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Posted
2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:
Still clients.  Same client, same shit, different day.  Is it too early to start drinking?

It's never too early to drink.

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  • Like 1
Posted
On 7/4/2018 at 1:40 PM, immortal13 said:

In store solicitation is bullshit. I've experienced this at Lowe's, Home Depot and Best Buy. If someone comes up to you and asks if you are a homeowner, just say no. 

And when you are at Costco or Sam's and are asked who your cable provider is, always say "DirectTV".  

Posted
14 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Vendors that show up very early without bringing breakfast.

I have one that comes by about once a month and that assclown shows up at around 7:30 and never brings food.

Stop accepting his calls / emails. 

Posted

People filming or taking pictures of animals at the zoo.  Look for a minute and move along.  There is no need to snap 20 photos of each animal or take any videos.  If anyone has any interest in seeing a video or picture of a gorilla they'll google it and get 10,000 better images than your vertical iphone vids/pics.

  • Like 1
Posted

at a zoo, isn't the activity supposed to be looking at the animals?

 

I've seen rhinos fuck and it was mesmerizing[#thingsthatmakeyousayholyshit]

Posted
3 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Did you jerk off to it?

no.  Just tweaked my nipples a little.

 

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Posted
People filming or taking pictures of animals at the zoo.  Look for a minute and move along.  There is no need to snap 20 photos of each animal or take any videos.  If anyone has any interest in seeing a video or picture of a gorilla they'll google it and get 10,000 better images than your vertical iphone vids/pics.
It amazes me the things people take pictures of. They'll never look at 99% of them again in their lifetime.
Posted

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

  • Like 1
Posted
1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

mean_while_on_instagram_funny_chinese_ta

Posted

When you go to a restaurant an hour before it closes and they're already stacking chairs and cleaning up and shit like they just locked the doors. Makes you feel like they want you to leave. Hey assholes you still got an hour. 

Posted
3 hours ago, Okie State said:
8 hours ago, Gene Parmesan said:
People filming or taking pictures of animals at the zoo.  Look for a minute and move along.  There is no need to snap 20 photos of each animal or take any videos.  If anyone has any interest in seeing a video or picture of a gorilla they'll google it and get 10,000 better images than your vertical iphone vids/pics.

Read more  

It amazes me the things people take pictures of. They'll never look at 99% of them again in their lifetime.

This. I’m not a picture taking person for this reason. I’d rather just enjoy the moment,  then try to capture it somehow. #picturesnoonereallywantstosee

Posted

Idoits that can't write down a phone number without turning it into a train wreck. 

Idoit:  Hey, do you have their phone number?

Me:  Yes.  You ready?

Idoit:  Uh huh. 

Me: 7....1....3.....2...4....8.....

Idoit (interrupting):  Uh, 713, uh, what?

Me:  (dude?) OK.  7...1...3...

Idoit (interrupting):  I got that part.  7...1...2

Me:  (sigh). No.   Let me start over.  7...1...3...2...4...8

Idoit (interrupting and repeating): 7...1...3...2...4...8??

(long pause)

Me:  7...7...6...5

Idoit:  2...4...8...7...7...6...2?

Me:  No. It's 7...1...3...2...4...8...7...7...6...5

Idoit:  Oh!  OK!   Hold on let me get a pen to write it down

Me:  Fuck

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1
Posted
i dont have 3 weeks worth of clothes, and its for the better

This. I’ve been doing my own since we’ve been together. It’s easier that way.
Posted
12 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

chinese and japanese tourists will straight up ruin your life when traveling, and its not just the picture taking.  complete disregard for others' personal space, will try to shove you out of the way to get to a site/attraction/event, cut in line, talk and laugh at crazy loud volumes in close quarters.  they are fucking awful and can ruin a vacation quick if you're not careful to stay as far away from them as possible

  • Like 4
Posted
23 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

chinese and japanese tourists will straight up ruin your life when traveling, and its not just the picture taking.  complete disregard for others' personal space, will try to shove you out of the way to get to a site/attraction/event, cut in line, talk and laugh at crazy loud volumes in close quarters.  they are fucking awful and can ruin a vacation quick if you're not careful to stay as far away from them as possible

Just got back from Disney and you're right.  The Yankees were worse, though.

Speaking of.  You think Walmart is bad with lazy, fatasses on scooters, try Disney.

Posted
Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.


Yup. We had a guide for the palace in Bangkok and he was rushing us so that we could stay ahead of a large group of Chinese tourists. If we were ever in the same area they would just push around until they got where they wanted to go. It wasn’t malicious either, more oblivious.
Posted
1 hour ago, Jack Straw said:

chinese and japanese tourists will straight up ruin your life when traveling, and its not just the picture taking.  complete disregard for others' personal space, will try to shove you out of the way to get to a site/attraction/event, cut in line, talk and laugh at crazy loud volumes in close quarters.  they are fucking awful and can ruin a vacation quick if you're not careful to stay as far away from them as possible

JFC this! I had to yell at a family of 12 that couldn’t wait their turn to get to the ticket line for Windsor Castle. 7 of them had bypassed us before I spoke up.

Posted
15 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Holy shit Chinese tourists. No racist, it’s a fact. I visited the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow and I had to Google what the deal was later. I guess slide shows of yourself in front of famous things during your travels is a big status thing in China.

This is 100% accurate.  I was on a 6 foot wide skywalk 1000 feet over a gorge in Canada and the Chinese tourists could give a fuck about anyone else.  They were throwing elbows and nearly shoving people over the edge to get a stupid fucking pic.

Posted
3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Idoits that can't write down a phone number without turning it into a train wreck. 

Idoit:  Hey, do you have their phone number?

Me:  Yes.  You ready?

Idoit:  Uh huh. 

Me: 7....1....3.....2...4....8.....

Idoit (interrupting):  Uh, 713, uh, what?

Me:  (dude?) OK.  7...1...3...

Idoit (interrupting):  I got that part.  7...1...2

Me:  (sigh). No.   Let me start over.  7...1...3...2...4...8

Idoit (interrupting and repeating): 7...1...3...2...4...8??

(long pause)

Me:  7...7...6...5

Idoit:  2...4...8...7...7...6...2?

Me:  No. It's 7...1...3...2...4...8...7...7...6...5

Idoit:  Oh!  OK!   Hold on let me get a pen to write it down

Me:  Fuck

This happened on Family Guy already.  Asshole.

Posted
15 hours ago, Penelope said:

This. I’m not a picture taking person for this reason. I’d rather just enjoy the moment,  then try to capture it somehow. #picturesnoonereallywantstosee

Yeah, I'm guessing you skipped the post about the rhinos fucking. 

  • Like 1
Posted

in regards to asian tourists. 

 

I went to Vegas with my family when I turned 21 back in '03. Saw an Asian tourist setting up his tripod on the strip in front of the Bellagio right in the middle of the sidewalk traffic. Random white dude just straight up punts one leg of the tripod destroying the whole setup. 

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  • Like 1
Posted

Motherfuckers who stand in line (or sit in the drive-thru lane) at fast food restaurants for several minutes but don't know what the fuck they want once they get to the counter.  Are you kidding me?  You've had 5 minutes to think about it.  Plus you probably know the menu by heart anyway.  Anyone who takes longer than 30 seconds to place an order at a fast food restaurant deserves a special place in hell. 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 2
Posted

You guys ever try and  clear customs at Ataturk? Every one of those mother fuckers will try and cut past you when you're not looking. You literally have to line up side by side to stop people from passing you. It was literally a zoo.

Posted
When you go to a restaurant an hour before it closes and they're already stacking chairs and cleaning up and shit like they just locked the doors. Makes you feel like they want you to leave. Hey assholes you still got an hour. 
Bad idea jeans to eat at places who do this. Turn around and leave. #Iknow
  • Like 1
Posted
3 hours ago, Carl Spackler said:

Motherfuckers who stand in line (or sit in the drive-thru lane) at fast food restaurants for several minutes but don't know what the fuck they want once they get to the counter.  Are you kidding me?  You've had 5 minutes to think about it.  Plus you probably know the menu by heart anyway.  Anyone who takes longer than 30 seconds to place an order at a fast food restaurant deserves a special place in hell. 

 

 

 

 

My wife is one of those who really doesn't decide what she's going to order until she's at the register or the waiter is standing there waiting (at a sit down restaurant).  she doesn't take forever but seems to feel the need to explain her thought process in making her choices.  

Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Carl Spackler said:

Motherfuckers who stand in line (or sit in the drive-thru lane) at fast food restaurants for several minutes but don't know what the fuck they want once they get to the counter.  Are you kidding me?  You've had 5 minutes to think about it.  Plus you probably know the menu by heart anyway.  Anyone who takes longer than 30 seconds to place an order at a fast food restaurant deserves a special place in hell. 

 

 

 

 

Add this to the lazy scooter motherfuckers and you have Disneyland.  

My kids HAD to have chicken nuggets.  There are 2 things in the fucking menu.  40 minute line.  Nearly every asshole would get to the front of line and ask what was avaliable(it’s on the giant board above your head dickface), contemplate drink size options and throw a fit because there wasn’t a pesca-pescatarian option.

Edited by Incredulity
  • Like 2
Posted
6 hours ago, Lhorn said:

My wife is one of those who really doesn't decide what she's going to order until she's at the register or the waiter is standing there waiting (at a sit down restaurant).  she doesn't take forever but seems to feel the need to explain her thought process in making her choices.  

All wives. 

You tell me where we are eating and I've already narrowed it down to 3 choices before we get in the car. JFC, ladies, you aren't studying for the SAT. Pick a fucking number.

  • Like 1
Posted
1 minute ago, Vic Mackey said:

Old people. Every damn thing they do is so slow. Driving, walking, ordering food, etc.

Old people should be restricted from driving during rush hour/lunch hour. 

  • Like 1
Posted
10 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Old people. Every damn thing they do is so slow. Driving, walking, ordering food, etc.

Old people should not be driving. No one over 72 (to pick a random age).

But

 

you're going to be an old decrepit fucker someday, too, best case scenario. You're going to be slow AF doing everything. Have some empathy, dick.

  • Like 2
Posted
Old people should not be driving. No one over 72 (to pick a random age).
But
 
you're going to be an old decrepit fucker someday, too, best case scenario. You're going to be slow AF doing everything. Have some empathy, dick.
And I'm sure that will annoy younger people too. And with good reason. So until that day comes, I'll keep being annoyed by it myself.

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