Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Brisketexan 105569]

Needed gas and stopped at Buc-Ees in Wharton. At least 40 pumps and all were full, but maybe 5 people actually pumping gas! The rest were just parked there while the people were inside buying sugary something and assorted bullshit made in China.

It’s like you don’t even NEED a distressed sign that says “Momma Needs Her Wine,” or “As For Me and My House, We Will Serve the Lord,” to go with a purse with a rhinestone cross on it. Why do you hate America?

[52-80 19277]

On 11/16/2023 at 9:35 PM, elfenix said:

i really fucking hate outlook's interface.  looks and works exactly the same as thunderbird from 25+ years ago.  came from using gmail professionally to this garbage.  where the fuck are my replies?  "you replied on november 14 at 12:31 pm" well show me the fucking reply instead of hiding it you fucking dick.  one of these things is damn near free from google and the other is microsoft's premier product, but you wouldn't know it from using them. 

to microsoft's credit, you can actually see changes in the product from week to week -- some of it actually useful -- which is amazing to witness from a 50-year old, 200k employee, 3 trillion dollar company.

[52-80 19277]

On 11/18/2023 at 5:21 PM, Okie State said:

Why does every retailer think that spamming me with thousands of emails is a good marketing strategy?

i posted this more than once:  regular emails from Macys or Best Buy is rationalizable.  i skim the regular newsletter from the sporting goods retailer because I buy their stuff frequently. 

but weekly spam from real estate agents and car dealerships.... wtf?

like, hey, its Juneteenth, I guess I'll just buy another $80k SUV.  dude, i dont give a shit if theres a Columbus Day Sale at the Dodge Ram Emporium.

[BearSchlong 8136]

Godiva has sent me 12 emails in the last 7 days. And Sonos, Allen Edmonds, and Costco aren't far behind. So irritating.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22030]

So far today I've received 4 emails from Sonobello asking me to have my fat rolls sucked out and three from AARP

[Guest]

All i get are bail bonds and dental implants...

[Superhero 8890]

My email address is Dick.Smallz@gmail.com   * 

I was getting email for DickSmallz@gmail.com. This guy took scuba lessons in Australia and took Uber rides in Dubai.

Recently I got emails from Walmart to (I'm presuming another guy) addressed to DickSmallz@gmail.com confirming he bought underwear... According to the emails, the guy's name is Dick Smallzarella.

 

According to Google, I "own" all the emails regardless of the dots, e.g. Dick.Smallz;   DickSmallz;   Di.ck.Sm.allz

So why is it letting other people register a similar email?

 

 

* Not my real email, but you all should email it and see if it bounces.

[PvilleStang 2924]

People are using your email address as a burner.  The dots in gmail are ignored.  Another really fun one: dicksmallz+IsADoucher@gmail.com will ALSO deliver to you.  Anything after the + is ignored.  So you can use your email and add a tag, e.g. DickSmallz+surly@gmail.com to register for sites and filter accordingly.

 

I've got the same problem with some asshat in Wisconsin that has been using my email address to register for everything.  Dumb ass even registered for Tax Slayer using my email address.  I went and reset his password, changed the 2FA phone device, and locked him out.  I've now got his address and SSN, among other things, after he's been doing this crap for 5 years now.  He's adopted a dog under my email, sent his kid to school and registered him under my email (took everything I had not to reply back to them and tell the school to unenroll him).  And somehow, his phone number is always delisted when I try to call him to tell him to stop.

[Trey3216 15380]

On 11/18/2023 at 10:21 AM, Okie State said:

Why does every retailer think that spamming me with thousands of emails is a good marketing strategy?

It works on your wife

[Storm the Field 5305]

Really shitty timing on getting sick. Wife left Sunday morning to go spend first half of Thanksgiving break with her family before coming back tomorrow. I was supposed to have a relaxing Sunday with the house all to myself and then 2 quiet days to get a bunch of stuff done at work and around the house before starting a 5-day weekend. 

Started feeling the early stages of something coming on not long after getting back from dropping her at the airport Sunday. Thought maybe I just had a delayed hangover, but could tell it was something more by sunset. Passed out on couch at 8:45 Sunday and woke up probably 8=9 times over the course of the night. Yesterday was the shittiest I've felt in a loooong time. Fever, aches, chills, fatigue. Still had to drag myself out of bed and get some work done. Spent the entire evening just laying on the couch. Maybe got 2 hours of actual sleep last night. Feels like I'm finally getting over the hump today. Praying to god I can actually get some sleep tonight and wake up feeling halfway normal tomorrow.

 

[BillyGoatHill 4331]

On 11/2/2023 at 12:05 PM, PvilleStang said:

  I'm all for the smaller 3-5 person groupings that sneak around and egg / toilet paper people's stuff, but just a mob of loud entitled shitheads is completely different.  Guess TP is still too expensive to be deployed in a proper manner.

 

On 11/2/2023 at 12:22 PM, Kilgorehorn said:

Egging is not cool. My first car was egged one year and I didn't see it until the next afternoon. When I washed the egg off the paint came off with it.

CSB/??

Egging might not be cool, but it can be damn fun. 

Kids egging or TPing houses on Halloween night was a right of passage in the small town I grew up in. Usually people started in middle school on up through graduation from high school. My folks house was seven miles out of town so the only year I participated in was my senior yr. I had a friend (dude was straight A's and pretty clean cut) from the Baseball team say...."Hey BGH, I want to hang with you tonight, we egging?" So,... I guess, Game On.

The year before, the senior class kept the 3 cops in town pretty busy, so my year, rumor was out that a lot of undercover cops from the major city just south of us would also be patrolling and picking up anyone doing shenanigans.

In the center of town is the Episcopal Church which had a low rock wall you could sit on and watch traffic that was cruising Main St. Myself, the 3rd baseman, some girls from our class, and some guys that graduated the year before but still in town are hanging out there when a late 70's Dodge Dart pulled up and two tall men get out. They say some small talk pleasantries and then get to the point..."Ya'll don't have any eggs do you?" Every one chimes in all at once..."Oh, No Sir. Not us"  ....they get back into the car and as they are driving off, "C'mon Rob!" We both step out into the street and pepper the back windshield and trunk with 2-3 eggs each.  Brake lights are tapped, but the car keeps going.... The seniors from the previous year ask what the hell are ya'll doing (?!!) and we just replied those dudes were (plain clothes) Cops!! This was to be verified about 15 seconds later when one of city patrol cars quickly pulls up with lights flashing......Everyone of course scatters, with myself and Rob running to the back of the church where the rectory is. There is a driveway leading up to it and the cop car is about 20' behind us when it stops and the officers are about to get out for a foot chase when we pepper the windshield with eggs. We hop some fences and the car proceeds back out to the road and tries looking for us in the neighborhood. We peppered him on at least four different corners before they gave up and went after someone else. 'Twas the  beginning to a pretty fun night. When I run into him at reunions, Rob always brings up one of "his funnest nights" in high school.

 

Full disclaimer: No way I would do this nowadays if in school, nor condone my kids doing it (risk getting shot or at least tazed), but back in the late 70's/early 80's....It was pretty Fucking FUN.....

(side note, I also had my truck egged plenty of X's while in high school and lost some paint too 🤷‍♂️).

[nnm 36842]

25 minutes ago, BillyGoatHill said:

 

CSB/??

Egging might not be cool, but it can be damn fun. 

Kids egging or TPing houses on Halloween night was a right of passage in the small town I grew up in. Usually people started in middle school on up through graduation from high school. My folks house was seven miles out of town so the only year I participated in was my senior yr. I had a friend (dude was straight A's and pretty clean cut) from the Baseball team say...."Hey BGH, I want to hang with you tonight, we egging?" So,... I guess, Game On.

The year before, the senior class kept the 3 cops in town pretty busy, so my year, rumor was out that a lot of undercover cops from the major city just south of us would also be patrolling and picking up anyone doing shenanigans.

In the center of town is the Episcopal Church which had a low rock wall you could sit on and watch traffic that was cruising Main St. Myself, the 3rd baseman, some girls from our class, and some guys that graduated the year before but still in town are hanging out there when a late 70's Dodge Dart pulled up and two tall men get out. They say some small talk pleasantries and then get to the point..."Ya'll don't have any eggs do you?" Every one chimes in all at once..."Oh, No Sir. Not us"  ....they get back into the car and as they are driving off, "C'mon Rob!" We both step out into the street and pepper the back windshield and trunk with 2-3 eggs each.  Brake lights are tapped, but the car keeps going.... The seniors from the previous year ask what the hell are ya'll doing (?!!) and we just replied those dudes were (plain clothes) Cops!! This was to be verified about 15 seconds later when one of city patrol cars quickly pulls up with lights flashing......Everyone of course scatters, with myself and Rob running to the back of the church where the rectory is. There is a driveway leading up to it and the cop car is about 20' behind us when it stops and the officers are about to get out for a foot chase when we pepper the windshield with eggs. We hop some fences and the car proceeds back out to the road and tries looking for us in the neighborhood. We peppered him on at least four different corners before they gave up and went after someone else. 'Twas the  beginning to a pretty fun night. When I run into him at reunions, Rob always brings up one of "his funnest nights" in high school.

 

Full disclaimer: No way I would do this nowadays if in school, nor condone my kids doing it (risk getting shot or at least tazed), but back in the late 70's/early 80's....It was pretty Fucking FUN.....

(side note, I also had my truck egged plenty of X's while in high school and lost some paint too 🤷‍♂️).

Egging a cop multiple times is a good way to get shot if live in the wrong town or part of town. 

[BillyGoatHill 4331]

Egging a cop multiple times is a good way to get shot if live in the wrong town or part of town. 

Well, no shit. I guess you didn’t read ALL that I wrote. Different time back then.
3 years earlier, the Cops in town did catch some guys egging. They took them all to the car wash…. Had them line up against the wall and egged all of them with their own eggs.

[Lat22 4051]

Every “news” channel doing reports on how to cut calories on Thanksgiving Day. It’s one fucking meal. Let er rip. 

[Degenerate Gardner 4104]

Apologies if this exceeds triviality or should go in the stupid shit wives do thread.

Fucking boxed stuffing. My wife bought some without shame as if it wasn’t an abomination. Needless to say, I will be making real stuffing.

Edited November 22, 2023 by Degenerate Gardner

[nnm 36842]

32 minutes ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

Apologies if this exceeds triviality or should go in the stupid shit wives do thread.

Fucking boxed stuffing. My wife bought some without shame as if it wasn’t an abomination. Needless to say, I will be making real stuffing.

TLDR:  Your wife left the house and came back with her box stuffed.

[YGIFS 19453]

I offered to brine and smoke the turkey this year at the in laws.  They said it was too much work.  But I repeat “I’ll do all the work.”  Plus gives me time alone.  They insist no brine, no dry rub (too spicy), just broil:bake whatever the fuck.  They love meat, but once again a bland, flavorless bird that chews like a rubber band.  They’ll dump a quart of salt onto it before serving and pretend like we’re all on a carriage ride to flavor country.  

[Jameslaw121 4455]

On 11/17/2023 at 3:09 PM, Biff Tannen said:

This is a tough one.  I wouldn't run out and stop someone from parking in front of my house like that.  Then again, if I'm home, my car is on the curb already.  I've had it happen once or twice when I come home and someone is in my "spot" on the curb.  As long as it's gone in a few hours, whatever.  If they were there more than say 12 hours, we might have a problem.  Public street or not, we are living in a society.

There is a grandma who comes over and watches her grandkids a few days a week and parks her really nice f-150 in front of my house on the curb. I really don't care, but every Sunday, I have to go over there and tell her that I'm about to mow my lawn so she might want to move her truck. She's like 70, so I'm not about to be rude to her or anything. But, it has been like 5 years of about 35 Sundays an year. And there is room in front of there house.......

[Prepuce of Doom 21112]

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

There is a grandma who comes over and watches her grandkids a few days a week and parks her really nice f-150 in front of my house on the curb. I really don't care, but every Sunday, I have to go over there and tell her that I'm about to mow my lawn so she might want to move her truck. She's like 70, so I'm not about to be rude to her or anything. But, it has been like 5 years of about 35 Sundays an year. And there is room in front of there house.......

You've given her ample notice. If she still lacks the requisite pattern detection skills at this stage of the game and at her age, she's never going to learn, so let 'er rip. 

[Sam Lin 3564]

Pics of gilf?

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

Taking a friend to the Austin airport this morning. It's 5:30 a.m. The same lights that take six minutes in rush hour traffic to make one full cycle take six minutes at 5:30 a.m., despite the fact that each light could be only 10 seconds because there are either no cars there or only one.  Sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting, burning fuel, insulting the planet, watching my one, little, GRANTED life ebb away just because I'm a law-abiding citizen.

[YuppiesOfftheEastSide 28]

6 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Taking a friend to the Austin airport this morning. It's 5:30 a.m. The same lights that take six minutes in rush hour traffic to make one full cycle take six minutes at 5:30 a.m., despite the fact that each light could be only 10 seconds because there are either no cars there or only one.  Sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting, burning fuel, insulting the planet, watching my one, little, GRANTED life ebb away just because I'm a law-abiding citizen.

I’d always get so mad when the cops would randomly close the entire 183 ramp system at about that time of morning and you’d have to find some way around. things got a lot better once they finally fixed those bridges

Edited November 23, 2023 by YuppiesOfftheEastSide

[Brisketexan 105569]

I offered to brine and smoke the turkey this year at the in laws.  They said it was too much work.  But I repeat “I’ll do all the work.”  Plus gives me time alone.  They insist no brine, no dry rub (too spicy), just broil:bake whatever the fuck.  They love meat, but once again a bland, flavorless bird that chews like a rubber band.  They’ll dump a quart of salt onto it before serving and pretend like we’re all on a carriage ride to flavor country.  

Counterpoint: fuck em. At least brine the bird and make it edible. They’ll never know, because they have the palate of Minnesotans with their tongues removed, but you will. And at this point in life, it’s all about you.

[YGIFS 19453]

I brined it in secret.  Gonna let them dry rub it to their liking.  Which means six gallons of salt. But bird is looking good.  Gonna glaze it with bourbon syrup afterwards for color.  At least I talk em outta chicken fried steak using the ny strips. 

[nnm 36842]

19 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I brined it in secret.  Gonna let them dry rub it to their liking.  Which means six gallons of salt. But bird is looking good.  Gonna glaze it with bourbon syrup afterwards for color.  At least I talk em outta chicken fried steak using the ny strips. 

Just baste it with Dorothy Lynch. They’ll love you forever. 

[YGIFS 19453]

I basted Dorth Lynch after junior prom once.  Is that anything?

[Brisketexan 105569]

I brined it in secret.  Gonna let them dry rub it to their liking.  Which means six gallons of salt. But bird is looking good.  Gonna glaze it with bourbon syrup afterwards for color.  At least I talk em outta chicken fried steak using the ny strips. 

I mean….I’d eat a chicken fried strip….

[Sandman 3420]

Why the fuck did I just eat powdered sugar donuts while wearing a black shirt? 

[tbone_ 14256]

Because they are awesome

[nnm 36842]

11 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Why the fuck did I just eat powdered sugar donuts while wearing a black shirt? 

I once made the mistake of getting some coffee and beignets to go from Cafe Du Monde as I left NOLA for my drive back to Houston. 

[Js1 85744]

I’ve been packing up my house to move and I have found 4 sets of keys that don’t unlock a single door in this house. I’m very surly and confused about it 

[tbone_ 14256]

You have to keep them forever in case they fit something important some day

[Guest]

Why does the local TV network seemingly feel obligated to put their shit on the screen when a big game is on.  Without fail. 

Storms could be 100 miles from the general viewing area, we had one in September baseball games from fucking Tucumcari, NM; but nah, every 5 minutes...beep.beep.beep.fucking beep the whole fucking game. "  Alert:  It's fucking November and it's freezing outside."  " Hey dumbasses trapped in a basement or a casino...hey motherfuckers, it's cold outside.  Nobody is in danger.  Literally nothing is threatened by this little weather system, and anyone with a gotdam window can see it is overcast and chilly."

The beep,beep, beep is annoying and the map on the screen is unnecessary.  Fuck these putos.

Edited November 25, 2023 by slorch

[WhatTheBuck 28825]

On 11/21/2023 at 9:24 AM, PvilleStang said:

took everything I had not to reply back to them and tell the school to unenroll him

Fuck him. Do it. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21112]

On 11/21/2023 at 8:24 AM, PvilleStang said:

People are using your email address as a burner.  The dots in gmail are ignored.  Another really fun one: dicksmallz+IsADoucher@gmail.com will ALSO deliver to you.  Anything after the + is ignored.  So you can use your email and add a tag, e.g. DickSmallz+surly@gmail.com to register for sites and filter accordingly.

 

I've got the same problem with some asshat in Wisconsin that has been using my email address to register for everything.  Dumb ass even registered for Tax Slayer using my email address.  I went and reset his password, changed the 2FA phone device, and locked him out.  I've now got his address and SSN, among other things, after he's been doing this crap for 5 years now.  He's adopted a dog under my email, sent his kid to school and registered him under my email (took everything I had not to reply back to them and tell the school to unenroll him).  And somehow, his phone number is always delisted when I try to call him to tell him to stop.

Start sending increasingly bold messages coming on to the school secretary. 

[Doze 1322]

On 11/25/2023 at 1:01 PM, slorch said:

Why does the local TV network seemingly feel obligated to put their shit on the screen when a big game is on.  Without fail. 

Storms could be 100 miles from the general viewing area, we had one in September baseball games from fucking Tucumcari, NM; but nah, every 5 minutes...beep.beep.beep.fucking beep the whole fucking game. "  Alert:  It's fucking November and it's freezing outside."  " Hey dumbasses trapped in a basement or a casino...hey motherfuckers, it's cold outside.  Nobody is in danger.  Literally nothing is threatened by this little weather system, and anyone with a gotdam window can see it is overcast and chilly."

The beep,beep, beep is annoying and the map on the screen is unnecessary.  Fuck these putos.

I am with you on this.  I guess the local channels are trying to cause some sort of hysteria to benefit their viewership.  It's gotten significantly worse in the last few years.....If the escalation continues, the gov/t may need to get involved.  It won't be much different than yelling "Fire" in a crowded movie theater at some point.

[PvilleStang 2924]

21 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Start sending increasingly bold messages coming on to the school secretary. 

Wife gets mad when she catches me coming on anyone else. Especially if I'm pretending to be some cheese-head.

[GoPokes83 2240]

I once made the mistake of getting some coffee and beignets to go from Cafe Du Monde as I left NOLA for my drive back to Houston. 

Feel free to laugh at me but I keep these bad boys in my truck and the wife’s SUV. As a man that can stain his shirt drinking a glass of water these have come in handy.

[nnm 36842]

47 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:

Feel free to laugh at me but I keep these bad boys in my truck and the wife’s SUV. As a man that can stain his shirt drinking a glass of water these have come in handy.

The bib or the cameltoe?

[Prepuce of Doom 21112]

54 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:

Feel free to laugh at me but I keep these bad boys in my truck and the wife’s SUV. As a man that can stain his shirt drinking a glass of water these have come in handy.

I can't imagine that you're unaware, but you should probably buy a half dozen Tide To Go pens and keep them handy.

In addition to saving your shirts, they can also occasionally earn you a tremendous debt of gratitude from clients and others in a work setting. Keeping one in my briefcase/rollerbag has proven indispensable on countless occasions...

[PvilleStang 2924]

On 11/24/2023 at 9:53 AM, nnm said:

I once made the mistake of NOT getting some coffee and beignets to go from Cafe Du Monde as I left NOLA for my drive back to Houston. 

FIFY

How can you EVER call that a mistake, unless you're talking about the coffee?

Edited November 27, 2023 by PvilleStang

[High Plains Drifter 11055]

On 11/22/2023 at 12:29 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

There is a grandma who comes over and watches her grandkids a few days a week and parks her really nice f-150 in front of my house on the curb. I really don't care, but every Sunday, I have to go over there and tell her that I'm about to mow my lawn so she might want to move her truck. She's like 70, so I'm not about to be rude to her or anything. But, it has been like 5 years of about 35 Sundays an year. And there is room in front of there house.......

 

On 11/22/2023 at 1:43 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

You've given her ample notice. If she still lacks the requisite pattern detection skills at this stage of the game and at her age, she's never going to learn, so let 'er rip. 

 

Yah, if she's so senile she can't remember to move it on Sunday, she shouldn't be driving, especially a F150.

 

[nnm 36842]

2 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

FIFY

How can you EVER call that a mistake, unless you're talking about the coffee?

Oh, the beignets weren’t the mistake. Getting them to go was the mistake. After I finished eating them I and my car looked like Pacino in Scarface as we hurtled west on I-10. 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11822]

Asshole neighbors who keep their house lit up all night like a surgical unit.  
 

[Biff Tannen 45763]

Asshole creepy neighbors that lurk in the bushes taking pictures of my house at night so I have to keep the lights on to deter them.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11822]

13 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Asshole creepy neighbors that lurk in the bushes taking pictures of my house at night so I have to keep the lights on to deter them.

Use some discretion, asshole, and I won’t be looking at your wife that never, ever takes her pants off no matter how long I look!

[52-80 19277]

5 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Asshole neighbors who keep their house lit up all night like a surgical unit.  
 

if your night lights are that shade of white instead of a warm golden glow, summins wrong wif u

[PvilleStang 2924]

I'm with you on that.  I have mine on a timer to shut off at 10pm, but I've got neighbors on the side and across the street that have lights on all night that shine right into the windows, and it drives me NUTS.  And our HOA has a policy against leaving lights on like that, but only bothers to police if your trash cans have been at your curb longer than 24 hours.

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

On 11/27/2023 at 3:34 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 

Yah, if she's so senile she can't remember to move it on Sunday, she shouldn't be driving, especially a F150.

 

You mow your yard 35 times a year? I don't think I mowed mine 35 times in the last 10 years.

[Cajun 11764]

Anytime I stop on the SEC Network during my channel surfing, there's a good chance I'll hear this narrator's cringy, ridiculously overdone, for pretend "Southern" drawl.  Something about it makes me want to take a flamethrower to my television...

And it's too bad, because it's a well done and interesting production.  It's funny, because when he interviews people in the show he drops that stupid accent.

Edited November 29, 2023 by Cajun