Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[elfenix 34161]

3 hours ago, Js1 said:

Buzzfeed and Buzzfeed News are 2 separate entities. 

 

not really. 

[ztejas 43176]

4 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

16 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

You would also rather fuck Oprah than JLaw. 
 
OPINION INVALIDATED!

False. I don't like black women.

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

7 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

Smooth?

[ztejas 43176]

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Smooth?

Hot

Edited January 18, 2019 by ztejas
Sorry Vic that was a fucking layup

[Buffsoldier 1895]

9 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Hot Full of butter.

Hot is a subjective term.  This is more factually accurate.

[Vic Mackey 46851]

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

I like my liquor like I like my women... Brown.

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

43 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

Cold, pretentious, and in glasses?

[Underdog 28382]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

Freeze Dried and Instant?

[Underdog 28382]

27 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

I like my liquor like I like my women... Brown.

So if Maria Taylor was laying naked on bed begging for your cock, you’d decline it? 

[El Diablo 4232]

Poorly conceived news leads.

The family of a 5-year-old Central Texas girl diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor got some more good news this week.

https://www.kwtx.com/video?vid=504571542

 

 

[Hugh G. Rection 156]

I like my coffee like Vic doesn't like his women. 

Bitter

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

13 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Poorly conceived news leads.

 

 

https://www.kwtx.com/video?vid=504571542

 

 

what now, did the rubble burn down?

[52-80 19046]

Reading/hearing the acronym GOAT 100 times a day in the context of sport

[Okie State 3746]

Two sections of my fence blow over in the high winds yesterday. I knew the posts were rotten so I wasn't surprised. I spend about an hour putting it back together and temporarily bracing until I have time to replace everything. Neighbor is MIA during this so I figure I'm on my own.

This evening he comes by with the property manager (he's a renter). She doesn't own the house, but is the messenger for the owner so I tell her that it's sturdy for now and I plan to replace the posts and two sections next weekend with my Dad. I figured she'd respond 'Great! Send the receipt and we'll split the cost!' knowing she's getting out of this on the cheap. Instead she asks me if we can just do the posts and reuse the rails and pickets...on an 18 year old fence.

I need new neighbors.

[GottaB 588]

Scan credit card at gas station.
No, not debit.
Zip code.
Enter.
Confirmed.
Select grade.
Grade lights up.
Take nozzle from rack.
Insert nozzle in orifice.
Squeeze trigger.
.01 oz flows through hose.
Squeeze trigger again.
...
Turn around grade is still selected.
Confirmed is on screen.
Squeeze trigger again.
...
...
Would you like a car wash today?
 
 
Every damn time. No! You slow piece of shit.
 
Then you get instantaneously blasted by pop news buzz and streaming ads as soon as the pump kicks on. You have enough computing power to blast ads in my face, but not enough to juice over your 2400 baud modem to display a single sentence prompt?
 
 
 

Would you like engine booster added?

No!!!!!

[ERhine 1894]

Poorly conceived news leads.

 

People who think “leads” is correctly used in the above sentence.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

15 minutes ago, ERhine said:

People who think “leads” is correctly used in the above sentence.

 

It ledes me too believe that you no better then us.

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

People who spread salt on snow covered sidewalks. Worse yet is when they spread salt on clean, dry sidewalks when no snow is in the forecast. 

If there's ice on the sidewalk, that's the time to use salt. If there's 3-4" of snow, the salt is just going to create a slushy mess. Shovel the goddamn sidewalk. And all salt does to a clean, dry sidewalk is to turn it wet and you have people needlessly tracking salt into the building. That drives me nuts. The sidewalk is clean and dry. What the fuck do you think you're doing?

[El Diablo 4232]

1 hour ago, ERhine said:

 

 

People who think “leads” is correctly used in the above sentence.

 

People who think non-journalists need to differentiate between lede and lead.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

The lack of NCAA Tournament highlights, other than from the Final Four, for most years on YouTube

[lateshow 1303]

On 1/18/2019 at 5:53 PM, Underdog said:

So if Maria Taylor was laying naked on bed begging for your cock, you’d decline it? 

Unpossible. Even subliminalhorn and js would give her the D.

[Deej 76374]

On 1/4/2019 at 7:25 PM, immortal13 said:

Or when they are bundled up like an eskimo from the waist up, but are wearing running shorts and sneakers. Wtf?

Maybe they just have hot legs?

 

[Sandman 3401]

My office switched to new copy paper and it's got "double the amount of recycled paper!" according to the package. It fucking sucks, feels like paper that got wet earlier in the day and is now 90% dry. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

26 minutes ago, Sandman said:

My office switched to new copy paper and it's got "double the amount of recycled paper!" according to the package. It fucking sucks, feels like paper that got wet earlier in the day and is now 90% dry. 

These kinds of things always sound good but end up failing. You'll end up using twice as much as it jams up the copier. WONT ANYONE THINK OF THE PLANET???

[elfenix 34161]

new contacts fresh out of the package that are scratchy

Edited January 23, 2019 by elfenix

[F250 28614]

People in Texas that wish they lived up north where it snows. That is a miserable existence that causes people with SAD to off themselves. Appreciate the fact that you can participate in outdoor activities in the middle of January.

[Al_4_ISU 12387]

On 1/17/2019 at 9:34 PM, Llano Estacado said:

Scan credit card at gas station.

No, not debit.

Zip code.

Enter.

Confirmed.

Select grade.

Grade lights up.

Take nozzle from rack.

Insert nozzle in orifice.

Squeeze trigger.

.01 oz flows through hose.

Squeeze trigger again.

...

Turn around grade is still selected.

Confirmed is on screen.

Squeeze trigger again.

...

...

Would you like a car wash today?

 

 

Every damn time. No! You slow piece of shit.

 

Then you get instantaneously blasted by pop news buzz and streaming ads as soon as the pump kicks on. You have enough computing power to blast ads in my face, but not enough to juice over your 2400 baud modem to display a single sentence prompt?

 

 

 

Holy fuck, this.  It's worse this time of year when the cold seems to make that shit run slower, and also makes you antsier to get out of the elements.

[Al_4_ISU 12387]

6 minutes ago, F250 said:

People in Texas that wish they lived up north where it snows. That is a miserable existence that causes people with SAD to off themselves. Appreciate the fact that you can participate in outdoor activities in the middle of January.

Who says we don't?

I'm helping run an ice fishing contest on Saturday.  Sunny, with a high of 4.  The booze will flow, and the fish will bite.  If you spend the winter stuck inside, it's on you, IMO.  They make cold weather gear.

[Underdog 28382]

Yeah.  That's a whole lot of stupid with that take.  You layer up and have a good time. 

[Al_4_ISU 12387]

7 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Yeah.  That's a whole lot of stupid with that take.  You layer up and have a good time. 

There are people who choose to stay inside all winter, and bitch, moan, and get depressed about it - F250 isn't wrong about that part.  I know I'm susceptible to SAD, so I chose to find ways to deal with winter.  I have almost zero sympathy for people who live in places with cold and snow that bitch about it.  There's a remedy.  You either layer up and navigate the cold, or you move.

[Underdog 28382]

People with issues are going to have issues.  I stand by my comment. 

[Brothahorn 10081]

Rent a cops in their fake cop cars. There was a black suv traveling north on 59 last night. It had all the markings/lights of HPD/DPS from behind. Which means they were driving below the speed limit and forcing all the morons to drive slower. I finally work my way around and on the door is some bullshit 'investigative services'. Fake Ass Rent A Cops.

[F250 28614]

52 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Who says we don't?

I'm helping run an ice fishing contest on Saturday.  Sunny, with a high of 4.  The booze will flow, and the fish will bite.  If you spend the winter stuck inside, it's on you, IMO.  They make cold weather gear.

I should have been more clear. I had activities like golf and baseball in mind when I wrote that post with the target audience being Texans. My kids were the ones who recently made the snow comment.

Their winter snow experience is limited to annual ski trips to Colorado. Which isn't close to the same thing as living up north.

[Al_4_ISU 12387]

5 minutes ago, F250 said:

I should have been more clear. I had activities like golf and baseball in mind when I wrote that post with the target audience being Texans. My kids were the ones who recently made the snow comment.

Their winter snow experience is limited to annual ski trips to Colorado. Which isn't close to the same thing as living up north.

Yeah, they get more snow in one shot than we get in a lot of entire winters.

There's still a lot you can do outdoors in winter in a northern climate.  You just have to invest in the gear to stay comfortable.  Baseball and golf for kids are definitely not among those activities.  We grew up spending a lot of time dragging sleds behind snowmobiles or 3 wheelers, building snow forts, and shit like that.  Iowa isn't quite far enough north to have ever generated much hockey culture, which blows.  Because hockey is awesome.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

I love weather in all it's varied forms.  I'd never live somewhere with only 1 or 2 seasons. Fuck that noise. I want 2 good snow dumps a Winter.

[Guest Lobo]

Also, Southerners need to remember---snow ain't the bad part.  If it's snowing, it means you can go outside---it means its actually mild out (temp.-wise).  It's when the freezing rain and graupel come down or even at you at 50mph...that's when you think "ah, fuck it" and go back inside.  Some snow at the holidays is/was nice.  It's the dead of winter, early February when it's dark at 4:15p and everything is coated in ice and the sleet is blowing at your face...that's when you realize you don't have to shovel sunshine.  

But yeah, we were outside doing shit almost every day of the Winter growing up.  You only worried when you didn't hear the snowplows or salt trucks outside.  

Edited January 23, 2019 by Lobo

[El Diablo 4232]

I'll admit, I had to google "graupel".

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

15 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Also, Southerners need to remember---snow ain't the bad part.  If it's snowing, it means you can go outside---it means its actually mild out (temp.-wise).  It's when the freezing rain and graupel come down or even at you at 50mph...that's when you think "ah, fuck it" and go back inside.  Some snow at the holidays is/was nice.  It's the dead of winter, early February when it's dark at 4:15p and everything is coated in ice and the sleet is blowing at your face...that's when you realize you don't have to shovel sunshine.  

But yeah, we were outside doing shit almost every day of the Winter growing up.  You only worried when you didn't hear the snowplows or salt trucks outside.  

Shit if there's a forecast of snow in the south there's a run on milk, bread, snow shovels and sleds and the schools close for the week.  Anything more than 6" and governors declare states of emergency....

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

55 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

Rent a cops in their fake cop cars. There was a black suv traveling north on 59 last night. It had all the markings/lights of HPD/DPS from behind. Which means they were driving below the speed limit and forcing all the morons to drive slower. I finally work my way around and on the door is some bullshit 'investigative services'. Fake Ass Rent A Cops.

Those damn school district cops too!

[Al_4_ISU 12387]

I've never heard the term graupel in my life.  I'm not sure where you grew up Lobo, but that sounds harsher than what we deal with.

February is when we get our most snow in big snow years, but in light snow years, shit starts turning around in late February.  But then you get one of those random, violent March blizzards that fucks everything up, but is melted in less than a week.  January is the cold as balls month, although this year it looks like early February will be part of that "cold as balls" rotation too.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

Looked at my odometer getting off the interstate this morning.  Reading?  222221.

Got distracted with paying attention to the cars around me. 

Next time I looked down?  222223.

 

Motherfucker.  Missed it entirely....

[elfenix 34161]

white space on webpages that is active

[Sam Lin 3539]

6 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Shit if there's a forecast of snow in the south there's a run on milk, bread, snow shovels and sleds and the schools close for the week.  Anything more than 6" and governors declare states of emergency....

[Mach 1 1676]

People who hang out to socialize with Starbucks baristas while they're fucking working.  Yes, we see you in your yoga pants/cycling shorts hanging over the glass discussing your latest vet visit with Sparky while the goddamn history degree having employee is trying to manage 20 fucking cups around hot liquid and gas while also trying not to be rude and giving you an "Uh huh" and "You don't say?"

JFC I order plain coffee but my wife and daughter like iced teas, so I have to stand there and watch this shit.

Get a life and get some friends and get out of the way of tired people and their caffeine.  Dumbasses.

[Mach 1 1676]

Oh and while we're at it the shitheads that plant themselves in the middle of the cream and sugar table, even though there's room for one, maybe two more people if they'd move to the edge.  But no. These fat fucks pour sugar, after sugar  ... then lesiurely stir it, take a sip, shake their head "nah" .. then pour another sugar, leisurely stir it....  Meanwhile they are oblivious to the 5-10 people behind them, waiting patiently, but also fantasizing of grabbing a bat and hitting away.

[ztejas 43176]

Old people (like gray hairs - talking 70+) at movies that think they can make as much fucking noise as they want, leave and come back in the loudest way possible four times during the movie, hold an audible conversation at any point they feel like, bitch at Martha because "we're sitting in the wrong seats", drop a glass beer bottle 40 minutes in and just generally act like they are the only people in attendance. 

This is not all gray hairs - but it is an observed trend. I paid more for the ticket than you did, you probably see 3 movies a week because you have the time and expendable income to do so, so please act like an adult, shut the fuck up and be courteous to the rest of the theater. You aren't 13 fucking years old. I'll hold the door for you, I'll help you with your groceries, I'll let you cut me in line, but once the lights go down and the opening credits roll, please. For the love of God, please. Try to pretend like you're being quiet. 

/rant

[GottaB 588]

Looked at my odometer getting off the interstate this morning.  Reading?  222221.
Got distracted with paying attention to the cars around me. 
Next time I looked down?  222223.
 
Motherfucker.  Missed it entirely....

This guy gets the purpose of the thread.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Mach 1 said:

Oh and while we're at it the shitheads that plant themselves in the middle of the cream and sugar table, even though there's room for one, maybe two more people if they'd move to the edge.  But no. These fat fucks pour sugar, after sugar  ... then lesiurely stir it, take a sip, shake their head "nah" .. then pour another sugar, leisurely stir it....  Meanwhile they are oblivious to the 5-10 people behind them, waiting patiently, but also fantasizing of grabbing a bat and hitting away.

drink it black.  Reason #854.

[Underdog 28382]

First mistake is going to fucking Starbucks, both McDs and Dunkin’ have just as good if not better coffee. 

[Al_4_ISU 12387]

12 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Oddly enough, the "milk and bread before a blizzard" shit happens in the Midwest too.  We got a ton of snow last Saturday, and on Friday the grocery store in town was a fucking zoo.

It could snow two feet, and I could still walk up town to the grocery store in a matter of minutes.  Also, even the worst snow storms here result in the roads being plowed out within 24 hours.  If you're financially capable of stocking your home with food, how do you not already have enough of it to survive the next 24 hours, maximum?