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I’ll start doing self checkout when the store starts paying me minimum wage for the time I spend doing it. First they took our full serve gas stations and we did nothing, now they’re taking our incompetent minimum wage checkers and we are doing nothing. What’s next, they take our valet parking attendants and make us park our own cars?

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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4 minutes ago, RPM said:

Self checkout is automation taking human jobs.

 

Just like ATMs and masturbation, right?  How many people do you know who have applied for a job at a grocery store/ WM and gotten turned down, who are otherwise viable candidates?

They are hiring like a motherfucker...and have been, even since the advent of the self-checkout.  For one, the curbside motherfuckers are all through the stores picking people's shopping lists for them... but let's focus on self check-out because it's so fucking scary.

 

LOLZ>  

15 minutes ago, Iceman said:

Just like masturbation, right?

Won't we think of the Rub and Tugs? Don't Make America 'Bate Again!

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’ll start doing self checkout when the store starts paying me minimum wage for the time I spend doing it. 

Just ring up your organic broccoli as regular broccoli. 

10 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Just ring up your organic broccoli as regular broccoli. 

Yeah, are we not supposed to be doing that?  Because I do that.  Only time they come over to check on things is when you're buying wine/beer.  

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Won't we think of the Rub and Tugs? Don't Make America 'Bate Again!

And the hand cream, and toilet paper industry...  "Mastrubation creating jobs one sploosh at a time....."

3 hours ago, Iceman said:

For one, the curbside motherfuckers are all through the stores picking people's shopping lists for them... but let's focus on self check-out because it's so fucking scary.

Those store pickers push their carts through the store like madmen running over the real shoppers and further clogging up our store.  I hope all you fuckers that are too lazy to do your own shopping enjoy the meat the picker selected that has an expiration date of tomorrow and all your half wilted produce that the store needs to get rid of.  I can't wait for the apocalypse to get here.  I'll be enjoying my attic full of freeze dried emergency food buckets with a shelf life of 25 years while you fuckers are starving to death because you can't call HEB to deliver your food.

25 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Those store pickers push their carts through the store like madmen running over the real shoppers and further clogging up our store. 

I see the opposite. They just camp in the middle of the aisle and block shit up.

People walking across poorly lit cross walks at night wearing dark clothes, dark shoes and a dark hat.  Especially people with dark skin.  They may have the right of way, but they'll still be dead or severely injured when someone (sober or not) doesn't see them.  Either wear light colors or something reflective if you have to walk around at night.  I came across two different people last night who were on the median about to cross the street when I barely saw them as I was making a left turn.  I didn't come close to hitting them, thankfully, but if someone was just a little behind me they could easily have run them over as they were making a left turn.  This is probably not trivial.

So only white people should be out walking at night?  Seems a little racist, but I'll allow it.

Waco HEB stores were some of the first iirc to have the self checkout lanes. Then HEB decided they were inefficient and did away with them. Then they brought them back. I used 'em a lot the first time around. Now? Not so much. They've got people there doing jack shit but watching me check out. I'll just stand in a line and let the hired help bag my stuff. Might even let 'em push my cart to the car.

Took me fucking 2 hours to go to the Bunker Hill HEB today.  And fuck you bitch, if you don’t want me staring at your ass quit going to Pilates and Zumba classes and wearing yoga pants to HEB.  Also, fuck you because in 10 years I’ll probably be putting one dollar bills in your daughter’s G string.
That's a nice fucking HEB though.
23 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Took me fucking 2 hours to go to the Bunker Hill HEB today.  And fuck you bitch, if you don’t want me staring at your ass quit going to Pilates and Zumba classes and wearing yoga pants to HEB.  Also, fuck you because in 10 years I’ll probably be putting one dollar bills in your daughter’s G string.

Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes...

2 hours ago, PilotsError said:

So only white people should be out walking at night?  Seems a little racist, but I'll allow it.

Didn''t work out too well for old Orsen Bean in LA Saturday night.

I believe they did him a favor, 91 is long enough. 

Finally got to stick his elbow in his ear.

3 hours ago, Underdog said:

I believe they did him a favor, 91 is long enough. 

Not to the 91 year old maybe...

Edited by Onboard 2.0

Forgetting the annoying trivial shit while driving when I get home to post on Surly.

On 2/7/2020 at 8:35 PM, ernest_t_bass said:

Bluetooth automatically turning on on my iPhone.  

Or my iPhone turning on my Bluetooth.  I turn it off because I want it off.  If I want it on, dammit, I'll turn it on.

On 10/10/2019 at 12:21 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Fuck I hate DP

Hurts your butt huh?

On 10/23/2019 at 7:59 PM, Nolacycling said:

The stupid,ugly trucks are the ones with a full back seat and short bed. 

Don't make me cut a bitch up in here....

On 1/22/2020 at 1:03 PM, HRSchenker said:

How many of you who are preaching about looking good/professional/whatever are also disturbed by people wearing hats indoors?

Even as a construction supervisor I try to appear somewhat professional (for a construction worker).  Starched and ironed jeans and Carhartt shirt.  I have long hair and a beard, and both are well kempt.....and yep, the Resistol comes off indoors.

Edited by SHOOTER12

On 1/23/2020 at 6:45 AM, Iceman said:

I am middle of the road-ish on professional appearance.  That being said,  take the hat/ cap/ toboggan off indoors.

Sorry, your manners ain't worth toleratin' if you don't.[/Woodrow Call voice]

I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.”

Sunday is the absolute worst day to go to HEB.

Saturday morning is the best.

And I never use self checkout. Too many idiots trying to use it.

self checkout is 100% more efficient and faster than standing in a line of people writing checks, using coupons, arguing prices, or just talking about their lives with the cashier.

People writing checks. Occasions on which I’m expected/required to write a check. What is this? 1985?

20 hours ago, PilotsError said:

So only white people should be out walking at night?  Seems a little racist, but I'll allow it.

Only if they're easily visible- maybe in white robes and carrying something that's burning?

2 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Only if they're easily visible- maybe in white robes and carrying something that's burning?

Now that's a great ide........ waaaaaait a minute....

The Fresh start initiative.

sweet mother of god do I loathe those tax commercials. 
pay your taxes like the rest of us Wesley snipes.

16 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

The Fresh start initiative.

sweet mother of god do I loathe those tax commercials. 
pay your taxes like the rest of us Wesley snipes.

Along those same lines: Any commercial that starts with YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO...

  • Author

and the car warranty one

"due to the decline in the US economy, fukustomers is offering warranties to car owners blah blah"

 

4 hours ago, Llogg said:

self checkout is 100% more efficient and faster than standing in a line of people writing checks, using coupons, arguing prices, or just talking about their lives with the cashier.

There's a Lowe's 4 miles from my homestead. I go to the Home Depot 11 miles away. Why? Because the Lowe's in BFE does not have a self-checkout. And the clerks they have manning the traditional checkouts are people who would not be able to use a self- checkout if they saw one. Their only advantage over Home Depot is that they have a really good cafe two blocks away from them. 

5 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Sunday is the absolute worst day to go to HEB.

Saturday morning is the best.

And I never use self checkout. Too many idiots trying to use it.

Negative. Sunday morning, daybreak, is the best weekend time to hit the HEB. Saturday mornings early and the stockers are still clogging the aisles but on Sunday thru some miracle the shelves are stocked overnight and the place is pretty deserted.

  • Author

Just have to beat the churchy types (not including 8 am mass goers)

The HEB I go to is twice as crowded on Sunday morning than it is on Saturday plus you cannot buy beer until noon.

1 hour ago, Steamboat1874 said:

The HEB I go to is twice as crowded on Sunday morning than it is on Saturday plus you cannot buy beer until noon.

If you need to buy beer on Sunday morning, your planning sucks.

  • Author

google sheets did some sort of update a couple months ago and now moving to the next cell using arrow keys or tab sometimes inserts a carriage return into the cell.  annoying.

Edited by elfenix

When there's an obvious single line servicing multiple self checkout stations, and some clueless sack-lick walks up to stand at an individual checkout station as if he/she is going to wait in line there. This isn't Vietnam, there are rules. Get in the single line and go to the first station that becomes available, genius.

23 hours ago, Underdog said:

I believe they did him a favor, 91 is long enough. 

That’s what my Dad said.

His last word was “shit”.

7 hours ago, nnm said:

People writing checks. Occasions on which I’m expected/required to write a check. What is this? 1985?

Even we have not done that in years.... except to pay taxes.

  • Author

the boomer in the next office who keeps surfing questionable sites late in the afternoon setting off plenty of those browser-scam things about his computer being infected with an alarm and a voice saying that microsoft has detected malware and he needs to call the scammers to clean his system. 

If you need to buy beer on Sunday morning, your planning sucks.
Need's got nothing to do with it.
4 minutes ago, Paco said:
2 hours ago, RPM said:
If you need to buy beer on Sunday morning, your planning sucks.

Need's got nothing to do with it.

Oh sir, you touch my heart.....

4 hours ago, smuggs said:

When there's an obvious single line servicing multiple self checkout stations, and some clueless sack-lick walks up to stand at an individual checkout station as if he/she is going to wait in line there. This isn't Vietnam, there are rules. Get in the single line and go to the first station that becomes available, genius.

NOT trivial

3 hours ago, Armybrat said:

That’s what my Dad said.

His last word was “shit”.

My Dad's last words were "Careful, Boy. That thing's loaded."

Those store pickers push their carts through the store like madmen running over the real shoppers and further clogging up our store.  I hope all you fuckers that are too lazy to do your own shopping enjoy the meat the picker selected that has an expiration date of tomorrow and all your half wilted produce that the store needs to get rid of.  I can't wait for the apocalypse to get here.  I'll be enjoying my attic full of freeze dried emergency food buckets with a shelf life of 25 years while you fuckers are starving to death because you can't call HEB to deliver your food.

Whynotboth.gif

Even we have not done that in years.... except to pay taxes.

I hope to write one last check (not that we do anymore) to Uncle Sam when I pass. May that fucker bounce!
2 hours ago, RPM said:

My Dad's last words were "Careful, Boy. That thing's loaded."

"Either that wallpaper goes or I do."

  • Author

people who get mad at me when i merge at the merge point. 

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