Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11667]

1 minute ago, Superhero said:

The others have BMIs that only @Vic Mackey would love. There’s also amputee in the line up.

i mean . . . that's a great way to drop your bmi

[Sam Lin 3539]

2 hours ago, Superhero said:

Looking at the Victoria’s Secret website for some lingerie for the wife.

Maybe 1 out of 3 are VS models we love and remember. The others have BMIs that only @Vic Mackey would love. There’s also amputee in the line up.

 

I guess they’re trying to be representative of the population, but not what I want to see at 6AM on the crapper. 

Go to Fredericks of Hollywood to find the lingerie photos you're looking for.

[deadshank 24646]

Right on red blockers 

[Basil 742]

On 12/9/2023 at 11:27 PM, NWBuck said:

Sitting in the media room watching a movie. Lights tuned exactly as they should be. 

Wife comes in, "looking for something" and turns the lights on. Doesn't find it ("why don't you look where it's supposed to be?" /tone). Leaves room, leaves lights on. 

Sigh. Pause movie and turn the lights off. Sit back down and resume film. 

Daughter enters the room, turns lights on. "Oh, I didn't think anyone was in here... Have you seen my (thing wife was looking for)?" 

"Nope. Your mom already looked in here. Have you looked where it's supposed to be?" 

Daughter rolls eyes, leaves room, leaves lights on. 

Sigh. 

Are you a fucking mute or what?  Use your words.

[elfenix 34157]

Sitting here eating lunch, it's heavy overcast and 75 outside and they've got the AC going like it's 90 and sunny. Freezing my ass off.

[Orale 1085]

Cars entering a parking lot off a busy street that pause at the entrance of the lot for a few seconds to survey where they want to park causing cars behind them to abruptly stop and block traffic in said busy street.  

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2720]

Die Hard
Violent Night
Fatman
Those are the only Christmas movies that I now acknowledge

Better Off Dead is not on your list sir.

[Not that Bob 734]

9 hours ago, deadshank said:

Right on red blockers 

Props for your music

[closetohumping 17339]

People that say see you next year on 12/31

[SHOOTER12 8775]

On 11/15/2023 at 9:49 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

Adriana Lima’s plastic surgeon. 
 

Not trivial at all. She was the best VS model of all time, and it’s not even close. I will fight any one of you fuckers. 

JFC.....

[Biff Tannen 45421]

9 hours ago, Orale said:

Cars entering a parking lot off a busy street that pause at the entrance of the lot for a few seconds to survey where they want to park causing cars behind them to abruptly stop and block traffic in said busy street.  

This is fucking enraging. It’s just another example of people with zero awareness that other people exist in the world. 

[Underdog 28372]

Came close to clipping a car that wasn't completely in the center turn lane, fortunately no one was in the right lane. 

[elfenix 34157]

Came close to clipping a car that wasn't completely in the center turn lane, fortunately no one was in the right lane. 

Ragey. Or the people who are fully in the center turn lane but jerk to the right when making a left turn. No need to Scandinavian flick your 3 series on Kirby Drive, dumbshit.

[Vic Mackey 46808]

Cars entering a parking lot off a busy street that pause at the entrance of the lot for a few seconds to survey where they want to park causing cars behind them to abruptly stop and block traffic in said busy street.  

I lay on my horn at these oblivious fucks. I'll take it a step further and bring up parking lots in general. Can't stand them. So many cut across, drive the wrong way, drive way too fast. That's why I just park at the far end and walk. Easy exit when leaving.

[closetohumping 17339]

22 hours ago, deadshank said:

Right on red blockers 

In this case, I agree, but sometimes, if I have to make a turn at the very next right, sorry gotta do it.

[CoTex 1157]

Almost got into a scrape today.

Ran out of firewood and having party tonight.  Need firewood but our annual guy ain’t doin it on weekend.

So I drive to a rural area in a sketch neighborhood where I have seen firewood for sale on side of road.  Guy with large pile is splitting logs and has a couple cords.  Inside a chain link fenced lot.

I asked for 40 sticks.  He says “$30 - you load it.”

I back truck in and start loading with my 11 year old son.  We get loaded, say thanks and are pulling out of lot.  Truck races up and blocks me in.  Large black man wearing a bunch of fake brand polo shit and gold gets out and starts cussing and screaming.  I mean this guy is at level 9 and going berserk.  Gimme my money mother fucker and this and that.

I figure out quickly that splitter guy ain’t the boss and boss ain’t happy with whatever deal I’ve cut.

Guy looks in bed of truck “you owe me $150.”  

Now I’ve got a couple of problems.  I’ve got $90 in my wallet - I don’t have $150.  11 year old feels very threatened - is crying.  Truck blocked in.  .40 in the center console of the truck - unloaded no ammo.

”calm down man - we can sort this out.”  Guy won’t calm down - irrational, freaking out.  Splitter guy walks away.  Zero help at all.

I said “I got $90, you can have it and the $30 I paid him and I’m leaving.”  
 

More “fuck you, gimme my money.”

I calmly repeated it about 3 more times before he took the $90 and moved his truck. It seriously crossed my mind that we were going to get shot or at least fist fight right there in front of my son.  Shitty deal.

now I’m surly and contemplating ways to take revenge and get my $90 back.

 

[closetohumping 17339]

1 hour ago, CoTex said:

Almost got into a scrape today.

Ran out of firewood and having party tonight.  Need firewood but our annual guy ain’t doin it on weekend.

So I drive to a rural area in a sketch neighborhood where I have seen firewood for sale on side of road.  Guy with large pile is splitting logs and has a couple cords.  Inside a chain link fenced lot.

I asked for 40 sticks.  He says “$30 - you load it.”

I back truck in and start loading with my 11 year old son.  We get loaded, say thanks and are pulling out of lot.  Truck races up and blocks me in.  Large black man wearing a bunch of fake brand polo shit and gold gets out and starts cussing and screaming.  I mean this guy is at level 9 and going berserk.  Gimme my money mother fucker and this and that.

I figure out quickly that splitter guy ain’t the boss and boss ain’t happy with whatever deal I’ve cut.

Guy looks in bed of truck “you owe me $150.”  

Now I’ve got a couple of problems.  I’ve got $90 in my wallet - I don’t have $150.  11 year old feels very threatened - is crying.  Truck blocked in.  .40 in the center console of the truck - unloaded no ammo.

”calm down man - we can sort this out.”  Guy won’t calm down - irrational, freaking out.  Splitter guy walks away.  Zero help at all.

I said “I got $90, you can have it and the $30 I paid him and I’m leaving.”  
 

More “fuck you, gimme my money.”

I calmly repeated it about 3 more times before he took the $90 and moved his truck. It seriously crossed my mind that we were going to get shot or at least fist fight right there in front of my son.  Shitty deal.

now I’m surly and contemplating ways to take revenge and get my $90 back.

 

Glad you're ok.  Fuck those two

[CoTex 1157]

If you have anything to lose.  Family, home, career, it’s hard to win in a situation like that.

yeah, on a keyboard we’re all Dirty Harry and Marcellus Wallace but when this dude is going all mf’er and your 11 year old is crying.  Are you going to push all your chips in on money that doesn’t really change your life?

As for me, I didn’t.  I guess I’m a pussy but now I’m drinking my woodford and gaining saltiness.

[nnm 35847]

14 minutes ago, CoTex said:

If you have anything to lose.  Family, home, career, it’s hard to win in a situation like that.

yeah, on a keyboard we’re all Dirty Harry and Marcellus Wallace but when this dude is going all mf’er and your 11 year old is crying.  Are you going to push all your chips in on money that doesn’t really change your life?

As for me, I didn’t.  I guess I’m a pussy but now I’m drinking my woodford and gaining saltiness.

Absolutely. There is nothing to be gained, and everything to be lost, by playing his game. Do everything you can within reason to GTFO and never look back. 

[Vic Mackey 46808]

If you have anything to lose.  Family, home, career, it’s hard to win in a situation like that.
yeah, on a keyboard we’re all Dirty Harry and Marcellus Wallace but when this dude is going all mf’er and your 11 year old is crying.  Are you going to push all your chips in on money that doesn’t really change your life?
As for me, I didn’t.  I guess I’m a pussy but now I’m drinking my woodford and gaining saltiness.

Glad you are ok. Were they pulling some sort of shakedown racket? Sounds sketchy as hell. Let someone load up for cheap. Angry, big black man and threatens the customer, hoping they come off anything they have just so they can leave un harmed.

They are going to run into the wrong person one day with nothing to lose or just doesn't fuck around with someone like that, and it can end badly for those people selling the firewood.

[Scheiss Meister 8387]

18 hours ago, Orale said:

Cars entering a parking lot off a busy street that pause at the entrance of the lot for a few seconds to survey where they want to park causing cars behind them to abruptly stop and block traffic in said busy street.  

Capital offense, if you ask me.

[CoTex 1157]

14 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Glad you are ok. Were they pulling some sort of shakedown racket? Sounds sketchy as hell. Let someone load up for cheap. Angry, big black man and threatens the customer, hoping they come off anything they have just so they can leave un harmed.

They are going to run into the wrong person one day with nothing to lose or just doesn't fuck around with someone like that, and it can end badly for those people selling the firewood.

I can’t be sure, but I suspect the log splitter guy was seasonal.  He didn’t look homeless but looked pretty rough.  No alarm bells because I was sorta expecting firewood guy to look like something from deliverance.  

I think boss guy probably went for coffee or something and when he came back he was surprised - didn’t expect to see someone driving off with his product.

Then overreacted and that combined with low IQ and blind rage - he couldn’t  put 2 and 2 together.

Did boss guy have a pistol in the truck?  I did (unloaded).  Knife in pocket?  If we start fighting is splitter guy gonna break it up?  Slap me with a firewood stick?

What the fuck man - I brought cash and just want firewood.  I asked for 40 sticks - you set the price.  It wasn’t even load up for cheap.  If dude had said $50 I would have paid it because real goal was to get home and spruce up yard for party.

Edited December 16, 2023 by CoTex

[closetohumping 17339]

1 hour ago, CoTex said:

If you have anything to lose.  Family, home, career, it’s hard to win in a situation like that.

yeah, on a keyboard we’re all Dirty Harry and Marcellus Wallace but when this dude is going all mf’er and your 11 year old is crying.  Are you going to push all your chips in on money that doesn’t really change your life?

As for me, I didn’t.  I guess I’m a pussy but now I’m drinking my woodford and gaining saltiness.

I used to be “likes to fight guy” screaming at cars that cut me off, flashing my beams , tailgating.  Now I just pretend that said person had an emergency and I helped them

[CoTex 1157]

1 minute ago, closetohumping said:

I used to be “likes to fight guy” screaming at cars that cut me off, flashing my beams , tailgating.  Now I just pretend that said person had an emergency and I helped them

I have been in fights everywhere from Port Aransas to Bridgeport Connecticut.  I have a scar over my left eye because right handed guy hit me good one night on 6th.  I have a scar on left palm because I ended up kicking and gouging in glass on the floor of a bar one night.

I was never likes to fight guy - just smartass big mouth guy.  But, Saturday morning wearing hoka’s with your kid - different game.

Getting madder.

[tbone_ 14016]

Could you have just called 911?

[Bevo&Pevo 4972]

Oreo's that will not soak up milk and half ass float.  Thus being half ass crunchy.

[CoTex 1157]

1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

Could you have just called 911?

Yeah.  I’ve asked myself that.  It was tense - I was trying to get him away from my son - truck blocked in and dude was screaming.  I should have stayed in truck with windows up and just called “the man.”

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

39 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Oreo's that will not soak up milk and half ass float.  Thus being half ass crunchy.

New to Oreos, are you?

[baboso 6043]

16 hours ago, CoTex said:

I have been in fights everywhere from Port Aransas to Bridgeport Connecticut.  I have a scar over my left eye because right handed guy hit me good one night on 6th.  I have a scar on left palm because I ended up kicking and gouging in glass on the floor of a bar one night.

I was never likes to fight guy - just smartass big mouth guy.  But, Saturday morning wearing hoka’s with your kid - different game.

Getting madder.

Go burn his woodyard down one night.

[ROFL BOX 6644]

[PvilleStang 2823]

Does he still work there, or did the dude get canned on his days off?

[ROFL BOX 6644]

35 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Does he still work there, or did the dude get canned on his days off?

I sent an email to person A with the company & CCd the customer (a Surler).

Person A then responded with me, the customer & Person B in a CC.

Prior to this email exchange, I had never interacted with Person B & it was Person A who brought them into the conversation.

[Superhero 8695]

Our entire department is out sick today...

 

One guy felt really sick last Wednesday, then came back to work on Thursday and Friday. He told me today his wife has Covid.

On Friday, I wasn't 100% but wore a mask while I was around other people. I have some sinus pressure now, but otherwise okay.

Another coworker is flat on his back; the 3rd has some nasal drip (for now).

 

I'm fucking pissed at the first guy because he's so cavalier about coming in to the office sick. It's not the first time he's come in sick and I've had to tell him to GTFO either.

[Fudbelty 2784]

Oreo's that will not soak up milk and half ass float.  Thus being half ass crunchy.

Wrong thread? “Things that please the ever loving shit out of you” thread is over there. >>>>

[ROFL BOX 6644]

Wrong thread? “Things that please the ever loving shit out of you” thread is over there. >>>>

Soggy Oreos are teh craptacular.

So, yeah.

[Biff Tannen 45421]

2 hours ago, Superhero said:

Our entire department is out sick today...

 

One guy felt really sick last Wednesday, then came back to work on Thursday and Friday. He told me today his wife has Covid.

On Friday, I wasn't 100% but wore a mask while I was around other people. I have some sinus pressure now, but otherwise okay.

Another coworker is flat on his back; the 3rd has some nasal drip (for now).

 

I'm fucking pissed at the first guy because he's so cavalier about coming in to the office sick. It's not the first time he's come in sick and I've had to tell him to GTFO either.

This is like Office Rules 101.  How the fuck is he allowed to stay at work sick?

[ROFL BOX 6644]

This is like Office Rules 101.  How the fuck is he allowed to stay at work sick?

It's the working / professional version of end of elementary school year superlatives: "& The award for "Did Not Miss Even A Single Day Of School" goes to..."

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

1 hour ago, ROFL BOX said:

3 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

This is like Office Rules 101.  How the fuck is he allowed to stay at work sick?

It's the working / professional version of end of elementary school year superlatives: "& The award for "Did Not Miss Even A Single Day Of School" goes to..."

Any adult who prioritizes a certificate of accomplishment over their coworkers' health and safety is a worthless piece of shit that should be shot into the sun. 

[PvilleStang 2823]

8 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Any adult who prioritizes a certificate of accomplishment over their coworkers' health and safety is a worthless piece of shit that should be shot into the sun. 

Then again, you have employers that enforce that 80% work from office requirement, and / or have a limited sick leave, almost forcing you to come in if at all possible.

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

Then again, you have employers that enforce that 80% work from office requirement, and / or have a limited sick leave, almost forcing you to come in if at all possible.

The sun can have them too. 

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

On 12/9/2023 at 11:27 PM, NWBuck said:

Sitting in the media room watching a movie. Lights tuned exactly as they should be. 

Wife comes in, "looking for something" and turns the lights on. Doesn't find it ("why don't you look where it's supposed to be?" /tone). Leaves room, leaves lights on. 

Sigh. Pause movie and turn the lights off. Sit back down and resume film. 

Daughter enters the room, turns lights on. "Oh, I didn't think anyone was in here... Have you seen my (thing wife was looking for)?" 

"Nope. Your mom already looked in here. Have you looked where it's supposed to be?" 

Daughter rolls eyes, leaves room, leaves lights on. 

Sigh. 

 

Ratio of me turning off lights in my house to me turning on lights in my house is easily 10 to 1, on a good day. 

 

[Trey3216 15321]

On 12/16/2023 at 2:06 PM, CoTex said:

Almost got into a scrape today.

Ran out of firewood and having party tonight.  Need firewood but our annual guy ain’t doin it on weekend.

So I drive to a rural area in a sketch neighborhood where I have seen firewood for sale on side of road.  Guy with large pile is splitting logs and has a couple cords.  Inside a chain link fenced lot.

I asked for 40 sticks.  He says “$30 - you load it.”

I back truck in and start loading with my 11 year old son.  We get loaded, say thanks and are pulling out of lot.  Truck races up and blocks me in.  Large black man wearing a bunch of fake brand polo shit and gold gets out and starts cussing and screaming.  I mean this guy is at level 9 and going berserk.  Gimme my money mother fucker and this and that.

I figure out quickly that splitter guy ain’t the boss and boss ain’t happy with whatever deal I’ve cut.

Guy looks in bed of truck “you owe me $150.”  

Now I’ve got a couple of problems.  I’ve got $90 in my wallet - I don’t have $150.  11 year old feels very threatened - is crying.  Truck blocked in.  .40 in the center console of the truck - unloaded no ammo.

”calm down man - we can sort this out.”  Guy won’t calm down - irrational, freaking out.  Splitter guy walks away.  Zero help at all.

I said “I got $90, you can have it and the $30 I paid him and I’m leaving.”  
 

More “fuck you, gimme my money.”

I calmly repeated it about 3 more times before he took the $90 and moved his truck. It seriously crossed my mind that we were going to get shot or at least fist fight right there in front of my son.  Shitty deal.

now I’m surly and contemplating ways to take revenge and get my $90 back.

 

Some diesel fuel and a match would take care of it.   

[YGIFS 19447]

49 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Ratio of me turning off lights in my house to me turning on lights in my house is easily 10 to 1, on a good day. 

 

I think it was on Shaggy that posted most of his year with two young ones was spent picking up Legos and turning off lights/lamps.  My oldest was just an infant at the time, and I never thought about it until she was about 4 and got really into Legos and would constantly leave on lights and drop lego parts all over.  Then we had her little sister.  And flash forward, lotsa little toys hurting my feet and lights left on again.  But they both got pretty good about picking up Legos and turning off lights.  Not great, but better than most kids their age.  

But now?  A new enemy has emerged.  The open cabinet.  What in the ever living fuck, people?  I just walk around my house of 17 years with muscle memory.  I know how tall I am and where my eyes and balls are.  I am just, on the daily, running into open fucking cabinets all damn day.  Bathrooms, drawers, furniture cabinets, laundry room, and of course the kitchen.  They look for something, and find it, and I'm proud of them for not shouting for help.  Flash forward 10 minutes later, Dad clips his fucking head one of them or my groin or a toe.  What in the fuck?  It's like that scene in "The Sixth Sense" when the parent comes back into the kitchen and all the cupboards are halfway open.  But my girls have no superpowers to see dead people, they just see an injured, saddened, slightly teary-eyed Dad.  

[ROFL BOX 6644]

My wife is constantly on me or the kids about "Why is the light still on for the [porch / kitchen]?" bit my daughter consistently leaves the floor / oscillating fan on in her room & wife doesn't G.a.S.

1. The light bulbs have all been swapped over to LED & prob. cost less than $ 1.50 per year to operate.
2. Wife & daughter are convinced that if you have a fan running (even while you are not there in the house) that it lowers the overall temperature of the building.

:facepalm:

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

 

1 hour ago, ROFL BOX said:

My wife is constantly on me or the kids about "Why is the light still on for the [porch / kitchen]?" bit my daughter consistently leaves the floor / oscillating fan on in her room & wife doesn't G.a.S.

1. The light bulbs have all been swapped over to LED & prob. cost less than $ 1.50 per year to operate.
2. Wife & daughter are convinced that if you have a fan running (even while you are not there in the house) that it lowers the overall temperature of the building.

:facepalm:


 

 

regarding point #1- its not about the money. 

 

[52-80 19041]

16 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

My wife is constantly on me or the kids about "Why is the light still on for the [porch / kitchen]?" bit my daughter consistently leaves the floor / oscillating fan on in her room & wife doesn't G.a.S.

1. The light bulbs have all been swapped over to LED & prob. cost less than $ 1.50 per year to operate.
2. Wife & daughter are convinced that if you have a fan running (even while you are not there in the house) that it lowers the overall temperature of the building.

:facepalm:
 

1. Their species is invincible against mathematics

2. My wife thinks if I shut off the house heating/cooling for 1 month, it will cost more to bring it back to regular temp, than keeping it at that temp for 30 days with the house empty...

[GoPokes83 2236]

2. My wife thinks if I shut off the house heating/cooling for 1 month, it will cost more to bring it back to regular temp, than keeping it at that temp for 30 days with the house empty...

Of course it won’t, but mold/mildew in the summer in a non A/C house without ventilation can be a real issue.

[SHOOTER12 8775]

On 12/16/2023 at 5:06 PM, Vic Mackey said:

Glad you are ok. Were they pulling some sort of shakedown racket? Sounds sketchy as hell. Let someone load up for cheap. Angry, big black man and threatens the customer, hoping they come off anything they have just so they can leave un harmed.

They are going to run into the wrong person one day with nothing to lose or just doesn't fuck around with someone like that, and it can end badly for those people selling the firewood.

Set up was my first thought.

[elfenix 34157]

when autocorrect changes "its" to "it's" and then has the gall to put a squiggly line underneath because "its" is the correct word.

[Armybrat 40635]

On 12/16/2023 at 2:06 PM, CoTex said:

Almost got into a scrape today.

Ran out of firewood and having party tonight.  Need firewood but our annual guy ain’t doin it on weekend.

So I drive to a rural area in a sketch neighborhood where I have seen firewood for sale on side of road.  Guy with large pile is splitting logs and has a couple cords.  Inside a chain link fenced lot.

I asked for 40 sticks.  He says “$30 - you load it.”

I back truck in and start loading with my 11 year old son.  We get loaded, say thanks and are pulling out of lot.  Truck races up and blocks me in.  Large black man wearing a bunch of fake brand polo shit and gold gets out and starts cussing and screaming.  I mean this guy is at level 9 and going berserk.  Gimme my money mother fucker and this and that.

I figure out quickly that splitter guy ain’t the boss and boss ain’t happy with whatever deal I’ve cut.

Guy looks in bed of truck “you owe me $150.”  

Now I’ve got a couple of problems.  I’ve got $90 in my wallet - I don’t have $150.  11 year old feels very threatened - is crying.  Truck blocked in.  .40 in the center console of the truck  unloaded no ammo.

”calm down man - we can sort this out.”  Guy won’t calm down - irrational, freaking out.  Splitter guy walks away.  Zero help at all.

I said “I got $90, you can have it and the $30 I paid him and I’m leaving.”  
 

More “fuck you, gimme my money.”

I calmly repeated it about 3 more times before he took the $90 and moved his truck. It seriously crossed my mind that we were going to get shot or at least fist fight right there in front of my son.  Shitty deal.

now I’m surly and contemplating ways to take revenge and get my $90 back.

 

Quote

40 in the center console of the truck - unloaded no ammo.

WTF?