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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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I bought two cans of Hill Country Fair canned pumpkin at H‑E‑B because the dogs had upset stomachs.  The cans had such a high ridge on them that my electric can opener wouldn’t work on them.  I tried my old time manual can opener and it wouldn’t open them either.  I used a hammer and chisel to open one because I really needed to give my dogs some. I just threw the other can away.  Fuck that.

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On 1/6/2025 at 7:32 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I bought two cans of Hill Country Fair canned pumpkin at H‑E‑B because the dogs had upset stomachs.  The cans had such a high ridge on them that my electric can opener wouldn’t work on them.  I tried my old time manual can opener and it wouldn’t open them either.  I used a hammer and chisel to open one because I really needed to give my dogs some. I just threw the other can away.  Fuck that.

 

Swiss-Can-Opener-e1615691911301.jpg

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On 12/31/2024 at 12:48 PM, WithoutAClue said:

napkindispenser.jpg

They work fine, if the moron who loads the napkins puts in 20 of them, like the boss told him or her, instead of cramming 113 into it, which results in that 50 or nothing. 

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1 minute ago, Tex Long said:

They work fine, if the moron who loads the napkins puts in 20 of them, like the boss told him or her, instead of cramming 113 into it, which results in that 50 or nothing. 

I don’t believe you. Those napkins are so thin and flimsy that I’m pretty sure the pressure of the spring alone will cause a napkin to tear when you pull it out even if only one of them is loaded in the dispenser.

And as long as we’re on the subject, how do they manage to load the pepper shaker so full that you can’t shake any pepper out of it? And then, when you unscrew the lid of the shaker in order to unpack it, ground pepper bursts out and falls all over the table because they’ve somehow managed to pack twice the volume of pepper into the vessel than it was designed to hold. How does that happen?

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Meanwhile, back at trivial things that make you surly...

Posters who are already in the running for Bad Opinions Nobility but will also defend shitty opinions with repetitive responses, to the point of making threads unreadable, even when reasonably astute, even somewhat courteous, Surly folks point out the abject stupidity of their statements.

I have been guilty of this on multiple occasions, but not multiple times per day on a daily basis, day after day after day.

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3 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I paid $6 and change for 18 last night. 

Apparently California is especially hard hit by the avian flu. 20 million chickens were culled. Not sure how many of those are egg laying hens.

 

I didn't actually buy the $20 eggs. They also had 12-packs of organic eggs for $7, which is weird. At least this particular grocery store had eggs. My regular grocery  store (Sprouts) hasn't had eggs in 2 weeks.

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36 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Apparently California is especially hard hit by the avian flu. 20 million chickens were culled. Not sure how many of those are egg laying hens.

 

I didn't actually buy the $20 eggs. They also had 12-packs of organic eggs for $7, which is weird. At least this particular grocery store had eggs. My regular grocery  store (Sprouts) hasn't had eggs in 2 weeks.

Just wait a few years 

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4 hours ago, Superhero said:

People who don't know when to use an apostrophe. This has been make me REALLY surly lately.

It's not the 1990's. Not RFI's. Not RFP's.

Not Zen's (from the Post a pic/gif/tweet that makes you say "very cool"  thread)

You’re wrong. It’s acceptable to use an apostrophe to make a plural out of alphanumeric expressions that aren’t words. It is the 1990’s. I’ve probably seen it used to refer to decades of music more than anything. Like the greatest hits of the 50’s, 60’s, or 70’s.

Or 80’s.

IMG_7127.thumb.jpeg.dc5a598fb36e774162a95faa7c76d3e9.jpeg

That’s the only example I own. It’s pretty decent as greatest hits CD’s go.

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8 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

There’s a pretty good little Chinese restaurant that I’ve been ordering delivery from since I moved into this house in 2015.  I tried to make an order this week and was told that I wasn’t in their delivery area.

Well, if they deliver to you, then what?  85th street, Wall Street, Mexico, 84th street?

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It has lessened of late, but the still used: "Tell me you don't _________ without telling me you don't __________"

What seems to be popping up now like it's 20 years ago: "Imagine staning for _______________"

Incredibly over used: "(any combination for 2-3 words) would be a great band name"

 

 

Over/under 5 posts before "You know, 'Incredibly Over Used' would be a great band name" post

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1 minute ago, gernblansten said:

It has lessened of late, but the still used: "Tell me you don't _________ without telling me you don't __________"

What seems to be popping up now like it's 20 years ago: "Imagine staning for _______________"

Incredibly over used: "(any combination for 2-3 words) would be a great band name"

 

 

Over/under 5 posts before "You know, 'Incredibly Over Used' would be a great band name" post

Staning?

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6 minutes ago, nnm said:

Staning?

Urban Dictionary:

The act of obsessing over a particular person or product at shamefully high levels. Deprived from the oh so popular song Stan by Eminem. In which a fan, named Stan, is obsessed with Eminem at a dangerously high level.

An example: "Imagine staning for racist pedophile piece of shit." Or, just insert any "public figure I don't like".

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My MIL has everything she orders online delivered to my house.  

She does this because about 20 years ago, she and my FIL moved to an acreage about 10 miles outside of the town where my wife grew up.  This acreage's address was in a different ZIP code for a neighboring town.  My in-laws both worked in the town where my wife grew up, so they kept a PO Box there as their chief mailing address.  My MIL is convinced that the fact she has a PO Box in New Podunk, IA but has a street address in South Podunk, IA will confuse any parcel services and lead to undelivered packages.  While she was still working, she had all her packages delivered to her office (which is in the town where they have the PO Box).

Rather than just change their address completely to the place they've lived since 2006, she started having packages delivered to our house.  My wife works in her hometown, so every day my MIL drives into town (a 20 mile round trip) to get packages out of my wife's car.  One time we were out of town in the dead of winter and she ordered something that could freeze and be damaged.  I had to call a buddy to stop by my house and drag it into a warm space.

All because she's convinced that if she orders packages to the place she actually lives and has actually lived for nearly 20 years they won't arrive.

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2 hours ago, gernblansten said:

Urban Dictionary:

The act of obsessing over a particular person or product at shamefully high levels. Deprived from the oh so popular song Stan by Eminem. In which a fan, named Stan, is obsessed with Eminem at a dangerously high level.

An example: "Imagine staning for racist pedophile piece of shit." Or, just insert any "public figure I don't like".

walter-lebowski-i-did-not-know-that.gif

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7 hours ago, nnm said:

Staning?

 

6 hours ago, gernblansten said:

Urban Dictionary:

The act of obsessing over a particular person or product at shamefully high levels. Deprived from the oh so popular song Stan by Eminem. In which a fan, named Stan, is obsessed with Eminem at a dangerously high level.

An example: "Imagine staning for racist pedophile piece of shit." Or, just insert any "public figure I don't like".

*stanning

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Stupid fucking aircraft livery. Look, I give zero fucks if the airplane is painted like Shamu. A 737 costs about $175K. Seeing more and more of it.

Take off, fly, and land safely. If possible as close to on time as you can.

Screw the paint job and get me another half can of ginger ale and more pretzels god dammit.....

 

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On 1/10/2025 at 1:36 PM, Superhero said:

People who don't know when to use an apostrophe. This has been make me REALLY surly lately.

It's not the 1990's. Not RFI's. Not RFP's.

Not Zen's (from the Post a pic/gif/tweet that makes you say "very cool"  thread)

Dumbasses who keep saying we have to write the RFP. No shit for brains. You are writing a proposal in response to the RFP. Usually hear it from non-Business Development execs or engineers.

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26 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Stupid fucking aircraft livery. Look, I give zero fucks if the airplane is painted like Shamu. A 737 costs about $175K. Seeing more and more of it.

Take off, fly, and land safely. If possible as close to on time as you can.

Screw the paint job and get me another half can of ginger ale and more pretzels god dammit.....

 

Bring back the gd peanuts 

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4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

fucking hotdog buns that are sliced down the middle, they separate in 2 pieces as soon as you even look at them. 

can someone not make a bun that just carves out the middle for the hotdog? turn the scraps into croutons or whatever.

I believe you’re looking for a pig in a blanket, or as they’re called in central Texas, a kolache. 

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8 hours ago, elfenix said:

YouTube: 3 minutes of ads, 2 minutes of video, 1 minute of ads, 2.5 minutes of video brought to you by today's sponsor, 3 minutes of ads, 1 minute of video, 4 minutes of ads

FIL sent the family a video from someone's podcast.  It was a bunch of ads, the actual video, then stopping the interview to do a live-read during the video from a sponsor, and 5 seconds into the live read, youtube injects their own ads, then back to the live -read.  Wash, rince, repeat every 5 minutes for the hour long video (which stretched it out to an hour and a half).  Insufferable on SO MANY LEVELS!

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8 hours ago, elfenix said:

YouTube: 3 minutes of ads, 2 minutes of video, 1 minute of ads, 2.5 minutes of video brought to you by today's sponsor, 3 minutes of ads, 1 minute of video, 4 minutes of ads

I cannot remember the last time I used Youtube for this exact reason. 

But that's just about every app now - open, scroll, AD, skip ad, scroll, AD, skip ad, scroll, broken ad so you have to close out and re-open, immediately get hit with an ad

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1 minute ago, Crapinon said:

Every damn donut shop in town has a sign that says they sell kolaches. I go in and ask what fruit they have in their kolaches and they always say "we only have sausage". I tell them if I wanted a klobasnek I'd ask for one.  

I've always understood "kolache" to refer exclusively to fruit pastry.

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1 minute ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I've always understood "kolache" to refer exclusively to fruit pastry.

It is. But somehow they bastardized it into a sausage in a blanket, which is a klobasnek. I have and make, my grandmothers 3 rise kolache recipe. I take my kolaches seriously. 

Just now, nnm said:

Uh oh. Now I’ve done it. I’ve re-started the Texas kolache-klobasnek-pigs-in-a-blanket nomenclature debate. CR levels of incivility are about to be unleashed. Sorry. 

Yeah, I'll stop. No need getting my BP up. 

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5 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

It is. But somehow they bastardized it into a sausage in a blanket, which is a klobasnek. I have and make, my grandmothers 3 rise kolache recipe. I take my kolaches seriously. 

Yeah, I'll stop. No need getting my BP up. 

I'm not Czech, but I live in a heavily Czech part of the world and kolaches are 100% serious business.  So many little old Bohemian grandmas making bomb-ass kolaches all the time.

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The late Gen-Z workforce at our office.  Coffee badging became big during the RTO wave in the last year or two, but they've taken it even further.  Badge in at 11:45, order lunch, then take an hour to an hour and a half lunch, then badge out by 3pm.  A solid 3-hour work day where they're spending half of it on lunch.  The biggest offenders are based in Austin while their managers are on the east coast, so they don't see this crap on the daily.

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Okay, I am not that egregious. It's more of a 9:45 to 2:30 lol, but I work before and after my commute.  I work with too many damn women who talk incessantly all day about nothing, at the loudest possible volume. 

But I did learn a bunch of people have been (on their own accord) working their own versions of 9 hour days so they can log off at 12 on Fridays, without permission.  They got busted for that. 

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1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

The late Gen-Z workforce at our office.  Coffee badging became big during the RTO wave in the last year or two, but they've taken it even further.  Badge in at 11:45, order lunch, then take an hour to an hour and a half lunch, then badge out by 3pm.  A solid 3-hour work day where they're spending half of it on lunch.  The biggest offenders are based in Austin while their managers are on the east coast, so they don't see this crap on the daily.

Okay Boomer.

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On 1/15/2025 at 9:19 AM, gernblansten said:

It has lessened of late, but the still used: "Tell me you don't _________ without telling me you don't __________"

What seems to be popping up now like it's 20 years ago: "Imagine staning for _______________"

Incredibly over used: "(any combination for 2-3 words) would be a great band name"

 

 

Over/under 5 posts before "You know, 'Incredibly Over Used' would be a great band name" post

Combination For Two is not all that bad as a band name, but I like it a lot better as a song title.

Mileage may vary in your immediate cosmic vicinity.

 

 

 

 

 

Ooohhh, wait! Cosmic Vicinity has some possibilities...

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