Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

4 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

And while I'm on the rant, you fags sending your shit from a phone, if you can't compose a proper business email then get your ass to a legit computer. Fuck you too and Merry Christmas.

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

When you open your package of Captain's Wafer Honey and Peanut Butter crackers and find that someone in the manufacturing department has forgotten to affix the bottom wafer to half of the package. 

[El Diablo 4,232]

8 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

 

That's me. I need to call @immortal13 and have him come out here. Set some idiot traps and spray for morons. Place would be a ghost town shortly.

[El Diablo 4,232]

2 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

When you open your package of Captain's Wafer Honey and Peanut Butter crackers and find that someone in the manufacturing department has forgotten to affix the bottom wafer to half of the package. 

I blame that on the QC guy. Them crackers need to be reworked before getting out the door.

[elfenix 34,161]

1) "drivers" who don't turn on their lights when its raining
1a) vehicles with tiny and dim tail lights that can barely be seen through the rain and spray (pickups are terrible about this - tail lights never extend onto the tailgate like many hatchbacks SUVs so just exist in a tiny little area.  but of course these same vehicles that can barely be seen from behind have 6 fucking headlights because they've all turned into brodozers from the factory)

[Anwar Namtut 344]

3 hours ago, El Diablo said:

 

And while I'm on the rant, you fags sending your shit from a phone, if you can't compose a proper business email then get your ass to a legit computer. Fuck you too and Merry Christmas.

I have clients do this all the time. How the fuck to I get your sideways picture that is not an attachment to the e-mail, but embedded in the e-mail into your file? Bitch.

[Okie State 3,746]

Motherfucking traffic lights that go out and completely fuck me on my drive home.

[ztejas 43,180]

Lyft/Uber drivers that ask me for directions. Had one the other morning that kept asking me which exit to take, which turn to make etc. 

I swear I was one more directional question away from saying "Look, why don't you just fucking pull over and I'll drive."

[El Diablo 4,232]

2 hours ago, Anwar Namtut said:

I have clients do this all the time. How the fuck to I get your sideways picture that is not an attachment to the e-mail, but embedded in the e-mail into your file? Bitch.

I'm lucky I guess in that my "customers" such as they are need me more than I need them. If I get a phone call or email later asking if I got such and such then I'll let 'em know they're doing it WRONG. If they want to run their business out of a phone that's their dealio, I'm not though so get with the program.

Don't get me wrong, I'm nice as hell to people but the fact is I don't have the time for that shit. Yeah, I guess I COULD screen shot your shit and save it as a jpg blah blah... but I'm not going to, not when I've got 100 other folks who aren't fucking with my day.

p.s. - I'm on a business line so no, I can't send you a text, fuckface. Merry Christmas.

[Deej 76,374]

TV shows that spend a minute or two recapping what happened before the commercial break.

[Bama Llama 1,441]

"Theenk yow."

"Joolery."

"All the sudden."

[Bama Llama 1,441]

"Impact" as a verb.

"Partner" as a verb.

Coaches using the royal "we."

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

"Impact" as a verb.
"Partner" as a verb.
Coaches using the royal "we."

People who complain because they are completely unaware that certain words can be either a noun or a verb

[BladeRunnerRock 33]

Loosing a game. They suffered a lose. They loss the game. That team was dominate. They want score more than 2 touchdowns. (high school football forums are a beating)

[Wally Pryor 5,236]

God dammit.  Do we need an 11th Commandment to get this shit right?  Lebron, or anyone else.  Mother fucker. 

 

That's what's most important to me. I can care less about the narrative about me. It doesn't matter. I'm a staple in this game."

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

13 hours ago, Okie State said:

Motherfucking traffic lights that go out and completely fuck me on my drive home.

Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 

[Underdog 28,382]

Or when they go completely out and fucknuts can’t follow simple traffic laws/rules.  

[Okie State 3,746]

Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 

Complete mayhem. Once I finally get up there, I scan to make sure nobody is going and then floor it through the intersection. Everyone either just sits there staring at each other or goes when it's not their turn. All rules go out the window.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

28 minutes ago, Okie State said:

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 

Complete mayhem. Once I finally get up there, I scan to make sure nobody is going and then floor it through the intersection. Everyone either just sits there staring at each other or goes when it's not their turn. All rules go out the window.

This. Yellow mean proceed with caution. Red means stop. Fucktards who stop on Yellow screw shit up. Fuckwads who don't slow down the slightest screw shit up.

[Lat22 3,973]

This may just affect Houston residents, but is there anything AND I MEAN ANYTHING about the late President Bush that we haven’t heard at least 20 times over by now? I guess the local networks are trying to outdo each other with their insane wall to wall coverage. The train, interviewing aggy that can’t say anything about President Bush without tying him into aggy, yada yada yada.....

[Anwar Namtut 344]

When sportscasters talk about one quarterback beating another quarterback. Such as "Peyton Manning was 2-10 (I'm making this up) against Tom Brady." Bitch, the teams play each other, not the quarterbacks. Manning couldn't beat NE's defense, not Brady. Sheesh. I get that if one team gets ahead that can affect the other's game plan, but still...

Also, that the Heisman race has come down to whoever is the best QB or RB on a top 10 team. It's no longer about the best player in college (and hasn't been for some time).

[elfenix 34,161]

2 hours ago, Lat22 said:

This may just affect Houston residents, but is there anything AND I MEAN ANYTHING about the late President Bush that we haven’t heard at least 20 times over by now? I guess the local networks are trying to outdo each other with their insane wall to wall coverage. The train, interviewing aggy that can’t say anything about President Bush without tying him into aggy, yada yada yada.....

you're born to an elite family in new england.  you go to the best schools, serve in the military, and then continue your service throughout your life, eventually reaching the highest office in the land.  throughout, you serve with honor, integrity, and dignity.  and, when you die, you get carted off and buried in college station. 

 

wut

[Lat22 3,973]

He’s the ultimate T-shirt aggy.

[pops 6,971]

Blackout drapes in a hotel that don't quite close all the way. 

[Vic Mackey 46,851]

When sportscasters talk about one quarterback beating another quarterback. Such as "Peyton Manning was 2-10 (I'm making this up) against Tom Brady." Bitch, the teams play each other, not the quarterbacks. Manning couldn't beat NE's defense, not Brady. Sheesh. I get that if one team gets ahead that can affect the other's game plan, but still...
Also, that the Heisman race has come down to whoever is the best QB or RB on a top 10 team. It's no longer about the best player in college (and hasn't been for some time).

That's the nature of the game. The ball is in their hands the entire game for their offenses. They have more control than any other player by far. Changing the play, reading the defenses and even making the throws.

It's the same for pitchers in baseball. They have so much control the others don't. Quarterbacks and pitchers set the tone for the games.

['stache 21,726]

Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,794]

Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

Gonna be extra tough considering you have midget hands

[El Diablo 4,232]

20 hours ago, Okie State said:

22 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 

Complete mayhem. Once I finally get up there, I scan to make sure nobody is going and then floor it through the intersection. Everyone either just sits there staring at each other or goes when it's not their turn. All rules go out the window.

The Russians have tapped into the traffic light grid and are tearing at the fabric of America from within.

[Okie State 3,746]

The Russians have tapped into the traffic light grid and are tearing at the fabric of America from within.

It's working.

[El Diablo 4,232]

5 minutes ago, Okie State said:

23 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

The Russians have tapped into the traffic light grid and are tearing at the fabric of America from within.

It's working.

I couldn't help but think of Hugo as I typed that out. It almost makes sense. fml.

[Underdog 28,382]

You think of Hugo quite often, do ya? 

[Steamboat1874 4,028]

2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

15 hours ago, 'stache said:

Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

Gonna be extra tough considering you have midget hands

Is your name Donald by any chance?

[El Diablo 4,232]

3 hours ago, Underdog said:

You think of Hugo quite often, do ya? 

Are you discouraging discussion of active measures, comrade?  

['stache 21,726]

Is your name Donald by any chance?

 

Seriously though, the keys really are that big. And my dick is not Toad shaped.

 

[pops 6,971]

19 hours ago, 'stache said:

Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

 

Get the cable cutters. Or just leave the keys in the car. No one is stealing a silver Camry. 

[Rip76 4,901]

The words collusion, ilk, and narrative.

 

 

[Underdog 28,382]

2 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Are you discouraging discussion of active measures, comrade?  

None of my business on what you want to measure of Hugo’s.  

[NorthLoop 14,051]

When you finally get that booger that's been bugging you all day and your nostril starts its period. 

[El Diablo 4,232]

On 12/7/2018 at 11:36 PM, NorthLoop said:

When you finally get that booger that's been bugging you all day and your nostril starts its period. 

Lay off the cocaine.

[Underdog 28,382]

You ate it, didn’t you?

[Jameslaw121 4,440]

On 12/7/2018 at 12:00 PM, pops said:

Get the cable cutters. Or just leave the keys in the car. No one is stealing a silver Camry. 

5th most stolen car in the US

[elfenix 34,161]

peoples' constitutional inability to keep up with the car ahead of them while going through a protected left. 

[SilasCoade 2,620]

5 hours ago, elfenix said:

peoples' constitutional inability to keep up with the car ahead of them while going through a protected left. 

oh FUCK YESSSS

[Chad Fuck 17,454]

Went out and had too many Shiners last night. Hot boxed myself by beer farting in the shower this morning.

 

#notafanofhisownbrand

 

[Redneck Mutha 7,885]

On 12/9/2018 at 9:00 AM, Underdog said:

You ate it, didn’t you?

[CooterBrown 17,848]

Spoons that are too deep. With a properly designed spoon, I should be able to clean it off with one bite/slurp and not have to turn it over and eat it out with some tongue action.

[WhatTheBuck 28,696]

8 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

Spoons that are too deep. With a properly designed spoon, I should be able to clean it off with one bite/slurp and not have to turn it over and eat it out with some tongue action.

Your mom, on the other hand...

[ocugolf 1,200]

For the life of me, I will never understand people in the back of airplanes that race to the aisle when the plane lands other than having to rush to catch your next flight. 

[Guest]

On 12/10/2018 at 3:26 PM, elfenix said:

peoples' constitutional inability to keep up with the car ahead of them while going through a protected left. 

the light turned green unexpectedly...and then the 5 cars in front of me all caught me off guard...

[PilotsError 2,277]

For the life of me, I will never understand people in the back of airplanes that race to the aisle when the plane lands other than having to rush to catch your next flight. 

You answered your own question.