Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[ABSR 5,309]

2 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

She is a sugar momma at times. 

I'm a lucky guy. Having an 11 inch cock can cause some problems, but it has a few advantages.

I'm sure you walk funny and whistle when the wind blows, but if mamma straps the 11 incher on I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

[GoPokes83 2,240]

She is a sugar momma at times. 
I'm a lucky guy. Having an 11 inch cock can cause some problems, but it has a few advantages.

11 inches? Is it unusually cold where you live?

[Prepuce of Doom 21,065]

3 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

She is a sugar momma at times. 

I'm a lucky guy. Having an 11 inch cock can cause some problems, but it has a few advantages.

Username, etc. 

[Sam Lin 3,555]

22 hours ago, nnm said:

It’s hard to go back to poors status.

Ain't that the truth. For me the biggest annoyance is waiting in the check-in line after not having done it for years!

[Doze 1,322]

On 10/5/2023 at 9:47 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I blame the airlines for their luggage policy. You used to check 2 bags for free and have one carryon. Didn't matter when you got on the plane, there was usually room for your carryon. Now they are charging and not enforcing the size of the carryon. Just look at that person in the center screen--she has a huge fucking backpack and a purse and a blue bag. All that shit will take up more than her share of the overhead. Now multiply her by everyone in line and you see why people want to rush to get on the plane early. /end surly rant

Same shit happens on SouthWest Airlines and their policy is 2 check bags fo' free. 

[conVINCEd 21,469]

On 10/5/2023 at 3:23 PM, ABSR said:

I rent children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!   Pro Tip!

If it flies, floats, or fucks

NVM

[Guest]

On 10/5/2023 at 8:01 PM, Tex Long said:

They let you get a crutch past security and onto a plane now?

That's my service animal.  It used to be a bull's cock.

[BrazilHorn 6,586]

I fly quite a bit (Global Services on United eg). The people who crowd the boarding gate that are in group 9 need to get the fuck out of the way. 
 

Edit- just saw the comment re GS upthread. It’s real and it’s fabulous. 

Edited October 10, 2023 by BrazilHorn

[Brothahorn 10,087]

The Halloween Store!

[mininghorn88 2,282]

Not necessarily trivial but certainly makes me surly.

This past Saturday afternoon I took my two young granddaughters (4-1/2 years old and 3-1/2 years old) to Jurassic Quest at the Shreveport Convention Center. I paid to park in the Convention Center parking garage. While we were having an enjoyable time someone took it upon themselves to vandalize my truck. They did not break into my truck but just put a dent in my tailgate.

I reported it to on-site security on Saturday. Today they manager called and said, “Sorry, we have signs posted that they are not responsible for damages to your vehicle”. 

They have security cameras but only at the entrance and exit. Security is there just to watch the cashiers. Ugh.

Twice now my truck has been damaged by others with me to either fix or live with.

Mean people suck.

[ImissWallyPryor 9,046]

An old hs classmate of one of my kids named their baby daughter Beighler, pronounced Baylor. 

[Superhero 8,828]

[PvilleStang 2,875]

12 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

An old hs classmate of one of my kids named their baby daughter Beighler, pronounced Baylor. 

Bet she's going to be really good at gaslighting and keeping secrets.

[HRSchenker 2,268]

15 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

An old hs classmate of one of my kids named their baby daughter Beighler, pronounced Baylor. 

I went to school with a girl named Taylor Taylor Taylor. She HATED her name. I know she got it legally changed when she went to college and got it changed again when married. Parents can be brutal when they don't need to be.

[ABSR 5,309]

15 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

An old hs classmate of one of my kids named their baby daughter Beighler, pronounced Baylor. 

So they raped the language, but you are going to cover it up for them?

[Biff Tannen 45,673]

39 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

I went to school with a girl named Taylor Taylor Taylor. She HATED her name. I know she got it legally changed when she went to college and got it changed again when married. Parents can be brutal when they don't need to be.

That's...unusual.

[Nuge 1,966]

1 hour ago, HRSchenker said:

I went to school with a girl named Taylor Taylor Taylor. She HATED her name. I know she got it legally changed when she went to college and got it changed again when married. Parents can be brutal when they don't need to be.

It would be funny if she married this guy- Courtney Taylor-Taylor

Ta

Taylor Taylor Taylor Taylor-Taylor

[nnm 36,360]

 

[WhatTheBuck 28,776]

2 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

I went to school with a girl named Taylor Taylor Taylor. She HATED her name. I know she got it legally changed when she went to college and got it changed again when married. Parents can be brutal when they don't need to be.

When I was in high school i knew a girl whose last name was Cox. Her parents named her Dreama. I know she wasn’t lying because she showed me her drivers license.

[Vic Mackey 47,019]

Parents who try and be "cute" and give their kids these names are the fucking worst.

[Superhero 8,828]

I want to get better on guitar, but...

[Vic Mackey 47,019]

Wrong thread

[SHOOTER12 8,800]

6 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

I went to school with a girl named Taylor Taylor Taylor. She HATED her name. I know she got it legally changed when she went to college and got it changed again when married. Parents can be brutal when they don't need to be.

I had a best friend named J. Linda. He married a woman named Linda Handleman....married name? Why Linda Linda of course. 

[Sandman 3,403]

3 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

Parents who try and be "cute" and give their kids these names are the fucking worst.

My buddy wanted to name his first kid (a girl) after his dad, who has a unisex type of name. His dad said, please don't, I hate my name. They did it anyway but spelled it all fucked up, just to be different I guess. Years later, he told me "I regret that. She's gonna have people pronouncing her name wrong for the rest of her life". 

[ImissWallyPryor 9,046]

3 hours ago, Sandman said:

My buddy wanted to name his first kid (a girl) after his dad, who has a unisex type of name. His dad said, please don't, I hate my name. They did it anyway but spelled it all fucked up, just to be different I guess. Years later, he told me "I regret that. She's gonna have people pronouncing her name wrong for the rest of her life". 

I told my son that my only advice In naming their kid is to not give them a name that they will have to spell every day of their life. He responded, “Like Stephen?” His name, of course, is Stephen instead of Steven. 

Edited October 17, 2023 by ImissWallyPryor
Can’t spell

[Superhero 8,828]

Or Stephan

[ImissWallyPryor 9,046]

I used to coach baseball with a friend whose wife, Janet, named their three boys Jarrett, Jarrick, and Jarren. He always seemed a bit irritated that he had to emphasize the last syllable to get the correct boy’s attention.

[Brisketexan 105,095]

I used to coach baseball with a friend whose wife, Janet, named their three boys Jarrett, Jarrick, and Jarren. He always seemed a bit irritated that he had to emphasize the last syllable to get the correct boy’s attention.

As opposed to being annoyed at how ridiculously white his wife obviously was?

[NWBuck 8,552]

10 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

I went to school with a girl named Taylor Taylor Taylor. She HATED her name. I know she got it legally changed when she went to college and got it changed again when married. Parents can be brutal when they don't need to be.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,732]

My buddy wanted to name his first kid (a girl) after his dad, who has a unisex type of name. His dad said, please don't, I hate my name. They did it anyway but spelled it all fucked up, just to be different I guess. Years later, he told me "I regret that. She's gonna have people pronouncing her name wrong for the rest of her life". 

My dad is a Jr. First name is Estil. I asked why he didn’t name me the third one time. His response, “I’ve been called Biff my whole life and it isn’t because I liked my real name. I sure as hell ain’t passing it on to you.”

[Biff Tannen 45,673]

51 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I told my son that my only advice In naming their kid is to not give them a name that they will have to spell every day of their life. He responded, “like Stephen?” His name, of course, is Stephen instead of Steven. 

[PvilleStang 2,875]

Traffic light is out on Bee Cave Rd.  Sheriff is at said light with his lights on and sitting in the vehicle doing jack shit.  All the while, it took 15 minutes to get through the light because he refused to get out and direct traffic.  

[nnm 36,360]

9 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Traffic light is out on Bee Cave Rd.  Sheriff is at said light with his lights on and sitting in the vehicle doing jack shit.  All the while, it took 15 minutes to get through the light because he refused to get out and direct traffic.  

Van, Tx has a very small police force. 3-4 cops is my estimate. By “small” I mean headcount. One of those guys is 400 lbs or so. The only time I ever see him is in one of the three restaurants in town.  Really, that’s the only time I’ve ever seen him. Not directing traffic, not walking the bleachers at a HS game, for goodness sake not in a foot chase. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,065]

6 hours ago, nnm said:

Van, Tx has a very small police force. 3-4 cops is my estimate. By “small” I mean headcount. One of those guys is 400 lbs or so. The only time I ever see him is in one of the three restaurants in town.  Really, that’s the only time I’ve ever seen him. Not directing traffic, not walking the bleachers at a HS game, for goodness sake not in a foot chase. 

Protecting and serving himself another slice of cake. 

[mininghorn88 2,282]

My University of Texas coffee cup that I have had for almost 30 years that I exclusively use at my office has come up missing.  I was gone on a business trip for 2 weeks and when I returned to my office it was not to be found.  I never take it home.  I have also looked at home just to be sure.  I have checked all of the offices and have put up a "Missing" sign.  It is no where to be found.

I will probably stumble across it eventaully and I will then post it in the "Getting Old Sucks" thread about forgetfulness.

I has the sads.

[gofuckyourself 8,209]

When Mexican restaurants serve guacamole on a big piece of wrinkly lettuce, and that last 10% of it is a mission impossible style extraction op.

[Native Horn 3,500]

8 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

When Mexican restaurants serve guacamole on a big piece of wrinkly lettuce, and that last 10% of it is a mission impossible style extraction op.

Both are edible.

Avocados from Mexico!

Lettuce from Romania!

[gofuckyourself 8,209]

11 minutes ago, Native Horn said:

Both are edible.

Avocados from Mexico!

Lettuce from Romania!

Sure. 

And I could probably order a guacamole salad, but I'm not a communist.

If I want healthy vegetables with my rice, refried beans and three enchilada plate slathered in 8 ounces of melted cheese, I'll have some salsa.

[Sandman 3,403]

Went to Costco to get my paper towels. Came home and opened the package to discover that they don't individually wrap the rolls anymore, I guess. Now instead of putting the rolls on the shelves in the pantry, I have to find a place to store the whole giant package. 

[Frank The Tank 1,497]

Why does it matter if the individual rolls are wrapped while sitting on the shelf in the pantry?

Edited October 18, 2023 by Frank The Tank
.

[Sandman 3,403]

51 minutes ago, Frank The Tank said:

Why does it matter if the individual rolls are wrapped while sitting on the shelf in the pantry?

Because I don't want 12 giant open rolls of paper towels gathering dust or whatever in my pantry. My wife calls it the pantry but it's a closet inside the laundry room, there's no food just cleaning supplies and assorted crap that Mitch Cumsteen's wife would appreciate. 

[elfenix 34,230]

So many people stop just beyond this sign.

[Guest]

 

 

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

So many people stop just beyond this sign.

Because they are fucking morons.  You should see them ( never) try to merge at highway speeds on the freeway.

Edited October 18, 2023 by slorch

[Deej 76,759]

Westbound 15th, at the intersection of Lavaca. Traffic lights work on all sides of the intersection, except the westbound lanes where they have them covered.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

Went to Costco to get my paper towels. Came home and opened the package to discover that they don't individually wrap the rolls anymore, I guess. Now instead of putting the rolls on the shelves in the pantry, I have to find a place to store the whole giant package. 

Kirklands paper towels are individually wrapped in packs of 2. They’re bountyesque quality.

[GoPokes83 2,240]

Because I don't want 12 giant open rolls of paper towels gathering dust or whatever in my pantry. My wife calls it the pantry but it's a closet inside the laundry room, there's no food just cleaning supplies and assorted crap that Mitch Cumsteen's wife would appreciate. 

Just peel the top couple of “contaminated” sheets off the roll if it bugs you that they might be dusty. But I doubt the Bounty factory is a sterile environment, so who knows what’s trapped inside that wrapper anyway.

[PvilleStang 2,875]

1 hour ago, GoPokes83 said:

Just peel the top couple of “contaminated” sheets off the roll if it bugs you that they might be dusty. But I doubt the Bounty factory is a sterile environment, so who knows what’s trapped inside that wrapper anyway.

It's when the rat's piss all over the ends and you have to toss the entire roll. /SoonerStruggles

[Native Horn 3,500]

4 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Kirklands paper towels are individually wrapped in packs of 2. They’re bountyesque quality.

And also, Kirkland paper towels are not wrapped individually in packs of 12.

[locodos 5,387]

On 10/16/2023 at 11:13 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I used to coach baseball with a friend whose wife, Janet, named their three boys Jarrett, Jarrick, and Jarren. He always seemed a bit irritated that he had to emphasize the last syllable to get the correct boy’s attention.

Jt, Jk, Jn  ... you're welcome

 

[Trey3216 15,346]

On 10/16/2023 at 1:41 PM, Nuge said:

It would be funny if she married this guy- Courtney Taylor-Taylor

Ta

Taylor Taylor Taylor Taylor-Taylor