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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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After irth

After irth 1242

Posted
Posted
On 6/13/2019 at 3:27 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m on my way to church to drop off my daughter on my way to the office. We had just stopped at Shipley’s so I have a huge cup of steaming hot coffee in my right hand. I’m on a three lane divided road. I’m in the left lane, which is left turn only, fat bitch with huge smelly cunt is in the center lane just off my starboard bow, the bus is in the right lane well ahead of both of us. The bus stops at a bus stop with its rear blocking the right lane and it’s front blocking half of the center lane (yeah fuck him too). Fat bitch with huge smelly cunt immediately swerves into my lane to go around the bus. I have to slam on my brakes to avoid having my bumper removed by fat bitch with huge smelly cunt. Contents of coffee cup are now all over me. So on a day when I’m trying to get ready to file an S-3, S-8, and an 8-k with the SEC I have to spend an hour returning home to change clothes before I can go to the office. The fat bitch with a huge smelly cunt is extremely lucky that I did not have time to memorize the plate number on her car that surely smells like a huge smelly cunt. I just hope she got to her office before all the donuts were gone.

 

On 6/13/2019 at 3:27 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m on my way to church to drop off my daughter on my way to the office. We had just stopped at Shipley’s so I have a huge cup of steaming hot coffee in my right hand. I’m on a three lane divided road. I’m in the left lane, which is left turn only, fat bitch with huge smelly cunt is in the center lane just off my starboard bow, the bus is in the right lane well ahead of both of us. The bus stops at a bus stop with its rear blocking the right lane and it’s front blocking half of the center lane (yeah fuck him too). Fat bitch with huge smelly cunt immediately swerves into my lane to go around the bus. I have to slam on my brakes to avoid having my bumper removed by fat bitch with huge smelly cunt. Contents of coffee cup are now all over me. So on a day when I’m trying to get ready to file an S-3, S-8, and an 8-k with the SEC I have to spend an hour returning home to change clothes before I can go to the office. The fat bitch with a huge smelly cunt is extremely lucky that I did not have time to memorize the plate number on her car that surely smells like a huge smelly cunt. I just hope she got to her office before all the donuts were gone.

I.J. Miggs is alive and well, ladies and gentlemen!

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Pancho

Pancho 44110

Posted
Posted

I drive up the 45 a lot from Houston to Dallas/Gainesville to visit my parents. 

Not sure if it’s just this highway or not, but there are way too many slow drivers in the left lane. Today, i stayed in the left lane because i know you can probably cruise at 85 in the left lane both ways.  But multiple times i found myself slowed down in the left lane.  The reason? Someone was going 65 or lower in the left lane. In order to pass people, i had to get the right lane more times than i could count. 

Fucking annoying. 

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Pancho said:

I drive up the 45 a lot from Houston to Dallas/Gainesville to visit my parents.  

Fucking annoying. 

Well I think we've found the problem, you talk like a New Jersey douchenozzle. You stop that and the people around you will start driving right.

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted (edited)
27 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

When you are at someone’s house and go to take a leak and accidentally slam the toilet seat/lid down embarrassingly loud 

I kind of like it, it's like you're spiking the football so everyone can hear

TAKE THAT, TURD!!!

Edited by SwanderedTalent
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Well I think we've found the problem, you talk like a New Jersey douchenozzle. You stop that and the people around you will start driving right.

One thing I'm surprised by is with all the Californians and East Coast folks moving to Texas, nobody seems to have brought that annoying trend with them of calling roadways by "The" and then their number; e.g.- "The 35", "The 183", "The 620", et. al.  I fully expected that to start a few years ago and it never has.  Probably because all of our roads have three different names

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Dewey

Dewey 3279

Posted
Posted

Someone pulls out in front of me, driving really slow, throwing trash out of their car. Their right blinker is on, but they never turn right. Pass them, honk and they throw up their arms and give me the wtf look.

Sunshine on an otherwise cloudy and rainy day, thank you.

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5916

Posted
Posted

Vegans.  I will say that most that I've met aren't too in-your-face about it.

There's a team on The Great American Food Truck Race that is vegan.  They make it a point to eschew any part of the competition that requires meat.  Last night, they were to use 5 lbs of pulled pork for a BBQ challenge.  The dumb bitch said, "We are a meat-free truck and will not accept the BBQ.  Plus, all BBQ is is putting sauce on the meat, so we'll just create our own sauce".  My wife almost had to change the channel I flew off the handle so quickly. 

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Js1

Js1 84939

Posted
Posted

People who use turn signals in parking garages. Like ok bro, thanks for letting me know you’re turning right and not left into the wall. 

And it’s the same ones who don’t use them on the road. 

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Continental Op

Continental Op 3934

Posted
Posted (edited)
17 minutes ago, Okie State said:

Ahh, alright. Fuck you then.

That's nice.  Have fun wrapping your minivan around a telephone pole with what is theoretically your most precious possession in the back after you suck down a bunch of IPAs, Mr. Mom.  

Edited by Continental Op
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Bullneck

Bullneck 18922

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Js1 said:

People who use turn signals in parking garages. Like ok bro, thanks for letting me know you’re turning right and not left into the wall. 

And it’s the same ones who don’t use them on the road. 

They're telling you, "This is MY spot.  Don't try to swoop in from the oncoming direction and steal it from me."

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Js1

Js1 84939

Posted
Posted
Just now, Bullneck said:

They're telling you, "This is MY spot.  Don't try to swoop in from the oncoming direction and steal it from me."

That isn't what he was doing.  He went up the ramp, put his blinker on, turned right (which is the only direction you can go) and then proceeded through the parking garage.

Fyi, he didn't actually park until about 4 floors later. 

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ABSR

ABSR 5284

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Js1 said:

That isn't what he was doing.  He went up the ramp, put his blinker on, turned right (which is the only direction you can go) and then proceeded through the parking garage.

Fyi, he didn't actually park until about 4 floors later. 

Next you will complain when Nascar drivers put their left turn blinker on.

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VolenteHawk

VolenteHawk 495

Posted
Posted
22 hours ago, Lobo said:

One thing I'm surprised by is with all the Californians and East Coast folks moving to Texas, nobody seems to have brought that annoying trend with them of calling roadways by "The" and then their number; e.g.- "The 35", "The 183", "The 620", et. al.  I fully expected that to start a few years ago and it never has.  Probably because all of our roads have three different names

I’ve never really understood that. “How do I get from the airport to Leander?” “183N to Ed Bluestein to Research to 183A but you never have to turn.”

 

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Js1

Js1 84939

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

I’ve never really understood that. “How do I get from the airport to Leander?” “183N to Ed Bluestein to Research to 183A but you never have to turn.”

 

I always assumed Houston traffic is caused by non-Houstonians who moved here and have no idea every freeway has a number and a name.

News: 7 car pileup on the eastbound Katy Freeway, take alternate routes.

Idiot: Woo, thank God I am taking I-10 to work. 

Edited by Js1
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52-80

52-80 19041

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

I’ve never really understood that. “How do I get from the airport to Leander?” “183N to Ed Bluestein to Research to 183A but you never have to turn.”

 

what about alternating between names and numbers of thoroughfares ?  35 is 35, it aint fucking harry hines

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Frank The Tank

Frank The Tank 1483

Posted
Posted

Fucking doctor’s offices. I had an appointment yesterday with my oncologist, I was diagnosed with Leukemia about 2 years ago. Blood tests are always necessary but we never get the results back in time to discuss them at that meeting. So, I went in a week early to have my blood drawn and get the tests back in enough time to have a meaningful conversation with my doctor. My appointment was at 2:30, but we have to arrive 15 minutes early. We got there at 2:10. 

At 4:15 they finally called my name and we went back to sit in the exam room. At 5:00 the doctor popped in and asked me a few quick questions. He was in there less than 5 minutes before he stepped back out. At 5:30 a nurse came in to tell me that the one test they need to discuss with me (the one we are keeping an eye on and the reason I go in every 3 months) was not performed when they drew my blood last week. 

She took me upstairs to the lab to draw my blood again. When we were finished she said they would “call me tomorrow because the doctor is gone now and it’s too late to set up my next appointment since it’s after 5:30.”

To say I was fucking livid is an understatement. I know you’re busy, we all are. I know mistakes get made and your staff isn’t doing this to me on purpose. But goddamn, this is my life. At least act like you care or are even remotely sorry for the inconvenience. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28694

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Js1 said:

That isn't what he was doing.  He went up the ramp, put his blinker on, turned right (which is the only direction you can go) and then proceeded through the parking garage.

Fyi, he didn't actually park until about 4 floors later. 

Sometimes it's reflexive. I've occasionally found myself unconsciously hitting my blinker when the road I'm driving on has a right angle turn. 

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3867

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 6/17/2019 at 11:40 AM, Continental Op said:

People who bring their kids to brewery taprooms.  Take your little bastards to Chuck E. Cheese or get a babysitter.  

One of the 'kid friendly' breweries opened near us. Turns out an acquaintance is an investor. He invited us to hospitality on his tab and wasn't happy when we told him date night does not include patronizing places with kids running wild everywhere while their parents are drinking.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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pops

pops 6967

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

Fucking doctor’s offices. I had an appointment yesterday with my oncologist, I was diagnosed with Leukemia about 2 years ago. Blood tests are always necessary but we never get the results back in time to discuss them at that meeting. So, I went in a week early to have my blood drawn and get the tests back in enough time to have a meaningful conversation with my doctor. My appointment was at 2:30, but we have to arrive 15 minutes early. We got there at 2:10. 

At 4:15 they finally called my name and we went back to sit in the exam room. At 5:00 the doctor popped in and asked me a few quick questions. He was in there less than 5 minutes before he stepped back out. At 5:30 a nurse came in to tell me that the one test they need to discuss with me (the one we are keeping an eye on and the reason I go in every 3 months) was not performed when they drew my blood last week. 

She took me upstairs to the lab to draw my blood again. When we were finished she said they would “call me tomorrow because the doctor is gone now and it’s too late to set up my next appointment since it’s after 5:30.”

To say I was fucking livid is an understatement. I know you’re busy, we all are. I know mistakes get made and your staff isn’t doing this to me on purpose. But goddamn, this is my life. At least act like you care or are even remotely sorry for the inconvenience. 

Things that aren't trivial for 2000, Alex. 

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