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Gottdam giant SUVs always pull into the empty parking spots right next to me - every single damn time. Never a Corolla or Civic.

It’s like sitting in a narrow gorge canyon and makes opening my car doors a tight operation to squeeze in & out.

 

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

World Chase Tag. NBCsports is televising a bunch of idiots playing tag. This despite college football, college basketball and I'm sure some type of soccer being played. This is no Channel for Old Men. Sometimes we don't deserved to be free.

 

Yeah, Yeah. I know I can change the channel and did. But that's what this thread is for. Stupid trivial shit. 

QB hit as he throws it, ball goes backwards. There’s always a few idiots saying “I think his arm was going forward, incomplete pass!” If the ball goes backwards, it’s either a fumble or a backwards pass. Live ball either way, you hopelessly stupid piece of shit. 
It's like rain on your wedding day...

Dummies that insist on saying “joo-ler-ee”  instead of “joo-wel-ree.”

Cretins.  

When you make an obvious stop/ yield right of way, trying to convey courtesy and caution...
 
and they fucking piddle their way across in front of you.  Gotdammit, move your ass, motherfucker... my good nature is not infinite.
Anyone not moving their ass to get out of the way in parking lots make me surly. Completely oblivious to their surroundings with no fucks given.
  • Author
2 hours ago, Okie State said:

Anyone not moving their ass to get out of the way in parking lots make me surly. Completely oblivious to their surroundings with no fucks given.

people waddling slowly down the middle of the lane in the parking lot rageemoji.png

19 minutes ago, elfenix said:

people waddling slowly down the middle of the lane in the parking lot rageemoji.png

People that slowly waddle. 

4 hours ago, deadshank said:

Dummies that insist on saying “joo-ler-ee”  instead of “joo-wel-ree.”

Cretins.  

I've always been partial to the Free Soviet jewelry movement.

8 hours ago, deadshank said:

Dummies that insist on saying “joo-ler-ee”  instead of “joo-wel-ree.”

Cretins.  

@deadshank

jool-ree

Edited by Lone Star Horn

Staying on South Padre Island (not making me surly).  Several cross streets are named after planets in this order, driving north from the causeway:

Saturn

Venus

Jupiter 

Mars

Would it have been that damn hard to put them in the correct order? Makes my OCD kick in every time I pass them. 

When I'm playing a FPS. Have a perfectly lined up shot, and a teammate comes charging across the screen into the line of fire and gets TKed. 😒

9 hours ago, Lone Star Horn said:

@deadshank

jool-ree

jooree. One syllable. 

Source: Appalachian family for whom the word refers to cubic zirconia at the high end, and hand cuffs or zip ties in reality. 

9 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Staying on South Padre Island (not making me surly).  Several cross streets are named after planets in this order, driving north from the causeway:

Saturn

Venus

Jupiter 

Mars

Would it have been that damn hard to put them in the correct order? Makes my OCD kick in every time I pass them. 

Careful on Uranus street. 

On 12/16/2020 at 6:28 AM, VolenteHawk said:

If you’re in Dallas and have an ultra strict no beverage policy, it was me a few weeks ago.

Now, I’m cool with the policy if they feel like they need it. If I’m swilling a to go beer at 2:15 and you’re dropping me at Waffle House, stand firm. Rules are rules. If you’re picking me up outside a hotel at 8am for a morning of meetings, dressed in office attire, and wearing a watch that’s worth more than the car I’m about to get in...take a context clue and be flexible. Ultimately it’s up to the driver, but if I’m ditching this coffee and he’s a dick about it...that’s 1 star and part of his tip is replacing the coffee 11 minutes from now. Driver’s choice.

 

can afford expensive watch but not manners...

Typical.

17 hours ago, deadshank said:

People that slowly waddle. 

"Who's that waddlin down the street?
It's just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!
Every picture of me's
Gotta be an aerial view"

Trying to put fresh produce in the little plastic bags at HEB, but not being able to get the bag open because you’re wearing a mask and can’t lick your fingertip.

40 minutes ago, Player said:

Trying to put fresh produce in the little plastic bags at HEB, but not being able to get the bag open because you’re wearing a mask and can’t lick your fingertip.

Two hacks:

1) Go over by the produce that has the misting on it. There’s always condensation you can use to wet your fingers. 
2) Wet your fingers by moving your mask and licking your fingers. It has the added benefit of freaking out the Karens around you. 

11 minutes ago, nnm said:

Two hacks:

1) Go over by the produce that has the misting on it. There’s always condensation you can use to wet your fingers. 
2) Wet your fingers by moving your mask and licking your fingers. It has the added benefit of freaking out the Karens around you. 

3. Run two fingers real quick up and down your ass-crack, smile at people while you do this. 

Edited by 956 Worldwide

5 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

3. Run two fingers real quick up and down your ass-crack, smile at people while you do this. 

3a. Run two fingers real quick up and down the nearest person to you's ass-crack. Smile at them while you do this.

7 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

3. Run two fingers real quick up and down your ass-crack, smile at people while you do this. 

MadWindingCrocodileskink.webp

On 12/19/2020 at 12:19 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Maybe they’re talking about the place where Jesus diex

Too bad the Calvary didn't save him in time.

That’s a Herrod pun.

Edited by Armybrat

Lazy ass mofos that don’t pick up after themselves.  Just got up and walked away with a trash can 5 feet away.   
 

I hope your Christmas sucks, Ahole. 

547E6D0A-78D5-40DA-848B-6B72F252AB1B.jpeg

On 12/17/2020 at 10:40 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

When the wife or daughter eat a bowl of cereal at night and the next morning there is a bowl with dried milk in it on the counter.

 

Or worse, sitting on the lamp stand next to the chair in front of the TV.

@hornian can fix that for you

5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Too bad the Calvary didn't save him in time.

I think you mean these guys...  The Judean suicide squad.

Unknown-3.jpeg

Unknown-2.jpeg

  • Author
59 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Lazy ass mofos that don’t pick up after themselves.  Just got up and walked away with a trash can 5 feet away.   
 

I hope your Christmas sucks, Ahole. 

547E6D0A-78D5-40DA-848B-6B72F252AB1B.jpeg

you have human rights. you also have human responsibilities.  one of those is to clean up after yourself.  and your dog. 

Edited by elfenix

Call people out on that shit. Politely so it leaves them a graceful exit, framed in a way that makes it seem you’re confident they will do the right thing.

”Hey sir, I think you forgot to throw that away.”

”Ma’am, did you notice this is an express checkout.”

Not worth escalating beyond that for sure, but it is worth making an asshole come to grips with who they are if even for a moment. 

Edited by 956 Worldwide

26 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I think you mean these guys...  The Judean suicide squad.

SPLITTERS!

Two hacks:
1) Go over by the produce that has the misting on it. There’s always condensation you can use to wet your fingers. 
2) Wet your fingers by moving your mask and licking your fingers. It has the added benefit of freaking out the Karens around you. 

I’ve started getting 4 or 5 bags at once and opening them while my hands are still wet from the foam sanitizer.

Or keep the wipe/towel used to wipe down cart handle.  

2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Lazy ass mofos that don’t pick up after themselves.  Just got up and walked away with a trash can 5 feet away.   
 

I hope your Christmas sucks, Ahole. 

547E6D0A-78D5-40DA-848B-6B72F252AB1B.jpeg

Something wrong with that Coke Zero.

26 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Something wrong with that Coke Zero.

Yeah, it's filled with the jizz from Gritty.  Fuck Around and Find Out. 

On 12/17/2020 at 10:40 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

When the wife or daughter eat a bowl of cereal at night and the next morning there is a bowl with dried milk in it on the counter.

 

Or worse, sitting on the lamp stand next to the chair in front of the TV.

that's not milk

Two hacks:
1) Go over by the produce that has the misting on it. There’s always condensation you can use to wet your fingers. 
2) Wet your fingers by moving your mask and licking your fingers. It has the added benefit of freaking out the Karens around you. 

#1 is what I do.

I’ll try #2 next time I see a Karen in the produce section.

Emotional support dogs.  There are 3 boarding my flight leg from Love to NC 

WTH?  Real deal or hoax? The people look eerily normal.  What gives?

Edited by deadshank

Lazy ass mofos that don’t pick up after themselves.  Just got up and walked away with a trash can 5 feet away.   
 
I hope your Christmas sucks, Ahole. 
547E6D0A-78D5-40DA-848B-6B72F252AB1B.thumb.jpeg.1ec6649c0ce1ef14e9d138109083bd65.jpeg
I stop and point this shit out to my kids. See those people? They're pigs. Don't be a pig.

Now they point it out to me when they see it so mission accomplished.
3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Emotional support dogs.  There are 3 boarding my flight leg from Love to NC 

WTH?  Real deal or hoax? The people look eerily normal.  What gives?

fucking stupid hoax.

7 hours ago, deadshank said:

Emotional support dogs.  There are 3 boarding my flight leg from Love to NC 

WTH?  Real deal or hoax? The people look eerily normal.  What gives?

Not Trivial!!!!

Fuck that shit. Get that shit out of here. If you can't survive a few hour flight without it, stay home.

Thank god the regs changed just this month and many airlines are banning them completely:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelgoldstein/2020/12/04/airlines-get-dot-ban-on-emotional-support-animals-for-now/?sh=633d9e033f9f

The ban on emotional support animals in 2021 alone is enough to call the entire year a win.

GTFO here with your emotional support animals.

5 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

What about emotional support sex dolls?

Mile High club FTW

Why is it so fucking hard to make simple plans for a meeting or event with some people? I'm a "meet at location X at time Y" kind of guy. I'm reasonably flexible on time and location, so if what I suggest doesn't work for the other party, I'm cool with that -- but then it's incumbent on them to propose a SPECIFIC alternative time and/or location. Some people act like divulging their schedules and itinerary, or agreeing to a simple appointment, would be a breach to fucking national security.

 

6 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

Why is it so fucking hard to make simple plans for a meeting or event with some people? I'm a "meet at location X at time Y" kind of guy. I'm reasonably flexible on time and location, so if what I suggest doesn't work for the other party, I'm cool with that -- but then it's incumbent on them to propose a SPECIFIC alternative time and/or location. Some people act like divulging their schedules and itinerary, or agreeing to a simple appointment, would be a breach to fucking national security.

 

Maybe they just don't like you ?

6 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

Why is it so fucking hard to make simple plans for a meeting or event with some people? I'm a "meet at location X at time Y" kind of guy. I'm reasonably flexible on time and location, so if what I suggest doesn't work for the other party, I'm cool with that -- but then it's incumbent on them to propose a SPECIFIC alternative time and/or location. Some people act like divulging their schedules and itinerary, or agreeing to a simple appointment, would be a breach to fucking national security.

 

Can I get back to you some other time on this?

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