Jump to content

Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

Posted
Posted

This is an old one, but it's still in play and a friend of mine has a solution.

When somebody says they are going to "reach out" to you, or is known to say that frequently, reply with something like "Yeah, I'll reach around when I have the facts." Follow up with "Hey I reached around yesterday but didn't hear back." Play dumb, of course. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 19.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

Posted Images

Superhero

Superhero 8834

Posted
Posted

When you break your toe while playing with your kids.

I was squatting between my kids - playing mastermind with my daughter on my left, putting together a LEGO set with my son on my right. I pivoted from one kid to the other, and my pinky toe decides to stay put. I heard a loud POP. At first I thought it was just dislocated it because it was pointing west, but wrapping an ice pack on it on the way to urgent care, it decided to move back to its rightful position.

The doc found a hairline fracture and put me in a boot. Thankfully it's pretty minor and I'll only hobble around for the next 3-4 weeks. But lemme tell you, right now it hurts like a mofo and I need a drink or three to ease the pain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36564

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Superhero said:

When you break your toe while playing with your kids.

I was squatting between my kids - playing mastermind with my daughter on my left, putting together a LEGO set with my son on my right. I pivoted from one kid to the other, and my pinky toe decides to stay put. I heard a loud POP. At first I thought it was just dislocated it because it was pointing west, but wrapping an ice pack on it on the way to urgent care, it decided to move back to its rightful position.

The doc found a hairline fracture and put me in a boot. Thankfully it's pretty minor and I'll only hobble around for the next 3-4 weeks. But lemme tell you, right now it hurts like a mofo and I need a drink or three to ease the pain.

You might want to talk to someone about your codeine dependence. Self-harm to get pain meds is a red flag. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Superhero

Superhero 8834

Posted
Posted (edited)

When I've worked my ass off to get the Seattle team a $200M job, and they say "Thanks, we've got it from here".

Then come back 2 days before Christmas and say "Can you help us get it done before the end of the year?"

So I shorten my vacation, and finish it, then come to find out they've all taken the whole fucking week off.

 

Okay, that's not trivial, and doesn't make me just a bit surly. I'm fucking pissed off.

Edited by Superhero
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 3
  • Rage+1 3
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hunt Stevenson

Hunt Stevenson 41

Posted
Posted

Been parking in street the last month since all Christmas decoration boxes are in garage instead of attic.  Some asshole busted the window on my trunk.  Tried to get into my console vault where I had two pistols.  Failed.  So they stole about $3 worth of change.  Paid the $400 and safelite mobile supposed to fix Monday.  I’m telling myself it happened before midnight and in 2020

  • Rage+1 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bevo&Pevo

Bevo&Pevo 5217

Posted
Posted
On 12/31/2020 at 11:07 AM, Superhero said:

When I've worked my ass off to get the Seattle team a $200M job, and they say "Thanks, we've got it from here".

Then come back 2 days before Christmas and say "Can you help us get it done before the end of the year?"

So I shorten my vacation, and finish it, then come to find out they've all taken the whole fucking week off.

 

Okay, that's not trivial, and doesn't make me just a bit surly. I'm fucking pissed off.

But that is why you ARE the Superhero.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Maybe this is more ‘trivial things that make you ask WTF?’

At a restaurant and order a schooner of Shiner Bock.  Waitress brings it momentarily...

 

 

 

with a straw, still wrapped in the paper.  Why?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Superhero

Superhero 8834

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, slorch said:

Maybe this is more ‘trivial things that make you ask WTF?’

At a restaurant and order a schooner of Shiner Bock.  Waitress brings it momentarily...

 

 

 

with a straw, still wrapped in the paper.  Why?

She didn't want your lipstick to smear on the glass.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21100

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

And the fucking thing always wipes out your (very difficult to find and/or satisfactorily set) preferences each time it updates. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36564

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

And that algorithm is wack anyway. I continually get stories about which I haven’t the slightest interest in the “for you” section. I’ve never clicked on a link about some of those things, never lingered on such a headline, never mentioned it in a phone conversation, but that topic, whatever it happens to be, shows up repeatedly, no matter how many times I tell it I’m not interested in the royal family, or whatever crap it pulls for me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21100

Posted
Posted (edited)

That, or it somehow elects to aggressively and simultaneously notify/spoil you about the outcome of every sporting event imaginable - especially the ones happening in drastically different time zones, like Formula One. 

"Here are the unofficial results for the race that ended 15 seconds ago, delivered to you (unsolicited, of course) before the backmarkers have even crossed the finish line, but hours before the North America tape delay broadcast airs." 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Fuck Google in the goatass.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Incredulity

Incredulity 11682

Posted
Posted
On 12/31/2020 at 9:07 AM, Superhero said:

When I've worked my ass off to get the Seattle team a $200M job, and they say "Thanks, we've got it from here".

Then come back 2 days before Christmas and say "Can you help us get it done before the end of the year?"

So I shorten my vacation, and finish it, then come to find out they've all taken the whole fucking week off.

 

Okay, that's not trivial, and doesn't make me just a bit surly. I'm fucking pissed off.

Never ever again.  I have drawn the line in my career.  I am not busting ass or taking shit for motherfuckers around the holidays.  Pure fucking rage

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

Posted
Posted
On 12/28/2020 at 6:38 AM, nnm said:

You might want to talk to someone about your codeine dependence. Self-harm to get pain meds is a red flag. 

I bet we have 150+ oxy pills and the same in Tylenol III from birth of kids, to knee surgeries, to other crap from shit over the last 15 years.  I had a fistula over the summer that was extremely painful and required 3 surgeries and got a new script.  Took one oxy one time and it did not do shit for the pain.  Probably should get rid of them, but they are secured in my gun safe.  Do they go bad?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Superhero

Superhero 8834

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

I bet we have 150+ oxy pills and the same in Tylenol III from birth of kids, to knee surgeries, to other crap from shit over the last 15 years.  I had a fistula over the summer that was extremely painful and required 3 surgeries and got a new script.  Took one oxy one time and it did not do shit for the pain.  Probably should get rid of them, but they are secured in my gun safe.  Do they go bad?

Yes, and the shelf life is like 30 days.

You should offer it up to the posters in the Cloak Room (including myself) because we need to chill the f out.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36564

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

I bet we have 150+ oxy pills and the same in Tylenol III from birth of kids, to knee surgeries, to other crap from shit over the last 15 years.  I had a fistula over the summer that was extremely painful and required 3 surgeries and got a new script.  Took one oxy one time and it did not do shit for the pain.  Probably should get rid of them, but they are secured in my gun safe.  Do they go bad?

You definitely should get rid of them. As your kids get older, you don’t want that supply around, expired or not. Both for their sakes and their friends’ sakes. And you’ll be surprised at how friends, relatives, babysitters, etc., might be struggling with it and rifle through your cabinets looking for it. You don’t need that. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom

Tom 2959

Posted
Posted
On 1/3/2021 at 9:04 AM, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

 

Or when you actually show slight interest in something and click the link, you're going to get essentially the same fucking news article from every media site in existence for the next year no matter how many times you tell Google to knock it off.

Google, if you're listening, I know Mulaney went to rehab.  You don't have to send me a different media source every day telling me the exact same thing.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28797

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Tom said:

Or when you actually show slight interest in something and click the link, you're going to get essentially the same fucking news article from every media site in existence for the next year no matter how many times you tell Google to knock it off.

Google, if you're listening, I know Mulaney went to rehab.  You don't have to send me a different media source every day telling me the exact same thing.

Delete your cookies. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26438

Posted
Posted
On 1/3/2021 at 9:04 AM, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, "plate," or "shrimp," or "plate of shrimp" out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Deamerxt

Deamerxt 51

Posted
Posted

So I should blame the collective consciousness and my part within it?

Maybe. 

In that particular case it was alec baldwins fake spanish wife. I had to tell it to shut up for 5 or 6 days on that one. I never clicked a link. I don't care. It was the fact it seemed to think I should care for some reason. That's what really annoyed the piss out of me there.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34746

Posted
Posted

Helped my parents move some lightly used furniture from a friend’s condo into my parents’ SPI rental property and get rid of the old stuff.  I absolutely don’t mind, they are letting us stay in the place for a long time at the Christmas break.....but moving furniture with my 60+ parents is a damn beating.  I tried to do all I could by myself so dad didn’t have to lift too much. Lots of help and pointers from mom.

While wrangling a coffee table by myself out of a doorway:

”Do you think that can fit in the elevator?” (Grunt from me). “Hey, did you hear me? Do you think it will fit in the elevator?” (Walking it down the narrow hall). “Are you putting it in the elevator?”

With dad, trying to ease a sleeper sofa through a door and around a corner:

”You need to watch that corner. I think that might be where it will get stuck. Are you watching the corner? Should it go sideways?” Etc.......

Never talk to a man lifting heavy shit unless it’s a matter of safety. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36564

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

So I should blame the collective consciousness and my part within it?

Maybe. 

In that particular case it was alec baldwins fake spanish wife. I had to tell it to shut up for 5 or 6 days on that one. I never clicked a link. I don't care. It was the fact it seemed to think I should care for some reason. That's what really annoyed the piss out of me there.

What’s worse is the 10th or 20th time that inane story pops up, you think, “oh what the hell, I might as well look,” and open it in an incognito window. Snap! They got you. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 6065

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

I got talked into adopting a cat.  

I've never seen anything like it before in my life.  I'm jumping through fewer hoops to refinance my house.  An effing home visit?  What do they expect to find?  A cat processing facility.  I actually had to answer the question, "Where is the cat going to sleep?"  Fuck if I know.  It's a cat.  I just had to call my vet to give them an ok to release our current pet's medical information.  I'm not trying to be a bitch and I get that some animals mistakenly get placed in shitty homes, but it's a rescue cat.  The fact that I'm probably going to have to pay $100+ should be enough of a qualification to let you know it's not going to be eaten.

  • Hook 'Em 3
  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10087

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I got talked into adopting a cat.  

I've never seen anything like it before in my life.  I'm jumping through fewer hoops to refinance my house.  An effing home visit?  What do they expect to find?  A cat processing facility.  I actually had to answer the question, "Where is the cat going to sleep?"  Fuck if I know.  It's a cat.  I just had to call my vet to give them an ok to release our current pet's medical information.  I'm not trying to be a bitch and I get that some animals mistakenly get placed in shitty homes, but it's a rescue cat.  The fact that I'm probably going to have to pay $100+ should be enough of a qualification to let you know it's not going to be eaten.

When I adopted a dog for my mom during a clear the shelter event, they were worried that a city dog might have trouble in the country. I had to let them talk to my mom and show pictures of where she would be staying. Nevermind that she was going from a shelter to 100 acres with her own doghouse and home cooked meals.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Patricio Swayze

Patricio Swayze 17058

Posted
Posted

I have lived in my house for 6 years. My neighbor, an elementary school teacher, can not understand/remember that my family speaks Portuguese. Anytime we have a conversation and anything related comes up she comments about us speaking Spanish. I have corrected her 37 times. Even within the same conversation I correct yet she can not grasp that Portuguese and Spanish are different languages.

  • Hook 'Em 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...