Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Jameslaw121 4440]

^^^^ fuck me. I fixed it

[skipperj 377]

Egg for sell.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8791]

People throwing away things other than paper towels in the bin for the paper towels that is combined with the paper towel dispenser.  

Ah, here is where I will dispose of my cardboard box.

This is a great one. We have charter buses with bathrooms that have the small bin made for moist towelettes and tp wrappers...not McDonalds bags and your large cup that take up 80% of the space. Fuckheads

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 hour ago, skipperj said:

Egg for sell.

Scentcy for sell.

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

I've determined I can hold my breath underwater for close to a minute,  but when I walk into a foul smelling public bathroom I can only hold it for about 15 seconds.   Wtf.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Every idiot who has an MBA puts those letters next to their name on every correspondence.

I give ZERO fucks that you paid 10 grand to Strayer University to get your MBA online. 

Hospital employees are the worst.  The will put about ten different abbreviations on their email signature.  RN, CRNA, CPR Certified, etc.

[Guest Lobo]

Speaking of bathrooms, I don't understand people that keep their toothbrush out on the counter (or in a cup on the counter) right by their toilet.  

Physics, how do they work?  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

People that don’t have a separate enclosure for the toilet

[Blotto 23366]

Motherfucking mongoloids that can't chew with their mouth closed. Sitting at Pluckers watching the World Cup game earlier and some fresh off the boat Long Duck Dong motherfucker squeezes into a spot next to me and starts eating wings with a fucking fork. Over the sound of a World Cup game in a sports bar, I could here this dude eating food. Sounded like the Houston 500 over there. 

[tx ind 6985]

Hate when I’m walking through H-E-B or Home Depot and someone is trying to sell me some new windows or get me to change electric companies or some other shit. Fuck y’all, I want to be able to grab my beer or fertilizer or whatever without being bothered by your solicitation.

[ChickenSandwich 9791]

Every car wash sales guy ever. 

Looking at you Genie Lamar. It’s fucking assault. 

[mycox 582]

Bar etiquette for the ladies.. Don't put your purse on an empty bar stool next to you. This happens way too often.

Edited July 1, 2018 by mycox

[MNLonghornFUKM 8791]

dumbfucks lighting artillery shells at 10:30 5 days before the fourth, fuck off. i hope the wind knocks it over and fires it right at you.

[Vic Mackey 46848]

2 things here. First off, this dumb bitch does not need this motorized cart. She isn't handicapped. She's just a fat slob taking up the already narrow aisle space.

Second, why does the whole entire family need to go shopping? And this isn't even all of them. They take up the entire aisle and just being fucking annoying.

[PhillyD 1257]

Good God, what kind of ghetto is that?

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

dumbfucks lighting artillery shells at 10:30 5 days before the fourth, fuck off. i hope the wind knocks it over and fires it right at you.

Before 11 pm on a weekend? Suck it up and deal with it, comrade. 

[markstanco 12463]

Hospital employees are the worst.  The will put about ten different abbreviations on their email signature.  RN, CRNA, CPR Certified, etc.

I have a vendor that has no fewer that 100 words in his email signature. I'll try to remember and post it next week with the blur.

[Vic Mackey 46848]

Good God, what kind of ghetto is that?

El Rancho in East Dallas.

[SilasCoade 2620]

6 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Before 11 pm on a weekend? Suck it up and deal with it, comrade. 

11pm is the cutoff? Fuck you.

[I Plead Da Fif 240]

On 5/22/2018 at 6:54 PM, Celery Man said:

I’m talmbat the kitchen ones that make soft square ice

Fify

Edited July 1, 2018 by I Plead Da Fif

[elfenix 34161]

12 hours ago, mycox said:

Bar etiquette for the ladies.. Don't put your purse on an empty bar stool next to you. This happens way too often.

she's doing that so you don't sit there.

[Redneck Mutha 7881]

On 6/29/2018 at 12:39 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

On 6/27/2018 at 10:30 PM, Celery Man said:

People throwing away things other than paper towels in the bin for the paper towels that is combined with the paper towel dispenser.  

Ah, here is where I will dispose of my cardboard box.

This is a great one. We have charter buses with bathrooms that have the small bin made for moist towelettes and tp wrappers...not McDonalds bags and your large cup that take up 80% of the space. Fuckheads

On the flip side, fuck places that have small trash cans where a large one is required.  Our lunch rooms at work have cans under the counter, which have about a 10" diameter hole for the trash to fit through.  Can probably only fit about a dozen wadded up Whataburger bags into one of them.

If we have Jason's Deli trays or pizza or whatever for work meetings, there's no place for the empty boxes to go, except to sit out on the tables until the janitors roll by late in the afternoon.  

[Celery Man 20832]

24 minutes ago, Redneck Mutha said:

On the flip side, fuck places that have small trash cans where a large one is required.  Our lunch rooms at work have cans under the counter, which have about a 10" diameter hole for the trash to fit through.  Can probably only fit about a dozen wadded up Whataburger bags into one of them.

If we have Jason's Deli trays or pizza or whatever for work meetings, there's no place for the empty boxes to go, except to sit out on the tables until the janitors roll by late in the afternoon.  

Even the big ones, people fuck it up.  Hey, you got a new... monitor and it came in a bigass cardboard box.  Standing on its end, it technically fits in the one giant trash can.  Fuck you still.  Break it down, take it with you to the elevator, go down to the basement, put it in the recycling dumpster.  You can leave it next to your desk until you have a 5 minute window of time when it will be healthy for you to fucking move around for a bit.

[kopp0e 1135]

On 6/28/2018 at 12:53 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

I can't stand shredded chicken. In anything. No idea why, but it makes me stabby.

But isn't that how the chicken meat get shredded, by poking or stabbing..?

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

There's a woman in my office who walks in the door talking on her cellphone EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Loud enough so everyone in the office can hear about what her shitty little kids are doing/have done. Finish you fucking conversation in the car before you walk in FFS!!!

[TornACL 7666]

6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

There's a woman in my office who walks in the door talking on her cellphone EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Loud enough so everyone in the office can hear about what her shitty little kids are doing/have done. Finish you fucking conversation in the car before you walk in FFS!!!

It'll never happen. Some people are so afraid of being alone they can't even walk from their car to a building without talking to someone.

I feel sorry for them. Talking to people sucks.

[Guest Lobo]

7 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

There's a woman in my office who walks in the door talking on her cellphone EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Loud enough so everyone in the office can hear about what her shitty little kids are doing/have done. Finish you fucking conversation in the car before you walk in FFS!!!

Next time you're driving home or leaving home for work...really take a look at the other drivers just in your immediate neighborhood.  Between 7-9am and 4-6pm.  Peak times...Watch how many of them are texting/looking at their phone a few hundred yards from their home, with children they know on the streets, going 20-40mph.  It's insane.  It'll make you sick to your stomach.  We all do it at red lights.  We all do it when we're not moving on MoPac.  But watch how many of your friends and neighbors do it in plain sight right where you live.  They were just at home and could have easily looked at their phones.  Or they'll be home in 30 seconds and can look at their phones then.  But they can't help it, they have to be on their phones just yards from their home, where they have a great chance at hitting a kid that their kid plays with.  

[Smax 3799]

Cars with auto start/stop and it being defaulted on

In a rental pulling out of the lot into a busy street and almost get in wreck because the damn car stutters for a second starting back up.  Now I have to turn that damn thing off every time I get in the damn car

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

Pull the fuse. 

[baboso 6043]

Three fat bitches and some beaten down cuck with one of them at a restaurant Saturday night.  All three women talking loudly in a margarita fueled hen party, punctuated with the fattest one letting loose with an ear splitting cackle every minute or so.  Oblivious to people turning around and giving the stink eye.  After one particularly shrill screech, even Bill the bartender, who is usually the most chill of dudes, said "Jesus Fucking Christ."

[MNLonghornFUKM 8791]

13 hours ago, Smax said:

Cars with auto start/stop and it being defaulted on

In a rental pulling out of the lot into a busy street and almost get in wreck because the damn car stutters for a second starting back up.  Now I have to turn that damn thing off every time I get in the damn car

lmao. im not sure what to think about this new era of cars....but initial thought after finding out that these things die at stop lights and start when you proceed is its damn stupid.

[TornACL 7666]

14 hours ago, Smax said:

Cars with auto start/stop and it being defaulted on

In a rental pulling out of the lot into a busy street and almost get in wreck because the damn car stutters for a second starting back up.  Now I have to turn that damn thing off every time I get in the damn car

Somewhat related. I rented a Toyota Camry a few weeks back that had the lane assist or whatever it's called. The thing that keeps you from drifting into the other lane while you're reading Facebook while driving. At least that's the only reason I can think this "feature" is needed.

Anyway, it's pouring rain outside and every time I passed someone on the highway, I'd signal to change lanes, and then when I would start to move over the fucking car would jerk back the other way. Couple that with soaking wet roads and the first couple of times it happened it caught me by surprise and I felt like I was losing control of the car.

Finally pulled over and turned that stupid fucking shit off. Why do you need lane assist to kick in when you're actually changing lanes. Infuriating.

[Guest]

That is simultaneously funny and scary as hell.

[Okie State 3746]

Somewhat related. I rented a Toyota Camry a few weeks back that had the lane assist or whatever it's called. The thing that keeps you from drifting into the other lane while you're reading Facebook while driving. At least that's the only reason I can think this "feature" is needed.

Anyway, it's pouring rain outside and every time I passed someone on the highway, I'd signal to change lanes, and then when I would start to move over the fucking car would jerk back the other way. Couple that with soaking wet roads and the first couple of times it happened it caught me by surprise and I felt like I was losing control of the car.

Finally pulled over and turned that stupid fucking shit off. Why do you need lane assist to kick in when you're actually changing lanes. Infuriating.

Mine disangages when I turn my signal on. I still turn it off even though it's only a warning chime and not active intervention on my car.

 

Traction control has saved my ass a few times, but I find all of the other nannies useless.

[clapclapclap 9000]

"It is so peaceful and quite."

Quite what?

[AUinHsv 574]

1 hour ago, Okie State said:

Mine disangages when I turn my signal on. I still turn it off even though it's only a warning chime and not active intervention on my car.

 

Traction control has saved my ass a few times, but I find all of the other nannies useless.

On my Accord I turned lane departure off while driving home from the dealer and never regretted it

[Jersey Man10 3500]

#whitepeopleproblems

[MNLonghornFUKM 8791]

2 hours ago, TornACL said:

Somewhat related. I rented a Toyota Camry a few weeks back that had the lane assist or whatever it's called. The thing that keeps you from drifting into the other lane while you're reading Facebook while driving. At least that's the only reason I can think this "feature" is needed.

Anyway, it's pouring rain outside and every time I passed someone on the highway, I'd signal to change lanes, and then when I would start to move over the fucking car would jerk back the other way. Couple that with soaking wet roads and the first couple of times it happened it caught me by surprise and I felt like I was losing control of the car.

Finally pulled over and turned that stupid fucking shit off. Why do you need lane assist to kick in when you're actually changing lanes. Infuriating.

so you can read facebook and change lanes at the same time

[elfenix 34161]

This plane is raining on me!

 

Edit: Why is that sideways?

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

45 minutes ago, Jersey Man10 said:

#whitepeopleproblems

All problems are white people problems if you are white.

[PvilleStang 2823]

ArmyBrat?!

[Player 4575]

It’s piss.

[Brothahorn 10081]

Nose hairs. You are the goddamn VP of a international company. You make enough money for a nose hair man. I can't even pay attention to your fucked up accent because of the damn nose hairs.

[Vic Mackey 46848]

Asshole hairs while we are at it.

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

Mutant body hair is definitely one of the most underrated drawbacks to aging. 

Nose hairs that look like a cockroach antenna, ear hair that springs up overnight, eyebrow hairs that apparently live forever - it's all downhill. 

Edited July 3, 2018 by Prepuce of Doom

[Anwar Namtut 344]

People on Craiglist that don't even know what they are selling. What is a 1986 Honda Magnum?

[markstanco 12463]

4 hours ago, TornACL said:

Somewhat related. I rented a Toyota Camry a few weeks back that had the lane assist or whatever it's called. The thing that keeps you from drifting into the other lane while you're reading Facebook while driving. At least that's the only reason I can think this "feature" is needed.

Anyway, it's pouring rain outside and every time I passed someone on the highway, I'd signal to change lanes, and then when I would start to move over the fucking car would jerk back the other way. Couple that with soaking wet roads and the first couple of times it happened it caught me by surprise and I felt like I was losing control of the car.

Finally pulled over and turned that stupid fucking shit off. Why do you need lane assist to kick in when you're actually changing lanes. Infuriating.

Did not know the computer controlled the steering.  I have it in my truck, but its a vibration in my seat, that is all.  

[Okie State 3746]

Did not know the computer controlled the steering.  I have it in my truck, but its a vibration in my seat, that is all.  

I know Infiniti has the intrusive bullshit as an option. I want nothing to do with that.

[NWBuck 8536]

29 minutes ago, markstanco said:

I have it in my truck, but its a vibration in my seat, that is all.  

If your wife ever asks to borrow your truck repeatedly, I think I might know why.

[Landomatic 3813]

When you purchase a case of bottled water, which looks perfectly normal in the store, only to get it home and realize that every fucking bottle has somehow been crushed enough within the case to have none of them be able to stand up on their own individually once removed from the case.