Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[PvilleStang 2810]

9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

White Buick and white panel van beg to differ. 

Oh, and somewhere in there is the Mexican Tour Bus that rides the entire trip to Dallas in the left lane of 35.

[deadshank 24645]

Diesel pump auto-shutt off set at $65.00 when you need at least $75.00 to fill up.  What’s the point?

I tried to ask  the station attendant but I don’t speak Senegalese and she didn’t speak English too well.   She was nice and gave me a smile and a shrug.  

 

[52-80 19000]

10 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Diesel pump auto-shutt off set at $65.00 when you need at least $75.00 to fill up.  What’s the point?

I tried to ask  the station attendant but I don’t speak Senegalese and she didn’t speak English too well.   She was nice and gave me a smile and a shrug.  

 

vooley voo franshay

[TornACL 7654]

Hey for all the people who get stabby about check writers at the grocery store, I had a new one this week.

Old lady in front of me in line at the checkout. She has all her groceries on the conveyer belt, and then she's standing in front of the empty half of the belt (where I would put my shit). But I can't, because she's standing there, and she has her gigantic purse sitting on the open area of the belt, and she's digging through said purse and pulling shit out and dumping it all over the place, looking for her....

Check book.

God damnit.

But then, I see that she's pulling out a debit card. Ok....Maybe this is going to be ok. Alas, no. She runs the debit card, and then when she gets the total and is handed the receipt, she actually uses the goddamn motherfucking check register and is "balancing her checkbook". The checkout lady actually had to tell her to get a move on, which of course appalled that old worthless bag of crap.

Edited May 4, 2018 by TornACL

[deadshank 24645]

50 minutes ago, TornACL said:

Hey for all the people who get stabby about check writers at the grocery store, I had a new one this week.

Old lady in front of me in line at the checkout. She has all her groceries on the conveyer belt, and then she's standing in front of the empty half of the belt (where I would put my shit). But I can't, because she's standing there, and she has her gigantic purse sitting on the open area of the belt, and she's digging through said purse and pulling shit out and dumping it all over the place, looking for her....

Check book.

God damnit.

But then, I see that she's pulling out a debit card. Ok....Maybe this is going to be ok. Alas, no. She runs the debit card, and then when she gets the total and is handed the receipt, she actually uses the goddamn motherfucking check register and is "balancing her checkbook". The checkout lady actually had to tell her to get a move on, which of course appalled that old worthless bag of crap.

So the checkout woman did your work for you?  Lazy ass.

[TornACL 7654]

Hey man, she gets paid to be in that store. I don't. Also you're right, I'm very lazy.

[Vic Mackey 46716]

People that share "May the 4th Be With You" every single year. Fuck off.

As well as sharing the Justin Timberlake pic for "It's Gonna Be May". Fuck off as well.

[NastyDreams 11]

Being in the grocery store isle on the first of the month, surrounded by carts loaded like a midnight stocker's.  

[PvilleStang 2810]

Had one the other day where a lady gets in the 15 item lane, gets some exotic fucking fruits that require 2 separate price checks, then asks for some specialty smokes that aren't in the case on that checkout stand, rather they're up front.  Then the old fuck pulls out the checkbook to pay for it.  Express lane my ass...

[TornACL 7654]

3 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Had one the other day where a lady gets in the 15 item lane, gets some exotic fucking fruits that require 2 separate price checks, then asks for some specialty smokes that aren't in the case on that checkout stand, rather they're up front.  Then the old fuck pulls out the checkbook to pay for it.  Express lane my ass...

As one who has bought my fair share of cigarettes, it's a total dickhead move to not buy them from a lane where the cigs are stocked. Usually out of 15 lanes at HEB there's only 1 or 2 that are cigarette lanes. It's very easy to spot them. I don't understand why it's so fucking hard for people to pay attention to the world around them.

[Celery Man 20607]

People who are all woke about Cinco de Mayo not being a real holiday.  Look, fuck off.  Stay in.  Nobody gives a shit.  If people want to drink Dos Equis and do tequila shots and fuck it wear a sombrero, fuck you for being the awareness police.  Replace the stick with a cactus.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

People that share "May the 4th Be With You" every single year. Fuck off.
As well as sharing the Justin Timberlake pic for "It's Gonna Be May". Fuck off as well.

The best early May meme has always been.

“Hooray hooray! The first of May. Outdoor fucking starts today!”

[kevwun 15336]

A few weeks ago the lady in front of me is putting the stuff in her basket on the conveyor.  Then a friend or relative walks up with another cart and pushes past me like I don't exist to start putting some stuff in her cart.  Then they have a lengthy discussion about who was buying what.  I was so amazed watching it happen that I didn't even get pissed.  That they thought what they were doing was in any way acceptable blew my mind.  We had been in line for awhile, so this wasn't a case of someone running to get something they forgot.  They just decided to re-arrange the contents of their baskets while one of them was in the process of checking out.

Edited May 4, 2018 by kevwun

[Moby Ric 2058]

Fucking savages that buy their cigarettes in line at HEB.  

[Guest]

22 hours ago, NastyDreams said:

Being in the grocery store isle on the first of the month, surrounded by carts loaded like a midnight stocker's.  

[elfenix 34123]

People who recline their seat before the door is closed. Only trivial because it's not my bull getting gored. I'm fucked if we catch fire, though.

 

Edit: the universe has a sense of humor, apparently my seat was reclined a bit when I got here

Edited May 5, 2018 by elfenix

[NeverMarryAStripper 21765]

On May 4, 2018 at 1:19 PM, TornACL said:

As one who has bought my fair share of cigarettes, it's a total dickhead move to not buy them from a lane where the cigs are stocked. Usually out of 15 lanes at HEB there's only 1 or 2 that are cigarette lanes. It's very easy to spot them. I don't understand why it's so fucking hard for people to pay attention to the world around them.

Why should I have to wait in line behind someone trying to kill themselves?

Edited May 5, 2018 by NeverMarryAStripper

[TexasTroll 454]

I’m surly cuz there is no countdown clock to the Maryland game.

how the heck will I know how many days, hours, min, and seconds before it starts???

[skipperj 377]

Simple math.

[Sandman 3399]

People that list a car for sale on Facebook or craigslist but they list it by the down payment instead of the full price. So when I'm looking for an old project for under $3000, I get late model cars/trucks on the list for $2500 but that's the down payment. Fuck you assholes.

[Landomatic 3813]

On 4/30/2018 at 9:03 PM, Celery Man said:

Speaking of grocery shopping and trivial shit - when your stuff piles up at the end of the conveyer belt in the bagging area, and the belt keeps running.

Opposite is also true.  When the cashier is yapping with whoever is checking out in front of me and neglecting to advance the belt forward leaving no room for me to start putting my shit on there.  I mean, I’m standing here with my thumb up my ass doing nothing when I could be loading the belt but you’re too busy talking to keep things moving.  I know multi-tasking is probably above your pay grade, but how about moving the belt forward while running your mouth?

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Sandman said:

People that list a car for sale on Facebook or craigslist but they list it by the down payment instead of the full price. So when I'm looking for an old project for under $3000, I get late model cars/trucks on the list for $2500 but that's the down payment. Fuck you assholes.

I agree with your point.

Is it more concerning that people personally finance vehicle purchases done through FB?

[Fudge Nuggets 18995]

18 hours ago, elfenix said:

People who recline their seat before the door is closed. Only trivial because it's not my bull getting gored. I'm fucked if we catch fire, though.

 

Edit: the universe has a sense of humor, apparently my seat was reclined a bit when I got here

What in the hell are you talking about?

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

What in the hell are you talking about?

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. My chair is too low.

[Upgrayedd 5777]

On 4/30/2018 at 7:03 PM, Celery Man said:

Speaking of grocery shopping and trivial shit - when your stuff piles up at the end of the conveyer belt in the bagging area, and the belt keeps running.

Baggers that don’t bag my items in the order I send them down the belt.  Hey dipshit, notice a pattern that all the freezer, refrigerator, can goods, and vegetables are grouped together?  It’s by design.

[elfenix 34123]

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

What in the hell are you talking about?

airplanes

[Okie State 3708]

When a restaurant visit is extended by 50%+ for no other reason than waiting for my order to be taken and later the check to be brought/cashed out. Meanwhile my normally well behaved kids start to get restless because we've been sitting at a table for over an hour for a simple lunch.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Baggers that don’t bag my items in the order I send them down the belt.  Hey dipshit, notice a pattern that all the freezer, refrigerator, can goods, and vegetables are grouped together?  It’s by design.

Im not too particular about this, but even I’ve noticed a major decline in recent years.

Deli meat, raw pork, asparagus, jar of pickles - what the hell?
Butter, chips, chicken thighs, deodorant, bleach - oh common! At least try!

[Prepuce of Doom 20906]

3 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Baggers that don’t bag my items in the order I send them down the belt.  Hey dipshit, notice a pattern that all the freezer, refrigerator, can goods, and vegetables are grouped together?  It’s by design.

As a former Courtesy Clerk myself, this also annoys me. 

However, a great majority of the baggers that fuck this up seem to have such limited cognitive abilities that I don't believe they're necessarily capable of detecting a pattern of similar items. It's good for those folks to have jobs, but I wish that it didn't come at the expense of smashed bread/chips/eggs and toxic cleaning products mixed in with the fresh produce....

[Johnny Sack 8397]

I bagged groceries from age 13 to high school graduation.  It is not hard.

[BayouBill 834]

Username checks out like a motherfucker

[Judge Roybeanbag 11730]

Loose conference room chairs.  Sit down and have that momentary feeling you’re gonna flip over backwards. 

[AUinHsv 570]

On 5/5/2018 at 4:25 PM, elfenix said:

People who recline their seat before the door is closed. Only trivial because it's not my bull getting gored. I'm fucked if we catch fire, though.

 

Edit: the universe has a sense of humor, apparently my seat was reclined a bit when I got here

People who use my seatback as a pull up bar to get in and out of their seat.... If you can't get into a seat without hanging your entire body off of mine than start working out

Edited May 7, 2018 by AUinHsv

['stache 21589]

On 5/3/2018 at 9:45 PM, SuperSurly said:

I'm surly because there's no NSAA on surlyhorns

 

[deadshank 24645]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Loose conference room chairs.  Sit down and have that momentary feeling you’re gonna flip over backwards. 

*backward

[Judge Roybeanbag 11730]

Noted.  

[deadshank 24645]

1 minute ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Noted.  

Noteds.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11730]

Sideway?  

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

2 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Sideway?  

[Judge Roybeanbag 11730]

Hey hey hey no need for nightmare fuel.  

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

People who leave a trail, or a trace of their presence.  I'm not talking murder stuff.  But a mess/crumbs at your table setting, food on your plate, your clothes (insert wife joke here... it applies) laying everywhere, towels on the floor, shit on the counters.  I could go on.

When I'm done with something, I feel it is embarrassing to leave a trail.  I wipe up crumbs (if any), I clean any excess food in trash and rinse plate to put in dishwasher (properly).  I take my clothes off every day and either put back away if not dirty, or put in hamper if dirty.  Only clothes I will leave out are my shorts on the pillow for bed.  Done with towel?  Gets hung up.

Untidy people are the lowest of the low.

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

[High Plains Drifter 10937]

On 5/4/2018 at 3:08 PM, Celery Man said:

People who are all woke about Cinco de Mayo not being a real holiday.  Look, fuck off.  Stay in.  Nobody gives a shit.  If people want to drink Dos Equis and do tequila shots and fuck it wear a sombrero, fuck you for being the awareness police.  Replace the stick with a cactus.

People who use the term "woke".

 

 

[Biff Tannen 45209]

2 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

People who leave a trail, or a trace of their presence.  I'm not talking murder stuff.  But a mess/crumbs at your table setting, food on your plate, your clothes (insert wife joke here... it applies) laying everywhere, towels on the floor, shit on the counters.  I could go on.

When I'm done with something, I feel it is embarrassing to leave a trail.  I wipe up crumbs (if any), I clean any excess food in trash and rinse plate to put in dishwasher (properly).  I take my clothes off every day and either put back away if not dirty, or put in hamper if dirty.  Only clothes I will leave out are my shorts on the pillow for bed.  Done with towel?  Gets hung up.

Untidy people are the lowest of the low.

How's the laundry going?

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

38 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

How's the laundry going?

Same.  But I'm 3 years sober now, so at least I'M a better individual. 

[DaysOff 7698]

There's a reoccurring theme on this thread that makes me think some of you aren't using HEB curbside pickup.

[TornACL 7654]

On 5/5/2018 at 4:50 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Why should I have to wait in line behind someone trying to kill themselves?

Have you looked at what most people put on the conveyer belt? They're trying to kill themselves, too, only with Cokes and Twinkies instead of cancer sticks. 

[Ldogg53 514]

When you take a crap in the dark so you won't wake the wife, and you can't find the starting point on a new roll of toilet paper.

Why not just use the flashlight function on your phone? And if you didn’t take your phone in then my next question is, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[52-80 19000]

Microsoft wireless keyboard... with the separate number pad... ran out of battery.

 

It takes a CR2430 coincell.  Not the ubiquitous 2320... but 2430.  About the same dimensions and capacity... so why in the fuckity fuck does it use this fucking stupid fuck size and format ? who the fuck has 2430 around

['stache 21589]

Have you looked at what most people put on the conveyer belt? They're trying to kill themselves, too, only with Cokes and Twinkies instead of cancer sticks. 

 

Not so trivial but we’re fine taxing the shit out of booze and cigs, but even hint at a soda or sugar tax and people lose their shit, even though that’s the shit that’s killing us and helping our healthcare costs skyrocket.