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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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This is an old one, but it's still in play and a friend of mine has a solution.

When somebody says they are going to "reach out" to you, or is known to say that frequently, reply with something like "Yeah, I'll reach around when I have the facts." Follow up with "Hey I reached around yesterday but didn't hear back." Play dumb, of course. 

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Superhero

Superhero 8696

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When you break your toe while playing with your kids.

I was squatting between my kids - playing mastermind with my daughter on my left, putting together a LEGO set with my son on my right. I pivoted from one kid to the other, and my pinky toe decides to stay put. I heard a loud POP. At first I thought it was just dislocated it because it was pointing west, but wrapping an ice pack on it on the way to urgent care, it decided to move back to its rightful position.

The doc found a hairline fracture and put me in a boot. Thankfully it's pretty minor and I'll only hobble around for the next 3-4 weeks. But lemme tell you, right now it hurts like a mofo and I need a drink or three to ease the pain.

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nnm

nnm 35883

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6 hours ago, Superhero said:

When you break your toe while playing with your kids.

I was squatting between my kids - playing mastermind with my daughter on my left, putting together a LEGO set with my son on my right. I pivoted from one kid to the other, and my pinky toe decides to stay put. I heard a loud POP. At first I thought it was just dislocated it because it was pointing west, but wrapping an ice pack on it on the way to urgent care, it decided to move back to its rightful position.

The doc found a hairline fracture and put me in a boot. Thankfully it's pretty minor and I'll only hobble around for the next 3-4 weeks. But lemme tell you, right now it hurts like a mofo and I need a drink or three to ease the pain.

You might want to talk to someone about your codeine dependence. Self-harm to get pain meds is a red flag. 

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Superhero

Superhero 8696

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When I've worked my ass off to get the Seattle team a $200M job, and they say "Thanks, we've got it from here".

Then come back 2 days before Christmas and say "Can you help us get it done before the end of the year?"

So I shorten my vacation, and finish it, then come to find out they've all taken the whole fucking week off.

 

Okay, that's not trivial, and doesn't make me just a bit surly. I'm fucking pissed off.

Edited by Superhero
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Hunt Stevenson

Hunt Stevenson 41

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Been parking in street the last month since all Christmas decoration boxes are in garage instead of attic.  Some asshole busted the window on my trunk.  Tried to get into my console vault where I had two pistols.  Failed.  So they stole about $3 worth of change.  Paid the $400 and safelite mobile supposed to fix Monday.  I’m telling myself it happened before midnight and in 2020

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Bevo&Pevo

Bevo&Pevo 4999

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On 12/31/2020 at 11:07 AM, Superhero said:

When I've worked my ass off to get the Seattle team a $200M job, and they say "Thanks, we've got it from here".

Then come back 2 days before Christmas and say "Can you help us get it done before the end of the year?"

So I shorten my vacation, and finish it, then come to find out they've all taken the whole fucking week off.

 

Okay, that's not trivial, and doesn't make me just a bit surly. I'm fucking pissed off.

But that is why you ARE the Superhero.  

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Guest

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Maybe this is more ‘trivial things that make you ask WTF?’

At a restaurant and order a schooner of Shiner Bock.  Waitress brings it momentarily...

 

 

 

with a straw, still wrapped in the paper.  Why?

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Superhero

Superhero 8696

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2 hours ago, slorch said:

Maybe this is more ‘trivial things that make you ask WTF?’

At a restaurant and order a schooner of Shiner Bock.  Waitress brings it momentarily...

 

 

 

with a straw, still wrapped in the paper.  Why?

She didn't want your lipstick to smear on the glass.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20954

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6 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

And the fucking thing always wipes out your (very difficult to find and/or satisfactorily set) preferences each time it updates. 

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nnm

nnm 35883

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6 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

And that algorithm is wack anyway. I continually get stories about which I haven’t the slightest interest in the “for you” section. I’ve never clicked on a link about some of those things, never lingered on such a headline, never mentioned it in a phone conversation, but that topic, whatever it happens to be, shows up repeatedly, no matter how many times I tell it I’m not interested in the royal family, or whatever crap it pulls for me. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20954

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That, or it somehow elects to aggressively and simultaneously notify/spoil you about the outcome of every sporting event imaginable - especially the ones happening in drastically different time zones, like Formula One. 

"Here are the unofficial results for the race that ended 15 seconds ago, delivered to you (unsolicited, of course) before the backmarkers have even crossed the finish line, but hours before the North America tape delay broadcast airs." 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Fuck Google in the goatass.
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Incredulity

Incredulity 11431

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On 12/31/2020 at 9:07 AM, Superhero said:

When I've worked my ass off to get the Seattle team a $200M job, and they say "Thanks, we've got it from here".

Then come back 2 days before Christmas and say "Can you help us get it done before the end of the year?"

So I shorten my vacation, and finish it, then come to find out they've all taken the whole fucking week off.

 

Okay, that's not trivial, and doesn't make me just a bit surly. I'm fucking pissed off.

Never ever again.  I have drawn the line in my career.  I am not busting ass or taking shit for motherfuckers around the holidays.  Pure fucking rage

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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On 12/28/2020 at 6:38 AM, nnm said:

You might want to talk to someone about your codeine dependence. Self-harm to get pain meds is a red flag. 

I bet we have 150+ oxy pills and the same in Tylenol III from birth of kids, to knee surgeries, to other crap from shit over the last 15 years.  I had a fistula over the summer that was extremely painful and required 3 surgeries and got a new script.  Took one oxy one time and it did not do shit for the pain.  Probably should get rid of them, but they are secured in my gun safe.  Do they go bad?

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Superhero

Superhero 8696

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3 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

I bet we have 150+ oxy pills and the same in Tylenol III from birth of kids, to knee surgeries, to other crap from shit over the last 15 years.  I had a fistula over the summer that was extremely painful and required 3 surgeries and got a new script.  Took one oxy one time and it did not do shit for the pain.  Probably should get rid of them, but they are secured in my gun safe.  Do they go bad?

Yes, and the shelf life is like 30 days.

You should offer it up to the posters in the Cloak Room (including myself) because we need to chill the f out.

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nnm

nnm 35883

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10 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

I bet we have 150+ oxy pills and the same in Tylenol III from birth of kids, to knee surgeries, to other crap from shit over the last 15 years.  I had a fistula over the summer that was extremely painful and required 3 surgeries and got a new script.  Took one oxy one time and it did not do shit for the pain.  Probably should get rid of them, but they are secured in my gun safe.  Do they go bad?

You definitely should get rid of them. As your kids get older, you don’t want that supply around, expired or not. Both for their sakes and their friends’ sakes. And you’ll be surprised at how friends, relatives, babysitters, etc., might be struggling with it and rifle through your cabinets looking for it. You don’t need that. 

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Tom

Tom 2959

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On 1/3/2021 at 9:04 AM, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

 

Or when you actually show slight interest in something and click the link, you're going to get essentially the same fucking news article from every media site in existence for the next year no matter how many times you tell Google to knock it off.

Google, if you're listening, I know Mulaney went to rehab.  You don't have to send me a different media source every day telling me the exact same thing.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28696

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4 hours ago, Tom said:

Or when you actually show slight interest in something and click the link, you're going to get essentially the same fucking news article from every media site in existence for the next year no matter how many times you tell Google to knock it off.

Google, if you're listening, I know Mulaney went to rehab.  You don't have to send me a different media source every day telling me the exact same thing.

Delete your cookies. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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On 1/3/2021 at 9:04 AM, Deamerxt said:

Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"!

Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes. 

A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, "plate," or "shrimp," or "plate of shrimp" out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.

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Deamerxt

Deamerxt 51

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So I should blame the collective consciousness and my part within it?

Maybe. 

In that particular case it was alec baldwins fake spanish wife. I had to tell it to shut up for 5 or 6 days on that one. I never clicked a link. I don't care. It was the fact it seemed to think I should care for some reason. That's what really annoyed the piss out of me there.

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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34231

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Helped my parents move some lightly used furniture from a friend’s condo into my parents’ SPI rental property and get rid of the old stuff.  I absolutely don’t mind, they are letting us stay in the place for a long time at the Christmas break.....but moving furniture with my 60+ parents is a damn beating.  I tried to do all I could by myself so dad didn’t have to lift too much. Lots of help and pointers from mom.

While wrangling a coffee table by myself out of a doorway:

”Do you think that can fit in the elevator?” (Grunt from me). “Hey, did you hear me? Do you think it will fit in the elevator?” (Walking it down the narrow hall). “Are you putting it in the elevator?”

With dad, trying to ease a sleeper sofa through a door and around a corner:

”You need to watch that corner. I think that might be where it will get stuck. Are you watching the corner? Should it go sideways?” Etc.......

Never talk to a man lifting heavy shit unless it’s a matter of safety. 

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nnm

nnm 35883

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8 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

So I should blame the collective consciousness and my part within it?

Maybe. 

In that particular case it was alec baldwins fake spanish wife. I had to tell it to shut up for 5 or 6 days on that one. I never clicked a link. I don't care. It was the fact it seemed to think I should care for some reason. That's what really annoyed the piss out of me there.

What’s worse is the 10th or 20th time that inane story pops up, you think, “oh what the hell, I might as well look,” and open it in an incognito window. Snap! They got you. 

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5918

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I got talked into adopting a cat.  

I've never seen anything like it before in my life.  I'm jumping through fewer hoops to refinance my house.  An effing home visit?  What do they expect to find?  A cat processing facility.  I actually had to answer the question, "Where is the cat going to sleep?"  Fuck if I know.  It's a cat.  I just had to call my vet to give them an ok to release our current pet's medical information.  I'm not trying to be a bitch and I get that some animals mistakenly get placed in shitty homes, but it's a rescue cat.  The fact that I'm probably going to have to pay $100+ should be enough of a qualification to let you know it's not going to be eaten.

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10081

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22 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I got talked into adopting a cat.  

I've never seen anything like it before in my life.  I'm jumping through fewer hoops to refinance my house.  An effing home visit?  What do they expect to find?  A cat processing facility.  I actually had to answer the question, "Where is the cat going to sleep?"  Fuck if I know.  It's a cat.  I just had to call my vet to give them an ok to release our current pet's medical information.  I'm not trying to be a bitch and I get that some animals mistakenly get placed in shitty homes, but it's a rescue cat.  The fact that I'm probably going to have to pay $100+ should be enough of a qualification to let you know it's not going to be eaten.

When I adopted a dog for my mom during a clear the shelter event, they were worried that a city dog might have trouble in the country. I had to let them talk to my mom and show pictures of where she would be staying. Nevermind that she was going from a shelter to 100 acres with her own doghouse and home cooked meals.

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Patricio Swayze

Patricio Swayze 17058

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I have lived in my house for 6 years. My neighbor, an elementary school teacher, can not understand/remember that my family speaks Portuguese. Anytime we have a conversation and anything related comes up she comments about us speaking Spanish. I have corrected her 37 times. Even within the same conversation I correct yet she can not grasp that Portuguese and Spanish are different languages.

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