Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[conVINCEd 21474]

9 minutes ago, elfenix said:

my parents have 3 clocks that all do the full westminster chimes.  they're not particularly synchronized.  good luck watching anything on TV late in the evening when they start striking the hour. 

Mine brought a fucking cuckoo clock back from Germany when I was a kid.  They also have a grandfather clock.  My hatred of devices like this that make unnecessary noise began at a young age.

[Biff Tannen 45782]

1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

Mine brought a fucking cuckoo clock back from Germany when I was a kid.  They also have a grandfather clock.  My hatred of devices like this that make unnecessary noise began at a young age.

If you don't have kids, take this note down: don't buy the toys that make the noise.

[conVINCEd 21474]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

If you don't have kids, take this note down: don't buy the toys that make the noise.

No kids.  If my sister is ever being a bitch I just threaten to get her kids musical instruments for their next birthday.

[Scheiss Meister 8419]

18 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

No kids.  If my sister is ever being a bitch I just threaten to get her kids musical instruments for their next birthday.

Drums, bagpipes, oboe, or tuba.  But the answer is drums.

[Ignatius 4085]

On 6/30/2022 at 4:32 PM, MissingInAction said:

Self proclaimed dog experts. Fuck off every last one of you cunts!

I had luna out and about, took her to a dog friendly bar. Having a good time until this twat comes up with a concerned look.

What's wrong with her ear? You need to blahablahahablah....

I said absolutely fucking nothing is wrong with it. It's floppy. Dogs ears flop. 

Then she starts with the I was a foster and vet tech bullshit and that there's risk of infection blaahahahahlblah

Another cunt tried to tell me luna needed to be shaved down for the heat. Something you absolutely do NOT do to dogs with double coats.

I encounter these types of assholes at least once a week because I take my dog every where with me.

People who feel the need to take their dogs on activities only humans went on 20 years ago…

 

EDIT - Didn’t see Jamesslaw’s post before posting. Look forward to this making folks surly - this is how we solve perpetual motion!!!!!

Edited July 5, 2022 by Ignatius

[conVINCEd 21474]

1 minute ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Drums, bagpipes, oboe, or tuba.  But the answer is drums.

I originally wrote drums, but it can vary based on how big of a bitch she is being.  Drums is the nuclear option.

[Sbbruin 21934]

On 6/30/2022 at 1:32 PM, MissingInAction said:

Self proclaimed dog experts. Fuck off every last one of you cunts!

I had luna out and about, took her to a dog friendly bar. Having a good time until this twat comes up with a concerned look.

What's wrong with her ear? You need to blahablahahablah....

I said absolutely fucking nothing is wrong with it. It's floppy. Dogs ears flop. 

Then she starts with the I was a foster and vet tech bullshit and that there's risk of infection blaahahahahlblah

Another cunt tried to tell me luna needed to be shaved down for the heat. Something you absolutely do NOT do to dogs with double coats.

I encounter these types of assholes at least once a week because I take my dog every where with me.

Maya is exactly the same.  One floppy ear and a double coat.  I thought we should shave her for the summer but the vet said no way, not with the double coat.  Done and done.

But man, people who take their dogs everywhere with them are real pieces of work.  Except bars.  That's ok.

[Scheiss Meister 8419]

Just now, conVINCEd said:

I originally wrote drums, but it can vary based on how big of a bitch she is being.  Drums is the nuclear option.

Yeah, I have all the subtlety of a chainsaw murderer.  I lay out the nuclear option first to establish my sincerity.  If, by some freakish accident, I get a little subtle, I drop the oboe out there.  The squeaks made by a beginner double reed player are outstanding torture.

[Ignatius 4085]

14 hours ago, 52-80 said:

The household is just a nonstop cacophony of beeps and alerts.  We've had tons of guests over recently, so the laundry and dishwasher and etc cycles just went up by multiple.

It seems every 5 minutes theres a persistent beep from the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, goddamn rice cooker, and even the fucking fridge and freezer if the door wasn't shut right.  Shit's driving me nuts

Guy walks into a bar wearing a kilt, with a steering wheel growing out of his crotch, and orders a beer. Bartender says “Jesus Christ, that has to be fucking annoying!” Guy says “Aye, it’s driven’ me nuts”

[nnm 37027]

3 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Yeah, I have all the subtlety of a chainsaw murderer.  I lay out the nuclear option first to establish my sincerity.  If, by some freakish accident, I get a little subtle, I drop the oboe out there.  The squeaks made by a beginner double reed player are outstanding torture.

Have you ever heard a beginning violinist?  Far worse than an oboe. 

[Scheiss Meister 8419]

9 minutes ago, nnm said:

Have you ever heard a beginning violinist?  Far worse than an oboe. 

No, I have not.  I will defer to your judgment, but beginning oboe is the most hideous sound that I have personally experienced.

[Sam Lin 3566]

4 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Yeah, I have all the subtlety of a chainsaw murderer.  I lay out the nuclear option first to establish my sincerity.  If, by some freakish accident, I get a little subtle, I drop the oboe out there.  The squeaks made by a beginner double reed player are outstanding torture.

KISS. Just get them a recorder. Way simpler to get and transport, cheap as hell. Because even when well played, they sound like ass (but you should definitely listen to this, this entire channel is burst out laughing shittyness):

 

[Scheiss Meister 8419]

8 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

KISS. Just get them a recorder. Way simpler to get and transport, cheap as hell. Because even when well played, they sound like ass (but you should definitely listen to this, this entire channel is burst out laughing shittyness):

 

Dude, I play recorder.  Well, too.  Properly played they sound good.  That video is funny, though.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22050]

4 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

Maya is exactly the same.  One floppy ear and a double coat.  I thought we should shave her for the summer but the vet said no way, not with the double coat.  Done and done.

But man, people who take their dogs everywhere with them are real pieces of work.  Except bars.  That's ok.

Sebastian is the same way.  He’s has a double coat, but I never even considered shaving him.  He would probably hide in embarrassment if I did.  He did come back from his check up last week with an ear infection in his one floppy ear though.  It’s no fun trying to put ear drops in a 65 pound puppy.

[WhatTheBuck 28844]

8 hours ago, Sandman said:

I just got a new VW GTI a couple of months ago and the cup holder situation is horrible. It has 2 spots but neither is actually round. The front one has a round arm that pops out to surround a drink but it's not at all secure. The rear one is square, which is dumb. Are the German's using square cans or something? Only drinking juice boxes? 

My grandma used to have a car, I can’t recall the year, make, or model, that had cup holders that would spring out from the front of the arm rest (which itself could be raised and lowered). They consisted of two circular rings with a single little plastic bar beneath each to hold your drink in place. They were side by side. It was the weirdest thing. I searched online but couldn’t find a photo of that contraption.

[66BUFF 2583]

10 hours ago, nnm said:

Have you ever heard a beginning violinist?  Far worse than an oboe. 

 

[Guest]

In the age of information and instant electronic communication, fucking idiot morons who cannot discern between "reply" and "reply all"

Been receiving congrats all day on Cathy's promotion in Nevada, and I don't give a flying fuck.

[52-80 19285]

The ripeness window for avocado is too damn narrow. The motherfucker is either rubbery like a hockey puck or brown and bruised like a mushy banana

[bluto 4947]

Buy em rock hard then wait on them to ripen and the fridge will keep em in that state for a solid 3 days

[NeverMarryAStripper 22050]

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

There are no liquor stores in Sanderson.

[deadshank 24653]

12 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

There are no liquor stores in Sanderson.

Rookie

[High Plains Drifter 11068]

On 7/5/2022 at 4:21 PM, Sandman said:

I just got a new VW GTI a couple of months ago and the cup holder situation is horrible. It has 2 spots but neither is actually round. The front one has a round arm that pops out to surround a drink but it's not at all secure. The rear one is square, which is dumb. Are the German's using square cans or something? Only drinking juice boxes? 

 

My theory on that:

Europeans, especially Germans, do not as a rule eat or drink in their cars. So European cars are designed without cupholders in mind, then they are just an afterthought (and therefore shittily designed and placed) when the car is adapted to American standards. This is probably changing or has changed as Europeans catch up to us in the lazy fatass arms race.

Anyway, you want an excess of glorious cupholders, buy a Ford.

 

 

On 7/6/2022 at 12:29 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

My grandma used to have a car, I can’t recall the year, make, or model, that had cup holders that would spring out from the front of the arm rest (which itself could be raised and lowered). They consisted of two circular rings with a single little plastic bar beneath each to hold your drink in place. They were side by side. It was the weirdest thing. I searched online but couldn’t find a photo of that contraption.

 

My 95 Tacoma has similar cupholders- you pull out this piece of plastic back toward you from the dash. It had two holes with a piece of plastic that hinged down underneath to support the cups when it was pulled out. Of course, a Jap truck built in 95 isn't an oversized, giant war machine, so there really isn't any room in the cab for cup holders in "normal' places.

Of course, then the drink blocks both the controls for the AC and the middle AC vents. And you can't change the CD.

[High Plains Drifter 11068]

18 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

There are no liquor stores in Sanderson all of Terrell county.

 

fixy

 

Used to not be any in Jeff Davis County until about 10 or 15 years ago.

 

 

[elfenix 34393]

i remember when you had to buy cupholders at the auto parts store and they fit into the space between the window and door

[tfoolry 8255]

 

[nnm 37027]

10 hours ago, elfenix said:

i remember when you had to buy cupholders at the auto parts store and they fit into the space between the window and door

The truck I learned to drive in, a 1968 Dodge stepside, straight-six, 3-on-the-tree, had no radio, no A/C, and no sissy cup holders. You held your beer between your legs like a real man.  

 

[Guest]

On 7/8/2022 at 9:24 AM, bluto said:

Buy em rock hard then wait on them to ripen and the fridge will keep em in that state for a solid 3 days

If you live nearby a store, i.e. not 30 miles from town or whatever; buy them the morning you plan on using them.  there are almost always ripe ones on top of the new ones they added to the bin that morning, that is, if they rotate like a good grocer does.

[deadshank 24653]

I’m passed dipshit jacked up, coal rolling, toolbox-less F250s and Ram 2500s that have never been off the pavement and have moved on to cast my derision on Dodge Challengers, Chevy Camaros and Ford Mustangs that treat every inch of hard top like their personal drag strip.  
 

Those guys are a scourge. 

[Scheiss Meister 8419]

My in-laws use a brand of toilet paper that has wavy perforations rather than straight.  It's soft and comfortable enough, but it tears funny, and that bugs the hell out of me.

Edited July 9, 2022 by Scheiss Meister

[TheStoicPaisano 9940]

18 hours ago, elfenix said:

i remember when you had to buy cupholders at the auto parts store and they fit into the space between the window and door

Hated fitting these shits around the window growing up, but they were good ad hoc hoops.

 

[nnm 37027]

Good God it’s hot. Tried to relax in the pool. Too hot for that even. Pool temp is 91.  From my home weather station:

Edited July 9, 2022 by nnm

[tbone_ 14298]

The truck I learned to drive in, a 1968 Dodge stepside, straight-six, 3-on-the-tree, had no radio, no A/C, and no sissy cup holders. You held your beer between your legs like a real man.  


 

Or in your hand while steering.

[SHOOTER12 8858]

20 minutes ago, nnm said:

Good God it’s hot. Tried to relax in the pool. Too hot for that even. Pool temp is 91.  From my home weather station:

Good God man, where are you?

[AUinHsv 580]

50 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Hated fitting these shits around the window growing up, but they were good ad hoc hoops.

 

Except when you aren't paying attention and knock it off while making a right turn and the milkshake goes everywhere.

Edited July 9, 2022 by AUinHsv

[nnm 37027]

4 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Good God man, where are you?

ETX. And I have a high end Ambient home weather station. It’s pretty accurate. 

[SHOOTER12 8858]

1 hour ago, nnm said:

ETX. And I have a high end Ambient home weather station. It’s pretty accurate. 

Yeah, understood, just went and got in our pool and it was like getting in a hot bath. FML and East Texas, as in Nastydouches. 

[52-80 19285]

Reason #2734 why Windows products are so shit:

 

My $300 Dell WD19 computer dock (from work), while its fed by a 200W power supply, refuses to power any accessory connected to it unless a laptop is hooked up and turned on. 
 

Fucking moron design. 

[52-80 19285]

11 hours ago, AUinHsv said:

Except when you aren't paying attention and knock it off while making a right turn and the milkshake goes everywhere.

“…and thats why, officer, there are so many boys in my yard”

[WhatTheBuck 28844]

Shells left on the tails of shrimp served in a hot dish. I don’t care if it makes for a more attractive presentation. You’re asking me to dip my fingers into a hot sauce to remove the shells. Just remove them ahead of time.

I don’t mind peeling boiled crawfish. That’s expected. But I’ve never had crawfish étouffée with the shells on. Take the shells off. If the whole shell doesn’t need to be on then none of it needs to be on.

[Shoxthemonkey 1983]

20 hours ago, deadshank said:

I’m passed dipshit jacked up, coal rolling, toolbox-less F250s and Ram 2500s that have never been off the pavement and have moved on to cast my derision on Dodge Challengers, Chevy Camaros and Ford Mustangs that treat every inch of hard top like their personal drag strip.  
 

Those guys are a scourge. 

Dead, you need to do better, be better. If you open your heart just a little, you’ll find the room to hate both groups. 

[Underdog 28884]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Shells left on the tails of shrimp served in a hot dish. I don’t care if it makes for a more attractive presentation. You’re asking me to dip my fingers into a hot sauce to remove the shells. Just remove them ahead of time.

I don’t mind peeling boiled crawfish. That’s expected. But I’ve never had crawfish étouffée with the shells on. Take the shells off. If the whole shell doesn’t need to be on then none of it needs to be on.

Next time have your husband help you out... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yeah, totally agree with you.  Local Italian place has shrimp in a dish that would be much easier to eat sans tail.  

[deadshank 24653]

1 hour ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Dead, you need to do better, be better. If you open your heart just a little, you’ll find the room to hate both groups. 

 

[WhatTheBuck 28844]

21 minutes ago, Underdog said:

But yeah, totally agree with you.  Local Italian place has shrimp in a dish that would be much easier to eat sans tail.

I’m dedicated to the principle that form follows function and leaving partial shells on in hot food just doesn’t make sense. I don’t need it to be pretty. Make the dining experience as efficient as possible.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22050]

The most efficient way would be to put everything in a blender and serve it in a cup

[CooterBrown 18100]

Shells left on the tails of shrimp served in a hot dish. I don’t care if it makes for a more attractive presentation. You’re asking me to dip my fingers into a hot sauce to remove the shells. Just remove them ahead of time.
I don’t mind peeling boiled crawfish. That’s expected. But I’ve never had crawfish étouffée with the shells on. Take the shells off. If the whole shell doesn’t need to be on then none of it needs to be on.

The weirdos that eat the shrimp tails may be worse.

[WhatTheBuck 28844]

12 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The most efficient way would be to put everything in a blender and serve it in a cup

No, that would make it a mousse. That’s a different dish and it has its place. But I’ve never had shrimp Pad Thai with the shells on. Maybe “pretty” was the wrong word. Maybe “fancy” would’ve been better. Shells off is pretty enough. And texture matters.

Reductio ad absurdum is a bad faith argument. ‘Ooh, maybe all of our meals should just be a blended slurry, that would be most efficient!’ Come on, man. Don’t be ridiculous.

[TheStoicPaisano 9940]

I’m allergic.

[Biff Tannen 45782]

On 7/9/2022 at 10:55 AM, deadshank said:

I’m passed dipshit jacked up, coal rolling, toolbox-less F250s and Ram 2500s that have never been off the pavement and have moved on to cast my derision on Dodge Challengers, Chevy Camaros and Ford Mustangs that treat every inch of hard top like their personal drag strip.  
 

Those guys are a scourge. 

There's a Mustang with god awful loud exhaust that hauls ass down 45th street every fucking morning while I'm walking my dogs around 6:45am.  I fucking hate that guy.

[Prepuce of Doom 21130]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

There's a Mustang with god awful loud exhaust that hauls ass down 45th street every fucking morning while I'm walking my dogs around 6:45am.  I fucking hate that guy.

Put a long loop or two of duct tape into the street with the adhesive facing outwards.