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Posted

Fucking hate swipe texting and how it "suggests" words you didnt mean to save months or even years ago. Shit like y6gn. Now im swiping 5 more times to get my correct word when I could have just typed it in but damned if I let the system win.

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Posted
15 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Fucking hate swipe texting and how it "suggests" words you didnt mean to save months or even years ago. Shit like y6gn. Now im swiping 5 more times to get my correct word when I could have just typed it in but damned if I let the system win.

I wish their was a way to clean out misspelled words.

Posted
When you merge onto a highway and jackass in the far right lane speeds up to get in front of you, and when you slow down to get in behind them they move into the middle lane which was OPEN THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME


People who think they have the right of way while merging on to the highway. While I agree it’s nice practice to move to the left for merging traffic it’s not required
Posted
When a server at a restaurant greets you with, "Have you dined with us before/Have you been here before?"  Unless it's at El Bulli and we're taking a culinary tour for the ages, it doesn't fucking matter if I've been to your place 100 times or never. 
Will my answer somehow affect your service or the way they prepare the food?  "Oh, it's their first time here?  Okay team...let's cook the chicken all the way through then." 
Yeah, I get it.  I order food, they cook it, you bring it out to me, I eat it, I pay you, I leave.  
It's verbal flair 


“Have you guys been here before?”
“Yes”
“Ok well in case you forgot there’s a bucket for all your trash and some extra paper towels”

If “No”
“Ok well let me introduce you to Mr. Bucket and Ms Paper towels”


Lol fml. Wonder if anyone will actually catch where that’s from
Posted
The poor quality control in the commercial paper towel industry. One roll on the dispenser at work will be like butcher paper and the next like tissue paper.


Stop shopping at Aldi’s and Dollar General.
Posted

Why do people get food specifically to eat on the plane? If you’re in a rush, I can understand that. But the family next to me in the terminal has been sitting here for an hour doing nothing. You could have been eating. Instead, as soon as the agent announced we would be boarding in 10 min, these fucksticks go order Johnny rockets. 

This olane is gonna smell like butt.

Posted
On 6/27/2019 at 6:51 AM, Lobo said:

When a server at a restaurant greets you with, "Have you dined with us before/Have you been here before?"  Unless it's at El Bulli and we're taking a culinary tour for the ages, it doesn't fucking matter if I've been to your place 100 times or never. 

Will my answer somehow affect your service or the way they prepare the food?  "Oh, it's their first time here?  Okay team...let's cook the chicken all the way through then." 

Yeah, I get it.  I order food, they cook it, you bring it out to me, I eat it, I pay you, I leave.  

It's verbal flair 

Sorry for shitty quality, best that was available. 

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Posted
6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I wish their was a way to clean out misspelled words.

I wish it would remember your corrections.

Amorello.  Really?

hey grab a bag of chitos on the way home for the kids.

 

smdh... don't give me bells & whistles if they are fucked up.

Posted
Why do people get food specifically to eat on the plane? If you’re in a rush, I can understand that. But the family next to me in the terminal has been sitting here for an hour doing nothing. You could have been eating. Instead, as soon as the agent announced we would be boarding in 10 min, these fucksticks go order Johnny rockets. 
This olane is gonna smell like butt.

At least they aren’t dipping on the plane like Rex/dr beeper.
Posted
27 minutes ago, Colonel Sanders said:

Just saw a commercial for the ESPYs.  How is that shit still a thing?

Because commercials still get a decent return on investment. Though I admit, it's not as good as product placement in movies.

Posted
Just saw a commercial for the ESPYs.  How is that shit still a thing?
We're well into the sports abyss. July is God awful boring and August is a big tease until the first college football Saturday.

It's on the one night there isnt anything going on. Let it be
Posted

Seems like there is a new Texas themed clothing company popping up on my Instagram every week. I swear half of them have a design that have saguaro cacti in them. Come on y’all. If you are going to be Texas themed, at least get this right. It’s not hard.

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Posted
Seems like there is a new Texas themed clothing company popping up on my Instagram every week. I swear half of them have a design that have saguaro cacti in them. Come on y’all. If you are going to be Texas themed, at least get this right. It’s not hard.


Yup. I saw this on Amazon a while back and it made me irrationally angry.

5dfd2f0bb2145719aa3b69ce8cc18eac.jpg
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Posted
23 hours ago, markstanco said:

Somebody give me the home address of the inventor of blister packs. I want to murder that person later this week.

They’re on vacation at Disney, but will be back next week. 

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Posted

Places that still require documents to be faxed or mailed and give no confirmation said documents are or are not received requiring me to call and ask only to be told said documents were not received. So let's start the process over. Round and round we go.

 

 

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Posted

This person... 

I was talking to our middle school basketball team (I'm a varsity coach), and there were some parents there too.  I quoted John Wooden, and I asked if they knew who he was. 

Parent - "Yeah, he's from Purdue."

Me - "Well.  Yeah, he graduated from Purdue."

Parent - "He was from Martinsville, Indiana."

Me - "OK, yep.... Girls, he was a legendary coach at UCLA and won multiple, multiple, multiple championships in his time there."

 

 

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Posted
21 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

This person... 

I was talking to our middle school basketball team (I'm a varsity coach), and there were some parents there too.  I quoted John Wooden, and I asked if they knew who he was. 

 

oh, you mean Nell's husband Johnny?

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Posted

the person at the office who has to inform everyone any time he walks out the door.  going to get lunch, taking a smoke break, or even just using the restroom, has to tell everyone. 

Posted

People who complain about fireworks in the city around the 4th because they: 1) have dogs that get startled by them, 2) have young kids who might wake up because of them. Shanna, you bought your tickets. You knew what you were getting into. 

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Posted (edited)

Sorry, but if your shitfuck kids are shooting fireworks off in a neighborhood at midnight on July 1, I hope one of them loses a finger. Fuck you and your kids. 

Edited by NorthLoop
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Posted

Quickly approaching not trivial status, but my BIL and his family are visiting us up in the mountains. They have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. The 2 year old likes all the flowers that are planted everywhere in town and in the resort. So BILs wife picks the flowers out of beds and containers and gives them to the 2 year old. We have asked her twice not to do it, and her response the second time was that (despite the stay out of the flowers signs everywhere), if they didn't want her to do it, they would ask her not to. Bitch, we've already said it twice. It might get ugly if she does it again.

 

 

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