Jump to content

Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 19.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
nnm
nnm

Posted Images

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

How else are you going to disrupt the paradigm?

Value added to shifting the noun/verb market place. Huddle for a scrum with stakeholders for road mapping and parking lot alignment.

We need our customers to lean in on this marketing...

 

What in the living fuck does this even mean?  Yes, contextual clues, but who heard it the first time and thought, "Yes, that sounds smarter than hell..."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26442

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, slorch said:

We need our customers to lean in on this marketing...

What in the living fuck does this even mean?  Yes, contextual clues, but who heard it the first time and thought, "Yes, that sounds smarter than hell..."

Obviously you've never sat thru a Marketing meeting. Everyone else in the company are morons and if it wasn't for the marketing people, you'd all be out of jobs. So I've been told by the marketing people. Synergy. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4385

Posted
Posted
On 4/6/2019 at 11:24 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

The police do if it covers any part of any numbers or letters they can pull you over for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TornACL

TornACL 7792

Posted
Posted

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Felix

Felix 644

Posted
Posted
49 minutes ago, TornACL said:

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

I go even farther.  I tell them I will gladly let them leave them on for 1-3 years if hey will take $1000-$3000 off the price.  I call it my fee to market their dealership.

  • Like 1
  • Fuck You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buffsoldier

Buffsoldier 1895

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Felix said:

I go even farther.  I tell them I will gladly let them leave them on for 1-3 years if hey will take $1000-$3000 off the price.  I call it my fee to market their dealership.

You're nice to them.  I tell them $100.00 per month for the entire time I own the vehicle.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21288

Posted
Posted
I'm more pissed at him for being over the age of 8 and having a scooter (at least that's what it looks like).
So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.1a026f3255abb3b13c9e4dd17c579afb.jpg6b5898f24fb908e6e84e4cb66033dd26.jpg
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jimbaround

Jimbaround 987

Posted
Posted

Why is it that every fucking time I need to unlock the door to get in the house my keys are in the same pocket as whatever hand is carrying all the shit I’m bringing in from the car?

I’m forced to do the awkward opposite hand cross body pocket dig.

It makes it all better when my wife is sitting on the couch fifteen feet away from the door.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites
luke duke

luke duke 6450

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.1a026f3255abb3b13c9e4dd17c579afb.jpg6b5898f24fb908e6e84e4cb66033dd26.jpg

You're giving ROFLBOX a run for his money.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
EMAWesome

EMAWesome 101

Posted
Posted

Stores that put trash cans out in front of their building but nowhere near the doors of the building.  I'm not walking through the wall of your store when I am entering and leaving.  I am walking through your doors.  If you want me to throw my trash in your trash cans put them by the doors.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

Posted
Posted
On 4/8/2019 at 10:10 AM, TornACL said:

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

And here I thought I was the only one. + rep 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Loco

Loco 3754

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, EMAWesome said:

Stores that put trash cans out in front of their building but nowhere near the doors of the building.  I'm not walking through the wall of your store when I am entering and leaving.  I am walking through your doors.  If you want me to throw my trash in your trash cans put them by the doors.

assholes who litter

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lateshow

lateshow 1324

Posted
Posted
On 4/6/2019 at 1:57 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

How about license plate frames and stickers from the car dealership? Yeah, I fucking hate you guys so much, but I want to drive around displaying your advertisements...for free. 

I immediately remove those from my vehicles. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8887

Posted
Posted
On 4/9/2019 at 3:09 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.1a026f3255abb3b13c9e4dd17c579afb.jpg6b5898f24fb908e6e84e4cb66033dd26.jpg

Prepuce, you seem a little "disturbed" or obsessed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Just saw a news story about an old couple that crashed their car into a store. The newscaster said “the driver mistook the brake for the gas pedal”. No you idiot, if that were true he would have stopped when he wanted to go. He mistook the gas pedal for the brake you moron.

I'd write a very strongly worded letter to the editor....

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sandman

Sandman 3435

Posted
Posted

Fucking ebay sellers and their "Make an offer" bullshit. Guy priced his item at 55, I offered 40. He counters at 50 and says "Final price, no lower". Why even do the offer part? I'm not saying he should be forced to take my offer but if 5 bucks is all the margin you have, just stick with the "buy it now" and quit acting like you're doing me a favor. This other douche was at 75, I offered 60. He graciously countered with 72. WTF?

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14500

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Sandman said:

Fucking ebay sellers and their "Make an offer" bullshit. Guy priced his item at 55, I offered 40. He counters at 50 and says "Final price, no lower". Why even do the offer part? I'm not saying he should be forced to take my offer but if 5 bucks is all the margin you have, just stick with the "buy it now" and quit acting like you're doing me a favor. This other douche was at 75, I offered 60. He graciously countered with 72. WTF?

He's expecting you to continue the dance until you settle at 67 or somewhere in the middle. Not rocket science. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TornACL

TornACL 7792

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Sandman said:

Fucking ebay sellers and their "Make an offer" bullshit. Guy priced his item at 55, I offered 40. He counters at 50 and says "Final price, no lower". Why even do the offer part? I'm not saying he should be forced to take my offer but if 5 bucks is all the margin you have, just stick with the "buy it now" and quit acting like you're doing me a favor. This other douche was at 75, I offered 60. He graciously countered with 72. WTF?

Yeah that's called negotiation friend. Stay strong. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 6309

Posted
Posted

At home with a sick kid today.  School has been a beating lately, so I'm counting it as a day off.  Cool.  Time to sleep in.  Nope.

7:45 - Wife calls.  She left her phone at home.  Call her on this number if need be.

8:01 - Parent of one of my students texts three times to let me know she's sorry her kid hit another kid yesterday.

8:08 - Some robocall re: yearly insurance signups are coming up.

Oh well, at least I got the yard done.  Don't have to worry about it while in Austin for the Spring Game over the weekend.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26442

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, former alkie said:

3 lane road, and car in right lane isn’t turning right on red.

Granted, it’s not a turn only lane, but still....

If it’s an old, it doesn’t really bother me as much, but typically, it’s just some poor

This kills me. Common fucking courtesy people.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4385

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, former alkie said:

3 lane road, and car in right lane isn’t turning right on red.

Granted, it’s not a turn only lane, but still....

If it’s an old, it doesn’t really bother me as much, but typically, it’s just some poor

What is worse is they sit there during the red and then turn right anyway when the light turns green.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 6309

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I can't imagine being a teacher and giving your cell phone number to Mom's (unless they are hot).

How many "what was tonight's homework?" texts do you get in a week?

It's a poor school.  I'm generally quite ecstatic when I hear from a parent.  16 students.  I've met about 6 parents.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2622

Posted
Posted
50 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

This kills me. Common fucking courtesy people.

This is stupid. It's never wrong to be in the appropriate lane for your course of action. You expecting other people to make multiple lane changes to accommodate the possibility that someone coming behind them might maybe want to turn right on red of the opportunity arises is the height of entitlement.

  • Like 4
  • Fuck You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26442

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, Llogg said:

This is stupid. It's never wrong to be in the appropriate lane for your course of action. You expecting other people to make multiple lane changes to accommodate the possibility that someone coming behind them might maybe want to turn right on red of the opportunity arises is the height of entitlement.

Yes. I am entitled. Fuck you too.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11192

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I can't imagine being a teacher and giving your cell phone number to Mom's (unless they are hot).

How many "what was tonight's homework?" texts do you get in a week?

Ten o clock last night, I ask some insignificant question to the wife about some insignificant shit my 3rd grader has coming up in school. Wife says "I'll text Mrs. ____." I'm like, what? its ten o clock at night.

Before I can even get the words out, the teacher has texted back.

Wtf.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...