Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[PvilleStang 2922]

14 minutes ago, Llogg said:

or you should go fuck yourself, bitch.

[NBMisha 224]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." 

--Mitch Hedberg
 

Works for electric toothbrushes, too.

Of course.  Note "trivial" in thread heading.  Or, all wypipo problems.  Should have been in my carryon, etc, etc.  Now, find something trivial that irks you that we can ridicule out of context.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, NBMisha said:

Now, find something trivial that irks you that we can ridicule out of context.

People who get pissy about comments.

[Incredulity 11683]

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." 

--Mitch Hedberg
 

Works for electric toothbrushes, too.

Counterpoint

 

[MissingInAction 25208]

For those bashing us olds for playing video games, I met a fine young woman while playing battlefront online. 

She sent me pics and a dirty pair of her panties after I bought her a plane ticket to austin. 

Flight keeps getting cancelled though.

Edited January 3, 2019 by MissingInAction

[Lat22 4019]

The dad in Illinois who, after his son told him he wanted to spend his Christmas money on the homeless, called the local tv station and had a crew record their every movement that day from writing out a list, going to the bank to cash out Jr’s savings account, hitting up the Walmart, then delivering the goods. Selfless acts are much better when you don’t do a self promoting story about it. 

[PvilleStang 2922]

42 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

For those bashing us olds for playing video games, I met a fine young woman while playing battlefront online. 

She sent me pics and a dirty pair of her panties after I bought her a plane ticket to austin. 

Flight keeps getting cancelled though.

[luke duke 6414]

For those bashing us olds for playing video games, I met a fine young woman while playing battlefront online. 

She sent me pics and a dirty pair of her panties after I bought her a plane ticket to austin. 

Flight keeps getting cancelled though.

[Guest]

15 hours ago, Llogg said:

Elevator buttons that just have a little light shining around the rim. Motherfucker light that shit up like a Griswold Christmas so I don't have to squint to tell if it registered my floor!

Just hit all of them.

 

You’ll get there eventually. 

[Buffsoldier 1895]

19 minutes ago, slorch said:

Just hit all of them.

 

You’ll get there eventually. 

Weird, that was also my parents attitude towards child-rearing.

[elfenix 34339]

flashing school zone lights when school's not in session. particularly because i have no need of knowing the school calendar, so i don't, and i slow down for no reason.

[Fudge Nuggets 19228]

42 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

Weird, that was also my parents attitude towards child-rearing.

[52-80 19271]

Websites that don't let you override their geographic routing.

My work's internet connection is routed through one country, and i'm often traveling to another.  Some websites will just fucking stick to that local variant and language, and don't allow or will ignore your trying to redirect it to the .COM or .com/en-us or whathaveyou

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

It bothers me when it is almost 70 degreed outside and there are still people out there dressed like it's 40 because it was 40 like 5 hours ago.  

[PantsTent 2002]

It bothers me when it is almost 70 degreed outside and there are still people out there dressed like it's 40 because it was 40 like 5 hours ago.  

Same

[immortal13 4059]

5 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

It bothers me when it is almost 70 degreed outside and there are still people out there dressed like it's 40 because it was 40 like 5 hours ago.  

Or when they are bundled up like an eskimo from the waist up, but are wearing running shorts and sneakers. Wtf?

[El Diablo 4232]

On 1/3/2019 at 10:45 AM, Incredulity said:

Counterpoint

 

And in a strange twist, in the world of escalators that is considered a masterpiece of performance art depicting the final hours of Mitch Hedberg's life.

[El Diablo 4232]

dup!

Edited January 5, 2019 by El Diablo

[Vic Mackey 47168]

Or when they are bundled up like an eskimo from the waist up, but are wearing running shorts and sneakers. Wtf?

I wear long sleeves and shorts in the spring time. Lower body doesn't get as cold as upper body. But it's not a huge ass sweater or hoody though.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

It bothers me when it is almost 70 degreed outside and there are still people out there dressed like it's 40 because it was 40 like 5 hours ago.  

Houston people: OMG!!! It's 50 degrees outside.  Let's make it fucking 90 inside...

[immortal13 4059]

19 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

1 hour ago, immortal13 said:

Or when they are bundled up like an eskimo from the waist up, but are wearing running shorts and sneakers. Wtf?

I wear long sleeves and shorts in the spring time. Lower body doesn't get as cold as upper body. But it's not a huge ass sweater or hoody though.

I'm talking about dead of the winter 30 degree type shit. I see these people and I just want to bitch slap them

[Steel Shank 9432]

Anybody mention the asswipes wearing striped overalls at football games?

[Vic Mackey 47168]

Anybody mention the asswipes wearing striped overalls at football games?

You want to an Aggy game?

[Steel Shank 9432]

[Brisketexan 105451]

No overalls.

But I HAVE been contemplating getting a burnt orange polyester jumpsuit for game days...

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

No overalls.

But I HAVE been contemplating getting a burnt orange polyester jumpsuit for game days...


 

fuckin' fart bag........

[Brisketexan 105451]

fuckin' fart bag........

Fuck yeah...

[BearSchlong 8120]

The dad in Illinois who, after his son told him he wanted to spend his Christmas money on the homeless, called the local tv station and had a crew record their every movement that day from writing out a list, going to the bank to cash out Jr’s savings account, hitting up the Walmart, then delivering the goods. Selfless acts are much better when you don’t do a self promoting story about it. 

Oh this is a good one, not only homeless but veterans and puppies/shelters. 

I've got mixed feelings about this. My ex wife runs a government funded veteran's affairs agency and while in reality she has done tremendous work and helped thousands get much needed assistance it's pretty obvious by her social media presence that a significant amount of her attention whoring is to stroke her own ego. Maybe I notice it because I was married to her and see it for what is, a cry for validation. She's a mean vindictive witch to close family members but public perception puts her up there with mother Teresa.

 

My daughter is a former Miss Tennessee and her mom served as publicist. They went on a statewide campaign to bring awareness to veterans affairs but the minute she didn't win Miss America it was all crickets- they let her website lapse, no more social media campaigns, etc. I pointed out that duh, everyone loves puppies, children, cancer patients, the environment, and veterans when they serve a purpose, but real commitment is when you lose a pageant and keep investing your time for the cause. Tone.

 

I just joined the executive board of a very established, respected nonprofit and can't wait to bust my butt for them in obscurity and relative anonymity.

 

 

[luke duke 6414]

Pics of Miss Tennessee?

[Incredulity 11683]

Pics aren’t loading here either.

[DigglerontheHoof 21260]

7 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

No overalls.

But I HAVE been contemplating getting a burnt orange polyester jumpsuit for game days...


 

My old man and his friends lived in these things in the 70s.  

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

It's great when cancer patients can serve a purpose. 

[luke duke 6414]

No overalls.

But I HAVE been contemplating getting a burnt orange polyester jumpsuit for game days...

If that has an ass flap, then you’re all set.

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

I'm here at the discount tire for new  tires , and there is like a line 5 deep to get air pressure checked.   Can't believe how many can't figure out how to do this themselves.   Sure it's free, but I can do it in like 5 minutes with a cheap inflator at home.

[Assman 1830]

5 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

I'm here at the discount tire for new  tires , and there is like a line 5 deep to get air pressure checked.   Can't believe how many can't figure out how to do this themselves.   Sure it's free, but I can do it in like 5 minutes with a cheap inflator at home.

Back in Oct when we had that really strong cold front come through N. Texas and lows dipped down in the 20s, I passed by a Discount Tire on my way to work one morning and the line for the tire pressure check was spilling out in the street.  Couldn't believe how many people A). Were stupid/lazy enough to not check their own tire pressure and B). Didn't understand how cold temperatures effect air pressure.  I bet they got into their cars that morning, put the key in the ignition, and their dash lit up like a Christmas tree with all the TPMS warnings and thought "zomg wat is happening!"

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

It's not all women either.  There's plenty of dudes with trucks that should own an air compressor.   I think that should be a prerequisite for owning a truck.

[PilotsError 2325]

realest8 approves

[Underdog 28798]

8 hours ago, luke duke said:

Pics of Miss Tennessee?

Have mixed emotions about this, I mean, ever been to Tennessee?  

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

6 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Have mixed emotions about this, I mean, ever been to Tennessee?  

I'm willing to take the risk. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2740]

Andrew Luck’s voice

[elfenix 34339]

It's not all women either.  There's plenty of dudes with trucks that should own an air compressor.   I think that should be a prerequisite for owning a truck.

Or even a bicycle pump

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

Maybe I should back track  and add a surly thought at the same time, because I just remembered something.  I was on a road trip and needed to air up a tire, the damn gas station charges  $1.50 to use their compressor.  Wtf.  Now I kind of understand waiting in line for 15 minutes at discount  tire.  

[Prepuce of Doom 21110]

1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Andrew Luck’s voice

It's what happens when "slobber" and "burp stuck in your throat" have an ugly baby. 

[Richard Kimball 1499]

When the last minute of a basketball game takes twenty minutes because of deliberate fouls. 

[Okie State 3848]

I'm here at the discount tire for new  tires , and there is like a line 5 deep to get air pressure checked.   Can't believe how many can't figure out how to do this themselves.   Sure it's free, but I can do it in like 5 minutes with a cheap inflator at home.

I had no idea this was a thing. A small, basic air compressor is like $100 and will last for years.

[Zavala 1384]

Ring doorbell commercial has this tuff guy scaring off some evil burgers in the middle of the day. Obviously a gym rat.

[WhatTheBuck 28811]

Do you want fries with your evil burger?

[Prepuce of Doom 21110]

The middle-of-the-night poop can go to hell. 

[Your Mom 4855]

On 1/4/2019 at 6:58 PM, Steel Shank said:

There was guy wearing this in burnt orange at the Sugar Bowl. He was an old though and looked senile, so I gave him a pass. 

[Lone Star Horn 2018]

20 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Maybe I should back track  and add a surly thought at the same time, because I just remembered something.  I was on a road trip and needed to air up a tire, the damn gas station charges  $1.50 to use their compressor.  Wtf.  Now I kind of understand waiting in line for 15 minutes at discount  tire.  

To add to this, used to be that most would just start it for you for free when you asked. Now most of these compressors are credit card use and the guys inside have no control over it.