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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

20 hours ago, Litig8r said:

fragrances   My legal assistant has breathing issues and cologne, perfume or scented lotions and shit can put her in the hospital.  We have signs on our doors, tell clients when we set appointments and put in our emails telling folks not wear fragrances.  Some just blow it off and we have to tell them to leave and reschedule or figure out a way to keep them and their choice of funk out of my assistant's lungs.  No along comes this vile shit https://www.amazon.com/TYLER-Glamour-Laundry-Detergent-Maintenance/dp/B002GDZD8S/ref=asc_df_B002GDZD8S/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=216559542401&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17722287368826191025&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1015109&hvtargid=pla-378560610606&psc=1   

I was on the tennis court the other day and someone who parked five courts away got out of their truck and I could smell that shit.  

I get a little cologne when you are going out for an evening but damnit, you don't need a 1/2 of bottle of any shit.

I don't have any breathing issues, but I have a better sense of smell than most, and the people who deliberately bathe in various odors are often more offensive to me than people who just stink. 

Every time I stay at a Marriott property, I make sure to tell the front desk that the lobby smells like the cleaning staff spilled an unpleasant cleaning product somewhere. It's actually their "signature scent" called Subtle Sophistication, but it is neither subtle nor sophisticated. 

5 hours ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

Click here to unsubscribe to our emails

 

  Hide contents

Ha!  We kid of course.  You can never unsubscribe.  

 

Same with texts

15 hours ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

Click here to unsubscribe to our emails

 

  Hide contents

Ha!  We kid of course.  You can never unsubscribe.  

 

Think I may have already posted it earlier in this thread, but it taking "up to 2 weeks to remove you from our mailing list" after unsubscribing. No, it fucking does not, we are in a modern digital world.

16 hours ago, 52-80 said:

products that need fucking bizarre ass sized batteries. 

Guess which battery size the Surface pen uses?

Hint: It isn't one of the ones that are carried at supermarkets, gas stations, and convenience stores.

1974230412_aaaabatterywtf.JPG.5ec0fb1fdb001c9f7b06d14e113787f9.JPG

Guess which battery size the Surface pen uses?
1974230412_aaaabatterywtf.JPG.5ec0fb1fdb001c9f7b06d14e113787f9.JPG

D, like your mom’s vibrator?
2 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Guess which battery size the Surface pen uses?

Hint: It isn't one of the ones that are carried at supermarkets, gas stations, and convenience stores.

1974230412_aaaabatterywtf.JPG.5ec0fb1fdb001c9f7b06d14e113787f9.JPG

Mine was a Microsoft Sculpt keyboard. Wtf are these people thinking. 

Click here to unsubscribe to our emails
 
Spoiler

Ha!  We kid of course.  You can never unsubscribe.  

 


You will first need to enter the password to the account that you created 2 years ago in which you have no idea what it is….
3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


You will first need to enter the password to the account that you created 2 years ago in which you have no idea what it is….

66612346969ousux

Mofos that don’t understand how to properly seat the strap through a cargo strap ratchet.   Friggin bird’s nest from hell.  Stinkin’ rookies. 

0EFC6CB7-D907-4550-802E-CE84B4BC1186.jpeg

Swear to god i havent used ebay in 7 yesrs but still get “updates to the user agreement” every 2 days

It’s the time of year for UT spamming email, text, phone asking for money.

21 minutes ago, PantsTent said:

It’s the time of year for UT spamming email, text, phone asking for money.

Quite the conundrum that happens when a certain football team takes its perennial dump in its pants.

1 hour ago, PantsTent said:

It’s the time of year for UT spamming email, text, phone asking for money.

tenor.gif

 

1 hour ago, PantsTent said:

It’s the time of year for UT spamming email, text, phone asking for money.

Reply asking for fucking wins first...

On 9/22/2022 at 12:19 PM, Armybrat said:

Stroking Mrs. Brat’s thighs early in the morning, but she says “Not now, I have to get up and get ready to go to church to help count the Sunday collection”.

Dammit Brat, just blew Red Bull out of my nose and that shit burns like a mother fucker.

On 9/28/2022 at 8:04 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

I don't have any breathing issues, but I have a better sense of smell than most, and the people who deliberately bathe in various odors are often more offensive to me than people who just stink. 

Every time I stay at a Marriott property, I make sure to tell the front desk that the lobby smells like the cleaning staff spilled an unpleasant cleaning product somewhere. It's actually their "signature scent" called Subtle Sophistication, but it is neither subtle nor sophisticated. 

Mrs. Brat despises the cologne/perfume crap that so many people drench themselves with. Gives her a headache if she’s around it for just a few minutes.

53 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Dammit Brat, just blew Red Bull out of my nose and that shit burns like a mother fucker.

Well, at least you got to shoot something out. Me, not so lucky.

Edited by Armybrat

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

tenor.gif

 

They're getting my daughter's tuition. And while I'm at it...no, I don't want women's basketball tickets.  

 

Derp

Edited by PantsTent
now i'm spamming this thread

Bought half gallon of milk on Tuesday with exp date of 10/2, already had to dump it because it went sour.  

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Bought half gallon of milk on Tuesday with exp date of 10/2, already had to dump it because it went sour.  

Try putting it in the refrigerator when not in use. 

Wearing 100% polyester hoodies/zip ups/whatever and the instant you step outside they smell like old sweat

20 hours ago, Underdog said:

Bought half gallon of milk on Tuesday with exp date of 10/2, already had to dump it because it went sour.  

We switched to getting organic milk. The expiration dates are like 2-3 months. 

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

We switched to getting organic milk. The expiration dates are like 2-3 months. 

What brand if i may ask?  I switched to Fairlife which i really like but the wife is still with the regular milk. 

Think I may have already posted it earlier in this thread, but it taking "up to 2 weeks to remove you from our mailing list" after unsubscribing. No, it fucking does not, we are in a modern digital world.
Yep. Proved by when you subscribe, you get an email instantly.
What brand if i may ask?  I switched to Fairlife which i really like but the wife is still with the regular milk. 
Got this a couple of weeks ago. Seems to last 2+ months. So it's pretty rare that we have throw it out. d05024546dcc9a2c29e57b8344848412.jpg1b6f1d3bd6f4446377cb772d8174a306.jpg

Sent from my Pixel 6a using Tapatalk

11 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Got this a couple of weeks ago. Seems to last 2+ months. So it's pretty rare that we have throw it out. d05024546dcc9a2c29e57b8344848412.jpg1b6f1d3bd6f4446377cb772d8174a306.jpg

Sent from my Pixel 6a using Tapatalk
 

You obviously don’t have teenage boys in the house. Mine’s grown now, but when he was here, having buddies over, a gallon of milk would last 2 days, max. My brother and I used to go through a gallon I a day I think. 

On 8/15/2022 at 6:32 PM, Bevo&Pevo said:

Passport sent today for renewal; we'll see if I have better luck.

Email from the Gov't office yesterday saying I should have it back by Oct 4.  We didn't expediate, so total time will come in at 7 weeks and a bit.  

1 hour ago, nnm said:

You obviously don’t have teenage boys in the house. Mine’s grown now, but when he was here, having buddies over, a gallon of milk would last 2 days, max. My brother and I used to go through a gallon I a day I think. 

Oh you're damn right. I have a 25 year old so I remember those days. Currently, 3 and 9 year olds. We're in that in between stage with milk, Old enough to not drink much, young enough to not go through 5 boxes of cereal in a setting. Right now, milk is mostly used for cooking

  • Author
You obviously don’t have teenage boys in the house. Mine’s grown now, but when he was here, having buddies over, a gallon of milk would last 2 days, max. My brother and I used to go through a gallon I a day I think. 
I was on GOMAD during 8th and 9th grade. Probably a 3L of coke every other day on top of that.
On 9/18/2022 at 12:29 PM, Superhero said:

Bought some uh... toys from an online store, and now the ads are following me everywhere.

Nothing like reading AP News and getting an ad for a vibrator...

How many other sites do I have to visit before I can let my kids use my computer again?.

2 weeks later, I've dumped all my cookies and browsing history, and the ads are still showing up but not as frequent. What's pissing me off is it's showing up on my work computer as well. I really don't know how to shake them off my tail. Any suggestions?

2 weeks later, I've dumped all my cookies and browsing history, and the ads are still showing up but not as frequent. What's pissing me off is it's showing up on my work computer as well. I really don't know how to shake them off my tail. Any suggestions?
Do you use your work computer on the same network as your personal? They are cross referencing your digital footprint on these devices. Even using a VPN doesn't always work. These ads are becoming much more invasive as time goes on.

If you are using Windows, go into your privacy settings and see if an option is checked called Let apps use my advertising ID for experiences across apps.
We switched to getting organic milk. The expiration dates are like 2-3 months. 

It’s not that it’s organic. It’s because it’s UHT ultra high temp pasteurized milk. It gives refrigerated milk an unopened shelf life of like 2 months. It’s also the process that allows for room temperature shelf stable milk with really long expiration dates.
2 weeks later, I've dumped all my cookies and browsing history, and the ads are still showing up but not as frequent. What's pissing me off is it's showing up on my work computer as well. I really don't know how to shake them off my tail. Any suggestions?

Just put your laptop in a drill press and drill a few holes through it. Then get a new laptop.
1 hour ago, Vic Mackey said:

Do you use your work computer on the same network as your personal? They are cross referencing your digital footprint on these devices. Even using a VPN doesn't always work. These ads are becoming much more invasive as time goes on.

If you are using Windows, go into your privacy settings and see if an option is checked called Let apps use my advertising ID for experiences across apps.

Yes, I work from home once in a while, on the same network as my personal computer.

I just turned off all the privacy options. Going to do it on my work computer. Hopefully that works. Thanks.

8 hours ago, CooterBrown said:


It’s not that it’s organic. It’s because it’s UHT ultra high temp pasteurized milk. It gives refrigerated milk an unopened shelf life of like 2 months. It’s also the process that allows for room temperature shelf stable milk with really long expiration dates.

I did not know that. The More You Know gif

What other board can you get info on milk pasteurization methods and Windows security tips and tricks in back to back posts?

Why i commented recently that you have to feed the knowitall beasts on here every so often what with Google and shit these days.

Grocery stores who stock their shelves in this manner… 

005B3FB9-D3E7-40E4-AAB0-667099251B0C.thumb.jpeg.cd4cb0fa5453734dd7c38f0cf366a959.jpeg

of course the yogurt I want is top shelf and in the very back…. GDit, Shaq wouldn’t be able to reach it.  

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

Grocery stores who stock their shelves in this manner… 

005B3FB9-D3E7-40E4-AAB0-667099251B0C.thumb.jpeg.cd4cb0fa5453734dd7c38f0cf366a959.jpeg

of course the yogurt I want is top shelf and in the very back…. GDit, Shaq wouldn’t be able to reach it.  

Chollie could. 
djCBkWkz_400x400.jpg

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

Grocery stores who stock their shelves in this manner… 

005B3FB9-D3E7-40E4-AAB0-667099251B0C.thumb.jpeg.cd4cb0fa5453734dd7c38f0cf366a959.jpeg

of course the yogurt I want is top shelf and in the very back…. GDit, Shaq wouldn’t be able to reach it.  

If it makes you feel any better, there are few items in the entire store that are more of a PITA than the yogurts to merchandise decently.  Looks like with all of the packaging innovation, a solution could be found... but then again, who's gonna pay for THAT?

The store i frequent the most uses the spring action for their shelving where you take an item and the others behind it move forward.  

Why the fuck are Claussen pickles still in short supply? Fuck me.

2 hours ago, Okie State said:

Why the fuck are Claussen pickles still in short supply? Fuck me.

Forces are aligning against you. 

It's actually their "signature scent" called Subtle Sophistication, but it is neither subtle nor sophisticated. 

They say the same about my signature scent, “pork rind farts.”
Forces are aligning against you. 
Do they need jars? I have jars. They have paint in them, but just wash them out and they're good.

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