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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
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PantsTent

PantsTent 2002

Posted
Posted

 

1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Fed. Fucking. Ex.

Jesus, the explanation is simple: you delivered my fucking package to the wrong address. I don't really need to hold for 30 minutes while you verify this fact and get the driver to re-deliver it. I don't need you to come back on the phone every 2 minutes to paraphrase in a new and convoluted way the exact same thing you told me the first time; I just need you to fucking re-deliver the fucking package.

I usually hate speaker phone, but this is the only thing it is actually good for. Eventually they will say what they should have said 30 minutes ago.

dry-cleaning-shrunk-seinfeld.jpg?w=800&h

 

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

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Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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Buffsoldier

Buffsoldier 1895

Posted
Posted

Pulse drivers. 

Those individuals who absolutely cannot hold the gas pedal steady while driving, and instead are constantly coming on and off the pedal. I'm on an Uber ride right now from Dulles into DC and this driver is no shit pumping the gas pedal at 30-45 rpm. I'm getting both whiplash and motion sickness....

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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17 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

Pulse drivers. 

Those individuals who absolutely cannot hold the gas pedal steady while driving, and instead are constantly coming on and off the pedal. I'm on an Uber ride right now from Dulles into DC and this driver is no shit pumping the gas pedal at 30-45 rpm. I'm getting both whiplash and motion sickness....

The wife and her mother in law both drive like that. You get sea sick riding with them 

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3539

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Posted
1 hour ago, DougO said:

Runny noses and the complete worthless OTC cold medications, thanks to the fucktard meth heads that got all the good ones taken off the market.

 

Many of the products containing pseudoephedrine are still OTC but kept behind the counter for theft reasons. You might try asking at the counter.

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, FigurelliPwC said:

Asshats who always back in to parking spots.  At my office, the jerkwads who back up traffic in the parking garage in the morning so they can  back into their spots.  Woohoo, when you leave you’ll be out 5 seconds quicker!  Screw the 3 cars waiting on your ass.

If they suck backing in, then they likely have to take more than one shot at pulling in forward too.

Drive the vehicle, don't just aim it.

 

 

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TornACL

TornACL 7666

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8 hours ago, FigurelliPwC said:

Asshats who always back in to parking spots.  At my office, the jerkwads who back up traffic in the parking garage in the morning so they can  back into their spots.  Woohoo, when you leave you’ll be out 5 seconds quicker!  Screw the 3 cars waiting on your ass.

As I've said before, these idiots also seem to somehow pull out in front of me and almost hit me at the end of the day, since they think not having to back out means they don't need to look before they move. 

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Landomatic

Landomatic 3813

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People who use “text” as a past tense.  It’s fucking “texted” and you sound like a dumb, uneducated, backwoods hillbilly when you say stuff like, “I text her but she didn’t respond”.

Saw a debate about this on facebook once and, sure as shit, the one and only person claiming “text” was the proper past tense among hundreds of responses was one of the dumbest people I’ve ever know.

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5918

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Posted

Players that throw fits at the ref even though they obviously committed an infraction.  

I was watching a soccer game - yeah, I know.  Two completely obvious and purposeful hand balls led to two screaming fits at the refs.  This goes for all sports.  If the ref missed the call OR the call lands in a grey area, fine.  If you just threw the WR on the ground while the ball was in the air, don't act like a bitch to the refs.

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Guest

Posted
Posted

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Just once, i'd love to see an official get in a coach's ear and rip his ass for such stupidity and not doing his job right.

 

It's idiotic what the officials are supposed to tolerate.  STFU people and play your gotdam game.

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Landomatic

Landomatic 3813

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

An entire thread can be devoted to this.  

Seen, rather than saw.  "I seen they did that."

1$ rather than $1.

Was, rather than were.  "We was gonna do that."

Yeah, there could definitely be a whole thread on bad grammar.  I think "text" stands on it's own though as I believe the people using it as past tense truly think it's correct.  I don't think, when pressed, anyone would argue that "seen" vs "saw" is proper grammar.  But it's like since "text" as a verb is a fairly new word in the English language, there are idiots dug in on it and are just too dumb to figure it out.  You don't say, "I was just text her"...you say, "I was just texting her".  So why the fuck would you say, "I text her"...rather than "I texted her"?

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8388

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1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Exactly, the correct place for that is under the table top....

As close to the edge as possible so that it gets stuck on someone's shirt.

My peve right now is idiots who have been driving 80 mph slowing down to 72 when they are passing someone doing 70, then speed back up, once past.  Four lanes, no one in front of them, they just slow down for the pass.  Just keep driving, dipshits.

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FigurelliPwC

FigurelliPwC 115

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, slorch said:

If they suck backing in, then they likely have to take more than one shot at pulling in forward too.

Drive the vehicle, don't just aim it.

 

 

I was at HEB a little while ago and this old fart did exactly that, took about 4 times forward/back before he was straight.  And for the record - HEB was open.  

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ztejas

ztejas 43176

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Men with long blond hair wearing skinny jeans. Just checked out this chicks then she turned around. Nope. Goatee....fuck me.....

I feel personally offended.

Except I don't wear a goatee and you would never mistake me for a chick, so, maybe not.

Really, you could have just said "guys that think goatees are acceptable"

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dingleberryswitzer

dingleberryswitzer 2724

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Men with long blond hair wearing skinny jeans. Just checked out this chicks then she turned around. Nope. Goatee....fuck me.....

This is smart to do around your wife.  Get embarrassed a few times,  then for the remainder of time you can check out out blond chicks and when your wife catches to looking, just say "I thought it was a dude".  Bulletproof plan.

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EE2B

EE2B 1561

Posted
Posted
Men with long blond hair wearing skinny jeans. Just checked out this chicks then she turned around. Nope. Goatee....fuck me.....

Two operators at work were walking behind someone at the mill and talking about what a nice ass “she” had. They determined she had to be a volleyball player because of how nice her ass was. When they finally got to see the face, they quickly realized they had been following a dude with long hair around and looking at his ass. We still call him volleyball.
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Posted
Posted (edited)

People on our neighborhood board( from which I am prohibited to post, because the wife works in the schools) losing their minds over a letter from their kids at military basic training not showing up on a certain day. One mom and one dad were complaining about the timing of receiving these letters "that are pure gold" and how much anguish they are experiencing because of it.

1. Wait till that sumbeech is on deployment and you miss a phone call...

2. Who the fuck tracks regular letters?  Get a life.

Edited by slorch
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Brew

Brew 2979

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Posted

I know it has been mentioned before, but what the fuck is up with people not putting their shopping carts up? We were out yesterday and this guy just walks up to an empty space and rolls his shopping cart into it without stopping. Thankfully some lady just happened to be walking by and grabbed it before it hit my wife’s car. The douchebag kept right on walking and paid zero attention as I got out and said something to him.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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7 minutes ago, Brew said:

I know it has been mentioned before, but what the fuck is up with people not putting their shopping carts up? We were out yesterday and this guy just walks up to an empty space and rolls his shopping cart into it without stopping. Thankfully some lady just happened to be walking by and grabbed it before it hit my wife’s car. The douchebag kept right on walking and paid zero attention as I got out and said something to him.

What ya got there is an asshole. They're pretty numerous in the world unfortunately.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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3 minutes ago, Brew said:

Agreed, but every lot you pull through now has carts stacked up everywhere. When did everyone become so damn lazy that they can’t walk the buggies to the proper place? There is generally one on every aisle.

I see most people around her put them back, but there's always lazy people. I've taken to grabbing a cart from the housewives after they empty it to save them a trip when it's convenient for me.

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Bernard

Bernard 879

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Posted
Quote

I know it has been mentioned before, but what the fuck is up with people not putting their shopping carts up? 

Quote

 

Holy shit this. I just moved back to Houston from Sugar Land. I swear no one there has ever tried to return a cart. Maybe it's some Asian cultural thing. It's fucking unreal. They just leave them in the open parking space right next to the car; they put them in the landscaping with front two wheels over the curb; anywhere but the corral that's right there four slots down from your car.

Bernard

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Greg Davis Apologist

Greg Davis Apologist 213

Posted
Posted
On 1/12/2019 at 8:12 AM, Landomatic said:

People who use “text” as a past tense.  It’s fucking “texted” and you sound like a dumb, uneducated, backwoods hillbilly when you say stuff like, “I text her but she didn’t respond”.

Saw a debate about this on facebook once and, sure as shit, the one and only person claiming “text” was the proper past tense among hundreds of responses was one of the dumbest people I’ve ever know.

These same people use "suppose to" instead of "supposed to". 

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