Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Llogg said:

@slorch you ever think that maybe those people are just politely telling you they wish you had died?

It's understood...

[ChickenSandwich 9836]

Putting fitted sheets on a king mattress

cling wrap box cutter

 

[Texaskimo 135]

What's special about a king mattress in the fitted sheet game?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

He’s using queen sheets

['stache 21816]

And in memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, let’s get hammered on Keystone Lights and and try to Darwin ourselves on jet skis in a muddy man made lake with other drunk rednecks. The disconnect of what it is and is supposed to be bothers me.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

18 minutes ago, 'stache said:

And in memory of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice, let’s get hammered on Keystone Lights and and try to Darwin ourselves on jet skis in a muddy man made lake with other drunk rednecks. The disconnect of what it is and is supposed to be bothers me.

St. Patrick was mostly notable as an anti-slavery crusader (the very first in Western history), but his day is celebrated with drunken riots and polluted rivers. Misappropriating holidays for the purposes of debauchery has a long and storied tradition.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

On 5/24/2019 at 6:36 PM, ernest_t_bass said:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. There is nothing on planet earth as annoying as a teenage (middle school age) girl.  If I hear "Yeet!" or "Rip!" or "Legit!" one more time... 

you should date women your own age

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

On 5/22/2019 at 9:10 AM, elfenix said:

when you type something on the numeric keypad and afterward realize num lock was off. 

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

[WhatTheBuck 28783]

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

<------

The dumb question amnesty thread is that way. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

Every time that @Kyrie Eleison posts, I get that stupid goddamn Mr. Mister song stuck in my head. 

 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 minute ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Every time that @Kyrie Eleison posts, I get that stupid goddamn Mr. Mister song stuck in my head. 

 

Works for me with @jimmyjazz, but in a good way!

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Facebook?!?

That seems to be the most frequent place I see the all caps used.

That would explain why WhatTheBuck likes it so much

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

What's special about a king mattress in the fitted sheet game?

Cheeseweasel refuses to walk more than he has to

[Kyrie Eleison 9312]

46 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Every time that @Kyrie Eleison posts, I get that stupid goddamn Mr. Mister song stuck in my head. 

 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

15 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

On 5/27/2019 at 8:09 AM, Texaskimo said:

What's special about a king mattress in the fitted sheet game?

Cheeseweasel refuses to walk more than he has to

[NorthLoop 14208]

12 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

related: why is there a CAPS LOCK key? it seems the only purpose it serves is to make me type a password in ALL CAPS so I can fuck my login up at least once

There's a guy in my dept that has to have his caps lock on most of the time for the work he does (not his fault), but whenever I message him I'm always like "damn asshole no need to yell" in my head when he messages back before I remember. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

When a light turns red with no incoming cross traffic in sight.

[BladeRunnerRock 33]

12 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

When a light turns red with no incoming cross traffic in sight.

Tyler Texas, where I do my work day driving, leads the world in red light right-of-way granted to nonexistent drivers at the newest intersections with the newest equipment on the poles.

[Guest]

16 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Every time that @Kyrie Eleison posts, I get that stupid goddamn Mr. Mister song stuck in my head. 

 

wait...

 

That's like saying every time you see Eli Manning, you hate the Eagles.

 

Works for me...

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

When a light turns red with no incoming cross traffic in sight.

I hit this every morning, same light for off ramp traffic but there isnt anybody on the off ramp

Edited May 29, 2019 by MNLonghornFUKM

[elfenix 34251]

influencers

[Moby Ric 2058]

I have a health screening on Friday morning.  So I am on no alcohol, no sugar, no dairy and basically healthy for the week so I can pass.  I am very surly.  Come Friday though I am going to be a big case of fuck it all.

[elfenix 34251]

I have a health screening on Friday morning.  So I am on no alcohol, no sugar, no dairy and basically healthy for the week so I can pass.  I am very surly.  Come Friday though I am going to be a big case of fuck it all.

3 hot dogs 2 taquitos and 1 nachos with extra chili, cheese, and jalapenos from a gas station?

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1678]

On 5/22/2019 at 6:44 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The fact that one of these ATMs is 1.5" lower than all the rest.

I walk past that sumbitch twice a day and it's fucking infuriating.

This is a shitload of ATM’s, right? 

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

Yeah, I think there's a seventh one behind that pillar on the left side of the picture. 

[NorthLoop 14208]

If there's a red light with no traffic and no camera.... just go.

[Moby Ric 2058]

On 5/22/2019 at 6:44 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The fact that one of these ATMs is 1.5" lower than all the rest.

I walk past that sumbitch twice a day and it's fucking infuriating.

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

[Underdog 28662]

3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

If there's a red light with no traffic and no camera.... just go.

Texas still do the flashing lights during non-peak traffic hours?  Wish they’d do that up here in Upstate NY.  Hated having to stop 5am for a light and no other traffic in sight. 

[Incredulity 11675]

2 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

perfectly summarizes my whole life.

 

All because some asshole doing grading, electrical rough in, column layout.......doesn't give one shit about what comes next.  

 

Also, the architect and engineer have probably issued conflicting documents in regards to the above.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

People who wear bow ties. Especially if they are in their 20s.

[El Diablo 4232]

Some bow tie wearing dickhead is responsible for wonky ATM placement.

[Guest]

Shower heads that are knee high to a hobbit.

 

Hey motherfuckers, my bellybutton ain't THAT fucking dirty.

We're staying at a very nice resort for a company meeting.  Everything is very nice...but wholly fok why?  Why so fucking short?

[MissingInAction 25085]

On 5/14/2019 at 5:48 PM, ztejas said:

I work in an office with all women (for another couple months at least). 

Sometimes I get the question, "What's it like being the only guy?"

Today I come back from lunch to a cupcake tray that a client has gifted us:

You must not work in the public sector because you would have to fight the heifers here to even smell that spread.

These whales are so huge that two of them walking side by side will block entire hallways.

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

First it is much lower the 1.5" than the others, more like 4 1/4", you should go measure it to make sure. Also the camera in the ceiling seems to be focused on that particular ATM and it is off center from it.  And clearly who ever did the tile layout on the floor has no fucking clue since it is a cut piece on both sides of the walkway.  Unless the floor changes elevation where the tile ends and the floor changes. Looking at the bottom of the column that may be the case.  This pic is full of problems.

You've got a good eye for the problems. So good that I suspect you may have been involved with the construction itself.

Here's a standard 3"x3" Post-It Note for scale. Your estimate is much closer - looks like about 4".

And now I'm probably on some sort of Citibank/Treasury Department watch list after having taken multiple pictures of this same bank of ATMs.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Maybe there is something structural in the wall that required that ATM to be a little lower.

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

That’s a good hypothesis...that wall must be disassembled.

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

That’s a good hypothesis...that wall must be disassembled.

I wonder what it could be?

[Buffsoldier 1895]

11 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Some bow tie wearing dickhead is responsible for wonky ATM placement.

What you did there.  It has been seen.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Buffsoldier

[Guest Lobo]

it's like the Monopoly man molested himself as a child and grew up again and became president of a mid-tiered public university.  

[El Diablo 4232]

6 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

What you did there.  It has been seen.

When he gets excited, I bet the tie spins. "What? You wrecked my car??" WHIRRRRRR!!!!!!

[Moby Ric 2058]

Passed my health screening this morning.  Going to light up a Cuban and have some Scotch for breakfast to celebrate.  Then work on some architectural layouts for Citibank.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

This makes you surly? You're doing life wrong.

[Moby Ric 2058]

No I posted earlier that I was surly that I had to cut out all the good things in life for a bit to pass a health screen.  I am back on my vices now and less surly.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

9 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

No I posted earlier that I was surly that I had to cut out all the good things in life for a bit to pass a health screen.  I am back on my vices now and less surly.

[cabowabo 4487]

Trying to open Whataburger straws.  It seems that banging one end of the straw on the table no longer causes the other side to break through.  Now I have to lick my finger to get a good grip on the tip pf the paper to tear it and remove it with my hands.  

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Sounds kinky.

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

Lick the tip before you bang it? 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

14 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Lick the tip before you bang it? 

[Guest Lobo]

5 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Passed my health screening this morning.  Going to light up a Cuban and have some Scotch for breakfast to celebrate.  Then work on some architectural layouts for Citibank.

Architectural layouts for a Citibank?  Sounds like an artist's dream

[NorthLoop 14208]

8 hours ago, Lobo said:

Architectural layouts for a Citibank?  Sounds like an artist's dream

Just keep those blueprints away from Slippin Jimmy.