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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20954

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Posted
2 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Ya know what’s worse ? Dentists handing out toothbrushes and toothpaste 

It's the responsibility of the older kids in the neighborhood to make sure that toothbrushes get jabbed into the lawn, and toothpaste gets squeezed onto the driveway at the end of the night. 

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Ignatius

Ignatius 3990

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Posted
On 10/26/2021 at 3:42 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

When I first started working for CompuServe, I meant to send an email to my dept. but accidentally addressed it to “All” which would make it company-wide. Fortunately they had a function where you could go to a command line interface and issue a command to delete the message so that anyone who hadn’t read it already would never see it. I never received a single reply.

That was such a cool place to work. 

The glory of the VMS mail, pre Exchange/Outlook days…

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Buying 9 separate and very specific to-go lunches from Luby’s.  Holding up the entire line. 
 

She pays for each lunch separately to ensure each order gets its own correct change.   
 

Lawdy lawdy. 

19F179DD-2EFE-45EC-8627-A31EEE0F7F5C.jpeg

30D6D88D-42E9-4DAB-90A6-AD680F78973D.jpeg

Yeah she's eating 'em all. The each separate order thing is just a red herring.

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21468

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9 minutes ago, troph said:

Saw a guy run over a squirrel without as much as tapping his breaks this morning.  Saw it coming a mile away and he had plenty of room to avoid it. Mother fucker.

If it was the same squirrel who constantly eats the cushions on my patio furniture I have no problem with it.  Any other well behaved squirrel and he’s an asshole

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nnm

nnm 35847

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Don't know the exact circumstances, but if there's any question between my safety and that of a critter, the critter loses every time.  In other words, if the road conditions mean that there's the slightest possibility of my losing control to avoid the critter, then I'm proceeding with critter euthanasia.  

I will brake, if possible and safe, and turn, if possible and safe, but if it's on a curve, or wet/slick roads, or oncoming traffic will be forced to take evasive action, or I might slip off a shoulder into a ditch, etc., etc., then bye bye critter.  

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nnm

nnm 35847

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

Because all of the people from those crap hole countries moved to Houston and amalgamate their horrible driving habits. 
Driving in Caracas is terrifying until you figure out that everyone is crazy in the same way, and then it gets predictable. Same in Rio, Bogota, Lagos, etc. But the bad driving habits are different from country to country. In Houston, they’re all together, and you have no freaking idea what the rules are in the person’s head in the car approaching you. 
I’m not positive it’s true, but I’ve heard (and would believe) that Houston is the most diverse city in the country. Whether or not it’s true, it is a melting pot, and the driving is horrendous. 

Edit: Last year we moved out of the Houston area after almost 20 years. Most of that I was driving 1+ hours each way in Houston traffic. I never had an accident. Part of that is the advanced defensive driving classes I took multiple times in the O&G industry. Most of it is the sheer grace of God. 

Edited by nnm
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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20954

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2 hours ago, nnm said:

Because all of the people from those crap hole countries moved to Houston and amalgamate their horrible driving habits. 
Driving in Caracas is terrifying until you figure out that everyone is crazy in the same way, and then it gets predictable. Same in Rio, Bogota, Lagos, etc. But the bad driving habits are different from country to country. In Houston, they’re all together, and you have no freaking idea what the rules are in the person’s head in the car approaching you. 
I’m not positive it’s true, but I’ve heard (and would believe) that Houston is the most diverse city in the country. Whether or not it’s true, it is a melting pot, and the driving is horrendous. 

Also applies to Miami. 

Incidentally, South Florida is a lawless wonderland if you're an aggressive driver. 

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Superhero

Superhero 8695

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Posted

I work with a VP who wants to over-do every. fucking. thing.

The project we’re working on is $100M over budget spread out over 5 buildings and a lot of site work. She wanted to go line by line to see where we could have some savings. Our estimate is easily over 5,000 lines…

After 3 hours (with another guy waiting patiently on the phone in case she had any questions) we had cut $5M. That’s $1.6M per hour. Probably need another 12 days to get find the other $95M. We hit print on Friday and there’s no fucking way we’re gonna get it done the way she wants.

 

Additional ranting below…

Once we cut out the remaining $95M, she wants to get into the minutia that no one but her would care about. She wants me to personally take care of it (because apparently I’m the only detail oriented person she trusts), but I told her fuck no. I’m not going to work for 48 hours straight for something that no one gives a shit about. She got annoyed at me but I didn’t budge. Then one of the guys got tired of her and absolutely lit into her. It was fucking glorious.


More ranting... 

This woman wanted my team of 7 to drive up to LA everyday, JUST in case she wanted to talk to us about something. Everyone gets to LA angry because they’ve either woke up early to get there; or sat in traffic for 1.5 hours. By 3pm, no one got much done because we’re working off our single laptop screens instead of double 27” monitors. Everyone is checked out and just waiting to make a jailbreak when she disappears to make a phone call. I can honestly say there were a few days when she didn’t even talk to anyone.

 

I actually get along with her and we work pretty well together. But sometimes it’s a fucking beating. 

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Superhero

Superhero 8695

Posted
Posted (edited)
37 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

Can you pawn it off on the Seattle team?

Seattle team are shit bags. Pawning off shit right before Christmas so they can take a break. 

 

At least this VP will step up and do the work herself. Unfortunately she'll also keep you until 3AM (and she has) until the work is done. I enjoy what I do and don't mind putting in more hours. But holy hell, she takes it to the next level.

Edited by Superhero
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deadshank

deadshank 24646

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On 11/5/2021 at 11:06 AM, troph said:

Saw a guy run over a squirrel without as much as tapping his breaks this morning.  Saw it coming a mile away and he had plenty of room to avoid it. Mother fucker.

I’ve shot more danged WTD, mule deer, speed goats, elk, hogs and dogs than I can recount. 
 

And I will brake for a tree rat every time. 

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deadshank

deadshank 24646

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On 11/8/2021 at 7:26 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

Gessner and I-10; Dairy Ashford and I-10.  
 

Triple turn lane Lindy free for all.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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The three left turn lane deal at 360 to go west on 2244 is a shitshow.  I need to be in the far right one for the next quick turn to DFA.  But inside two lane mutha fuckers wanna play Tokyo Drift.  
 

also the three lanes of southbound Guadalupe veer left onto the south 1st street bridge.  Not a true left turn but people do not stay in their lanes and fuck up traffic on both those streets and Cesar Chavez.  

Edited by Lobo
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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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8 hours ago, Superhero said:

The project we’re working on is $100M over budget spread out over 5 buildings and a lot of site work. She wanted to go line by line to see where we could have some savings. Our estimate is easily over 5,000 lines…

Damn. Isn't that her job? Slap it into a comparative spreadsheet and sort by "max" (percentage or dollar). Job done in 5 minutes.

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Posted
Posted (edited)
On 11/8/2021 at 7:26 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There's a triple lane left turn real near my house.  I've learned to avoid the middle turn lane at all costs.  I've driven in numerous shit hole countries and Houston has by far the worst drivers I've encountered

I may have encountered this yesterday, from West bound I 10 feeder road onto southbound Gessner.

Everyone miraculously abided, and I was grateful AF in that middle lane turn with a pickup loaded with 2 pinball machines… my agility/ elusivity was virtually zero had someone been off kilter.  I mumbled to my buddy,’ Who thought of that eveil shit? I didn’t even know 3 lane turns existed!’

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11400

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Not sure which thread to post in.  Theft in general sucks the big one, but I once sat on a flight from Denver to Milwaukee next to a area manager for some WalMart stores in Wisconsin.  He said that Detergent was the highest theft item they have and that there are crime rings that roam the midwest to do exactly the above.  I had not seen it before though.

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