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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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And in memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, let’s get hammered on Keystone Lights and and try to Darwin ourselves on jet skis in a muddy man made lake with other drunk rednecks. The disconnect of what it is and is supposed to be bothers me.

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18 minutes ago, 'stache said:

And in memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, let’s get hammered on Keystone Lights and and try to Darwin ourselves on jet skis in a muddy man made lake with other drunk rednecks. The disconnect of what it is and is supposed to be bothers me.

St. Patrick was mostly notable as an anti-slavery crusader (the very first in Western history), but his day is celebrated with drunken riots and polluted rivers. Misappropriating holidays for the purposes of debauchery has a long and storied tradition.

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12 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

There's a guy in my dept that has to have his caps lock on most of the time for the work he does (not his fault), but whenever I message him I'm always like "damn asshole no need to yell" in my head when he messages back before I remember. 

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12 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

When a light turns red with no incoming cross traffic in sight.

Tyler Texas, where I do my work day driving, leads the world in red light right-of-way granted to nonexistent drivers at the newest intersections with the newest equipment on the poles.

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16 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Every time that @Kyrie Eleison posts, I get that stupid goddamn Mr. Mister song stuck in my head. 

 

wait...

 

That's like saying every time you see Eli Manning, you hate the Eagles.

 

Works for me...

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I have a health screening on Friday morning.  So I am on no alcohol, no sugar, no dairy and basically healthy for the week so I can pass.  I am very surly.  Come Friday though I am going to be a big case of fuck it all.
3 hot dogs 2 taquitos and 1 nachos with extra chili, cheese, and jalapenos from a gas station?
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On 5/22/2019 at 6:44 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The fact that one of these ATMs is 1.5" lower than all the rest.

I walk past that sumbitch twice a day and it's fucking infuriating. 4ef6c8e790cc489266e46f87be34fcb1.jpg

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

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3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

If there's a red light with no traffic and no camera.... just go.

Texas still do the flashing lights during non-peak traffic hours?  Wish they’d do that up here in Upstate NY.  Hated having to stop 5am for a light and no other traffic in sight. 

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2 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

perfectly summarizes my whole life.

 

All because some asshole doing grading, electrical rough in, column layout.......doesn't give one shit about what comes next.  

 

Also, the architect and engineer have probably issued conflicting documents in regards to the above.

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Shower heads that are knee high to a hobbit.

 

Hey motherfuckers, my bellybutton ain't THAT fucking dirty.

We're staying at a very nice resort for a company meeting.  Everything is very nice...but wholly fok why?  Why so fucking short?

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On 5/14/2019 at 5:48 PM, ztejas said:

I work in an office with all women (for another couple months at least). 

Sometimes I get the question, "What's it like being the only guy?"

Today I come back from lunch to a cupcake tray that a client has gifted us:

20190514-140802.jpg

You must not work in the public sector because you would have to fight the heifers here to even smell that spread.

These whales are so huge that two of them walking side by side will block entire hallways.

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First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.
You've got a good eye for the problems. So good that I suspect you may have been involved with the construction itself.

Here's a standard 3"x3" Post-It Note for scale. Your estimate is much closer - looks like about 4".

And now I'm probably on some sort of Citibank/Treasury Department watch list after having taken multiple pictures of this same bank of ATMs. 55793d9fa9831a8c6f436acc7181f058.jpg7fb69d676043cfcfd7eb4c33a7e3cbdc.jpg
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Trying to open Whataburger straws.  It seems that banging one end of the straw on the table no longer causes the other side to break through.  Now I have to lick my finger to get a good grip on the tip pf the paper to tear it and remove it with my hands.  

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5 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Passed my health screening this morning.  Going to light up a Cuban and have some Scotch for breakfast to celebrate.  Then work on some architectural layouts for Citibank.

Architectural layouts for a Citibank?  Sounds like an artist's dream ;)

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