Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Steamboat1874 4067]

Vendors that show up very early without bringing breakfast.

I have one that comes by about once a month and that assclown shows up at around 7:30 and never brings food.

[Redneck Mutha 7990]

2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Still clients.  Same client, same shit, different day.  Is it too early to start drinking?

It's never too early to drink.

you'regoddamnright.gif

[Redneck Mutha 7990]

On 7/4/2018 at 1:40 PM, immortal13 said:

In store solicitation is bullshit. I've experienced this at Lowe's, Home Depot and Best Buy. If someone comes up to you and asks if you are a homeowner, just say no. 

And when you are at Costco or Sam's and are asked who your cable provider is, always say "DirectTV".  

[immortal13 4059]

6 minutes ago, Redneck Mutha said:

And when you are at Costco or Sam's and are asked who your cable provider is, always say "DirectTV".  

Same thing at Best Buy

[skipperj 377]

Y’all don’t just shake your head at them, and continue walking?

[luke duke 6413]

I tell them that I’m Amish.

[skipperj 377]

No you don't.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

14 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Vendors that show up very early without bringing breakfast.

I have one that comes by about once a month and that assclown shows up at around 7:30 and never brings food.

Stop accepting his calls / emails. 

[Steamboat1874 4067]

5 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Stop accepting his calls / emails. 

I flat out told him he better bring breakfast on his next visit...we will see.

[Underdog 28707]

3 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

I flat out told him he better bring breakfast on his next visit...we will see.

[Steamboat1874 4067]

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

Hell it would not surprise me if that is what he brought.

[Underdog 28707]

FTR, I love those things.  

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

On 7/5/2018 at 8:27 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I've had good sex and good cheese bread. Both are equally satisfying. 

Nirvana is an admixture of these experiences.

[Gene Parmesan 4008]

People filming or taking pictures of animals at the zoo.  Look for a minute and move along.  There is no need to snap 20 photos of each animal or take any videos.  If anyone has any interest in seeing a video or picture of a gorilla they'll google it and get 10,000 better images than your vertical iphone vids/pics.

[Guest]

at a zoo, isn't the activity supposed to be looking at the animals?

 

I've seen rhinos fuck and it was mesmerizing[#thingsthatmakeyousayholyshit]

[Vic Mackey 47059]

at a zoo, isn't the activity supposed to be looking at the animals?
 
I've seen rhinos fuck and it was mesmerizing[#thingsthatmakeyousayholyshit]

Did you jerk off to it?

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Did you jerk off to it?

no.  Just tweaked my nipples a little.

 

[Okie State 3821]

People filming or taking pictures of animals at the zoo.  Look for a minute and move along.  There is no need to snap 20 photos of each animal or take any videos.  If anyone has any interest in seeing a video or picture of a gorilla they'll google it and get 10,000 better images than your vertical iphone vids/pics.

It amazes me the things people take pictures of. They'll never look at 99% of them again in their lifetime.

[Celery Man 20962]

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

[Vic Mackey 47059]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

[NorthLoop 14214]

When you go to a restaurant an hour before it closes and they're already stacking chairs and cleaning up and shit like they just locked the doors. Makes you feel like they want you to leave. Hey assholes you still got an hour. 

[Penelope 416]

3 hours ago, Okie State said:

8 hours ago, Gene Parmesan said:

People filming or taking pictures of animals at the zoo.  Look for a minute and move along.  There is no need to snap 20 photos of each animal or take any videos.  If anyone has any interest in seeing a video or picture of a gorilla they'll google it and get 10,000 better images than your vertical iphone vids/pics.

Read more  

It amazes me the things people take pictures of. They'll never look at 99% of them again in their lifetime.

This. I’m not a picture taking person for this reason. I’d rather just enjoy the moment,  then try to capture it somehow. #picturesnoonereallywantstosee

[deadshank 24653]

Idoits that can't write down a phone number without turning it into a train wreck. 

Idoit:  Hey, do you have their phone number?

Me:  Yes.  You ready?

Idoit:  Uh huh. 

Me: 7....1....3.....2...4....8.....

Idoit (interrupting):  Uh, 713, uh, what?

Me:  (dude?) OK.  7...1...3...

Idoit (interrupting):  I got that part.  7...1...2

Me:  (sigh). No.   Let me start over.  7...1...3...2...4...8

Idoit (interrupting and repeating): 7...1...3...2...4...8??

(long pause)

Me:  7...7...6...5

Idoit:  2...4...8...7...7...6...2?

Me:  No. It's 7...1...3...2...4...8...7...7...6...5

Idoit:  Oh!  OK!   Hold on let me get a pen to write it down

Me:  Fuck

[BamaSucks 12]

Rage inducing. Almost like talking to Verizon

[EE2B 1565]

i dont have 3 weeks worth of clothes, and its for the better

This. I’ve been doing my own since we’ve been together. It’s easier that way.

[Jack Straw 2954]

12 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

chinese and japanese tourists will straight up ruin your life when traveling, and its not just the picture taking.  complete disregard for others' personal space, will try to shove you out of the way to get to a site/attraction/event, cut in line, talk and laugh at crazy loud volumes in close quarters.  they are fucking awful and can ruin a vacation quick if you're not careful to stay as far away from them as possible

[Knoxtnhorn 6008]

23 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

chinese and japanese tourists will straight up ruin your life when traveling, and its not just the picture taking.  complete disregard for others' personal space, will try to shove you out of the way to get to a site/attraction/event, cut in line, talk and laugh at crazy loud volumes in close quarters.  they are fucking awful and can ruin a vacation quick if you're not careful to stay as far away from them as possible

Just got back from Disney and you're right.  The Yankees were worse, though.

Speaking of.  You think Walmart is bad with lazy, fatasses on scooters, try Disney.

[Jimbaround 975]

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

Yup. We had a guide for the palace in Bangkok and he was rushing us so that we could stay ahead of a large group of Chinese tourists. If we were ever in the same area they would just push around until they got where they wanted to go. It wasn’t malicious either, more oblivious.

[Spankytoes 1742]

1 hour ago, Jack Straw said:

chinese and japanese tourists will straight up ruin your life when traveling, and its not just the picture taking.  complete disregard for others' personal space, will try to shove you out of the way to get to a site/attraction/event, cut in line, talk and laugh at crazy loud volumes in close quarters.  they are fucking awful and can ruin a vacation quick if you're not careful to stay as far away from them as possible

JFC this! I had to yell at a family of 12 that couldn’t wait their turn to get to the ticket line for Windsor Castle. 7 of them had bypassed us before I spoke up.

[Biff Tannen 45691]

15 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

This is 100% accurate.  I was on a 6 foot wide skywalk 1000 feet over a gorge in Canada and the Chinese tourists could give a fuck about anyone else.  They were throwing elbows and nearly shoving people over the edge to get a stupid fucking pic.

[Biff Tannen 45691]

3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Idoits that can't write down a phone number without turning it into a train wreck. 

Idoit:  Hey, do you have their phone number?

Me:  Yes.  You ready?

Idoit:  Uh huh. 

Me: 7....1....3.....2...4....8.....

Idoit (interrupting):  Uh, 713, uh, what?

Me:  (dude?) OK.  7...1...3...

Idoit (interrupting):  I got that part.  7...1...2

Me:  (sigh). No.   Let me start over.  7...1...3...2...4...8

Idoit (interrupting and repeating): 7...1...3...2...4...8??

(long pause)

Me:  7...7...6...5

Idoit:  2...4...8...7...7...6...2?

Me:  No. It's 7...1...3...2...4...8...7...7...6...5

Idoit:  Oh!  OK!   Hold on let me get a pen to write it down

Me:  Fuck

This happened on Family Guy already.  Asshole.

[El Diablo 4232]

15 hours ago, Penelope said:

This. I’m not a picture taking person for this reason. I’d rather just enjoy the moment,  then try to capture it somehow. #picturesnoonereallywantstosee

Yeah, I'm guessing you skipped the post about the rhinos fucking. 

[NorthLoop 14214]

in regards to asian tourists. 

 

I went to Vegas with my family when I turned 21 back in '03. Saw an Asian tourist setting up his tripod on the strip in front of the Bellagio right in the middle of the sidewalk traffic. Random white dude just straight up punts one leg of the tripod destroying the whole setup. 

Quote

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Quote

 

 

 

[demos 3003]

Asshole neighbor mowing his yard at 7:30 on a Sunday morning. Lowdown motherfucker.

[Sandman 3403]

When people say "pointer finger" instead of "index finger". You sound like a 3rd grader.

[EastTexan 662]

38 minutes ago, Sandman said:

When people say "pointer finger" instead of "index finger". You sound like a 3rd grader.

How bout nose picking finger?

[Prepuce of Doom 21075]

"Booger hook." 

[Carl Spackler 3485]

Motherfuckers who stand in line (or sit in the drive-thru lane) at fast food restaurants for several minutes but don't know what the fuck they want once they get to the counter.  Are you kidding me?  You've had 5 minutes to think about it.  Plus you probably know the menu by heart anyway.  Anyone who takes longer than 30 seconds to place an order at a fast food restaurant deserves a special place in hell. 

 

 

 

 

[Thetexashammer 1062]

You guys ever try and  clear customs at Ataturk? Every one of those mother fuckers will try and cut past you when you're not looking. You literally have to line up side by side to stop people from passing you. It was literally a zoo.

[markstanco 12577]

When you go to a restaurant an hour before it closes and they're already stacking chairs and cleaning up and shit like they just locked the doors. Makes you feel like they want you to leave. Hey assholes you still got an hour. 

Bad idea jeans to eat at places who do this. Turn around and leave. #Iknow

[Lhorn 4914]

3 hours ago, Carl Spackler said:

Motherfuckers who stand in line (or sit in the drive-thru lane) at fast food restaurants for several minutes but don't know what the fuck they want once they get to the counter.  Are you kidding me?  You've had 5 minutes to think about it.  Plus you probably know the menu by heart anyway.  Anyone who takes longer than 30 seconds to place an order at a fast food restaurant deserves a special place in hell. 

 

 

 

 

My wife is one of those who really doesn't decide what she's going to order until she's at the register or the waiter is standing there waiting (at a sit down restaurant).  she doesn't take forever but seems to feel the need to explain her thought process in making her choices.  

[Incredulity 11675]

8 hours ago, Carl Spackler said:

Motherfuckers who stand in line (or sit in the drive-thru lane) at fast food restaurants for several minutes but don't know what the fuck they want once they get to the counter.  Are you kidding me?  You've had 5 minutes to think about it.  Plus you probably know the menu by heart anyway.  Anyone who takes longer than 30 seconds to place an order at a fast food restaurant deserves a special place in hell. 

 

 

 

 

Add this to the lazy scooter motherfuckers and you have Disneyland.  

My kids HAD to have chicken nuggets.  There are 2 things in the fucking menu.  40 minute line.  Nearly every asshole would get to the front of line and ask what was avaliable(it’s on the giant board above your head dickface), contemplate drink size options and throw a fit because there wasn’t a pesca-pescatarian option.

Edited July 9, 2018 by Incredulity

[Steamboat1874 4067]

This goes for the drive thru as well.

If there is a woman directly in front of you be prepared to wait. It will take them ten minutes to figure out what they want and order it.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

6 hours ago, Lhorn said:

My wife is one of those who really doesn't decide what she's going to order until she's at the register or the waiter is standing there waiting (at a sit down restaurant).  she doesn't take forever but seems to feel the need to explain her thought process in making her choices.  

All wives. 

You tell me where we are eating and I've already narrowed it down to 3 choices before we get in the car. JFC, ladies, you aren't studying for the SAT. Pick a fucking number.

[Vic Mackey 47059]

Old people. Every damn thing they do is so slow. Driving, walking, ordering food, etc.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 minute ago, Vic Mackey said:

Old people. Every damn thing they do is so slow. Driving, walking, ordering food, etc.

Old people should be restricted from driving during rush hour/lunch hour. 

[SilasCoade 2622]

10 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Old people. Every damn thing they do is so slow. Driving, walking, ordering food, etc.

Old people should not be driving. No one over 72 (to pick a random age).

But

 

you're going to be an old decrepit fucker someday, too, best case scenario. You're going to be slow AF doing everything. Have some empathy, dick.

[Vic Mackey 47059]

Old people should not be driving. No one over 72 (to pick a random age).
But
 
you're going to be an old decrepit fucker someday, too, best case scenario. You're going to be slow AF doing everything. Have some empathy, dick.

And I'm sure that will annoy younger people too. And with good reason. So until that day comes, I'll keep being annoyed by it myself.

[luke duke 6413]

People who record fireworks.

[Okie State 3821]

People who record fireworks.

Probably at least 50% of the people at our local fireworks show last week.