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1 hour ago, HouTex said:

Unless I got the immaculate version of herpes . . .  Thirty years married to the same woman with no extramarital sex and I've never had a rash on my ass before.  In any event, the doctor was sure of his diagnosis.

And let the jokes fly that my wife is screwing someone else . . .

lol_idi_amin.gif

"Impossible doc.  Someone else must have shot that lion..."

Edited by Buffsoldier

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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I bought a replacement power cord for my phone. Holy shit was it damn near impossible to get out of the packaging. The plastic tag that's used to hang it on a display stand was glued on so tight I couldn't pull it off. That made it impossible to pry open the tab on the top of the box. So I tore open the box from the bottom but there was another little wall inside blocking access to the cord.

So I used an X-Acto knife to get in through the top of the box and ripped off half of the front so I could remove the cord. Then the cord was wrapped with two thick paper tabs that couldn't be torn off manually. I had to use the knife again, making little cuts, trying not to damage the cord. The packaging was in shreds by the time I got the cord free. JFC.

5 hours ago, Okie State said:

Waiting on a package to be delivered that was at the FedEx hub 15 miles away from my house on Wednesday only to see it travel 2,000 miles out of the way to Denver and back over the past two days.

Does that really bother you more than seeing it sit at the same hub 15 miles away from your house for three consecutive days?

As old as I am I still remember my third grade teacher who was smoking hot and married to the UT place kicker.
Mrs. Crosby was married to Tony who kicked for the 1963 National Champions and was unique because he kicked barefoot straight on.
Would lift his toes and hit the ball with the ball of his foot 
That was 55 years ago.
Show off.
5 hours ago, HouTex said:

Unless I got the immaculate version of herpes . . .  Thirty years married to the same woman with no extramarital sex and I've never had a rash on my ass before.  In any event, the doctor was sure of his diagnosis.

And let the jokes fly that my wife is screwing someone else . . .

Only anal bro, I swear.

Does that really bother you more than seeing it sit at the same hub 15 miles away from your house for three consecutive days?

Yes because it was a somewhat fragile package and it traveled an extra 2,000 unnecessary miles furthering the risk of damage. Sure enough the box was beat to shit, but thankfully packed well enough that the contents were okay.

 

I also hate incompetent people.

19 hours ago, immortal13 said:

Only anal bro, I swear.

PM sent

On 9/7/2018 at 1:24 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

These are the same shitheads that force you to choose an opinion-based password reset/verification question and answer. 

I'm an adult. I don't have a favorite color. Or a single favorite food.

Or the questions you have to choose from are so meaninglessly broad and/or stupid that you couldn't ever possibly answer it the same way after significant passage of time. One of the most terrible questions I've seen was "Who did you look up to as a child?"

And I understand that these sorts of things can't be looked up, theoretically making them more secure, but many of them sure as shit can't be consistently reproduced, either. 

I have the same answer to every question. 1234. No matter what the question is, the answer is always 1234.

 

*(it's not actually 1234, but is a 4 digit number that has absolutely nothing to do with anything real in my life, like a birthdate or something)

23 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I bought a replacement power cord for my phone. Holy shit was it damn near impossible to get out of the packaging. The plastic tag that's used to hang it on a display stand was glued on so tight I couldn't pull it off. That made it impossible to pry open the tab on the top of the box. So I tore open the box from the bottom but there was another little wall inside blocking access to the cord.

So I used an X-Acto knife to get in through the top of the box and ripped off half of the front so I could remove the cord. Then the cord was wrapped with two thick paper tabs that couldn't be torn off manually. I had to use the knife again, making little cuts, trying not to damage the cord. The packaging was in shreds by the time I got the cord free. JFC.

That happened to me when I was traveling. Was a few hours drive away and realized I forgot my charger, so I stopped at a Walmart and bought one. Finally gave up on it until I got to hotel and asked the front counter lady for some scissors. 

26 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

0fdec627da4d17d977fb0da5fd32ad0a.jpg

I had a pumpkin pie blizzard from DQ last night, so this hits close to home.

2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

That happened to me when I was traveling. Was a few hours drive away and realized I forgot my charger, so I stopped at a Walmart and bought one. Finally gave up on it until I got to hotel and asked the front counter lady for some scissors. 

and if you aren't careful - you finally get a piece of the plastic cut open and pull. The rest of the plastic cuts you like a razor

I have the same answer to every question. 1234. No matter what the question is, the answer is always 1234.
 
*(it's not actually 1234, but is a 4 digit number that has absolutely nothing to do with anything real in my life, like a birthdate or something)

Is 1234 your pin code too? Asking for a friend.
That happened to me when I was traveling. Was a few hours drive away and realized I forgot my charger, so I stopped at a Walmart and bought one. Finally gave up on it until I got to hotel and asked the front counter lady for some scissors. 
Shit like this is why I keep scissors in my truck console.
On 9/6/2018 at 7:35 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:


They need to give it a new name. Shingles just doesn’t convey its awfulness.

No shit. They should call it being punched on the side with a razor sharp cattleprod. 

In the new Netflix movie “Sierra Burgess is a Loser,” they show a great texting convo between an iPhone and Android. On the iPhone it shows the typing bubble. That isn’t a thing for iPhone to android on Phone text converstions. You suck nerds at Netflix 

Edited by Js1

When you buy glasses or sunglasses, they never give you a new sample from the box.  It's always the model on display.  The ones with hundreds of greasy paws and finger prints and antitheft device and probably bent to hell.

 

It's like this from every shop in every country I've ever bought from.

When they went to studio at halftime of the USC-Stanford game there were big logos of Fresno State and Minnesota on the screen behind the desk. The first thing they did was to spend five minutes showing highlights of the USC-Stanford game. (Um, yeah, I know. I've been watching. Maybe save those for the last segment for people tuning in late.) Then they showed highlights of a bunch of other games. The Fresno State-Minnesota game wasn't one of them. 

  • Author

nfl broadcast rules that prevent CBS from showing an afternoon game (or overtime of a noon game) because fox has the broadcast slot, and vice versa.  

Edited by elfenix

8 hours ago, 52-80 said:

When you buy glasses or sunglasses, they never give you a new sample from the box.  It's always the model on display.  The ones with hundreds of greasy paws and finger prints and antitheft device and probably bent to hell.

 

It's like this from every shop in every country I've ever bought from.

From where in the world are you buying eyeglasses?  I've never been sold the display pair for the very reasons you listed out. 

Standing in front of the shelves at HEB looking for a particular product and people squeeze in between you and the shelf your looking at and begin to look for the product they want and take their sweet time doing so.  

Yep, I’m 6’4” two fiddy.  I can see how you missed me.  

Got damn credit card hacked AGAIN.  Seems to happen about once a year these days.  Now I have to go through and find and change everything that's on autopay.

21 minutes ago, Lobo said:

From where in the world are you buying eyeglasses?  I've never been sold the display pair for the very reasons you listed out. 

Multiple times at sunglass hut in US; independent stores in turkey, hungary, italy, Amsterdam airport. 

 

These are 100-400$ pairs, not throwaway pieces.

 

Half my pairs I buy online so at least they're probably right from the distribution box, but the times you do impulse buy at the store it's annoying.  They squirt the lens, give it a quick rub, and the "it's the only sample we have"

People who start game threads and then don't participate in them. 


People who participate in game threads.
14 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Got damn credit card hacked AGAIN.  Seems to happen about once a year these days.  Now I have to go through and find and change everything that's on autopay.

Pro tip: open a card that is only used for autopay expenses and nothing else. Much less likely (but obviously not impossible) to get hacked. 

5 minutes ago, luke duke said:

People who participate in game threads.

People who don't get game threads. 

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Got damn credit card hacked AGAIN.  Seems to happen about once a year these days.  Now I have to go through and find and change everything that's on autopay.

If that makes you surly, try running a small business where 70% of your revenue is from customers on autopay.  

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

People who don't get game threads. 

Why don’t you explain it to me?

3 hours ago, elfenix said:

nfl broadcast rules that prevent CBS from showing an afternoon game (or overtime of a noon game) because fox has the broadcast slot, and vice versa.  

The whole Blackout Rule is bullshit.  

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

Why don’t you explain it to me?

I'd be happy to. Perhaps it would help if you could first tell me why people joining in a discussion about a shared interest bothers you. That goes for any subject on an Internet message board, really. But, for the purpose of our conversation, let's just focus on people talking about the game they're watching. How does that make you feel?

3 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Got damn credit card hacked AGAIN.  Seems to happen about once a year these days.  Now I have to go through and find and change everything that's on autopay.

Protip: stop entering your credit card number for porn site memberships. 

The first 10-15 seconds to benny and the jets. Elton is playing  the piano, we all know what song it is, but it still takes the audience to start clapping up right until he starts to sing the song.WTF? start clapping right away after the first piano note.

47 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

The first 10-15 seconds to benny and the jets. Elton is playing  the piano, we all know what song it is, but it still takes the audience to start clapping up right until he starts to sing the song.WTF? start clapping right away after the first piano note.

The original version wasn’t really live. Studio trickery in an attempt to make it sound more interesting. 

Got damn credit card hacked AGAIN.  Seems to happen about once a year these days.  Now I have to go through and find and change everything that's on autopay.

Use two cards. One for auto pay and one for everything else. I started doing that a few years ago after dealing with this bullshit too often.

 

Edit: What Prepuce said.

1 hour ago, Okie State said:
5 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:
Got damn credit card hacked AGAIN.  Seems to happen about once a year these days.  Now I have to go through and find and change everything that's on autopay.

Use two cards. One for auto pay and one for everything else. I started doing that a few years ago after dealing with this bullshit too often.

But I want the points dammit.

But I want the points dammit.
Ahh, I just do cash back cards so it don't make a shit which one I use.
5 hours ago, Lobo said:

From where in the world are you buying eyeglasses?  I've never been sold the display pair for the very reasons you listed out. 

Same here. Always gotten a new pair in new package. The one time they were out I had to repeatedly ask them to sell me the display pair since I didn't have time to wait for them to transfer one in. I mostly buy at Costco, but same experiences at Sunglasses Hut.

When someone quotes a post and immediately underneath writes, "This."
No shit, we kind of figured that out when you quoted the post.
Quote something and hit reply without typing a response.



kicked for the 1963 National Champions and was unique because he kicked barefoot straight on.
Would lift his toes and hit the ball with the ball of his foot 
That was 55 years ago.


I've never heard of such a method. Seems almost impossible to get lift on the ball like that.

It's that time of year again so perhaps a reminder is needed. 

I don't care about your fantasy football team. That's your fantasy, not mine. Stop telling me about it. I'm not paying attention. 

I like watching real teams play real games. You're doing it wrong. 

7 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It's that time of year again so perhaps a reminder is needed. 

I don't care about your fantasy football team. That's your fantasy, not mine. Stop telling me about it. I'm not paying attention. 

I like watching real teams play real games. You're doing it wrong. 

fucking Lev'eon screwed me over this week. 

It's that time of year again. 

Listen, we get it. You don't play fantasy football. You missed the boat or you just don't have any real guy friends. Nobody thinks you're cool except maybe Mackenzie your male barista. He's sympathetic to your feelings. 

Regarding fantasy, and even regular football talk, the term “bellcow” when it comes to running backs.

Fantasy football discussion is the same as any topic really.  If I'm inclined to mention it to someone in small talk, I'll usually ask if they play.  If they say no, I'll think of something else to talk about.  It's pretty much the same with any topic.  If the person doesn't have kids, I won't really talk about parenting stuff.  If you're not into running, or cycling like me, I'll likely avoid talks about it.  On the other hand, I don't mind people discussing their unique interests, even if it's not my thing, and most people I talk with who don't share my interests are willing to do the same.  If you are a boring person and act snotty when I talk about something that interests me (there being nothing else to really discuss besides the weather) maybe the problem is you.

13 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Fantasy football discussion is the same as any topic really.  If I'm inclined to mention it to someone in small talk, I'll usually ask if they play.  If they say no, I'll think of something else to talk about.  It's pretty much the same with any topic.  If the person doesn't have kids, I won't really talk about parenting stuff.  If you're not into running, or cycling like me, I'll likely avoid talks about it.  On the other hand, I don't mind people discussing their unique interests, even if it's not my thing, and most people I talk with who don't share my interests are willing to do the same.  If you are a boring person and act snotty when I talk about something that interests me (there being nothing else to really discuss besides the weather) maybe the problem is you.

We could always talk about your wife's tits.

Probably discussed above but I’m too lazy. People who pronounce the H in words like whip and when. I’m looking at you, Mom-in-law.

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