Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Macanudo 13,012]

54 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

This has probably already been discussed in this thread. And it may not be trivial. It may be more important than the potential for nuclear war. It is the use of the word “like” littered throughout the spoken word.

Kids, particularly girls, sound like immature little humans. Adults using the world “like” as a space filler sound like sub-100 IQ individuals. 

The use of the word “like” as a space filler will destroy the world. 

That's, like, you're opinion, man.

[nnm 36,632]

1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

This has probably already been discussed in this thread. And it may not be trivial. It may be more important than the potential for nuclear war. It is the use of the word “like” littered throughout the spoken word.

Kids, particularly girls, sound like immature little humans. Adults using the world “like” as a space filler sound like sub-100 IQ individuals. 

The use of the word “like” as a space filler will destroy the world. 

[baboso 6,057]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

That's, like, you're opinion, man.

*your.

[High Plains Drifter 11,052]

 

Somebody at work is not refilling the ice trays in the communal freezer (no icemaker, we live in the stone age). 

I'm about to cut a bitch. 

[MissingInAction 25,183]

Listing the acronyms for every degree/certification in your email sig.

Doctorates in the Physical Sciences and medicine get a pass.

Bro, I don't need to know about the PMO associates you got at ACC.

MBAs? Fuck right off.

[InkaUtexas 26,107]

1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

Listing the acronyms for every degree/certification in your email sig.

Doctorates in the Physical Sciences and medicine get a pass.

Bro, I don't need to know about the PMO associates you got at ACC.

MBAs? Fuck right off.

PMP.

And on your resume. I don't care that you were an Eagle Scout, what college clubs you were in, or your damn hobbies. I want to know you are experienced in the job, not planning on playing pickleball or going hiking with you.

[MissingInAction 25,183]

2 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

PMP.

And on your resume. I don't care that you were an Eagle Scout, what college clubs you were in, or your damn hobbies. I want to know you are experienced in the job, not planning on playing pickleball or going hiking with you.

Exactly what I was going for.

Also all Cisco shit, shit I don't know how many certs I have.  Microsoft A+? Lol

Edited September 28 by MissingInAction

[UT_OB1 2,225]

On 9/25/2024 at 5:55 AM, Dbeasy said:

This has probably already been discussed in this thread. And it may not be trivial. It may be more important than the potential for nuclear war. It is the use of the word “like” littered throughout the spoken word.

Kids, particularly girls, sound like immature little humans. Adults using the world “like” as a space filler sound like sub-100 IQ individuals. 

The use of the word “like” as a space filler will destroy the world. 

For 12 years I’ve been telling my kids not to say like. If they say it I interrupt them and tell them to say it without like. I’m probably causing a speech impediment or need for therapy in the future, but for 12 years I’ve been hoping my wife would take the hint, but she has not. 

[BurntEyes 6,030]

People who slow down NEXT to a semi in heavy rain rather than pass it because "they can't see". At least that's my best guess. Maybe they just like making themselves and the 10 cars behind them blinded by the semi's "waves". 

[InkaUtexas 26,107]

12 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

People who slow down NEXT to a semi in heavy rain rather than pass it because "they can't see". At least that's my best guess. Maybe they just like making themselves and the 10 cars behind them blinded by the semi's "waves". 

User name kind of checks out, and so does your last known location. So heading to Knock ville for the weekend?

[InkaUtexas 26,107]

29 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Exactly what I was going for.

Also all Cisco shit, shit I don't know how many certs I have.  Microsoft A+? Lol

I was damn good at Summer Games on my Commodore 128. Should I list that? Oh, and in college I could roll a joint one handed when driving on a road trip or walking to campus. See, those are skills I want to see listed. I might hire that dude. Glee Club? GTFO A-Aron

 

Edited September 28 by InkaUtexas

[MissingInAction 25,183]

29 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

I was damn good at Summer Games on my Commodore 128. Should I list that? Oh, and in college I could roll a joint one handed when driving on a road trip or walking to campus. See, those are skills I want to see listed. I might hire that dude. Glee Club? GTFO A-Aron

 

You'd be my CEO.

[MissingInAction 25,183]

44 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

People who slow down NEXT to a semi in heavy rain rather than pass it because "they can't see". At least that's my best guess. Maybe they just like making themselves and the 10 cars behind them blinded by the semi's "waves". 

Fucking shit, this.

My b hole puckers whenever I'm 3 ft from a giant truck going 70.

I always blast by them when I can.

[mininghorn88 2,298]

54 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Fucking shit, this.

My b hole puckers whenever I'm 3 ft from a giant truck going 70.

I always blast by them when I can.

I don’t pucker up but I do get around them quickly.

A few years ago I got stuck beside one of them because the vehicle in front of me decided that they were ok to cruise along beside the 18-wheeler after catching them on a hill to only loose the advantage going back downhill. There was a car behind me too that thought we were going to get around the truck quickly. The 18-wheeler threw a tread and took out my right front quarter panel, RH light and my hood on my 1-year old pickup.

[InkaUtexas 26,107]

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

You'd be my CEO.

Where do I sign up and can Sucre come to the office with me? I assume we are working offsite 90% of the time at a beer garden with hotties.

Oh, and also, what do we do?

Edited September 28 by InkaUtexas

[NWBuck 8,586]

3 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

I was damn good at Summer Games on my Commodore 128. Should I list that? Oh, and in college I could roll a joint one handed when driving on a road trip or walking to campus. See, those are skills I want to see listed. I might hire that dude. Glee Club? GTFO A-Aron

[BurntEyes 6,030]

36 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Where do I sign up and can Sucre come to the office with me? I assume we are working offsite 90% of the time at a beer garden with hotties.

Oh, and also, what do we do?

Since when did the actual business model or deliverables actually matter?

Not sure MIA has picked the right CEO, which means you got the job.

[InkaUtexas 26,107]

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Since when did the actual business model or deliverables actually matter?

Not sure MIA has picked the right CEO, which means you got the job.

I was hoping we sold dreams. Like Texags.

[Macanudo 13,012]

7 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

I was hoping we sold dreams. Like Texags.

Well, I'm in. 

[InkaUtexas 26,107]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Well, I'm in. 

Cool, your Surly 10 executive assistant will pick you up Thursday in your new Lambo. The key to the humidor is under the seat. Have her drop you off at the Surly Tailgate next Saturday. Immamac will be your personnel bartender/sea monster.

[MissingInAction 25,183]

11 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Where do I sign up and can Sucre come to the office with me? I assume we are working offsite 90% of the time at a beer garden with hotties.

Oh, and also, what do we do?

That's for our employees to figure out.

[Underdog 28,773]

CNN cutting away from The Chris Wallace Show as he was about to have a story I was interested in just to rehash the shit they talked about at the top of the hour.  Saving grace was more Amara Walker. 

[Superhero 8,842]

People changing lanes on the freeway at full speed.

I drive fast, but am a grandpa when changing lanes because I'm always worried someone will change into the same lane as me. Just to confirm my paranoia, I was merging from the slow lane to the middle lane, when a full size pickup truck came blazing out of the HOV lane, crossed 3 lanes of traffic and out the exit. I had to slam on my brakes and swerve back into the slow lane or else we would have collided.

Maybe 5 minutes later, I was ready to exit the freeway into downtown LA. Let's just say the highway design in DTLA makes I-35 look genius - the 2 right lanes are for cars trying to get onto and off the freeway. Everyone is trying to merge safely, but then this woman cuts into my lane at full speed, then slams on her brakes because there's nowhere for her to go. Again, I had to swerve to avoid another accident

[HRSchenker 2,273]

30 of my Facebook friends have a baby who made it into the top 20 of "baby of the year". Reactivating my account on that platform was such a mistake 

[Brisketexan 105,335]

People changing lanes on the freeway at full speed.
I drive fast, but am a grandpa when changing lanes because I'm always worried someone will change into the same lane as me. Just to confirm my paranoia, I was merging from the slow lane to the middle lane, when a full size pickup truck came blazing out of the HOV lane, crossed 3 lanes of traffic and out the exit. I had to slam on my brakes and swerve back into the slow lane or else we would have collided.
Maybe 5 minutes later, I was ready to exit the freeway into downtown LA. Let's just say the highway design in DTLA makes I-35 look genius - the 2 right lanes are for cars trying to get onto and off the freeway. Everyone is trying to merge safely, but then this woman cuts into my lane at full speed, then slams on her brakes because there's nowhere for her to go. Again, I had to swerve to avoid another accident

You change lanes at the flow of traffic. Not faster, not slower. It’s not hard. LA freeways are no exception to that rule.

[Underdog 28,773]

Don't stop till you hear glass and smell shit. 

[nnm 36,632]

1 minute ago, Underdog said:

Don't stop till you hear glass and smell shit. 

First you say it, then you do it. 

[PvilleStang 2,921]

On 9/27/2024 at 6:57 PM, MissingInAction said:

Exactly what I was going for.

Also all Cisco shit, shit I don't know how many certs I have.  Microsoft A+? Lol

Cisco certs are notable when hiring in IT.  CCIEs actually earned that crap, while MCSEs are mostly worthless hacks that took a test and purged all the knowledge within 24 hours. 

CCNAs are more a dime a dozen, but that at least shows they've had a ramp-up in the OSI model and the basics of networking, which is useful when hiring IT admins.

PMPs, on the other hand, are the new realtors.  They get hired to fill out the TPS reports and get the technical employees coffee.

[nnm 36,632]

22 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Cisco certs are notable when hiring in IT.  CCIEs actually earned that crap, while MCSEs are mostly worthless hacks that took a test and purged all the knowledge within 24 hours. 

CCNAs are more a dime a dozen, but that at least shows they've had a ramp-up in the OSI model and the basics of networking, which is useful when hiring IT admins.

PMPs, on the other hand, are the new realtors.  They get hired to fill out the TPS reports and get the technical employees coffee.

[MissingInAction 25,183]

1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

Cisco certs are notable when hiring in IT.  CCIEs actually earned that crap, while MCSEs are mostly worthless hacks that took a test and purged all the knowledge within 24 hours. 

CCNAs are more a dime a dozen, but that at least shows they've had a ramp-up in the OSI model and the basics of networking, which is useful when hiring IT admins.

PMPs, on the other hand, are the new realtors.  They get hired to fill out the TPS reports and get the technical employees coffee.

[BrazilHorn 6,633]

If you put “MBA” after your name on LinkedIn you are 100% of the time a dipshit. 
 

You also either got your MBA from a for profit University or a directional one or aggy. 

[nnm 36,632]

8 minutes ago, BrazilHorn said:

If you put “MBA” after your name on LinkedIn you are 100% of the time a dipshit. 
 

You also either got your MBA from a for profit University or a directional one or aggy. 

https://mays.tamu.edu/graduate/mba/executive-mba/

[MissingInAction 25,183]

"In business"

Edited September 30 by MissingInAction

[Tex Long 4,445]

On 9/28/2024 at 12:22 AM, InkaUtexas said:

I was hoping we sold dreams. Like Texags.

And Stevie:

Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams of loneliness like a heartbeat drives you mad, in the stillness of remembering what you had, and what you lost, and what you had... oh, what you lost.

[Superhero 8,842]

How is the person who shipped this box still employed?

[ztejas 43,537]

On 9/28/2024 at 10:00 AM, Underdog said:

CNN cutting away from The Chris Wallace Show as he was about to have a story I was interested in just to rehash the shit they talked about at the top of the hour.  Saving grace was more Amara Walker. 

Dude are you like a billion years old. 

[Underdog 28,773]

Yes. 

[Superhero 8,842]

12 hours ago, Superhero said:

How is the person who shipped this box still employed?

 

BTW, this was a REPLACEMENT because the contents of the first box were damaged.

I chatted with someone on Amazon and they said to dump everything and they'll credit my account. No need to send back.

[Hornius Emeritus 12,488]

David Schwimmer.  Irrationally, he pisses me off in everything I've ever seen him in. Friends, Band of Brothers etc ... 
 

[Rudiger 1,169]

At the airport, and someone is sitting on the table right next to the “do not sit on the table” sign. 

[Armybrat 40,910]

On 9/27/2024 at 8:59 PM, mininghorn88 said:

I don’t pucker up but I do get around them quickly.

A few years ago I got stuck beside one of them because the vehicle in front of me decided that they were ok to cruise along beside the 18-wheeler after catching them on a hill to only loose the advantage going back downhill. There was a car behind me too that thought we were going to get around the truck quickly. The 18-wheeler threw a tread and took out my right front quarter panel, RH light and my hood on my 1-year old pickup.

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:

 

[Superhero 8,842]

Office manager last week: "BTW you're leading the inclusions and diversity events this month, you should have gotten some emails already."

Me: "Wait a minute. What? What emails?"

 

HR coordinate today: "So how's it going on the D&I stuff. Did you get the emails?"

Me: "What emails?"

HR coordinator: "Lady in Seattle was supposed to send you emails. Here, I'll forward you the emails and link to materials."

 

[closetohumping 17,470]

[closetohumping 17,470]

White dudes with cutesy ethnic names. Looking at you Tres, Quattro and Cinco. 

[mininghorn88 2,298]

5 hours ago, closetohumping said:

White dudes with cutesy ethnic names. Looking at you Tres, Quattro and Cinco. 

Quattro. This reminds me of a story from the mid-80s.

A buddy of mine hired some day laborers to dig a trench in his back yard. Being that it was summer I was home from college. I rode with him in the morning to the location where all of the laborers would gather for any potential work that day. We pull up and ask for help to dig a ditch. This one dude steps up and says, “Quattro”. My buddy says “Yes, Quattro grab two of your friends and let’s go”. At the end of the day my buddy hands out the cash for payment. Quattro looks at the money and says, “Quattro”. My buddy says “Yes Quattro, that is it”. Again Quattro says “Quattro”. My buddy, sensing a problem, says “Quattro, you have been paid. What is the deal?”. Again Quattro says “Quattro”. I finally realize what is going on and I tell my buddy, “You dumbass. His name is not Quattro. He wants $4 per hour and you only paid them $3 per hour.” My buddy, “So his name is not Quattro?”  I reply “No. Pay these guys another dollar per hour.”

[nnm 36,632]

*Quatro

[Kennythetiger 9,460]

On 10/6/2024 at 3:08 PM, Rudiger said:

At the airport, and someone is sitting on the table right next to the “do not sit on the table” sign. 

Why would they make a table that looks like a bench?  I’m on the hot chick’s side. 

[Kennythetiger 9,460]

On 9/29/2024 at 9:20 AM, Brisketexan said:

It’s not hard. LA freeways are no exception to that rule.

Just get off of them without getting killed or caught. 

[shakahorn 1,645]

4 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Why would they make a table that looks like a bench?  I’m on the hot chick’s side. 

I think it's a bad camera angle. It's more of a standing desk, the work surface is probably 3.5' to 4' high.  See those in many airports nowadays.

[Underdog 28,773]

She’s just being a cunt.