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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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5 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

People who buy something, carefully open it, remove parts, carefully reclose it, and then return it to the store should be treated like that hooligan in A Clockwork Orange.  They should be strapped in a chair with their eyes forced open and be made to watch UT football on an endless loop.

Your 'open-box' pocket pussy was missing the clit again, wasn't it?  Buy clearance sex toys, win clearance prizes.  

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33 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

The amount of chains MLB players wear.  It's like a slimmed down version of being OG'd in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.  

We are only a few seasons away from a clear bat with ocean life living inside it.  I don’t mind the jewelry.  It’s the fucking body armor that’s over the top.  

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On 10/16/2020 at 1:24 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

image.png.848caac4480f2c14376e1ea7455b67c0.png

It's really hard to take today's "journalism" seriously when none of the 'journalists" can write a coherent sentence.  I doubt that this writer meant that the EPA was gong to treat the court(s) like a Baylor coed.  The EPA can defy the court, or they can violate the court's order.  However, I think they can only violate the Judge, not the court(s).

 

not to mention the pic of steam coming out of a "smoke stack". They can't find a pic of an actual coal ash pond? Here journalists, let me help you out:

 

https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffsb&q=coal+ash+pond&atb=v1-1&iax=images&ia=images

 

 

 

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On 10/17/2020 at 8:59 PM, After irth said:

You ever notice that when people are rude, and you call them out on their bad behavior, that they turn around and get offended, as if you just committed some crime against humanity?  And it’s your fault all of a sudden...?

Eat a bag of dicks. 

"Can't stand rude behavior in a man, won't tolerate it"...

~Captain Woodrow F Call~

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11 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

The amount of chains MLB players wear.  It's like a slimmed down version of being OG'd in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.  

It seems like it's getting more and more excessive. I was thinking watching the NLCS last night, at what point does the chain slow you down? I mean surely once you hit a certain weight it will hinder your ability to steal a base or run down a foul ball.

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[I know...rather than complain, I should just purge ESPN from my system altogether...]

 

All streaming websites, if the video is fuzzy while it starts, it will eventually cache, and you can replay the video at full-res

ESPN website clips, the entire first half of the clip is fuzzy, and it will stay that fuzzy, no matter how much you reload or restart.  Settings doesnt allow you to lock in a resolution.  And since sports clips are basically 20 seconds long, you missed the entirety of the actual clip because its like trying to read paperbook through a beer bottle

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On 10/17/2020 at 8:59 PM, After irth said:

You ever notice that when people are rude, and you call them out on their bad behavior, that they turn around and get offended, as if you just committed some crime against humanity?  And it’s your fault all of a sudden...?

Eat a bag of dicks. 

Why would they respect your correction when they don't respect themselves?

Baseline tenet of our society these days...

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3 minutes ago, slorch said:

Why would they respect your correction when they don't respect themselves?

Baseline tenet of our society these days...

What makes a man?  Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?

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My wifi reaches just barely to my driveway; strong enough to be detected by not strong enough to transmit data in any meaningful way.  So if I'm sitting in my car and want to pull up a map or even open the Audible app, it won't work.  You have to go inside or go to Settings and turn off wifi for data to kick in.  Why the fucking phone doesn't have a minimum speed threshold to maintain a wifi connection is beyond me.

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1. People who get a lot of toast crumbs into the tub of Land O'Lakes butter when buttering toast. Clean off the knife before getting back in the butter.

2. Bars of soap getting progressively smaller.

3. And this last one drives me nuts. Every time I go out to eat and get a sandwich that has tomato slices I have to go back and ask for new slices, or ask before when I order, because I ALWAYS get the stem end of the tomato. Always. Today before we went to see Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, two stem end slices on my sandwich. It happens, repeatedly, on three continents. 

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This is borderline non-trivial. If I'm placing a takeout order, don't tell me it's going to take 30 minutes when it only takes 15 minutes to prepare my order. It's amazing how often I show up in 15 minutes and my order is ready. I accidentally waited 30 minutes to pick up an order of chicken wings not too long ago because I forgot my wallet and had to turn around and go home to pick it up. The wings were borderline room temperature and had to have been sitting out, unheated, in takeout packaging, for at least 15 minutes. I threw away their menu and deleted their number from my phone. Never going back. 

I just ordered an Italian sub from a nearby pizza place. They told me 30 minutes. Maybe they're that busy. I hope so because they're a good mom and pop shop that has served their neighborhood for decades. But I'm showing up in 15 minutes. 

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13 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

This is borderline non-trivial. If I'm placing a takeout order, don't tell me it's going to take 30 minutes when it only takes 15 minutes to prepare my order. It's amazing how often I show up in 15 minutes and my order is ready. I accidentally waited 30 minutes to pick up an order of chicken wings not too long ago because I forgot my wallet and had to turn around and go home to pick it up. The wings were borderline room temperature and had to have been sitting out, unheated, in takeout packaging, for at least 15 minutes. I threw away their menu and deleted their number from my phone. Never going back. 

I just ordered an Italian sub from a nearby pizza place. They told me 30 minutes. Maybe they're that busy. I hope so because they're a good mom and pop shop that has served their neighborhood for decades. But I'm showing up in 15 minutes. 

The opposite is just as irritating. 

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8 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I just ordered an Italian sub from a nearby pizza place. They told me 30 minutes. Maybe they're that busy. I hope so because they're a good mom and pop shop that has served their neighborhood for decades. But I'm showing up in 15 minutes. 

 

the only truly impressive thing about columbus, ohio, is how many mom & pop pizza places there are.  it's truly astounding.  feels like one every commercial block. 

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4 hours ago, elfenix said:

the only truly impressive thing about columbus, ohio, is how many mom & pop pizza places there are.  it's truly astounding.  feels like one every commercial block. 

We are definitely blessed in that regard. There really is no reason to ever buy from a chain restaurant. I could have a pie from a different independently owned pizza parlor every day for a week and never drive more than three miles to pick one up.

My favorite is Tommy's Pizza. They have three stores and have been around since 1950. Last night I had Enrico's. They just have the one store and I've seen the same people working there for 20 years. A guy I spoke with in line said he'd been going there for 34 years. He also agreed that they tend to overestimate the wait time. 

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Better to underpromise and overdeliver...except if the food is cold.

I agree with whatthebuck, in that i want to come in right when it's coming off the line.  I understand the WHY of places doing it, but it still sucks when you get it home and it's room temp.

Our local Pizza Planet, from whom I admittedly occasionally indulge in crap pizza, will tell me on the phone, "give us 20 minutes."  I will walk in there 19 min after the call and my double pepperoni/ extra cheese is just coming out of the oven; so they get it pretty damned spot on.

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I have had slightly better success than the default level by mentioning on the phone (and avoiding the app/online ordering system whenever possible) that it's going to take me XX minutes to get to the restaurant - that seems to help places calibrate a little better than just following whatever assembly line of prioritization that they would otherwise follow. 

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Haven't been able to do this as much because of Covid - But I used to insist on only getting to go food from places that have a bar. So I would get there. Have one drink. Place my order, then sip on a second drink while waiting on the food. Almost always works out that I usually only have about 1/4 of a beer left that I can down real quick. 

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10 hours ago, deadshank said:

The straggler ice cube that falls out of the ice maker and on to the floor 0.25 seconds after you pull your glass away from the control arm. 
 

Every stinking time. 

Sounds a lot like one of the problems 50+ men have several times every day.

Drip, drip. 

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4 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Haven't been able to do this as much because of Covid - But I used to insist on only getting to go food from places that have a bar. So I would get there. Have one drink. Place my order, then sip on a second drink while waiting on the food. Almost always works out that I usually only have about 1/4 of a beer left that I can down real quick. 

I’ve been volunteering for to-go pickup for this exact reason since my daughter was born 10 years ago. Same routine, too. 

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Not positioning the manhole covers in the center of the drive lanes but rather in the two tracks where, if you stay centered in your drive lane, you hit every single one of them.  Bonus points when the street gets an asphalt overlay to make the manhole countersunk into the street surface.  
 

Ka-thunk - ka-thunk. 
 

I think someone at the City of Houston made a deal with the area front end alignment shops and is getting an override on profits.  

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On 10/26/2020 at 8:56 AM, deadshank said:

The straggler ice cube that falls out of the ice maker and on to the floor 0.25 seconds after you pull your glass away from the control arm. 
 

Every stinking time. 

Rookie move....... never get the thru the door ice makers, biggest scam since New Coke.

 

And I had such higher expectations of you.

Edited by Onboard 2.0
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2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Not positioning the manhole covers in the center of the drive lanes but rather in the two tracks where, if you stay centered in your drive lane, you hit every single one of them.  Bonus points when the street gets an asphalt overlay to make the manhole countersunk into the street surface.  
 

Ka-thunk - ka-thunk. 
 

I think someone at the City of Houston made a deal with the area front end alignment shops and is getting an override on profits.  

When they put the manhole covers in the center of the road and don't line up the stripes when they replace the cover.

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10 hours ago, deadshank said:

Not positioning the manhole covers in the center of the drive lanes but rather in the two tracks where, if you stay centered in your drive lane, you hit every single one of them.  Bonus points when the street gets an asphalt overlay to make the manhole countersunk into the street surface.  
 

Ka-thunk - ka-thunk. 
 

I think someone at the City of Houston made a deal with the area front end alignment shops and is getting an override on profits.  

If you are ever driving through Odom, Tx heading to Corpus or points to the South, stay on the inside lane to avoid the manhole covers.  Some things just stick with you.

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11 hours ago, slorch said:

or Allsups...

Hell's aroma is the smell of rancid grease in every Allsups everywhere. It permeates every molecule of clothing, your hair, your skin, like cigarette smoke from bars in the days before smokers were exiled to the street, or the hellish BO from Seinfeld. It hits you in the face when you walk in the door, you feel it under your soles as you slide around the counter, and you taste it on the back of your tongue for days after your unfortunate foray into the crypt.

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20 minutes ago, nnm said:

Hell's aroma is the smell of rancid grease in every Allsups everywhere. It permeates every molecule of clothing, your hair, your skin, like cigarette smoke from bars in the days before smokers were exiled to the street, or the hellish BO from Seinfeld. It hits you in the face when you walk in the door, you feel it under your soles as you slide around the counter, and you taste it on the back of your tongue for days after your unfortunate foray into the crypt.

And oh how I miss it.

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