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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
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22 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

My 11 year old loves that commercial. Whenever it comes on, I pause the tv, call her into the living room, and we sing the song together. Drives my wife absolutely crazy.

Whenever I or anybody else serving up some icecream to myself or anybody else, the "Scoop, there it is" is mandatory.

That little ditty went platinum...  there's yer scoop....

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“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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5 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

You should probably just tell the judge that you don't care to do your civic duty. 

And hope that if you ever need a jury to resolve something for you (or, heaven forbid, clear you of a crime you didn't commit), that you get a better draw of folks summoned for jury duty than this guy has apparently received. 

He should have just walked around mumbling "fry the mother fucker" from the minute he got there.

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10 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

And yet, he's also shown himself to be unqualified to serve as a juror. 

They never got to me and about 30 others before they found 12 impartial jurors.

I don’t think they would’ve taken me anyways because I’ve got 2 kids under 10. Everyone they took either didn’t have kids or their kids were already grown up. 

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elfenix

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My 11 year old loves that commercial. Whenever it comes on, I pause the tv, call her into the living room, and we sing the song together. Drives my wife absolutely crazy.
Whenever I or anybody else serving up some icecream to myself or anybody else, the "Scoop, there it is" is mandatory.
You and her definitely need to learn how to do the dance too. Somewhere your wife will be posting to the stupid shit husbands do thread.
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Biff Tannen

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On 9/14/2021 at 12:31 PM, Sandman said:

My coworker has a radio in her cube and she's obviously listening to pandora or spotify because every 3-4 tunes, a christmas song comes on. I love christmas music but c'mon man, it's fucking september.

I was told that I could listen, to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9 to 11... well, I... I told Bill that if, if Sandra's going to listen to her headphones while she's, while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn it down because I enjoy, listening, at a reasonable volume, from 9 to 11...

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MonkeyDoughnut

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1 hour ago, nnm said:

Sorry about the diebeetus. 

lol... yeah it's fate telling me not to go there. I really try to not go but once every couple months so I'll get the nacho fries when they "come back" and inevitably the next time I go back they don't have them again and I really don't want anything else there but those.... 

hungry stand up comedy GIF by NACHOS

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Guest Lobo

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When a non-profit/alumni association/charity sends you a solicitation envelope and as an enticement to donate (or at least, open it)...they include 250 pre-printed address stickers for your household.  I'm sure they get a nice bulk discount, but...

I want to support your cause, but in this day and age, sending me 250 address stickers...you're just telling me, "Here take these.  We clearly have no idea how to budget our money very well...but we'd like you to give us some more of yours."  

Edited by Lobo
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ROFL BOX

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When a non-profit/alumni association/charity sends you a solicitation envelope and as an enticement to donate (or at least, open it)...they include 250 pre-printed address stickers for your household.  I'm sure they get a nice bulk discount, but...
I want to support your cause, but in this day and age, sending me 250 address stickers...you're just telling me, "Here take these.  We clearly have no idea how to budget our money very well...but we'd like you to give us some more of yours."  
They are going after the old who still use checks & sbail mail.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

When a non-profit/alumni association/charity sends you a solicitation envelope and as an enticement to donate (or at least, open it)...they include 250 pre-printed address stickers for your household.  I'm sure they get a nice bulk discount, but...

I want to support your cause, but in this day and age, sending me 250 address stickers...you're just telling me, "Here take these.  We clearly have no idea how to budget our money very well...but we'd like you to give us some more of yours."  

I won't sit here and let you besmirch the good name of St. Jude's!

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6 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

They are going after the old who still use checks & sbail mail.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
 

That's just it.  They know who I am.  They know my age (in some cases, the exact date...in other cases, they've at least met me and know my approximate generation).  

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On 9/23/2021 at 8:31 AM, deadshank said:

@Okie State

AA5220A9-FCEF-4E48-BFD3-040342061FC1.jpeg

On one hand, yeah, where the fuck is the locking catch in the handle?  On the other, why the fuck is there fuel spilled all over the ground at seemingly every gas pump.   Seriously?  You can’t fuel up your vehicle to a reasonable level unless it just splashes out the side?

Maybe New Jersey is right…

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Onboard 2.0

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3 hours ago, Blotto said:

Twenty-two. Twenty two fucking emails over a two day period from various entities at the university of texas letting me know I still have time to donate money during their 40 hour fundraising drive. 

Well quit being a dead beat and contribute...  those new coaches aren't gonna pay for themselves

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7 minutes ago, slorch said:

On one hand, yeah, where the fuck is the locking catch in the handle?  On the other, why the fuck is there fuel spilled all over the ground at seemingly every gas pump.   Seriously?  You can’t fuel up your vehicle to a reasonable level unless it just splashes out the side?

Maybe New Jersey is right…

For the same reason you find piss dribbles under every urinal?  

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WhatTheBuck

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Fucking cricket chirping outside my front door. It’s uncanny how the chirping stops as soon as I crack open the door. It took me two trips outside with a can of Raid to spray around the bushes but apparently I got him because the chirping has stopped. I can still hear crickets chirping off in the distance but that was just so loud. No luring a mate for you, motherfucker.

And yes, counting the number of chirps in 15 seconds and adding 37 is a pretty accurate way to tell the temperature. 

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17 hours ago, Underdog said:

Why would they care if you can't read or count? 

They don't care.  I'm the only one who cares that the fucking sign is there.

They don't give a fuck at all.  They should answer the question if they think other people can see and/or interpret the sign they ignored.

Edited by slorch
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elfenix

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6 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

"I'm just so proud of these guys right now.  Each one of them put forth a mathematically impossible amount of effort."

giving 110% is a pretty common expression out in the rest of the world.  ain't no partner pretrial pep talk saying, "we're going to out there and have a baker botts trial"

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52-80

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fucking piece of shit chase bank assfuck shit tech every goddamn time i try to log onto the website somehow it "doesnt recognize" my browser and has to send an authentication code.  annoying enough but atleast in the past it sent the motherfucker instantly... now it takes fucking minutes before this shit goes through and dont they know who i am and how important my time is?

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On 9/26/2021 at 4:20 PM, elfenix said:

giving 110% is a pretty common expression out in the rest of the world.  ain't no partner pretrial pep talk saying, "we're going to out there and have a baker botts trial"

"giving 110%."

 

It's bullshit.    110% of your rated capabilities?  Yeah, humans ain't made like the fucking Enterprise. Either you're doing your best or you are not.

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Jameslaw121

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2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

fucking piece of shit chase bank assfuck shit tech every goddamn time i try to log onto the website somehow it "doesnt recognize" my browser and has to send an authentication code.  annoying enough but atleast in the past it sent the motherfucker instantly... now it takes fucking minutes before this shit goes through and dont they know who i am and how important my time is?

Pretty much any place that has two part authentication that isn't a financial institution. Look Chipotle, I really don't care if someone charges my card for a fucking burrito

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Tom

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I purchased new boxer briefs this weekend, wore a pair today, and found there's no peehole.  Guess I didn't read the package closely enough.

Why does men's underwear like this even exist?  Waste of money for something that I'm going to end up throwing away.

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nnm

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1 hour ago, Tom said:

I purchased new boxer briefs this weekend, wore a pair today, and found there's no peehole.  Guess I didn't read the package closely enough.

Why does men's underwear like this even exist?  Waste of money for something that I'm going to end up throwing away.

Long balls. 

 

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HiggyBaby

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In the big scheme of things a burned out fridge light definitely ranks as trivial. Unless it’s out because the freezer light is out. And because all the lights are daisy chained LED’s, when one goes out, they all go out. So you track down the bum LED light for $85 and the damned thing ends up in Oregon and you are in Texas. Did we pass the trivial threshold yet?

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