Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[NeverMarryAStripper 21921]

People

[Prepuce of Doom 21103]

9 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

In a similar vein, people that leave 1+ car lengths in front of them at lights. I used to work out of a house on Bull Creek and 45th and would watch this happen all day. Sometimes 2-3 car lengths, which would ultimately fuck over at least 5 cars from getting through the light. I’m not asking people to be right up on the bumper of the car in front of them, but you don’t need a 15 foot gap. 

People who do this in the drive thru lane should be hung. 

~~~~~

When I'm at a stoplight that includes occupied left turn lanes on both sides, I'm continually amazed by how many people first in line and heading straight begin inching forward when they see the light turn yellow for the cross street traffic. 

How do you not understand that you're still going to have to wait for the people turning left before it turns green to go straight? 

Edited May 12, 2023 by Prepuce of Doom

[52-80 19246]

people who've already stood in line for a while with the menu just ahead of them, and when they go up to the counter still ask incredibly dumb questions.

"do you have french fries"

motherfucker did you not read?

[closetohumping 17470]

My local chic fil a fucks up my order every time

[Native Horn 3515]

18 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

People that call me "brother" when I'm not their brother. 

Duly noted, boss.

[52-80 19246]

57 minutes ago, Native Horn said:

Duly noted, boss.

we heard ya, chief

[HOOKEM4 5044]

12 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

we heard ya, chief

Damn straight, hoss.

[Storm the Field 5302]

So, I follow the "Houston Heights Foodies" group on FB that's actually quite useful for news about restaurant openings and reviews of new places. However, there are lots of simpletons on there that ask extremely broad, dumb questions.

"Looking for a good place to eat inside the Beltway that serves alcohol" Oh, that narrows it down!

Or the morons in the comments that didn't read the original post. 

Somebody will be like "Tried (restaurant) on (street) in (neighborhood). Really loved the fajitas and the margaritas were strong but tasty!"

In the comments: "Looks good, what restaurant and where is it located?"

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

14 hours ago, Ignatius said:

People who take forever to ask a simple question…

Wives?

I just want to know where you hid the trash bags, not a laundry list of everything you bought at the store that day.

[ABSR 5324]

23 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

People that call me "brother" when I'm not their brother. 

Me too buddy!

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

On 5/11/2023 at 9:23 AM, Steamboat1874 said:

That would never be me.

When I am first in line at a light, my preferred spot, I treat that light like a drag racer. I will be gone and up to the speed limit within 4 seconds even if it 55MPH.

 

you gonna get t-boned

 

 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

53 minutes ago, ABSR said:

Me too buddy!

I'm not your buddy, pal.

[General Specific 3268]

I'm not your buddy, pal.

I’m not your pal, bro!

[Superhero 8842]

4 hours ago, General Specific said:

I’m not your pal, bro!

Whatever you say tiger. 

[Superhero 8842]

11 hours ago, closetohumping said:

My local chic fil a fucks up my order every time

The one on Jamboree or at the District?

[closetohumping 17470]

21 minutes ago, Superhero said:

The one on Jamboree or at the District?

Nah.  The poors at Woodbury 

[conVINCEd 21469]

14 hours ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Damn straight, hoss.

That was my first longhorn internet handle way back in the days when you started to download an album when you went to bed and hoped it was done by the time you woke up.

[Bevo&Pevo 5218]

On 5/2/2023 at 6:06 AM, GoPokes83 said:

I’m a Pepsi guy. For some reason Buc-ees has stopped carrying all Pepsi products. It’s the only decent c-store in this town.

Probably because the Coke products sell more.  I'd rather go in a store and box of tampons for the wife than go buy a pepsi.

Edited May 15, 2023 by Bevo&Pevo

[Guest]

something, something, Code Red...giggle.

[PvilleStang 2921]

Heading into work, there's a light that is roughly a 5 minute cycle.  Coming up to the left turn lane, there's maybe 10 cars in front of me.  9 of them follow each other pretty tightly to get through the light, and I'm stuck behind the dolt that leaves a 10 car gap between her and the car in front of her.  She's three car lengths from the light, and it turns yellow.  She stops at a solid yellow and makes me and three behind me miss the light.  5 minutes of precious twitter / surly time I missed due to her most likely texting and driving.

Edited May 16, 2023 by PvilleStang

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

12 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

I'm stuck behind the dolt that leaves a 10 car gap between her and the car in front of her.

I've seen a bunch of people doing that lately. Asking around I get "if you are too close tot he car in front of you and you get rear ended, you'll get hurt worse".

Ok. Probably true, but 3 car lengths? Are you planning on getting hit from behind by a train?

[Tylerocks 2553]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever is in charge of sizing mens polo's etc.

WTF are you doing?

As a pretty standard sized male human, I fully expect to be relegated to the kids section soon.  Got a polo from work, it fits great.  It's a fucking M.  I haven't worn a Medium anything since middle school.

Found a Large Adidas golf polo at Marshalls, it might as well have been a 3X.

 

C'mon man.

 

[52-80 19246]

people who pronounce roof, "ruf"

[General Specific 3268]

people who pronounce roof, "ruf"

Depends on the topic, for example:

[Vic Mackey 47151]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever is in charge of sizing mens polo's etc.
WTF are you doing?
As a pretty standard sized male human, I fully expect to be relegated to the kids section soon.  Got a polo from work, it fits great.  It's a fucking M.  I haven't worn a Medium anything since middle school.
Found a Large Adidas golf polo at Marshalls, it might as well have been a 3X.
 
C'mon man.
 

Sizing in footwear and clothes in general. Why isn't there any consistency from brand to brand? There is brands of shoes that run smaller or bigger than others.

[Sam Lin 3561]

9 hours ago, Tylerocks said:

I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever is in charge of sizing mens polo's etc.

WTF are you doing?

Not only that, but brands fucking with their established sizing and fits! Ralph Lauren managed to push me away by adjusting, adding, and removing random fit options every few years to the point where I now don't know wtf size actually fits me, and gave up on trying. Custom Fit, Custom Slim Fit, Slim Fit, Regular Fit, but a Regular M is not the same size as a Regular M from 5 years ago is not the same as a Regular M from 10 years ago. I can somewhat forgive lack of standardization across different brands, but within a brand???

WTF are you doing?

[NWBuck 8586]

8 hours ago, 52-80 said:

people who pronounce roof, "ruf"

[52-80 19246]

5 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Not only that, but brands fucking with their established sizing and fits! Ralph Lauren managed to push me away by adjusting, adding, and removing random fit options every few years to the point where I now don't know wtf size actually fits me, and gave up on trying. Custom Fit, Custom Slim Fit, Slim Fit, Regular Fit, but a Regular M is not the same size as a Regular M from 5 years ago is not the same as a Regular M from 10 years ago. I can somewhat forgive lack of standardization across different brands, but within a brand???

WTF are you doing?

Modern Fit, Athletic Fit, Tailored Fit, New York Fit…

[PvilleStang 2921]

Where's fat ass fit?  Beer drinkers' fit?  Extra-ball-room fit?  

But honestly, Polo t-shirts seem to get smaller vertically as of late.  I'm not a big and tall guy, but when I wear a polo, I'd expect to raise my arms and my belt or belly button not make an appearance.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

New York Fit…

Does that account for the baseball bat you carry?

[52-80 19246]

25 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Does that account for the baseball bat you carry?

Don’t forget the Timbalands

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

2 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Where's fat ass fit?  Beer drinkers' fit?  Extra-ball-room fit?  

But honestly, Polo t-shirts seem to get smaller vertically as of late.  I'm not a big and tall guy, but when I wear a polo, I'd expect to raise my arms and my belt or belly button not make an appearance.

 

Dad bod fit?

 

[Sandman 3412]

I get this call at work almost every day:

"I have questions about the paperwork you sent me"

Ok, what's the ID number on the paper?

"Uhh, hang on. I'm driving and it's hard to read this, ha ha".  Or  "I don't have the forms in front of me, I'm currently driving"

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

29 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

Wives thread----------->

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Sandman said:

I get this call at work almost every day:

"I have questions about the paperwork you sent me"

Ok, what's the ID number on the paper?

"Uhh, hang on. I'm driving and it's hard to read this, ha ha".  Or  "I don't have the forms in front of me, I'm currently driving"

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

Related- dumb motherfuckers cannot navigate our reporting systems and data( see also: set bookmarks/ favorites,) but this behavior is compounded by the utter lack of respect they have by calling me while in the market as if I should walk them through it over the phone( blind.).  Just fuck you, you lazy, inconsiderate motherfuckers.  The old guy(me) shouldn’t be the tech guru.  Put in your own work, assholes. I’m not a fucking helpdesk. 

Edited May 18, 2023 by slorch

[Superhero 8842]

10 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Dad bod fit?

 

I don’t have a dad bod. I prefer to call it a father figure. 

[52-80 19246]

I ordered some pants from a store online and it was the wrong size so I went to the store to swap it. 

Wasnt sure if the other sizes would fit, so I decided to do a return first, instead of an exchange, and try on the other sizes later while perusing the store.

When I got home I realized the online order was bought during sale at half off, and the replacement I bought back was for full price. 

[Guest]

12 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

I ordered some pants from a store online and it was the wrong size so I went to the store to swap it. 

Wasnt sure if the other sizes would fit, so I decided to do a return first, instead of an exchange, and try on the other sizes later while perusing the store.

When I got home I realized the online order was bought during sale at half off, and the replacement I bought back was for full price. 

You learned that shit from my wife didn't ya?

[gofuckyourself 8385]

People who text work related shit like an infantile idiot who thinks I share their brain.

"John Smith is coming!"

Ok, is he bringing x, y or z? Is Jane Smith coming who provides similar services and was there the previous week?

I text back.

No answer.

Motherfucker you had your fucking phone in your hand 3 seconds ago, unless you scheduled that text like a fucking lunatic. So answer and give the required details.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, gofuckyourself said:

you had your fucking phone in your hand 3 seconds ago

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

Silence...

[Sam Lin 3561]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

 

Her: "To grab dinner, dipshit. I just told you that."

[Biff Tannen 45742]

On 5/16/2023 at 9:57 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

Ok. Probably true, but 3 car lengths? Are you planning on getting hit from behind by a train?

Maybe it was South Austin’s mom. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

18 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

Her: "To grab dinner, dipshit. I just told you that."

Ah. You've texted my wife, I see.

[Fudbelty 2789]

People who text work related shit like an infantile idiot who thinks I share their brain.
"John Smith is coming!"
Ok, is he bringing x, y or z? Is Jane Smith coming who provides similar services and was there the previous week?
I text back.
No answer.
Motherfucker you had your fucking phone in your hand 3 seconds ago, unless you scheduled that text like a fucking lunatic. So answer and give the required details.

You work with my wife? So to speak.

[Sandman 3412]

4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

Silence...

They don't care what you have to say. They just HAVE to get their words out to someone. The text is just a way for her thoughts to reach the universe. 

[Underdog 28773]

On 5/18/2023 at 1:53 AM, NWBuck said:

He looks ruf & tuf. 

[nnm 36640]

6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

My wife does this and it drives me nuts.

"I'm going to run to grab dinner, you want something"?

Me: "Where are you going?"

Silence...

She’s going to drive your nuts. Not sure what you’re complaining about. 

[WhatTheBuck 28798]

On 5/18/2023 at 12:18 PM, Sandman said:

Who the fuck decides they have important questions about shit and then immediately jumps into their car and drives around?????

Jack Kerouac. 

[nnm 36640]

Not so trivial.
Left the place I was staying in Dakar, Senegal at 11:30 am Texas time Thursday. After a long layover in Brussels and a short one in Newark, I just enjoyed a 5 hour delay because of weather at DFW, during which we got diverted to Houston. I finally arrived at DFW at 10:00 pm Friday.

After getting my truck and driving home to ETX, I should be home around midnight. 36+ hour trip. 
Oh, and as mentioned in the shart thread, the squirts on the planes and in the airports were fun too. 

Edited May 20, 2023 by nnm

[SHOOTER12 8828]

10 hours ago, Underdog said:

He looks ruf & tuf. 

Beautiful animal.