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Posted (edited)

Neighbor has a cardboard sign in front of their house with name of prep school their kid is attending.  “Home of prep school student” 

But their kid must be a dumbfuck as their car doesn’t have a bumper sticker saying their kid is an honor student at the school. 

 

Edited by tfoolry
Posted
  On 7/20/2018 at 3:47 PM, Moby Ric said:

Not trivial, but fuck HWY 290 in Houston right now.  That place is insane.  I had to venture over there for a meeting yesterday and it was a total shitshow with all the construction.

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290 has been the worst of the freeways for a long ass time.  

Posted

Parking garages. Holy fuck. People come speeding through. Taking wide turns and almost hitting you as you come around the corner. I'm always paranoid someone will plow into me as I'm backing up.

Posted

People on the outside not going far enough into the turn so they're in the middle, people on the inside not hugging the post so they're in the middle, and add in all the F350s with their tow hitches in that should be assigned spaces not in the turns and it's a recipe for a cluster fuck.

  • Like 1
Posted

Microsoft picking "Azure" as the name of their fucking cloud.  So I have to sit in meetings and listen to absolutely nobody knowing or at least agreeing how to pronounce the word "azure".  It's like "measure", but starting with an a.

Posted
  On 7/22/2018 at 6:18 AM, Celery Man said:

Microsoft picking "Azure" as the name of their fucking cloud.  So I have to sit in meetings and listen to absolutely nobody knowing or at least agreeing how to pronounce the word "azure".  It's like "measure", but starting with an a.

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They should have named it Dave.

Posted

Parents with babies and/or toddlers who insist on bringing their children to: movies, plays, anything where you have to listen to something... fuck, just public places in general.  

To these parents - Understand, if you do this, please understand that this might mean you will be required to miss part of the performance... that is, if you are being a courteous human being who doesn't want to subject the rest of the general public with your screaming child.  If your child starts crying, politely take the fucker out of the venue.  "But I don't want to miss it!"  Well, neither does the rest of the audience, so find a fucking sitter next time.

Posted
  On 7/22/2018 at 6:18 AM, Celery Man said:

Microsoft picking "Azure" as the name of their fucking cloud.  So I have to sit in meetings and listen to absolutely nobody knowing or at least agreeing how to pronounce the word "azure".  It's like "measure", but starting with an a.

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The Curse of the Azure Product Name. 

Posted

all these websites and internet displays are turning fucking Mobile with big ass oversize fonts and tiny footprint , makes me look like im browsing the web version of Readers Digest Large Print 

Posted (edited)
  On 7/23/2018 at 5:07 AM, NorthLoop said:

watermelons are for the poors

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Not at $6 a pop they ain't...

 

That brings me to something else that blows my mind in the grocery store:  ears of corn are 5 or 6 for $1.  On the same display they will have 4 shucked ears of corn on a styro tray and cellophane for $3.99.  Who buys that shit at such a huge markup?  It takes less than a minute to shuck an ear of corn.  Your kids might even LIKE doing it... That price on the trays always makes me SMDH.

 

Edited by slorch
Posted

NBC describing heavy rains or other bad weather and  insisting on adding extra urgency to panic all of the mommies watching by adding the descriptor "24 million people will be AT RISK in these storms."

So stupid and unnecessary 

Posted

Here's a twofer...

Went with the wife to the fucking Apple Store on Saturday. Wait, this is a threefer.  The Apple Store makes me surly.

We parked in the parking garage.  On the way out, as soon as I step outside of the door, I step in freshly chewed/spit out gum.  Not just normal gum.  Like Bubble Yum or something like that.  So, people that spit their gum out on the ground anywhere, let alone in a doorway.

When pulling out of our parking spot, I had two people jockeying for position to get my spot.  Neither wanted to give an inch and wouldn't back up so that I could leave. 

People are stupid.  So, maybe a fourfer.  Stupid people make me surly.

Posted
  On 7/23/2018 at 12:42 PM, You don't know me said:

Here's a twofer...

Went with the wife to the fucking Apple Store on Saturday. Wait, this is a threefer.  The Apple Store makes me surly.

We parked in the parking garage.  On the way out, as soon as I step outside of the door, I step in freshly chewed/spit out gum.  Not just normal gum.  Like Bubble Yum or something like that.  So, people that spit their gum out on the ground anywhere, let alone in a doorway.

When pulling out of our parking spot, I had two people jockeying for position to get my spot.  Neither wanted to give an inch and wouldn't back up so that I could leave. 

People are stupid.  So, maybe a fourfer.  Stupid people make me surly.

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You have two-way traffic in your parking garage?

Posted

When someone puts the leftover pizza in the fridge while it's still in the box. It gets dried out and rock hard almost immediately. Bag that shit up, dammit.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 7/23/2018 at 5:00 PM, Sandman said:
When someone puts the leftover pizza in the fridge while it's still in the box. It gets dried out and rock hard almost immediately. Bag that shit up, dammit.
Never done this... just had cold pizza from box for lunch. Is there a major difference to what i'm doing wrong here?
Posted
  On 7/23/2018 at 5:04 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:
  On 7/23/2018 at 5:00 PM, Sandman said:
When someone puts the leftover pizza in the fridge while it's still in the box. It gets dried out and rock hard almost immediately. Bag that shit up, dammit.
Expand  

Never done this... just had cold pizza from box for lunch. Is there a major difference to what i'm doing wrong here?

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It's subjective, of course, but I hate dried out pizza. If I wanted flavored jerky, I'd go to 7-11.

  • Like 1
Posted

I can't believe how many of you weirdos ruin perfectly good melon by putting salt on it. I grew up on Llano homegrown Black Diamond melons of perfect sweetness, and only once did I ever try it with salt. That shit is nasty.

Posted
  On 7/24/2018 at 10:27 AM, Vic Mackey said:
This is about as generic and vague of an explanation as it gets but thanks for trying.
Well...it was a joke.

Most of the 'poors' jokes people make on here make no sense. Just part of the deal.
Posted
  On 7/24/2018 at 8:17 AM, Walden Ponderer said:

I can't believe how many of you weirdos ruin perfectly good melon by putting salt on it. I grew up on Llano homegrown Black Diamond melons of perfect sweetness, and only once did I ever try it with salt. That shit is nasty.

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Are you not familiar with the concept of combining savory with sweet? It's simple food math.

Posted
  On 7/24/2018 at 8:17 AM, Walden Ponderer said:

I can't believe how many of you weirdos ruin perfectly good melon by putting salt on it. I grew up on Llano homegrown Black Diamond melons of perfect sweetness, and only once did I ever try it with salt. That shit is nasty.

Expand  

Actually, growing up I was taught to put salt on fruit (watermelon, pineapple, others that slip my mind at the moment) supposedly only when said fruit is of lower quality, usually not sweet enough.

Posted

A lot of our newer employees love to swing by the office unannounced at 515pm with 50 questions presented to me in rapid fire format. 

Career limiting move, kids. 

 

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