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Posted
On 12/10/2020 at 9:37 PM, NorthLoop said:

Cheap paper towels that do this shit. I never buy cheap but Covid has forced me to a few times. 

 

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The trick is to have it ready by your side when the time hits, that way you're not in a hurry and have this happen to you.   Also, tissue > paper towel. 

Posted
4 minutes ago, Underdog said:

The trick is to have it ready by your side when the time hits, that way you're not in a hurry and have this happen to you.   Also, tissue > paper towel. 

Are you talking about wiping your ass with paper towels? Been quite awhile since I got myself into one of those predicaments. 

Posted
5 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Go back to bed, buck. 

Surely you weren't actually talking about wiping your ass with cheap paper towels as opposed to tissue, after someone just complained about cheap paper towels with a photo of some on their kitchen countertop. That wouldn't make any sense. 

Posted
On 12/6/2020 at 5:54 AM, 52-80 said:

When the cooking pan isn’t large enough to fit all the bacon you want to eat

just low and slow and you’ll be fine. you don’t have to lay the strips out in neat little rows. 

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Posted
25 minutes ago, futureman said:

just low and slow and you’ll be fine. you don’t have to lay the strips out in neat little rows. 

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Look at that Bacon smelling, mouth salivating, bow tie wearing hungry motherfucker.

 

good boy.

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Posted

Two elementary school kids on online school cause of the ‘rona and I am on home office 2-3 days a week to keep numbers in the office down.   No school lunches and no work lunches means a hell of a lot more cooking and dirty dishes, especially because we aren’t barbarians and refuse to do the paper plate thing.

I feel like half my life is doing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. I get a twitch in my eye if I see one of the girls get a new water glass instead of keeping it all day.

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Posted
21 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Geez...........another of the me, me, me generation.....

To be fair, I think he is of the I, me, I, me generation.

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Posted
50 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Two elementary school kids on online school cause of the ‘rona and I am on home office 2-3 days a week to keep numbers in the office down.   No school lunches and no work lunches means a hell of a lot more cooking and dirty dishes, especially because we aren’t barbarians and refuse to do the paper plate thing.

I feel like half my life is doing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. I get a twitch in my eye if I see one of the girls get a new water glass instead of keeping it all day.

100% agree on the paper plates. Thought I was the only one.....

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Posted

when you're driving cautiously in a parking lot, manage to surprise a pedestrian who's not paying attention, and they give you a dirty look like you're driving like a maniac and almost ran them over

because that makes me WANT to run them over but at that point I feel like I've missed my best chance and now you're talking about driving through the front door at HEB to catch them from behind

and that seems like too much effort

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Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

when you're driving cautiously in a parking lot, manage to surprise a pedestrian who's not paying attention, and they give you a dirty look like you're driving like a maniac and almost ran them over

because that makes me WANT to run them over but at that point I feel like I've missed my best chance and now you're talking about driving through the front door at HEB to catch them from behind

and that seems like too much effort

When you make an obvious stop/ yield right of way, trying to convey courtesy and caution...

 

and they fucking piddle their way across in front of you.  Gotdammit, move your ass, motherfucker... my good nature is not infinite.

Edited by slorch
Posted
On 12/12/2020 at 8:32 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Go ahead and explain it to me in a way that makes sense because I'm not seeing it and ztejas saying he gets it doesn't exactly help your case. 

You not getting a very simple joke doesn't help your case.

Posted

I've been buying the same bodywash on Amazon for a while now but when I tried to order it again, they "Don't know when this will be available again". WTF, I'm used to this one now!

Posted
4 hours ago, Sandman said:

I've been buying the same bodywash on Amazon for a while now but when I tried to order it again, they "Don't know when this will be available again". WTF, I'm used to this one now!

Freaking bodywash makes me surly. I’m not a chick. I use soap. From a bar. I don’t need a wash rag or loofa or sponge or anything else to apply it. And it lasts twice as long and is twice as cheap. Freaking bodywash is just a brilliant way for soap companies to sell 10X as much product. 

Posted
43 minutes ago, nnm said:

Freaking bodywash makes me surly. I’m not a chick. I use soap. From a bar. I don’t need a wash rag or loofa or sponge or anything else to apply it. And it lasts twice as long and is twice as cheap. Freaking bodywash is just a brilliant way for soap companies to sell 10X as much product. 

Real men use bar soap, preferably one that has pubic hair stuck to it

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Posted
7 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Real men use bar soap, preferably one that has pubic hair stuck to it

Matches the 20 pubes in the moldy loofa/washrag used to apply bodywash. 

Posted

Fucking glitter on/in greeting cards. Who in the government do I have to write to, to stop this shit. When I ordered Christmas cards this year I specifically tried to get a pattern that looked like it didn't have glitter. Well fuck me if they aren't covered in glitter anyway. Between the Christmas cards people send me, and the ones I'm sending out, I'll need a hazmat team to get all the glitter spooge from out of my house.

 

 

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Posted
32 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

Between the Christmas cards people send me, and the ones I'm sending out, I'll need a hazmat team to get all the glitter spooge from out of my house.

Throw them away at the mailbox. No need to bring that into the house.

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Posted
Two elementary school kids on online school cause of the ‘rona and I am on home office 2-3 days a week to keep numbers in the office down.   No school lunches and no work lunches means a hell of a lot more cooking and dirty dishes, especially because we aren’t barbarians and refuse to do the paper plate thing.
I feel like half my life is doing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. I get a twitch in my eye if I see one of the girls get a new water glass instead of keeping it all day.

Paper plates are great.
Posted
On 12/14/2020 at 10:46 AM, SwanderedTalent said:

when you're driving cautiously in a parking lot, manage to surprise a pedestrian who's not paying attention, and they give you a dirty look like you're driving like a maniac and almost ran them over

because that makes me WANT to run them over but at that point I feel like I've missed my best chance and now you're talking about driving through the front door at HEB to catch them from behind

and that seems like too much effort

I had the reverse yesterday at HEB. Big truck unloading those jugs for the water machine causing a blind spot along the front. I see a big Lexus SUV driving towards it just a little bit faster than I’d be driving, so I was cautious as I popped around...had I not noticed it first and rounded the water truck like I pretty much normally would have, I’d have been hit hard enough to care.

The lady gave me an embarrassed smile and wave. I was carry shit and in a mask so could only muster a squint and head nod.

 

Posted
On 12/6/2020 at 1:26 AM, ztejas said:

Tangential but fits the thread. I've been driving Lyft and Uber a lot lately because I don't feel like getting a "real" job right now/yet/maybe ever. 

I have done hundreds of rides and received almost as many ratings. I have received nothing other than 5 stars for every single rating except for one. One fucking person on Uber gave me a 1 star rating. I don't know why or who it was. 

I don't REALLY care because (to the thread title) it is extremely trivial - but man I'd be lying if I said it didn't annoy me. It would probably annoy me less if I had a mix of ratings but I sit there and check my shit occasionally and it's still just that one God damn rating getting in the way of perfection.

If you’re in Dallas and have an ultra strict no beverage policy, it was me a few weeks ago.

Now, I’m cool with the policy if they feel like they need it. If I’m swilling a to go beer at 2:15 and you’re dropping me at Waffle House, stand firm. Rules are rules. If you’re picking me up outside a hotel at 8am for a morning of meetings, dressed in office attire, and wearing a watch that’s worth more than the car I’m about to get in...take a context clue and be flexible. Ultimately it’s up to the driver, but if I’m ditching this coffee and he’s a dick about it...that’s 1 star and part of his tip is replacing the coffee 11 minutes from now. Driver’s choice.

 

Posted
On 12/6/2020 at 1:26 AM, ztejas said:

Tangential but fits the thread. I've been driving Lyft and Uber a lot lately because I don't feel like getting a "real" job right now/yet/maybe ever. 

I have done hundreds of rides and received almost as many ratings. I have received nothing other than 5 stars for every single rating except for one. One fucking person on Uber gave me a 1 star rating. I don't know why or who it was. 

I don't REALLY care because (to the thread title) it is extremely trivial - but man I'd be lying if I said it didn't annoy me. It would probably annoy me less if I had a mix of ratings but I sit there and check my shit occasionally and it's still just that one God damn rating getting in the way of perfection.

I told you, I fucking hate the Eagles, man. 

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Posted

If you watch is really that expensive why don't you have a private limo?  I guess when you're cool and drop a bunch of money on a watch, and then tell every one you meet how much it cost, rules don't apply to you.  If I was driving I would have dropped you somewhere you could have made an unplanned donation of your watch.

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Posted

QB hit as he throws it, ball goes backwards. There’s always a few idiots saying “I think his arm was going forward, incomplete pass!” If the ball goes backwards, it’s either a fumble or a backwards pass. Live ball either way, you hopelessly stupid piece of shit. 

Posted
2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If you watch is really that expensive why don't you have a private limo?  I guess when you're cool and drop a bunch of money on a watch, and then tell every one you meet how much it cost, rules don't apply to you.  If I was driving I would have dropped you somewhere you could have made an unplanned donation of your watch.

Point of order, it was a really shitty car.

 

Posted
18 hours ago, Helobious said:

QB hit as he throws it, ball goes backwards. There’s always a few idiots saying “I think his arm was going forward, incomplete pass!” If the ball goes backwards, it’s either a fumble or a backwards pass. Live ball either way, you hopelessly stupid piece of shit. 

Not if the ball is in his hand as his arm is going forward.

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