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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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5 hours ago, elfenix said:

people who ask you how your weekend was just so that they can talk at you for 10 minutes about all the dumb pointless shit they did over their weekend. 

When a superior who never talks to you asks, "How's your family?"

Bitch you don't care.  You can't even tell me what my kids do or what my wife's name is( insert surly comment here!)

It's like they read a book about "connecting with employees" written for people who need a fucking book for that shit...

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22 hours ago, nnm said:

Whenever we had a road trip or plane flight when our now-grown kids were young, they had to take their vitamins before departure. Yep, children’s Benadryl. Worked like a charm. 
They’re all fine now, not a druggie among them. 

My mom admitted she did this alot with us growing up on trips. I make sure to bring it up when she says I smell like weed. Brother and sister don't smoke though

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My mom, a nurse, used to give me Benadryl when I had trouble falling asleep back when I was about 5 years old. I don’t think there was such a thing as children’s Benadryl back then. If I brought it up to her now, I think she’d deny any memory of it. She has selective amnesia in her old age. 

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17 hours ago, Superhero said:

When you split the check ___ ways, and end up paying for someone's 3 cocktails when you've only had a glass of water.

Uh, no.  If I have a pop or 3 or, say, order something expensive and one check comes for a multi-person table then I always make sure I’m beyond equitable by chipping in more. 
 

Likewise, I’ll call out Mr. 3 Martinis on piling up expensive stuff for himself and let him know to keep his wallet out until the bitter end.  Friggin cheapskate free loader trying to chop a big ticket. Don’t be a dick. 

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3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Uh, no.  If I have a pop or 3 or, say, order something expensive and one check comes for a multi-person table then I always make sure I’m beyond equitable by chipping in more. 
 

Likewise, I’ll call out Mr. 3 Martinis on piling up expensive stuff for himself and let him know to keep his wallet out until the bitter end.  Friggin cheapskate free loader trying to chop a big ticket. Don’t be a dick. 

Are you from Pittsburgh or something?  

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14 hours ago, Okie State said:
21 hours ago, Superhero said:
When you split the check ___ ways, and end up paying for someone's 3 cocktails when you've only had a glass of water.

If there is any chance the check gets split you gotta up your drink game to match the rest of the table.

This.  They may not say it on record but every waiter hates separate checks because it just slows everything down.  How do I do it?  "Looks like I owe 80, you guys 70 each, etc" and then the table says "who gives a shit about 10 bucks, lets just divide it by 3"  Or we also just take turns paying and there's also this thing called Venmo.  No reason to put your waiter through separate checks "can you split the appetizer three ways too please."  Stop acting like a poor or start dining with friends you trust.  Actually even when I was a poor we didn't do separate checks.

 

So, next time you're dining out and wondering "where the heck is my waiter" it's probably because he's tending to a table of five separate checks where none of the parties remembered having that glass of merlot or that "what the Caesar salad is an upcharge?"  Then they each pay with a 100.00 bill and waiter has to make change for each of them, with the coins.

Edited by closetohumping
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13 hours ago, slorch said:

When a superior who never talks to you asks, "How's your family?"

Bitch you don't care.  You can't even tell me what my kids do or what my wife's name is( insert surly comment here!)

It's like they read a book about "connecting with employees" written for people who need a fucking book for that shit...

Had this one manager do this and I hated his guts.  He didn't care, but he read some book about building rapport with your direct reports so it never sailes he'd open with "what'd you do this weekend?  Did it rain up there?"  It's like "bitch let's get to the pipeline>"

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When a superior who never talks to you asks, "How's your family?"
Bitch you don't care.  You can't even tell me what my kids do or what my wife's name is( insert surly comment here!)
It's like they read a book about "connecting with employees" written for people who need a fucking book for that shit...

Truth.

And it’s usually in some shallow social setting. I’ve always wanted to give a real answer: well I can’t get my got damn wife to stop chewing me out, I have to randomly drug test my daughter because she won’t stop smoking pot on her own and it’s not good for someone diagnosed with depression and add. My brother in law just got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which has also spread to his brain. How about yours?
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16 hours ago, slorch said:

When a superior who never talks to you asks, "How's your family?"

Bitch you don't care.  You can't even tell me what my kids do or what my wife's name is( insert surly comment here!)

It's like they read a book about "connecting with employees" written for people who need a fucking book for that shit...

Worse is when a meeting is about resolving some serious ongoing problem and they start in with a bunch of candy coated pleasantries. 

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20 hours ago, closetohumping said:

This.  They may not say it on record but every waiter hates separate checks because it just slows everything down.  How do I do it?  "Looks like I owe 80, you guys 70 each, etc" and then the table says "who gives a shit about 10 bucks, lets just divide it by 3"  Or we also just take turns paying and there's also this thing called Venmo.  No reason to put your waiter through separate checks "can you split the appetizer three ways too please."  Stop acting like a poor or start dining with friends you trust.  Actually even when I was a poor we didn't do separate checks.

 

So, next time you're dining out and wondering "where the heck is my waiter" it's probably because he's tending to a table of five separate checks where none of the parties remembered having that glass of merlot or that "what the Caesar salad is an upcharge?"  Then they each pay with a 100.00 bill and waiter has to make change for each of them, with the coins.

 

not a fan of splitting checks, but honestly the real root problem behind this is (1) cash (2) central payment kiosk.

splitting checks is easy elsewhere in the world:  server carries handheld device that has table's order.  each person says what they had.  server taps the items directly on the device.  person taps their card to the device.  done.  receipt prints directly from device.

no reason for server to run back and from from the table to keep track of the order, reprint the bills, takes credit card to charge, and bring back the signature slips, etc.

the fact that venmo helps the split indicates the technical solution exists.  its just the restaurant are reluctant to adopt it.

Edited by 52-80
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12 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

 

not a fan of splitting checks, but honestly the real root problem behind this is (1) cash (2) central payment kiosk.

splitting checks is easy elsewhere in the world:  server carries handheld device that has table's order.  each person says what they had.  server taps the items directly on the device.  person taps their card to the device.  done.  receipt prints directly from device.

no reason for server to run back and from from the table to keep track of the order, reprint the bills, takes credit card to charge, and bring back the signature slips, etc.

the fact that venmo helps the split indicates the technical solution exists.  its just the restaurant are reluctant to adopt it.

Good counterpoint.  I’ve seen some tableside kiosks But I only see those at places like Chilis and Red Robin I think?   
 

back in the day I’ve had tables that requested 15 separate checks.  
 

like I said it depends on the gathering.  There’s never been a setting where I’ve needed separate checks

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36 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

 

back in the day I’ve had tables that requested 15 separate checks.  
 

To this day, I still see some sap go through the serving line at Luby’s and make anywhere from  5 - 10 individual and customized to-go orders and then proceed to the cashier and individually pay for each order one at a time.  
 

Close out order, pay, receive change, put change in an envelope. 
 

Pull out a different envelope, pay, receive change, put change in envelope. 

Dot dot dot

Hold up the entire line to slop some sounder of pigs in an office somewhere and give them their correct change.  

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Dumb high school kids.

Neighbors behind us two doors down must be out of town because there was a really noisy kegger going on after 10:30 to midnight last night. Quite a ruckus when the Wilco sheriff’s deputies raided the place. Kids panicked and scattered like cockroaches, several of them climbing & vaulting over my back wood privacy fence and running through the side yards gates. Next door too. I dunno who called it in, but most of the surrounding houses heard it all, and the deputies Spent at least another hour until 1am looking all over with their flashlights. I went out and showed one of them the broken fence picket where some kid vaulted over, but wasn’t quite as athletic as the others. Coach Floreal doesn’t need to recruit him. Lol

The host must’ve been near the bottom of his class if he didn’t know the proper way to rubn a kegger without attracting attention to ruin it.

we didn’t get back to sleep until after 2am.

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22 hours ago, closetohumping said:

This.  They may not say it on record but every waiter hates separate checks because it just slows everything down.  How do I do it?  "Looks like I owe 80, you guys 70 each, etc" and then the table says "who gives a shit about 10 bucks, lets just divide it by 3"  Or we also just take turns paying and there's also this thing called Venmo.  No reason to put your waiter through separate checks "can you split the appetizer three ways too please."  Stop acting like a poor or start dining with friends you trust.  Actually even when I was a poor we didn't do separate checks.

 

So, next time you're dining out and wondering "where the heck is my waiter" it's probably because he's tending to a table of five separate checks where none of the parties remembered having that glass of merlot or that "what the Caesar salad is an upcharge?"  Then they each pay with a 100.00 bill and waiter has to make change for each of them, with the coins.

I’m my college town everyone was broke and the restaurants had special buttons to charge 1/3 or 1/5 an order of cheese fries on each ticket to split orders. I knew some of the waiters, they were used to it, no big deal. The drinks were allocated by person, except for pitchers which could be split by percent. Not that hard, really. And in general they usually ask before hand if they’re separate tickets or all together. It’s only when you spring it on them at the end and ask for a perfect 4 way split or something that it becomes a pain. As a grown up with friends who all do fine income wise, yea it’s much easier and common for one person to pay, for me and the people I socialize with at least. As for the original post on the topic, even split with a non drinker, who does that? In my few experiences of that we were all pretty similar in our drinks.

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58 minutes ago, deadshank said:

To this day, I still see some sap go through the serving line at Luby’s and make anywhere from  5 - 10 individual and customized to-go orders and then proceed to the cashier and individually pay for each order one at a time.  
 

Close out order, pay, receive change, put change in an envelope. 
 

Pull out a different envelope, pay, receive change, put change in envelope. 

Dot dot dot

Hold up the entire line to slop some sounder of pigs in an office somewhere and give them their correct change.  

Precisely and then the 4 or five customers behind will blame the cashier because they're just not very aware.

36 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I’m my college town everyone was broke and the restaurants had special buttons to charge 1/3 or 1/5 an order of cheese fries on each ticket to split orders. I knew some of the waiters, they were used to it, no big deal. The drinks were allocated by person, except for pitchers which could be split by percent. Not that hard, really. And in general they usually ask before hand if they’re separate tickets or all together. It’s only when you spring it on them at the end and ask for a perfect 4 way split or something that it becomes a pain. As a grown up with friends who all do fine income wise, yea it’s much easier and common for one person to pay, for me and the people I socialize with at least. As for the original post on the topic, even split with a non drinker, who does that? In my few experiences of that we were all pretty similar in our drinks.

I don't necessarily mean an even split, but I don't or didn't hang with non drinkers.  But it was usually, "ok I had the freelet mignon, two glasses of wine, tip tax, I should be good at 60?"  Everyone I've hung out with overpays even if they were poor. Again, maybe it's who you run with but I'd shun anyone that doesn't step up when they had the lobster, 4 Mexican merlots.  I'd certainly call someone out if that happens.  These days we just play credit card roulette. 

 

Also depends on the system the restaurant uses.  But the split is one part, then doing the payments, tying up a terminal, neglecting your other patrons becomes a PITA.

 

 

I've worked in several restaurants.  I've never known servers who were happy about separate checks but they deal with it because it's their job.  

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1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

these people should be issued a scarlet letter so that they're never allowed in restaurants again

Picture working next to a downtown convention center.  Group of 15 shows up and ALL separate checks.  And get this, they all want to leave at different times. Not an everyday thing, but it happens.

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25 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Picture working next to a downtown convention center.  Group of 15 shows up and ALL separate checks.  And get this, they all want to leave at different times. Not an everyday thing, but it happens.

That is really over the top.

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2 hours ago, deadshank said:

To this day, I still see some sap go through the serving line at Luby’s and make anywhere from  5 - 10 individual and customized to-go orders and then proceed to the cashier and individually pay for each order one at a time.  
 

Close out order, pay, receive change, put change in an envelope. 
 

Pull out a different envelope, pay, receive change, put change in envelope. 

Dot dot dot

Hold up the entire line to slop some sounder of pigs in an office somewhere and give them their correct change.  

Thing I learned today: a group of swine is a sounder.

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1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Precisely and then the 4 or five customers behind will blame the cashier because they're just not very aware.

I don't necessarily mean an even split, but I don't or didn't hang with non drinkers.  But it was usually, "ok I had the freelet mignon, two glasses of wine, tip tax, I should be good at 60?"  Everyone I've hung out with overpays even if they were poor. Again, maybe it's who you run with but I'd shun anyone that doesn't step up when they had the lobster, 4 Mexican merlots.  I'd certainly call someone out if that happens.  These days we just play credit card roulette. 

 

Also depends on the system the restaurant uses.  But the split is one part, then doing the payments, tying up a terminal, neglecting your other patrons becomes a PITA.

 

 

I've worked in several restaurants.  I've never known servers who were happy about separate checks but they deal with it because it's their job.  

It's mostly women who ask for separate checks.  They're incapable of understanding "I'll get this round, and you get the next.  and so on" 

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The only time I've needed separate checks is when traveling for business with colleagues and we are on expense accounts from different employers.  If it's up to me though, we're sitting at the bar.  Let them know upon ordering that it will be separate checks and why, never any issues.

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4 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Picture working next to a downtown convention center.  Group of 15 shows up and ALL separate checks.  And get this, they all want to leave at different times. Not an everyday thing, but it happens.

Never worked restaurant industry, so don't hammer me for these questions:

I totally get the last second, "OBTW, we need separate checks, " being a bullshit move;  but if they tell you straight up from the jump they are 15 separate tickets, is this different from 15 other individual customers?

Does the concentration of them at 1/2/3 tables help or cause problems?  Is 15 individual customers realistic for one waiter or is it a bullshit assignment?

 

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4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It's a pain in the ass, regardless, but it's a bigger pain in the ass if you've already entered the ticket and need to split it up. 

If you are going to split the ticket, just do it at the table amongst yourselves you cheap fuckers.

I agree.  I tend to run my own money laundering operation and run the total tab on my card and let the peasants run their dirty cash through my hands.  There are some known fucktards like those mentioned upthread who will order a couple of cocktails or whatever and try to pay like they ordered water.  usually one of my brothers.

 

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25 minutes ago, shakahorn said:

The only time I've needed separate checks is when traveling for business with colleagues and we are on expense accounts from different employers.  If it's up to me though, we're sitting at the bar.  Let them know upon ordering that it will be separate checks and why, never any issues.

I was just trying to think of the last time I needed separate checks. And this was probably it. I work one place that wouldn't reimburse alcohol, so I had to separate those, but I always told the waiter/bartender ahead of time and it wasn't a big deal.

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3 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I was just trying to think of the last time I needed separate checks. And this was probably it. I work one place that wouldn't reimburse alcohol, so I had to separate those, but I always told the waiter/bartender ahead of time and it wasn't a big deal.

Tell him to ring them up as "onion rings" and he'll get a big tip. Win/Win

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We had a little time before our movie last weekend so we went to Pieology. Basically a pizza place where you select a crust and the toppings and they would bake it for you.

There was a party of 3 in front of us ordering 4 pizza and taking for fucking ever.

One of the workers got the crust ready and then said she couldn’t help us with the toppings because that’s the other person’s job (and I would be jumping the line). I gave her the WTF look, give her manager the are-you-fucking-serious look. The manager told her to just do it.

We got our pizza about 7 minutes while the group in front of us were stilling picking their toppings…

Not sure if she was just stupid or it’s their restaurant’s policy. But I’m thinking she was just an idiot. 

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So I had to go to Beaumont this weekend.  I took 99, The Grand Parkway from I-45 to I-10.  Who in the ever living fuck thought it was a good idea to build a fucking toll road with one fucking lane?  Go fuck yourself.  Drove into Houston on the way back cause fuck that road.

To continue the rant, the GP is just a bad fucking idea anyway.  They made it for hurricane evacuations, but it goes in a fucking circle.  And since you built the damn thing anyway, why didn't you do it right?  It already needs to be widened cause it is undersized.  It is a road in the middle of nowhere that goes nowhere and it is already too small.

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11 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

 And since you built the damn thing anyway, why didn't you do it right?  It already needs to be widened cause it is undersized.  It is a road in the middle of nowhere that goes nowhere and it is already too small.

It wasn’t built for hurricane evacuations. It wasn’t built for convenience or traffic congestion. 

Look at property value trends in the area around the GP route  Look at those values 20 years ago. Look at them today. Look at the individuals and companies that quietly bought up massive tracts in that envelope 30 years ago. 

That’s why the GP was built. You’re playing checkers. They’re playing chess. 

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Just now, nnm said:

It wasn’t built for hurricane evacuations. It wasn’t built for convenience or traffic congestion. 

Look at property value trends in the area around the GP route  Look at those values 20 years ago. Look at them today. Look at the individuals and companies that quietly bought up massive tracts in that envelope 30 years ago. 

That’s why the GP was built. You’re playing checkers. They’re playing chess. 

I am aware it was built to make land owners money.  But it was sold to the public as a hurricane evacuation route.

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I love Vietnamese food and my hood has a really good Vietnamese joint. Since I am working from home a lot, I find myself there a couple of times a week. I usually sit right in front of the register as it’s not a big restaurant and I usually can hear what people order. With their rice plates they offer a fried egg on top (which is delicious). They ask how you want the egg. More than a few times I hear people order something other than runny. What in the everloving fuck is that about? Why?! The point is for the yolk to run down into the rice and mix with the fish sauce and sriracha. Goddamn what is wrong with you?

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3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

I am aware it was built to make land owners money.  But it was sold to the public as a hurricane evacuation route.

Hurricanes leave on their own route...

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On 6/24/2022 at 11:24 AM, slorch said:

Never worked restaurant industry, so don't hammer me for these questions:

I totally get the last second, "OBTW, we need separate checks, " being a bullshit move;  but if they tell you straight up from the jump they are 15 separate tickets, is this different from 15 other individual customers?

Does the concentration of them at 1/2/3 tables help or cause problems?  Is 15 individual customers realistic for one waiter or is it a bullshit assignment?

 

Good question.  It's still just a lot of work.  If you're asking if I would rather have 15 different checks at one table vs 15 different checks at 15 tables obviously I would prefer the former because at least it's self contained and as a general rule, the people at the 1 table know when someone at the table is being a dick (this tartar sauce is not fresh, last time there was more scrimps, they didn't charge for avocados last time).  Usually.  But, also, no decent restaurant would give a waiter a section with more than 4-6 tables. Service usually suffers the more customers you have but as usual, one table or customer can fuck your day up.  

 

So yes, 15 at one table is self-contained to that one table, but if you have other tables as well, it can obviously get worse.  But, let's say I have 15 checks for 15 different tables , I guess the advantage there is I know which check belongs to which table?  Bottom line is you gotta be organizaed.

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On 6/25/2022 at 4:54 PM, Superhero said:

We had a little time before our movie last weekend so we went to Pieology. Basically a pizza place where you select a crust and the toppings and they would bake it for you.

There was a party of 3 in front of us ordering 4 pizza and taking for fucking ever.

One of the workers got the crust ready and then said she couldn’t help us with the toppings because that’s the other person’s job (and I would be jumping the line). I gave her the WTF look, give her manager the are-you-fucking-serious look. The manager told her to just do it.

We got our pizza about 7 minutes while the group in front of us were stilling picking their toppings…

Not sure if she was just stupid or it’s their restaurant’s policy. But I’m thinking she was just an idiot. 

Policy.  IF the manager had to say something that means approval was needed.  I think it's kind of like Subway right?  Can't jump to the dressing section?  

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On 6/24/2022 at 11:42 AM, Jameslaw121 said:

I was just trying to think of the last time I needed separate checks. And this was probably it. I work one place that wouldn't reimburse alcohol, so I had to separate those, but I always told the waiter/bartender ahead of time and it wasn't a big deal.

Yea, even with that, I'll submit the entire receipt and just circle what I had.  As long as I don't go over per diem (which is also a bullshit rule) they don't care much

On 6/24/2022 at 11:36 AM, slorch said:

I agree.  I tend to run my own money laundering operation and run the total tab on my card and let the peasants run their dirty cash through my hands.  There are some known fucktards like those mentioned upthread who will order a couple of cocktails or whatever and try to pay like they ordered water.  usually one of my brothers.

 

Yep, there are cheap fuckers out there but if you have money in the bank, what's a couple of 8.95 daquiris.  I don't get it but I'm not cheap nor broke.

On 6/24/2022 at 11:28 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

It's a pain in the ass, regardless, but it's a bigger pain in the ass if you've already entered the ticket and need to split it up. 

If you are going to split the ticket, just do it at the table amongst yourselves you cheap fuckers.

This.  Just split it among the group and call out the cheapskates.  

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1.  Drive-up pinpads (like to control gates) that are mounted on the wall, instead of on an arm.  If we aint stretch fucking armstrong we have to scrape our door mirrors just to reach the damn thing?

 

2.  Broadcast of sports events that were "Recorded Live".  How else would it have been recorded?

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Split checks talk not going away. As a former host all the way to manager I’ll give a few tips. If you must do split checks tell your server from the get go. If it’s adults and kids just order for your kids. Don’t make them chase your kid down for orders. When the food comes pay attention and help the server get the food to the right person. If the server is worth a damn they’ll split the food tickets up so not to create one huge order of 18 meals at once. Lastly just be patient.

Also, there’s no harm In asking your server if there’s gratuity added. My philosophy was I guaranteed myself making my tip if I gratted and if they were going to tip over they still will. Maybe bit me a time or two, but after getting stiffed once by a large group that became my philosophy. These days though a lot of places don’t grat because then it’s taxed as payroll to the company. Believed that changed before the Obama Administration.

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