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Posted

Slow walkers, especially in a work or school setting. Sure if you’re at the beach take it easy, but otherwise get a fucking move on!

And you can tell the people who do it at work so they don’t have to work as much. We had a few of those on the farm growing up. Walked and drove slow everywhere.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Butch Had Not said:

Fuck. Turn the water on in the kitchen sink and the water hits the spoon at the bottom perfectly causing a splash back right into your shirt.

Perfect example of the spirit of this thread. Bravo!

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Posted
11 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or when liquor splashes off the ice cubes in your glass and spills on the counter. 

You don’t drink it straight out of the bottle? What are you, cultured or something? 

Posted

When someone is crossing the street slowly and realizes you’re in a car waiting on them, and they just glare over their shoulder and continue walking slow like they’re some kind of important badass.

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Posted
1 hour ago, jofus said:

When someone is crossing the street slowly and realizes you’re in a car waiting on them, and they just glare over their shoulder and continue walking slow like they’re some kind of important badass.

Passive aggressive people suck shit.

Posted
When someone is crossing the street slowly and realizes you’re in a car waiting on them, and they just glare over their shoulder and continue walking slow like they’re some kind of important badass.

That makes me rage as well. When I am leaving a store and somebody waves me on I always speed up to a trot.
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Posted
13 minutes ago, markstanco said:


That makes me rage as well. When I am leaving a store and somebody waves me on I always speed up to a trot.

Common courtesy, along with a wave to the driver for slowing up allowing me to cross, even when I have the right of way.

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Posted
8 hours ago, jofus said:

When someone is crossing the street slowly and realizes you’re in a car waiting on them, and they just glare over their shoulder and continue walking slow like they’re some kind of important badass.

Or when you're trying to make a turn at a stop sign and people walk in front of your car. 

Posted

The top of my mom’s chimney collapsed this morning while I was picking her up for church.  I was standing on her sidewalk and about half of what collapsed landed 5 feet behind me.  Now I have to climb up on her roof and clean the rest of it off and see if there is any roof damage and then find someone to come out and give me an estimate for rebuilding the chimney.

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Posted
12 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The top of my mom’s chimney collapsed this morning while I was picking her up for church.  I was standing on her sidewalk and about half of what collapsed landed 5 feet behind me.  Now I have to climb up on her roof and clean the rest of it off and see if there is any roof damage and then find someone to come out and give me an estimate for rebuilding the chimney.

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5EE81A8B-F073-446B-BE44-B9DCACB527E9.jpeg

If Houston, PM me

Posted
57 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The top of my mom’s chimney collapsed this morning while I was picking her up for church.  I was standing on her sidewalk and about half of what collapsed landed 5 feet behind me.  Now I have to climb up on her roof and clean the rest of it off and see if there is any roof damage and then find someone to come out and give me an estimate for rebuilding the chimney.

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Not trivial. Or cheap. 

Posted
On 2/4/2022 at 9:42 AM, Butch Had Not said:

Fuck. Turn the water on in the kitchen sink and the water hits the spoon at the bottom perfectly causing a splash back right into your shirt.

People who don't 1) put their dishes in the dishwasher or 2) wash their dishes right then.

Yeah, the sink ain't a holding area until somebody wants to clean their dishes.  Common misconception...

Posted
6 hours ago, slorch said:

People who don't 1) put their dishes in the dishwasher or 2) wash their dishes right then.

Yeah, the sink ain't a holding area until somebody wants to clean their dishes.  Common misconception...

I'm not the woman in the house.  The dishes are there until she can do her god given job.

Posted
6 minutes ago, Ag with kids said:

I'm not the woman in the house.  The dishes are there until she can do her god given job.

says the guy making his own food...

Posted
10 hours ago, slorch said:

People who don't 1) put their dishes in the dishwasher or 2) wash their dishes right then.

Yeah, the sink ain't a holding area until somebody wants to clean their dishes.  Common misconception...

Sheeeit. I wish the dishes would end up in the sink. Ours seem to migrate only to the counter right above the dishwasher and right next to the sink 

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Posted
2 hours ago, Okie State said:

There were two dogs in Lowes yesterday for seemingly no reason. I don't get it.

Few years ago when my oldest was just old enough to walk around stores outta the stroller...we took her to home depot.  Wife and I multi-tasked, I got some shit on one end of the store, she got the other side with the munchkin.  Some oakley-wearing guy had a doberman in there with him.  Dog was leashed but guy just dropped leash to grab some shit with two hands off the shelf and dog made a beeline for my daughter.  Wife got between dog and daughter and yelled. 

Guy acted like a dick when I made my way over there after recognizing the yell, like we were anti-dog assholes.  And of course he said what every asshole dog-owner has said since the beginning of time, "Oh, he's never bitten anyone."  Yeah, no shit dude.  No dog has bit anyone for at least a part of their life, until they finally bite somebody.  It would be weird if you said, "Oh yeah, look out...he bites people all the time...he's kind of an asshole.  Not even sure why I take him into public."  I haven't bitten anybody in 40 years.  Doesn't mean I won't start tomorrow with your face.  

I'm guessing it was a Service Dog in that it serves to notify the general public that the owner is a fucking small-dicked asshole.  

Posted
11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Few years ago when my oldest was just old enough to walk around stores outta the stroller...we took her to home depot.  Wife and I multi-tasked, I got some shit on one end of the store, she got the other side with the munchkin.  Some oakley-wearing guy had a doberman in there with him.  Dog was leashed but guy just dropped leash to grab some shit with two hands off the shelf and dog made a beeline for my daughter.  Wife got between dog and daughter and yelled. 

Guy acted like a dick when I made my way over there after recognizing the yell, like we were anti-dog assholes.  And of course he said what every asshole dog-owner has said since the beginning of time, "Oh, he's never bitten anyone."  Yeah, no shit dude.  No dog has bit anyone for at least a part of their life, until they finally bite somebody.  It would be weird if you said, "Oh yeah, look out...he bites people all the time...he's kind of an asshole.  Not even sure why I take him into public."  I haven't bitten anybody in 40 years.  Doesn't mean I won't start tomorrow with your face.  

I'm guessing it was a Service Dog in that it serves to notify the general public that the owner is a fucking small-dicked asshole.  

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Posted

I hope that dog doesn't bite anybody because that guy has the worst fucking attorneys.  

Posted

So there I was, inside the amazing palace of the barbarian king of the jungle as his honored guest. Led to my chambers, outfitted with a huge bed, a fireplace, a large hot bath (we'd been traveling for weeks) and, of course, my very own chambermaid, wearing nothing but a skirt and an ivory necklace. Of course, she's not just there to help wash me, but to service any other needs that might arise. She helps me to undress, begins bathing me, head to foot. And now she's taking off her BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

 

the goddamn alarm goes off waking me up just as it was getting good

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Posted
On 2/7/2022 at 12:54 PM, 52-80 said:

When motherfuckers post a screenshot that looks like this

image.thumb.png.8e4b4dcd356282ce993bbad2ab6eb204.png

like fucking wordwrap your shit, resize the window, and then take another snapshot, asshole.

or, ya know, copy and paste. IT'S TEXT.

Posted

…the fact that in British English, “vomit” is “sick”, which is both a noun and a verb. 

“He was sick all over the car seat, and then his dog licked the sick clean”

 

Posted

we had an ancient set of world books that my dad picked up at a thrift store.  in the mid 90s my mom started buying funk and wagnall's volume by volume from randall's.  my dad caught her about halfway thru and told her to stop buying that crap, so when they went expat goodwill ended up with half an encyclopedia

/tldr: and then i found $5

Posted
51 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

do they even sell physical encyclopedias anymore?

 

 

I always looked forward to the annual yearbook update/review copy that has the year emblazoned on the spine.

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Posted
…the fact that in British English, “vomit” is “sick”, which is both a noun and a verb. 

“He was sick all over the car seat, and then his dog licked the sick clean”
 

It worse for piss…he was pissed so he went outside to piss while it was pissing . The neighbors were pissed and he was all “I’m just having a piss”.
Posted
38 minutes ago, Hate said:


It worse for piss…he was pissed so he went outside to piss while it was pissing . The neighbors were pissed and he was all “I’m just having a piss”.

maybe they were taking the piss

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Posted

Nah, i think they were having a piss like I'm having a drink.  To ward off Covid like the research says.

Posted
Few years ago when my oldest was just old enough to walk around stores outta the stroller...we took her to home depot.  Wife and I multi-tasked, I got some shit on one end of the store, she got the other side with the munchkin.  Some oakley-wearing guy had a doberman in there with him.  Dog was leashed but guy just dropped leash to grab some shit with two hands off the shelf and dog made a beeline for my daughter.  Wife got between dog and daughter and yelled. 
Guy acted like a dick when I made my way over there after recognizing the yell, like we were anti-dog assholes.  And of course he said what every asshole dog-owner has said since the beginning of time, "Oh, he's never bitten anyone."  Yeah, no shit dude.  No dog has bit anyone for at least a part of their life, until they finally bite somebody.  It would be weird if you said, "Oh yeah, look out...he bites people all the time...he's kind of an asshole.  Not even sure why I take him into public."  I haven't bitten anybody in 40 years.  Doesn't mean I won't start tomorrow with your face.  
I'm guessing it was a Service Dog in that it serves to notify the general public that the owner is a fucking small-dicked asshole.  
One of these days, Home Depot is gonna get sued & lose a shitload of $$.

The sign on the door *clearly* says "only service dogs permitted", but not only do they not enforce that, there are employees who routinely have dog treats in their aprons & hand them out.

I will admit guilt in bringing OUR Doberman (Major) & later Corgi (Scout) into H.D., however that was as a puppy that would always remain in the basket.

Sent from my SM-A326U1 using Tapatalk

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