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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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After irth

After irth 1,243

Posted
Posted
22 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Have a neighbor who lives a mile down the road.  An acquaintance, if you will.  I delivered 5-6 tons of horse manure to his house the other day, and he asked if I would mind bringing my tractor down to help him move it around (he's using it as mulch along a border tree line).  

N - How much you want?

Me - $10 should cover it.  Shouldn't take me too long.

N - Nah.  I want it to be worth it for your time.  How about $30?

Me - Tell you what, I have an empty 6 gallon can of diesel that you can just fill up for me (this should be $18)

N - I'll just drop $20 off to you tomorrow.  That should do it.  Thanks, man!

------

(Today)

N - Hey, I put that money in the passenger seat of your car.

Me - Roger.  Thanks.

... I go out and get the money after a bit... $10.

 

$10 is completely fine with me.  It's the fact that HE said he would give me $20, then reneged.  Bush league shit right there. 

Livin’ the dream!

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Archer

Archer 474

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Posted
1 hour ago, BearSchlong said:

My fiance will not pee in a convenience store bathroom unless she buys something while she is there. She says it's a quid pro quo thing.

If I stop in a small mom and pop I always try to buy a little something, I grew up in the store my grandfather ran so I’m partial to them. Mega stores it’s in and out. 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45,691

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Anybody else have to live with a wife who consistently places a wash cloth out instead of a clean hand towel on vanitys? Both of our upstairs bathrooms have clothe which is completely ruining the wash cloth to body towel ratio and the rest of my weekend.
 

fzm.gif

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mdmost

mdmost 43,004

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Fucking 2005 car is falling apart. Back driver and front passenger windows don’t roll down. Fucking gear shift button broke off tonight in the driveway. I have to shove my thumb into where the button once was to depress the lever so I can move out of park to reverse or drive. Replacement gear shift buttton doesn’t come till Tuesday. Hey, but no car payment!!!! Kill me.

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Anton Chigurh

Anton Chigurh 3,319

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Fucking 2005 car is falling apart. Back driver and front passenger windows don’t roll down. Fucking gear shift button broke off tonight in the driveway. I have to shove my thumb into where the button once was to depress the lever so I can move out of park to reverse or drive. Replacement gear shift buttton doesn’t come till Tuesday. Hey, but no car payment!!!! Kill me.


Fuck!
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elfenix

elfenix 34,266

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Fucking 2005 car is falling apart. Back driver and front passenger windows don’t roll down. Fucking gear shift button broke off tonight in the driveway. I have to shove my thumb into where the button once was to depress the lever so I can move out of park to reverse or drive. Replacement gear shift buttton doesn’t come till Tuesday. Hey, but no car payment!!!! Kill me.
Cars only have 2 virtues. 1) it's paid for; 2) it's never left me stranded. Everything else is a luxury.

Seems like you may be on the verge of losing #2.
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mdmost

mdmost 43,004

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, elfenix said:

Cars only have 2 virtues. 1) it's paid for; 2) it's never left me stranded. Everything else is a luxury.

Seems like you may be on the verge of losing #2.

The windows not rolling down is a trivial thing as the driver's side front rolls down just fine...for now. The rest all don't need to roll down. The passenger front one is a beating as I have to exit the vehicle to speak to someone on that side of the car. The car doesn't even have 200,000 miles on it. Again, drives great. Just has these cosmetic issues cropping up more and more. I'm now getting 80s car cloud liner in the back where my youngest used to try to touch the ceiling. I'm convinced she pulled it loose somehow. Not shocking, her side of the car is the one with the window that now doesn't roll down. The gear shift was more of a worry till I figured out how to get it to still work. 

4 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

When someone walks into a room and turns on the light, then exits the room and leaves the light on.

Yes. I've really turned into my dad on this one. Wife is the biggest offender.

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Stoogey

Stoogey 219

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Posted
3 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Do people use washcloths still?  I've been using one of those plastic poof ball things for years. 

Washcloths are okay. Poof ball things are good. Loofahs are better. 

fHN6Ee9z_o.jpg

Salux exfoliating washcloths are the best. A new level of clean. And it is 11" X 35" / 28cm X 90cm - big enough to scrub your own back. 

Trust me.

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elfenix

elfenix 34,266

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Washcloths are okay. Poof ball things are good. Loofahs are better. 

 

fHN6Ee9z_o.jpg

 

Salux exfoliating washcloths are the best. A new level of clean. And it is 11" X 35" / 28cm X 90cm - big enough to scrub your own back. 

 

Trust me.

Does this clean well enough to make asshole bleaching unnecessary? Asking for a friend.

 

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Deej

Deej 76,814

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On 8/14/2018 at 8:04 PM, 'stache said:

We have pay by phone parking downtown now. Really convenient, but I rarely use it because my parking garage is a 5 minute walk to most thinks and I’m a $5 Uber away.

 

Electric scooters, bro.

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mdmost

mdmost 43,004

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1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

People who won't stfu about whatever fad diet they're on. This twat made us drive 45 minutes out of the way for some gluten free shit. I ask her if she's celiac, and all I get is a blank stare.

"What's that?" She asks 

You have a gun to your head? She made you?

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Lat22

Lat22 4,014

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Posted
1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

People who won't stfu about whatever fad diet they're on. This twat made us drive 45 minutes out of the way for some gluten free shit. I ask her if she's celiac, and all I get is a blank stare.

"What's that?" She asks 

Hell yes.  Think I’ve posted about that on this thread. 4 couples headed out for dinner. Must find a restaurant because one wife is on the whole 30 diet. 

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'stache

'stache 21,817

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45 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

Hell yes.  Think I’ve posted about that on this thread. 4 couples headed out for dinner. Must find a restaurant because one wife is on the whole 30 diet. 

Weigh this against having fat wives. The fact that any person diets means they care to not be fat.  I fully encourage my wife when she goes on a diet because I have plenty of friends whose wives got fat by not caring.  My wife put on a lot of weight during pregnancy (a month of bedrest didn't help) and has gotten a lot of it off.  She wants to do better.  I'm totally cool with that, even if we have to eat at different restaurants.  Even "gluten free" diets for non-celiacs will often result in slimming down.  I'm not on any particular diet but I'm trying to avoid added sugars and processed wheat.  The body processes white flour like sugar, and it's not good.  Of all the fad diets, Whole 30 is close to my general approach to food, but I don't follow any particular diet religiously.  I like the book Diet Cults by Matt Fitzgerald.  It breaks down the silly fads and offers a holistic view on healthy eating that doesn't require any stupid strict rules.  

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tfoolry

tfoolry 8,215

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Posted
On 8/19/2018 at 12:28 PM, Stoogey said:

Washcloths are okay. Poof ball things are good. Loofahs are better. 

fHN6Ee9z_o.jpg

Salux exfoliating washcloths are the best. A new level of clean. And it is 11" X 35" / 28cm X 90cm - big enough to scrub your own back. 

Trust me.

 

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9,083

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Posted
25 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Has it been mentioned that shredded lettuce on sandwiches is quite possibly the stupidest idea ever?  Maybe 20% actually stays in the sandwich.  

Shredded lettuce, unless its got some actual nutritional value or flavor (which iceberg lettuce has neither) is even more stoopiderer

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Homercles

Homercles 10,206

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Posted
I see this as a preventative measure for potential kids/animals running throughout the neighborhood.  It's precautionary, as long as the driver is paying attention to his surroundings.  Women who do it?  Then they'd fit your gripe, I assume.


Ok lemme clarify...those that drive down the dead center but don’t move over for oncoming traffic. There...HAPPY???!!
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Homercles

Homercles 10,206

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How about the people walking down the middle of the street when there are perfectly good sidewalks on both sides of the street. Then they look at you like you’re the asshole when you try to get past them.


There are a group of moms that power walk with their strollers each morning that walk on the road. Seems kinda risky to me, just to be able to talk. Go to the park trails where there aren’t cars going 30mph
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deadshank

deadshank 24,653

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31 minutes ago, Homercles said:

 


There are a group of moms that power walk with their strollers each morning that walk on the road. Seems kinda risky to me, just to be able to talk. Go to the park trails where there aren’t cars going 30mph

 

I get this foolishness in my neighborhood.  I just stop in my lane in front of them. The get mouthy and flap their bingo arms like the ugly "triggered girl."  I'll roll my window down for further clarification from the fat old bitches and how "we're walking here!!!"  

I just smile and tell them "OK , I'll just drive on the sidewalk."  That response always gets jaws dropping like a soufflé at a gun club. 

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