Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Felix 607]

The only time I dared drive while I was in Korea was in my tank. 

[shakahorn 1645]

11 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

This also applies to Miami.

And Los Angeles.

[nnm 36576]

57 minutes ago, Felix said:

The only time I dared drive while I was in Korea was in my tank. 

Cross-posted from the HS thread because it’s applicable for this reply:

 

[gofuckyourself 8376]

12 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Try driving in Mexico, it will make NO seem like heaven.

One of the most white knuckle, shart inducing rides of my life was from the airport to Punta Sam.

The acceptable levels of aggression, lane changing and driving the wrong way in the wrong lane is astounding.

And it's all done without hostility or angry gestures at other drivers. It's just the way it's done.

[Prepuce of Doom 21102]

15 minutes ago, shakahorn said:

And Los Angeles.

I've lived in both cities, and while LA is a lot more geographically spread out such that there are some areas that are better than others in this respect, I think that overall, LA drivers get an undeserved reputation for being bad. They are impatient and expect you to have your shit together, but they will allow you to merge or change lanes in circumstances when a Miami driver would deliberately squeeze you out. 

I am a very fast and aggressive driver, and I fucking loved driving on the freeways in Miami. If you're an apex predator, you can drive with near impunity. Miami surface streets are Thunderdome though. 

Edited February 7 by Prepuce of Doom

[NeverMarryAStripper 21920]

I’ve driven in Mexico plenty, and I prefer driving there to driving in Houston

[Felix 607]

1 hour ago, nnm said:

Cross-posted from the HS thread because it’s applicable for this reply:

 

Saw almost this exact thing happen in Korea.  We were road marching through a small town and down a steep, winding street to a river bypass (couldn't use the bridge due to weight limit) and my buddy was driving 50 meters or so in front of me. Transmission, which functions as the brakes on a tank, got too hot and decided it didn't want to engage, so he slewed around a curve on this narrow village street and rolled right over a Hyundai parked on the side of the road.  Only got it with the right track but didn't slow him down at all.  Eventually he was able to turn on a side street going back up the hill to stop.  That guy got a new car on Uncle Sam.  Luckily he wasn't in it.

Talking about lunatic drivers.  We were on your way to a training area and not 2 miles out of the gate at Camp Casey and the road narrowed from 3 lanes to 2.  Company of 14 tanks with support vehicles tooling along at 20 mph with lunatic civilian drivers all trying to get past us before the right lane ended.  Last guy cut it a little too close and got the drivers side of his car into the track.  Track peeled it open like a sardine can and pulled the driver into the sprocket.  Cut him in half before the TC could tell the driver to stop the tank.  Ugly scene.  I didn't see it happen just the aftermath.  Never knew a human body had so much blood before that.  The thing that still sticks in my mind 30 years later is waiting for the police to show up and other Koreans are running over and grabbing loose money from the blood pool and running off.  I guess he had some cash in his pockets.

[Jameslaw121 4448]

The fact that the Super Bowl and College NC Game are on work nights.

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 2/5/2024 at 8:18 AM, YGIFS said:

I read recently that the United States crossed a threshold recently.  We now use the majority (50% + 1) of all tennis balls for things other than tennis.  Mainly for dog play and to put on the back legs of medically issued walkers.  Which is weird to me that we can't figure out how to get hospital tables and hospital walkers to work without fucking sporting equipment.  You'd think we'd have jumped on that innovation opportunity decades ago.  But nope, the fucking tables don't move right and we still buy tennis balls for our aging parent's walkers.  

I actually walked into a bank branch again the other day just  to see what it was like in there now and to cash some class-action check my wife got from Apple.  I had the deposit slip all filled out from the wife and I was gonna grab a $10 bill to have some baller walking around money on me.  I was the only human customer inside the branch.  And it took her probably a solid 7 minutes to complete the transaction.  I had to use my debit card and PIN (which I can never remember).  Show my ID to prove that I was JTWROS on my wife's account (we've been banking there for 20 fucking years).  And then she had to get a manager with a key to open up the fucking cash drawer.  For a $92 deposit and $10 cash back........7 minutes.  In a $35/ft NNN building with 6 employees earning on average $75,000/year.  Obviously I'll use the ATM auto deposit or the app next time, but I hadn't been inside this particular branch in a long while.  I was just stunned.  I mean good for her for making a nice living doing absolutely nothing, but it gets passed down to me eventually in higher fees on my HELOC.  What in the fuck are we still doing opening up urban bank branches?  

 

This is all by design so you will just use the auto deposit and eventually the bank will not have to employ tellers. They are just trying to speed that along. 

 

 

[52-80 19231]

Texas is the worst driving in the US in my experience.

Although after having a taxi driver in Belgrade take my coworker and I in the wrong direction on a highway ramp... I'll not complain about Texas drivers for a while.

[YGIFS 19452]

2 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

This is all by design so you will just use the auto deposit and eventually the bank will not have to employ tellers. They are just trying to speed that along. 

 

 

I totally agree, but the big question remains---what the fuck do they do with all their real estate?  Banks are notorious for absolutely prime spots.  And the majority of their spaces can't be flipped into a different usage model that easily without a fuckton of TI/investments.  

[956 Worldwide 34747]

22 hours ago, nnm said:

I’ve driven on 5 continents, in some of the lowest-developed countries in the world. They all have bad traffic, and all have bad manners in traffic. In most of those countries, signs and limits are purely decoration. 
But once you get used to the informal rules of the road in any of those countries, they’re fairly predictable and you can be reasonably safe. 

IMHO, the problem in Houston (lived there for 20 years) is that people from all those countries, plus ignorant Americans, are thrown together with no common understanding of what the informal rules are. They all try to use the informal rules from wherever they came from, but all of those informal rules are different. You have no idea if the guy approaching from a cross street is going to respect the sign or traffic signal. You have no idea what the expectations are for merging. It’s a complete crapshow. 

I’ve driven in Central and South Asia and I can say that you cannot be reasonably safe there. 
 

In Uzbekistan many drivers turn off their headlights and night because they believe it saves gas and also a lot of cars have shade-tree conversions to natural gas and they are extremely explodey. 
 

Balkans was mostly fine except Kosovo. Rest of Europe OK. 

[InkaUtexas 26078]

Five continents. Bolivia and Afghanistan were the rough ones.

[HRSchenker 2273]

The worst drivers are the nice ones. They make up laws and rules for themselves which put other people in danger. Hey bitch you're not being nice by flashing your brights at me to go when I have a stop sign and you don't!

[Biff Tannen 45712]

2 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I’ve driven in Central and South Asia and I can say that you cannot be reasonably safe there. 

Sri Lanka has like four stop lights total and stop signs are just a wink and a nod.

[Superhero 8834]

To add to traffic talk.

Driving in LA in the rain and dark is an absolute shit show. The freeway striping is faint, and the reflective markers are almost non-existent. I’m surprised there haven’t been more accidents with the amount of rain we’ve gotten the past 4 days. 

[InkaUtexas 26078]

3 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Sri Lanka has like four stop lights total and stop signs are just a wink and a nod.

Ever try a roundabout in Dubai's ring road? Those trucks give zero fucks.

[52-80 19231]

I mostly like eggs but quiches might be top 3 worst foods in the world. 
 

Its the main dish at the work cafeteria today. 

[Native Horn 3512]

11 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

In Uzbekistan many drivers turn off their headlights and night because they believe it saves gas and also a lot of cars have shade-tree conversions to natural gas and they are extremely explodey. 

I chortled.

[Steamboat1874 4083]

5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

I mostly like eggs but quiches might be top 3 worst foods in the world. 
 

Its the main dish at the work cafeteria today. 

Oh man.... a spinach and cheese with bacon quiche is awesome.

[PvilleStang 2919]

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

[deadshank 24653]

Down in Houston Med Center awaiting mi esposa to get out of surgery.  
 

This high-toned nasally, slack-jawed, twitchy foot, jorts-wearing, loud-talking dipshit is about to put me over the edge.  Plus he’s arguing with his fat sister that has her pie hole stuffed full of food and she’s jawing back at him sounding like she’s got a tube sock stuffed in her mouth.  
 

His other brother Darrel done gonoffa get sumpna ate.  
 

Jeez. 

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

i'm about to fuckin turn around and hit you

[deadshank 24653]

1 minute ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

i'm about to fuckin turn around and hit you

Bring it, shitbird. 
 

You’ll need to get the food out of your mouth and get around your stupid brother. 

Edited February 8 by deadshank

[deadshank 24653]

Now fat sister is watching Larry the Cable Guy YouTube videos with her smart phone speaker volume up.  
 

Inconsiderate morons.   

[Superhero 8834]

5 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

In Irvine, there are 2 MacArthur & Main intersections within a mile of each other...

 

[nnm 36576]

10 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

That picture is the same image of I35, anytime day or night, on most stretches all the way from San Antonio to DFW.

[elfenix 34331]

On 2/7/2024 at 7:34 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

I’ve driven in Central and South Asia and I can say that you cannot be reasonably safe there. 
 

In Uzbekistan many drivers turn off their headlights and night because they believe it saves gas and also a lot of cars have shade-tree conversions to natural gas and they are extremely explodey. 
 

Balkans was mostly fine except Kosovo. Rest of Europe OK. 

 

[UT_OB1 2224]

11 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

They probably don’t feel like they need to clarify because the answer to your question is “yes” more often than not 

[royiv 9341]

17 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

The sentence "Take Airport to 45th to Mopac" should give you enough clues as to which side of the river she's referring to.

[Horn Draoi 256]

19 hours ago, deadshank said:

Down in Houston Med Center awaiting mi esposa to get out of surgery.  
 

This high-toned nasally, slack-jawed, twitchy foot, jorts-wearing, loud-talking dipshit is about to put me over the edge.  Plus he’s arguing with his fat sister that has her pie hole stuffed full of food and she’s jawing back at him sounding like she’s got a tube sock stuffed in her mouth.  
 

His other brother Darrel done gonoffa get sumpna ate.  
 

Jeez. 

Can you see his ring?

[deadshank 24653]

8 minutes ago, Horn Draoi said:

Can you see his ring?

No.  He was 3 knuckles deep in his nose. 

[nnm 36576]

3 hours ago, Horn Draoi said:

Can you see his ring?

His TAMU ring or his hope solo ring? Two different types of rings. Or maybe they’re the same now that I think about it. 

[Brothahorn 10087]

Had a package coming from UPS that I had to sign for. Checked tracking this morning before I left for work and it said out for delivery. Will be here by 7pm. 
 
Well fuck. Ok, wife is off work so she will be there all day. I get off early and I forgot, so we go out for a happy hour drink.  I remember right when we get our beer so ok, let’s finish this and get back home. Surely he won’t show during this half hour window right?
 
 
WRONG!!!!!!!!!

UPS told me I had a package that was arriving Wednesday that I ordered Sunday. I check the details and see that only a label has been created. Wednesday morning still showing arriving on time. But no additional movement. Thursday morning, it gets updated to Friday delivery. Today, I get a message that the damn thing got missorted to Abilene.

[PvilleStang 2919]

9 hours ago, royiv said:

The sentence "Take Airport to 45th to Mopac" should give you enough clues as to which side of the river she's referring to.

This seems to be a rare occasion where the person included SOME context.  But North I-35 and 290 is MUCH easier to understand.

 

The fun is when they start throwing in the direction of traffic AND section of 35: Southbound North I-35.

[Superhero 8834]

Audio books that don’t have digital bookmarks.

I’m listening to Stephen King’s Insomnia. I am on minute 836 with another 703 minutes to go.

Most audio books will let you navigate to particular chapters. Some are just moronic. 

[Macanudo 13009]

Semi trucks passing other trucks in the left lane but barely going faster than the other truck.   Fuck those assholes.

[nnm 36576]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Semi trucks passing other trucks in the left lane but barely going faster than the other truck.   Fuck those assholes.

Speed governors. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21920]

Governors with wheels always fuck things up

[YGIFS 19452]

Well; maybe not always, but certainly with regard to transportation. 
 

the ‘no trucks in left lane’ rule in 3+ lane highways is just inconsistently enforced all over Texas is the main bug. Another problem is the next automobile driver to adhere to the ‘left lane for passing only’ sign will be the first.  

few years back, a part of our trucking fleet participated in a federal DoT/TXDoT test for electric powered, autonomous semi trucks.  One worked just fine.  Two or three together gets fucked.  Not because of Texas drivers but because a significant portion of on our on/off ramps aren’t setup for it.  Hence all the dipshits you’ll find yourself yelling “just fucking merge” to later this morning.  But, like a lotta things…we just couldn’t possibly have seen this coming way back when. 

[Macanudo 13009]

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Well; maybe not always, but certainly with regard to transportation. 
 

the ‘no trucks in left lane’ rule in 3+ lane highways is just inconsistently enforced all over Texas is the main bug. Another problem is the next automobile driver to adhere to the ‘left lane for passing only’ sign will be the first.  

few years back, a part of our trucking fleet participated in a federal DoT/TXDoT test for electric powered, autonomous semi trucks.  One worked just fine.  Two or three together gets fucked.  Not because of Texas drivers but because a significant portion of on our on/off ramps aren’t setup for it.  Hence all the dipshits you’ll find yourself yelling “just fucking merge” to later this morning.  But, like a lotta things…we just couldn’t possibly have seen this coming way back when. 

Trucks shouldn't be allowed in the left lane at all.  2 lane, 3 lane, 4 lane.   Enough of that shit.   I spent a considerable amount of time on I-10 Saturday between El Paso and Houston driving behind semis in the left lane doing 65-70 in a 80 MPH zone.  

[mininghorn88 2298]

We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

[Scheiss Meister 8411]

9 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

As someone who goes by his middle name I support this message.

[YGIFS 19452]

15% of U.S. males go by something other than their first name.  Usually middle, but also initial acronyms or broadly-accepted nicknames like "Tex" or "Red" or "Junior."  And 10% of women do the same. 

I use my middle name on everything except my Global Entry card and passport because it's just not worth the hassle and risk of getting some kinda no-fly red-flag.  But everything else from my asset titling to marriage certificate is my middle named which I've used exclusively for about 40+ years.  And to this day, it just baffles adults.  "No, what's your real name?"  Uh, it's the name I just gave you.  And it's real.  And so am I.  It's this conversation that is a fucking mystery to me.  I mean yeah, changing your last name on the fly is shady as fuck and I've gone by aliases like "Icy Hot Stunta" and "Frank Stallone", but if it's part of my birth certificate, it's my fucking real name.  

Edited February 12 by YGIFS

[nnm 36576]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

15% of U.S. males go by something other than their first name.  Usually middle, but also initial acronyms or broadly-accepted nicknames like "Tex" or "Red" or "Junior."  And 10% of women do the same. 

I use my middle name on everything except my Global Entry card and passport because it's just not worth the hassle and risk of getting some kinda no-fly red-flag.  But everything else from my asset titling to marriage certificate is my middle named which I've used exclusively for about 40+ years.  And to this day, it just baffles adults.  "No, what's your real name?"  Uh, it's the name I just gave you.  And it's real.  And so am I.  It's this conversation that is a fucking mystery to me.  I mean yeah, changing your last name on the fly is shady as fuck and I've gone by aliases like "Icy Hot Stunta" and "Frank Stallone", but if it's part of my birth certificate, it's my fucking real name.  

OK Joey Freshwater. Or, as Sir Paul McCartney was known, Paul Ramon. 
 

[Superhero 8834]

Rocket Mortgage running ads telling people to take home-equity loans to cover everyday expenses (grocery costs going up).

The US does not need any more debt. If you can't afford groceries, then it's time to put the smoked salmon and ribeye back on the refrigerated section, buy store brands, eat chicken, rice and beans.

[Tex Long 4434]

3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

15% of U.S. males go by something other than their first name.  Usually middle, but also initial acronyms or broadly-accepted nicknames like "Tex" or "Red" or "Junior."  And 10% of women do the same. 

I use my middle name on everything except my Global Entry card and passport because it's just not worth the hassle and risk of getting some kinda no-fly red-flag.  But everything else from my asset titling to marriage certificate is my middle named which I've used exclusively for about 40+ years.  And to this day, it just baffles adults.  "No, what's your real name?"  Uh, it's the name I just gave you.  And it's real.  And so am I.  It's this conversation that is a fucking mystery to me.  I mean yeah, changing your last name on the fly is shady as fuck and I've gone by aliases like "Icy Hot Stunta" and "Frank Stallone", but if it's part of my birth certificate, it's my fucking real name.  

 

When a credit card receipt needs my signature, I scrawl "Richard M. Nixon". When I started, it took probably ten years before anyone noticed - or at least, said something about it. Went kinda like:

"Sir, you signed Richard Nixon here."

"Yes, yes I did."

"You need to write your name, sir."

"No, I need to write my signature. That's my signature."

"Sir, that's Nixon's signature."

"Actually, Nixon is dead. He doesn't have a signature anymore, so it's mine, now."

"Uhhh ..."

 

 

[YGIFS 19452]

That's awesome.  You still go by Milhouse, right?  

I used to sign my name as my first initial, then my middle name which is my name 99% of the time IRL, and then last name obviously.  But after enough identity thefts, I now on a screenpad or even printed receipt, just scribble a few circles.  Finally got old enough to realize my actual signature was easy to duplicate, but drunken ovals indicating the score of the Cleveland-San Antonio score is actually hard to replicate because replicating bizarre squiggles is easier to pick up on than letters.  We're all still vulnerable to identity theft by my 30 year genuine signature was super easy to copy in hindsight.  

Then again, speaking of things that make us surly.  I still have to once a year clear my credit report of this incident at a Best Buy like 15 years ago.  Obviously the in-house credit card guy was in on it.  So they swipe my info online and print out fake shit and open a store credit or whatever the fuck they call it in Baltimore.  Now, a modicum of analysis by the bureaus would be, "Hey Lobo has never bought anything in Baltimore in his life, maybe we should look into this."  But I get there's probably ways around that for the thieves.  But the dude buys a 60" flat screen TV for like $2,000.  So I gotta go through Sheriffs office there, plus the store, plus the 3 bureaus.  And my story is the same, "I haven't been to Maryland in decades and haven't ever been to Baltimore.  You have my zip code, my residence history, etc."  And literally in the middle of the one of the criminal reports, the guy also bought some plane tickets.  So Best Buy's fraud chief tells me, "Well, we just assumed you took the TV home with you to Texas."  You know that thing you do all the time where you try and shimmy a 60" TV into the overhead bin?  And sure as shit, once a year, I gotta re-clear it off my report because it never got fully paid for.  

I was ahead of my time though, because now you can trade flat-screen TV's for a fist-fight in Row 9 on Spirit airlines.  

[Guadaloopy 11012]

When the fuck did people stop enunciating the letter "T" in their speech.

I want to go Loudermilk on these people about a half dozen times a day. 

Motherfucker, it's pronounced "but-ton", not "buh-un".

[Guadaloopy 11012]

On 2/12/2024 at 9:44 AM, Macanudo said:

Trucks shouldn't be allowed in the left lane at all.  2 lane, 3 lane, 4 lane.   Enough of that shit.   I spent a considerable amount of time on I-10 Saturday between El Paso and Houston driving behind semis in the left lane doing 65-70 in a 80 MPH zone.  

The one that has been getting me lately is semis getting over into the left lane with little or no notice because there is a vehicle stopped ahead on the right shoulder, even if the vehicle is well clear of the road.  I can't tell you how many times I've had to jam on the brakes to avoid getting smashed when a truck does this.  Yes, I understand that they do it for "safety" reasons, but it pretty much defeats the purpose of a safety measure when you create another unsafe situation by doing it.