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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
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In th espirit of the OP, i enjoy El Fenix. I'm in the minority.

But this annoys me, when I order cheese enchiladas anywhere else, i have to actually ask to add onions because we are a nation of wimps who have ruined the cheese enchilada platter with too many "cut the onions" orders.

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1 hour ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

In th espirit of the OP, i enjoy El Fenix. I'm in the minority.

But this annoys me, when I order cheese enchiladas anywhere else, i have to actually ask to add onions because we are a nation of wimps who have ruined the cheese enchilada platter with too many "cut the onions" orders.

Would you rather they cut the cheese?

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20832

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The happy Father’s Day to my dad in heaven posts. Also applies to mothers. Obviously they can’t see your post, so it’s just another attempt to gain attention.


My sisters always tag me in posts on the day my mom died. I don’t celebrate that day, it was just going to be a regular Wednesday or whatever, but ok. The only reason I could remember what the specific date is is because I graduated from UT on that date and they brought it up then too. Can we just stick to mother’s day or her birthday or something?
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dimyh

dimyh 1874

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10 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

When you go to piss an hour or two after blowing your load, and there's a little bit of jizz still hanging out in the tip of your dick, causing your piss stream to split multiple directions.

 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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14 hours ago, Celery Man said:

 


My sisters always tag me in posts on the day my mom died. I don’t celebrate that day, it was just going to be a regular Wednesday or whatever, but ok. The only reason I could remember what the specific date is is because I graduated from UT on that date and they brought it up then too. Can we just stick to mother’s day or her birthday or something?

 

I assume this is a woman thing. Seems like half of the posts chicks post on Facebook are "miss you, Dad". "Miss you, Mom", "Miss  you, Snuggles the cat".

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bluto

bluto 4861

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On 6/18/2018 at 10:20 PM, Jersey Man10 said:

I have a problem with dress shirts because I have a thicc neck. Size 19 I think so it makes the rest of my shirt super huge.

Reminds me of the fbook post wherein a lady described her grossly obese dog as being "food motivated with a metabolism problem"

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12387

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13 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Women who stroll down the aisle of your Southwest flight with their oversized and over stuffed carryon slung over their shoulder so it smacks everyone in the face on her way to the rear of the plane to park her fat ass in some middle seat between two unfortunate souls

On a similar note, people who dawdle in the aisle after the plane has landed.  They've got a special place in hell.

How many people have missed connections because Sally Fuckface couldn't get her shit and get off the god damned plane?

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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20 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

On a similar note, people who dawdle in the aisle after the plane has landed.  They've got a special place in hell.

How many people have missed connections because Sally Fuckface couldn't get her shit and get off the god damned plane?

Fuck you Sally and your 200lb carry-on that you needed help loading and had to put 6 rows behind you so you are like a Salmon swimming upstream to get it and BLOCKING EVERYONE ELSE FROM GETTING OFF THE PLANE>

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 24727

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On 6/19/2018 at 9:25 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

No but the NFL is only a little over 2 months away so it will be starting soon.

 

And it goes like this....

Man I had (insert players name here) and if would have just got the ball down there on the goal line on that last drive I would have won....

Or if they had not taken him out and put so and so in down there on the goal line...

Or if I had just played so and so from my bench instead of the other so and so I would have got so many points and would have...etc....etc....etc.

 

Shut the fuck up....I do not care !

 

 

That's how I feel about assholes who won't shut up about their fucking kids. Stfu! Nobody gives one solitary fuck about your fuck trophies. Nobody. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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I'm a time in my life where I can much more easily listen to a man talk about his kids as opposed to listening to a grown man talk about his fantasy football team or what he thinks of the Cowboys.  Because as annoying as his children are, they are real.  His online and video-game based delusions aren't real, nor does he play for the Cowboys despite his jersey.  

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People who think it's some kind of mortal sin when you scoff at paying homage to their idiotic signs they ( illegally) place in the street.

51OfvjHrkVL._SX466_.jpg

 

 

Just let Darwin do his job, you stupid fuckers.   Nobody is trying to hit your kid.  Keep their little asses, and your idiotic sign) out of the street.

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Guest Lobo

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5 minutes ago, slorch said:

People who think it's some kind of mortal sin when you scoff at paying homage to their idiotic signs they ( illegally) place in the street.

51OfvjHrkVL._SX466_.jpg

 

 

Just let Darwin do his job, you stupid fuckers.   Nobody is trying to hit your kid.  Keep their little asses, and your idiotic sign) out of the street.

I sort of agree.  But I am dumbfounded by how many fucking idiots traipse through my street each day.  We live on an cul-de-sac that's off of another cul-de-sac that's off of a dead-end road.  All the signs and physical indicators that scream "Don't come down here, you're fucking lost"...They all think it's some magic cut-thru to Loop 360.  Fucking idiots.  So we have to put up shit like the turtle and cones because the world is confusing for them.  Darwin actually has them targeted, not the kids on my street.  

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19 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I'm a time in my life where I can much more easily listen to a man talk about his kids as opposed to listening to a grown man talk about his fantasy football team or what he thinks of the Cowboys.  Because as annoying as his children are, they are real.  His online and video-game based delusions aren't real, nor does he play for the Cowboys despite his jersey.  

I agree. When I meet someone new at work, which is almost daily; after sports or college allegiences, discussion almost always goes to kids( or parents if  young whippersnapper) or where the hometown might be.

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ernest_t_bass

ernest_t_bass 1196

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People who don't take care of their own shit, so they have to use yours (typically wives)

- Wife has probably 5000 pics and videos on her phone, and she's been at capacity for over a year.  It's always, "Let me use your phone.  Mine is full."  Rage

- Wife uses my razor ... rage

- Kids use your shit b/c they can't find theirs (didn't look)... rage.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4440

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53 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

People who don't take care of their own shit, so they have to use yours (typically wives)

- Wife has probably 5000 pics and videos on her phone, and she's been at capacity for over a year.  It's always, "Let me use your phone.  Mine is full."  Rage

- Wife uses my razor ... rage

- Kids use your shit b/c they can't find theirs (didn't look)... rage.

Me and my wife the first time we went out of town overnight together. next morning, she comes out of the shower, and she's using my toothbrush.

me "WTF. That's my toothbrush?"

Her : "So, we kiss all the time whats the big deal."

Me: "Uh I don't want my toothbrush in your mouth"

her (with tone) "Oh, so you don't mind when your dick is my mouth, but I can't put your toothbrush in your mouth."

Me : "Yeah, because, literally, there was a dick in your mouth!!"

 

 

 

 

 

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elfenix

elfenix 34161

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6 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Me and my wife the first time we went out of town overnight together. next morning, she comes out of the shower, and she's using my toothbrush.

me "WTF. That's my toothbrush?"

Her : "So, we kiss all the time whats the big deal."

Me: "Uh I don't want my toothbrush in your mouth"

her (with tone) "Oh, so you don't mind when your dick is my mouth, but I can't put your toothbrush in your mouth."

Me : "Yeah, because, literally, there was a dick in your mouth!!"

 

bet that's not an issue anymore.

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 24727

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2 hours ago, slorch said:

People who think it's some kind of mortal sin when you scoff at paying homage to their idiotic signs they ( illegally) place in the street.

51OfvjHrkVL._SX466_.jpg

 

 

Just let Darwin do his job, you stupid fuckers.   Nobody is trying to hit your kid.  Keep their little asses, and your idiotic sign) out of the street.

I make a point to run over these fucking things.

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25671

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22 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Women who stroll down the aisle of your Southwest flight with their oversized and over stuffed carryon slung over their shoulder so it smacks everyone in the face on her way to the rear of the plane to park her fat ass in some middle seat between two unfortunate souls

 

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baboso

baboso 6043

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14 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Me and my wife the first time we went out of town overnight together. next morning, she comes out of the shower, and she's using my toothbrush.

me "WTF. That's my toothbrush?"

Her : "So, we kiss all the time whats the big deal."

Me: "Uh I don't want my toothbrush in your mouth"

her (with tone) "Oh, so you don't mind when your dick is my mouth, but I can't put your toothbrush in your mouth."

Me : "Yeah, because, literally, there was a dick in your mouth!!"

 

 

 

 

 

She's right, you know.

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PvilleStang

PvilleStang 2823

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23 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

On a similar note, people who dawdle in the aisle after the plane has landed.  They've got a special place in hell.

How many people have missed connections because Sally Fuckface couldn't get her shit and get off the god damned plane?

Last time the wife and I flew, the larger couple two or three rows back grabbed their shit when we landed and got on their starting blocks.  They pushed their way right past us when our turn to grab and go came up.  Every fucking person up to that point waited for those in front of them to get up and go, and it was moving quite nicely, until the Klumps turn, to which they said, fuck your social contract, we've got a Golden Corral to put out of business.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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10 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Last time the wife and I flew, the larger couple two or three rows back grabbed their shit when we landed and got on their starting blocks.  They pushed their way right past us when our turn to grab and go came up.  Every fucking person up to that point waited for those in front of them to get up and go, and it was moving quite nicely, until the Klumps turn, to which they said, fuck your social contract, we've got a Golden Corral to put out of business.

If you've ever flown in China, this is the norm. The plan hasn't even landed and people are grabbing bags and in the isle. It's thunderdome. 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8791

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29 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Last time the wife and I flew, the larger couple two or three rows back grabbed their shit when we landed and got on their starting blocks.  They pushed their way right past us when our turn to grab and go came up.  Every fucking person up to that point waited for those in front of them to get up and go, and it was moving quite nicely, until the Klumps turn, to which they said, fuck your social contract, we've got a Golden Corral to put out of business.

its quite evident that a fat person watering their garden would make any of us surly

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Guest Lobo

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48 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

If you've ever flown in China, this is the norm. The plan hasn't even landed and people are grabbing bags and in the isle. It's thunderdome. 

We're obviously going to teeter on racial sensitivity here, but why is that a culture so entrenched in tradition and etiquette treats personal space in public places like a joke meant to be shit on?  And in particular, Chinese/SE Asian women?  It's not a stereotype when I get hip-checked 6 times a day whilst traveling.  And it's always them.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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6 minutes ago, Lobo said:

We're obviously going to teeter on racial sensitivity here, but why is that a culture so entrenched in tradition and etiquette treats personal space in public places like a joke meant to be shit on?  And in particular, Chinese/SE Asian women?  It's not a stereotype when I get hip-checked 6 times a day whilst traveling.  And it's always them.

You snooze, you lose, Gaijin 

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5918

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Fucking fatass sister-in-law has been tagging along with us this week at Disney.  Started to lecture me yesterday about how unhealthy cooking on a grill is (carcinogens).  This from the 300-pounder who has had dessert after every effing meal this week.  We had to drive to another hotel this morning so she could get Mickey shaped waffles with chocolate chips.  The spandex she has worn every day has been an added bonus.

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SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2620

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7 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Fucking fatass sister-in-law has been tagging along with us this week at Disney.  Started to lecture me yesterday about how unhealthy cooking on a grill is (carcinogens).  This from the 300-pounder who has had dessert after every effing meal this week.  We had to drive to another hotel this morning so she could get Mickey shaped waffles with chocolate chips.  The spandex she has worn every day has been an added bonus.

not trivial

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Thetexashammer

Thetexashammer 1062

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Posted
On 6/22/2018 at 9:59 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

If you've ever flown in China, this is the norm. The plan hasn't even landed and people are grabbing bags and in the isle. It's thunderdome. 

Literally, ever. I've flown into China once. They had to stop the plane and tell everyone to sit the fuck down because we weren't at the gate yet.

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Newdoc

Newdoc 3429

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Posted
On 6/22/2018 at 10:48 AM, Lobo said:

We're obviously going to teeter on racial sensitivity here, but why is that a culture so entrenched in tradition and etiquette treats personal space in public places like a joke meant to be shit on?  And in particular, Chinese/SE Asian women?  It's not a stereotype when I get hip-checked 6 times a day whilst traveling.  And it's always them.

Because they know we will culturally be polite and really, that's just the way it is in China and nobody gives a flying rat's ass.  I've taken the attitude that don't start it because I will end it.  You're not cutting up past my row on the aisle unless your sister is dying at the local hospital.  I'm tired of people letting others shit on them. I don't care where you are from.

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