Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Fudbelty 2,801]

DST talk not going away

[SilasCoade 2,622]

21 minutes ago, slorch said:

Indeed, yet my trivial surality is some offense to mankind.

 

I know you know it's not a word but if surality were a word it would mean something to do with the calf or lower leg, perhaps you meant surlitude?

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Llogg said:

I know you know it's not a word but if surality were a word it would mean something to do with the calf or lower leg, perhaps you meant surlitude?

Surlividity

[Macanudo 13,259]

This applies to a lot of places on-line (Reddit is terrible) but reposts piss me off something fierce.   Something will literally be 2 or 3 posts back and some dimwitted jackhole puts it up again.   And the worst is when it's gif from 6 months or more back and some times years back.   Really, dipshit, you didn't think that we hadn't already seen the chick falling out of the barrel while stomping grapes?   

 

[nnm 37,754]

6 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I call it assuming my rightful place in line. 

[deadshank 24,654]

The stupid bastard in my neighborhood that jogs in blue jeans.  
 

What a clown. 

[CooterBrown 18,273]

Round toilet seats. We’re staying in a condo this week and both bathrooms have a round toilet seat. Who likes these things? You feel like you’re perched on a fence pole. You have to tuck your junk every time you sit down. You scrap your junk on the seat every time you stand up. These things suck.

Team oblong all fucking day.

[Js1 86,955]

On 3/14/2022 at 1:26 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I live a five iron away from Mountain Time Zone. I don’t relish the thought of a 9 am sunrise during the winter. I also like 9:30 pm sunsets during the summer. Our vacation home is in the eastern part of Mountain Time, so its dark before 5 pm during the winter and light by 5 am during the summer. That early winter darkness is not my favorite thing, but I’d rather not have it getting light at 4 am during the summer, either. I’m fine with the minor inconvenience of adjusting my clocks twice a year. 

One of my least favorite parts of living in Denver was the period of 5:30am sunrises.  Holy hell, turn that bitch off, I'm sleeping. 

[Al_4_ISU 12,612]

I love taking the dog out to piss when I wake up in the summer and seeing the sun coming up.  But I'm a morning person.

[Al_4_ISU 12,612]

14 hours ago, deadshank said:

The stupid bastard in my neighborhood that jogs in blue jeans.  
 

What a clown. 

There's a guy in my area who shows up for every 5K in a 60 mile radius in his blue jeans.

He's a 60 year old bachelor that probably has some form of undiagnosed autism.  When one of my friends sold his farm and moved into town, this guy bought the place and refused to use my buddy's old bedroom because my friend and his wife "had relations" in there.

[Js1 86,955]

4 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I love taking the dog out to piss when I wake up in the summer and seeing the sun coming up.  But I'm a morning person.

There's just something unseemly about the sun blazing at 5:30am when you're waking up with a hangover. 

[Al_4_ISU 12,612]

13 minutes ago, Js1 said:

There's just something unseemly about the sun blazing at 5:30am when you're waking up with a hangover. 

Yeah, even if I have a hangover I can't really sleep in, and my method of dealing with one is usually to just sweat it out ASAP.  So not a problem for me.

[Cheeseweasel 26,439]

I lived on the eastern edge of the Pacific time zone for a while. It was perfection. Didn't get dark until well after 9 in the summer. You could get 18 holes in after work if you hustled. 

[deadshank 24,654]

16 minutes ago, Js1 said:

There's just something unseemly about the sun blazing at 5:30am when you're waking up with a hangover. 

Who was the poster at TOS that was in the Navy and told the tale about the Captain turning the ship because the sun coming through a porthole in the officers’ mess was hitting him in the face while he was nursing a hangover?

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, I remember that story.  Sent it to my Navy vet uncle and he was completely unsurprised by it.  Who was that?   
 

I was always a “night owl”. Think better, see better, feel better.  But since covid, I get up at 4:30 or so.   So whatever that means for daylight, I guess I’m a “morning person”.  But I’m not.  As long as the kids sleep until 6:30/6:45 on the clock, regardless of what the sun does…I’m cool.  Morning sex with wife is one of the few remaining pleasures in life.  At night, particularly if we have to wait until 10pm for total darkness, she wants “connection” and back rubs ‘n shit like we’re at a church retreat.  If it’s still dark out in the early morning and kids are still asleep, she will just bang out a quickie with all the gusto I can handle.  
 

what are we talking about again?

[DougO 5,261]

When you're walking around in your socks with no shoes and you step in something wet.

[ImissWallyPryor 9,046]

55 minutes ago, DougO said:

When you're walking around in your socks with no shoes and you step in something wet.

So you have pets, too. 

[Superhero 8,994]

On 3/12/2022 at 5:56 PM, ztejas said:

I drove over a trash bag last night. Before I realized what had happened and was able to yank it out from under my car - a large part of the bag had melted to the underside of my car. It now smells like burning plastic any time I run the air. 

I guess I'm going to have to see if a neighbor has a jack that I can use to get under there and scrape the shit off. I don't even know how easily I can clean it off. 

Honestly this barely qualifies as trivial. It's a huge pain in my ass. 

So you’re saying a plastic bag melded onto your catalytic converter?

[Superhero 8,994]

On 3/13/2022 at 7:18 AM, Bevo&Pevo said:

No so trivial, but I saw regular unleaded for 4.59 a gallon in Kinder La. yesterday. 

$5.99/gallon regular in Southern California says hello. 

[ztejas 44,114]

9 minutes ago, Superhero said:

So you’re saying a plastic bag melded onto your catalytic converter?

Yep I think that's exactly what happened. And it was a large, black trash bag. 

Fortunately at this point the odor has basically dissipated.

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,246]

53 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

So you have pets, too. 

Or kids

[Superhero 8,994]

I can smell my kid’s shoes from across the room.

He’s a great kid, funny as hell, but everywhere he leaves his shoes and socks should be sealed off and declared a bio hazardous disaster zone.

Edited March 17, 2022 by Superhero

[Superhero 8,994]

My friends who BEGGED the soccer coaches so their son can play on the same team as my son.

At the “evaluation” practice (where they evaluate the kids, and split them evenly into teams so none are dominant), my boy scored 4 goals. Their kid spent the first 10 minutes kicking towards his own goal even though the coach kept yelling at him to go the other way. 
 

🤬
 

They said their son would “enjoy”’ soccer more if he played with mine. My kid takes soccer pretty seriously. The other boy has ADHD and a mom that gives him cookies before practice. FML. 

Edited March 17, 2022 by Superhero

[Sam Lin 3,591]

You need better friends.

[nnm 37,754]

2 hours ago, Superhero said:

My friends who BEGGED the soccer coaches so their son can play on the same team as my son.

At the “evaluation” practice (where they evaluate the kids, and split them evenly into teams so none are dominant), my boy scored 4 goals. Their kid spent the first 10 minutes kicking towards his own goal even though the coach kept yelling at him to go the other way. 
 

🤬
 

They said their son would “enjoy”’ soccer more if he played with mine. My kid takes soccer pretty seriously. The other boy has ADHD and a mom that gives him cookies before practice. FML. 

I bet the ADHD kid’s feet don’t stink, though. 

[Longhornstampede 3,208]

How hot is ADHD kid's mom?

[Guest Lobo]

29 minutes ago, Longhornstampede said:

How hot is ADHD kid's mom?

and does she need any comforting during these challenging times?

[Cheeseweasel 26,439]

4 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

You need better friends.

[Superhero 8,994]

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Better or fewer friends?

 

[Incredulity 11,861]

2 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Better or fewer friends?

 

[Guest Lobo]

On 3/15/2022 at 7:49 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

A Supposedly Fun Post I Will Never Read Again 

Good DFW reference, BTW.  FTW.  And other three-letter things...of that nature.

[High Plains Drifter 11,162]

On 3/16/2022 at 11:17 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I lived on the eastern edge of the Pacific time zone for a while. It was perfection. Didn't get dark until well after 9 in the summer. You could get 18 holes in after work if you hustled. 

 

people who feel the need to "hustle" while playing golf.

 

[Biff Tannen 46,063]

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

people who feel the need to "hustle" while playing golf.

 

people who don't let others play through

[High Plains Drifter 11,162]

 

I always let people play through.

 

 

[Sam Lin 3,591]

I always play though, regardless whether they're letting me play through. Fore!

Spoiler

Just kidding. Maybe.

 

[elfenix 34,661]

i played through your mom

[Js1 86,955]

13 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

people who feel the need to "hustle" while playing golf.

 

9th hole beers have been cancelled due to lack of hustle. 

[deadshank 24,654]

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.  
 

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

[High Plains Drifter 11,162]

2 hours ago, Js1 said:

9th hole beers have been cancelled due to lack of hustle. 

 

 

Generally, I try to stay at no more than one beer per hole, but whatever works for you.

 

 

[PRONG HORN 3,221]

5 hours ago, deadshank said:

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.  
 

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

 

The appalling part is the employee who doesn't say anything.  

 

[deadshank 24,654]

2 minutes ago, PRONG HORN said:

 

The appalling part is the employee who doesn't say anything.  

 

She had a slack-jawed look of terror.  Sweet Maritza was so mortified and crossed herself. 

[Sam Lin 3,591]

Pics of Maritza?

[WhatTheBuck 28,904]

21 hours ago, deadshank said:

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

I’ve probably mentioned this before. Once at the Indian buffet some dad let his shitty little son serve himself. The buffet was two pans deep and there was some saucy dish behind the pan of kebabs. Shitty kid proceeds to spill sauce on the kebabs as he’s trying to serve himself. And what does dad do? He selects the clean kebabs from the pan for himself, not the ones his little brat sullied with sauce. To this day I regret not making a scene and calling him out for that shit. 

[conVINCEd 21,477]

Opossums.  One penetrated the home.  Long day.

[conVINCEd 21,477]

On 3/18/2022 at 12:37 PM, deadshank said:

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.  
 

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

You should move.

[Scheiss Meister 8,452]

6 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Opossums.  One penetrated the home.  Long day.

A racoon getting trapped in your house while you are away for the weekend will make for a long Sunday night and a bad Monday's work.

[deadshank 24,654]

On 3/18/2022 at 7:06 PM, Sam Lin said:

Pics of Maritza?

She’s an old Hispanic woman.  If that’s what you like I can get a pic for you.  

[WhatTheBuck 28,904]

9 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Opossums.  One penetrated the home.  Long day.

Really? I’d think they’d be easy to remove while they’re playing dead. I hope you got the critter out safely.

A friend of mine once sent me a photo of a mother possum (do we still use the ‘o’?) in his backyard with a litter of pups clinging onto her back. I thought that was pretty cool. 

[conVINCEd 21,477]

28 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Really? I’d think they’d be easy to remove while they’re playing dead. I hope you got the critter out safely.

A friend of mine once sent me a photo of a mother possum (do we still use the ‘o’?) in his backyard with a litter of pups clinging onto her back. I thought that was pretty cool. 

Critter was released safely by a creek near the house.  The long day was: 1) repairing the hole it had gnawed in the soffit where a cable wire enters the house where a small gap gave it a nice starting point, and 2) convincing the wife, who was the first to encounter the creature while she was using the bathroom, that the house is now possum-free.  There are some sounds that will stick with you for the rest of your life.  I really just wanted to watch basketball all day.

[WhatTheBuck 28,904]

33 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

Critter was released safely by a creek near the house.  The long day was: 1) repairing the hole it had gnawed in the soffit where a cable wire enters the house where a small gap gave it a nice starting point, and 2) convincing the wife, who was the first to encounter the creature while she was using the bathroom, that the house is now possum-free.  There are some sounds that will stick with you for the rest of your life.  I really just wanted to watch basketball all day.

I’m picturing your wife sitting on the can when a possum walks in and her saying, “Whoa, possum!” which is a line in the psychedelic rockabilly Phish song Possum. It’s a great song. As I listen to it I can imagine it being the soundtrack to you chasing the possum all around your house. But I can also understand why many people aren’t turned on by the sometimes overly self-indulgence of jam bands. And I figured maybe I shouldn’t post it at all. But then I figured, what the fuck. (The inspiration for my username when I first decided to join this community). You don’t have to listen. And many probably shouldn’t. But I’ll post two examples so anyone who’s interested can hear how wildly different the same song can be played. That’s the jazz influence on jam bands. The psychedelic influence is something else. (Also, early Phish is best Phish. They peaked in the 90’s.) Please forgive my impertinence.