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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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This applies to a lot of places on-line (Reddit is terrible) but reposts piss me off something fierce.   Something will literally be 2 or 3 posts back and some dimwitted jackhole puts it up again.   And the worst is when it's gif from 6 months or more back and some times years back.   Really, dipshit, you didn't think that we hadn't already seen the chick falling out of the barrel while stomping grapes?   

 

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Round toilet seats. We’re staying in a condo this week and both bathrooms have a round toilet seat. Who likes these things? You feel like you’re perched on a fence pole. You have to tuck your junk every time you sit down. You scrap your junk on the seat every time you stand up. These things suck.

Team oblong all fucking day.

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  On 3/14/2022 at 6:26 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I live a five iron away from Mountain Time Zone. I don’t relish the thought of a 9 am sunrise during the winter. I also like 9:30 pm sunsets during the summer. Our vacation home is in the eastern part of Mountain Time, so its dark before 5 pm during the winter and light by 5 am during the summer. That early winter darkness is not my favorite thing, but I’d rather not have it getting light at 4 am during the summer, either. I’m fine with the minor inconvenience of adjusting my clocks twice a year. 

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One of my least favorite parts of living in Denver was the period of 5:30am sunrises.  Holy hell, turn that bitch off, I'm sleeping. 

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  On 3/16/2022 at 1:22 AM, deadshank said:

The stupid bastard in my neighborhood that jogs in blue jeans.  
 

What a clown. 

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There's a guy in my area who shows up for every 5K in a 60 mile radius in his blue jeans.

He's a 60 year old bachelor that probably has some form of undiagnosed autism.  When one of my friends sold his farm and moved into town, this guy bought the place and refused to use my buddy's old bedroom because my friend and his wife "had relations" in there.

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  On 3/16/2022 at 3:59 PM, Js1 said:

There's just something unseemly about the sun blazing at 5:30am when you're waking up with a hangover. 

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Who was the poster at TOS that was in the Navy and told the tale about the Captain turning the ship because the sun coming through a porthole in the officers’ mess was hitting him in the face while he was nursing a hangover?

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Yeah, I remember that story.  Sent it to my Navy vet uncle and he was completely unsurprised by it.  Who was that?   
 

I was always a “night owl”. Think better, see better, feel better.  But since covid, I get up at 4:30 or so.   So whatever that means for daylight, I guess I’m a “morning person”.  But I’m not.  As long as the kids sleep until 6:30/6:45 on the clock, regardless of what the sun does…I’m cool.  Morning sex with wife is one of the few remaining pleasures in life.  At night, particularly if we have to wait until 10pm for total darkness, she wants “connection” and back rubs ‘n shit like we’re at a church retreat.  If it’s still dark out in the early morning and kids are still asleep, she will just bang out a quickie with all the gusto I can handle.  
 

what are we talking about again?

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  On 3/13/2022 at 1:56 AM, ztejas said:

I drove over a trash bag last night. Before I realized what had happened and was able to yank it out from under my car - a large part of the bag had melted to the underside of my car. It now smells like burning plastic any time I run the air. 

I guess I'm going to have to see if a neighbor has a jack that I can use to get under there and scrape the shit off. I don't even know how easily I can clean it off. 

Honestly this barely qualifies as trivial. It's a huge pain in my ass. 

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So you’re saying a plastic bag melded onto your catalytic converter?

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My friends who BEGGED the soccer coaches so their son can play on the same team as my son.

At the “evaluation” practice (where they evaluate the kids, and split them evenly into teams so none are dominant), my boy scored 4 goals. Their kid spent the first 10 minutes kicking towards his own goal even though the coach kept yelling at him to go the other way. 
 

🤬
 

They said their son would “enjoy”’ soccer more if he played with mine. My kid takes soccer pretty seriously. The other boy has ADHD and a mom that gives him cookies before practice. FML. 

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  On 3/17/2022 at 6:15 AM, Superhero said:

My friends who BEGGED the soccer coaches so their son can play on the same team as my son.

At the “evaluation” practice (where they evaluate the kids, and split them evenly into teams so none are dominant), my boy scored 4 goals. Their kid spent the first 10 minutes kicking towards his own goal even though the coach kept yelling at him to go the other way. 
 

🤬
 

They said their son would “enjoy”’ soccer more if he played with mine. My kid takes soccer pretty seriously. The other boy has ADHD and a mom that gives him cookies before practice. FML. 

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I bet the ADHD kid’s feet don’t stink, though. 

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  On 3/16/2022 at 4:17 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

I lived on the eastern edge of the Pacific time zone for a while. It was perfection. Didn't get dark until well after 9 in the summer. You could get 18 holes in after work if you hustled. 

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people who feel the need to "hustle" while playing golf.

 

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The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.  
 

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

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  On 3/18/2022 at 5:37 PM, deadshank said:

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.  
 

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

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The appalling part is the employee who doesn't say anything.  

 

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  On 3/18/2022 at 5:37 PM, deadshank said:

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

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I’ve probably mentioned this before. Once at the Indian buffet some dad let his shitty little son serve himself. The buffet was two pans deep and there was some saucy dish behind the pan of kebabs. Shitty kid proceeds to spill sauce on the kebabs as he’s trying to serve himself. And what does dad do? He selects the clean kebabs from the pan for himself, not the ones his little brat sullied with sauce. To this day I regret not making a scene and calling him out for that shit. 

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  On 3/18/2022 at 5:37 PM, deadshank said:

The asshole in front of me at Luby’s.  Cocksucker reaches over the glass sneeze guard with his grubby paw to point out which piece of chicken, which vegetables and dinner roll he wants.  He didn’t  just kind of reach over, he got his booger hooks over and within an inch of each item and his smelly armpit was rubbing on the top of the sneeze guard.  
 

I was appalled.  What a jackass. 

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You should move.

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  On 3/21/2022 at 5:12 AM, conVINCEd said:

Opossums.  One penetrated the home.  Long day.

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Really? I’d think they’d be easy to remove while they’re playing dead. I hope you got the critter out safely.

A friend of mine once sent me a photo of a mother possum (do we still use the ‘o’?) in his backyard with a litter of pups clinging onto her back. I thought that was pretty cool. 

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  On 3/21/2022 at 2:31 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Really? I’d think they’d be easy to remove while they’re playing dead. I hope you got the critter out safely.

A friend of mine once sent me a photo of a mother possum (do we still use the ‘o’?) in his backyard with a litter of pups clinging onto her back. I thought that was pretty cool. 

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Critter was released safely by a creek near the house.  The long day was: 1) repairing the hole it had gnawed in the soffit where a cable wire enters the house where a small gap gave it a nice starting point, and 2) convincing the wife, who was the first to encounter the creature while she was using the bathroom, that the house is now possum-free.  There are some sounds that will stick with you for the rest of your life.  I really just wanted to watch basketball all day.

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  On 3/21/2022 at 3:11 PM, conVINCEd said:

Critter was released safely by a creek near the house.  The long day was: 1) repairing the hole it had gnawed in the soffit where a cable wire enters the house where a small gap gave it a nice starting point, and 2) convincing the wife, who was the first to encounter the creature while she was using the bathroom, that the house is now possum-free.  There are some sounds that will stick with you for the rest of your life.  I really just wanted to watch basketball all day.

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I’m picturing your wife sitting on the can when a possum walks in and her saying, “Whoa, possum!” which is a line in the psychedelic rockabilly Phish song Possum. It’s a great song. As I listen to it I can imagine it being the soundtrack to you chasing the possum all around your house. But I can also understand why many people aren’t turned on by the sometimes overly self-indulgence of jam bands. And I figured maybe I shouldn’t post it at all. But then I figured, what the fuck. (The inspiration for my username when I first decided to join this community). You don’t have to listen. And many probably shouldn’t. But I’ll post two examples so anyone who’s interested can hear how wildly different the same song can be played. That’s the jazz influence on jam bands. The psychedelic influence is something else. (Also, early Phish is best Phish. They peaked in the 90’s.) Please forgive my impertinence.

 

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