Winter.  Makes me surly.  .  

Yeah, that never made sense to me.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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But he’s damn near Syrian by nationality.  Jewish by heritage.  The darkest Europeans embrace his church, the Italians and Greeks.  And the lightest colored Europeans, the Germans and the English are the ones who actually disavow the Catholic Church. The whole thing is backwards if you think about it.  The very dark people whose church is usurped by the white people and have all the great artists, just throw up their hands and say “yeah, you guys handle the paintings from now on”

 

makes so little sense.  But then, so does Catholicism.  

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deadshank

deadshank 24646

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Jesus has been depicted as white, black, Asian and Latino.  From way back when to modern times.   
 

This is not as big a deal as you make it out to be.  But you do Lobo like nobody else can. 
 

Of course Jesus wasn’t a blonde haired, blue eyed Scandinavian-looking man.  He was a Jew from Galilee.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Nobody said it was a big deal.  That's why we mentioned it on "trivial things" on the LULZ forum.  If we had started a thread on Daily Texan or CR, and not made so many wise-cracks about him hitting a curveball, then yeah...that would be us making a big deal.  You're lecturing us on the wrong forum.  Now then, back to this Asiatic Brazilian Jesus you mentioned...I smell Netflix series!  

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deadshank

deadshank 24646

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35 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Nobody said it was a big deal.  That's why we mentioned it on "trivial things" on the LULZ forum.  If we had started a thread on Daily Texan or CR, and not made so many wise-cracks about him hitting a curveball, then yeah...that would be us making a big deal.  You're lecturing us on the wrong forum.  Now then, back to this Asiatic Brazilian Jesus you mentioned...I smell Netflix series!  

I’m not lecturing.  I’m the keynote speaker at a Surly convention on outrages and trivial crap.  
 

 

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Hate

Hate 20082

Posted
Posted
Fuck Saran Wrap in the goatass. 
It's a handy material for sure, but every goddamn time you use it is such a goddamn beating that "eh, good enough" is a huge relief to eventually achieve. 

You need to make the switch to Press and Seal. Same concept but much easier execution.
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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1 minute ago, deadshank said:

I’m not lecturing.  I’m the keynote speaker at a Surly convention on outrages and trivial crap.  
 

 

Yes, I have you down as my plenary session before the hosted bar reception.  This is the longest I've gone without registering for a conference/convention, I actually kinda miss the shitty appetizers and crap sauvignon blanc.  

Speaking of Jesus, here's the surly exchange:

Catholic Artist:  "I'm going to paint Jesus as a man who was born to a married virgin, who found out early on he was the son of Yahweh while growing up in Galilee, as a man who somehow made 12 best friends in his 30's, who cured the sick, who gave sight to the blind, who made water into wine, who turned one serving of food into a feast for the hungry, who challenged an Empire, who walked on water, who brought Lazarus back from the dead, who remained celibate despite his fame, who performed exorcisms, who talked directly with God, and who eventually himself rose from the dead and walked the Earth for 40 days before leaving a legacy that disrupted the course of human history for two millennia.  

Surly:  "Yeah, that all makes perfect sense.  Totally plausible."  

Catholic Artist:  "Also, I'll be painting him with blue eyes and blonde hair." 

Surly:  "You sleep on a bed of fairy tale lies!"  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted
1 hour ago, Llogg said:

Nobody gives a shit about your views on religion. JFC STFU about it.

You seem like a hoot.  dude, it was a levity-filled exchange going back a few pages.  If you mistook this for an exchange of our actual and formal views on religion, I have a Dawkins book I'd like to sell you.  Somebody, not me...brought up how Jesus is portrayed and we all had some laughs along the way.  We were all laughing at how Surly behaves sometimes.  Whoever sits next to you at Thanksgiving in 2019 and 2021 must be praising God for the 2020 Pandemic.  Have some pos rep., none of this is real anyways.

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