Jump to content

Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 46309

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/12/2020 at 8:56 AM, HRSchenker said:

Maybe I've worked with women way too long but if I send someone an email and they begin their response with "Hi [first name]!" I get incredibly pissed. That's what women do when they want to be condescending and arrogant but can't let their bitchy voice do all of the heavy lifting.

How would you prefer one responds to emails?  Dear sir?  Salutations?  Ahoy hoy?

Edited by Biff Tannen
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 19.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

nnm
nnm
NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm

Posted Images

deadshank

deadshank 24654

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

I know it has been covered....but fuck any asshole who uses a speaker in public instead of headphones.  WTF.  No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.  Get the China Virus and DIAF

Ha.  Husband and wife neighbors biking past my house just this past Tuesday had Marilyn Manson The Beautiful People blaring on some portable speaker.  I was LOUD.

WTF??

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
elfenix

elfenix 34835

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

the increasing number of names for small, easy to peel citrus.  mandarin wasn't cute enough so they went with clementine, which also wasn't cute enough so they came up with cuties, then halos when the two companies that used the cuties brand split, and now everyone has their own goddamn brand name for a sack of mandarins. 

 

 

(and before you @me, i know that mandarin is one of the original citrus, clementine is a hybrid of a mandarin and another citrus, and there's several other hybrids that are also sold as mandarins or clementines depending on the season and orchard, which only a botanist would care about because they're all pretty much the same culinarily)

Edited by elfenix
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19516

Posted
Posted
On 4/17/2020 at 5:22 PM, elfenix said:

the increasing number of names for small, easy to peel citrus.  mandarin wasn't cute enough so they went with clementine, which also wasn't cute enough so they came up with cuties, then halos when the two companies that used the cuties brand split, and now everyone has their own goddamn brand name for a sack of mandarins. 

 

 

(and before you @me, i know that mandarin is one of the original citrus, clementine is a hybrid of a mandarin and another citrus, and there's several other hybrids that are also sold as mandarins or clementines depending on the season and orchard, which only a botanist would care about because they're all pretty much the same culinarily)

I thought it was just different company names like Sunkist, Dole, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

is anyone else just nauseated by the preface "in these trying times" "in this time of covid" "in times such as these"

 

motherfucker unless you live under a rock on the surface of mars, errbody knows what time it is

Of course we do ..it's hammer ti... no wait it's 1999... no wait that isn't it either...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Trey3216

Trey3216 15462

Posted
Posted
On 4/16/2020 at 2:30 PM, ChickenSandwich said:

I know it has been covered....but fuck any asshole who uses a speaker in public instead of headphones.  WTF.  No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.  Get the China Virus and DIAF

Too much to FIFY, but it’s even worse when you’re walking through the grocery and some fuckface is talking on their speaker phone with their mom or some shit, all loud and obnoxious and not paying attention to where they’re going 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 38155

Posted
Posted

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
retsevlys

retsevlys 408

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, nnm said:

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000Z5E4IE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I put these up to get rid of them.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21337

Posted
Posted (edited)

When you've got one of those rock-hard and semi-jagged BB shaped boogers at the top of your nostril, and instead of coming out quickly and quietly, it retreats into that little secret trapdoor that feels like a direct connection into the depths of your brain and then makes you fight like you're reeling in a fucking marlin. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4423

Posted
Posted
On 4/20/2020 at 11:44 AM, nnm said:

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

Spray some bleach on those areas before the start to nest.

They will not come after that.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alex Karev

Alex Karev 1071

Posted
Posted
On 4/20/2020 at 11:44 AM, nnm said:

Freaking barn swallows nesting in the overhang at my entryway. Stupid birds are protected and sure as I sit here my neighbors will turn me in if they see me plunking one. So I have to power wash down the nesting site 2-3X/day to keep them from establishing. 

Paint the porch ceiling sky blue and they won't come back. They think it is open sky. We did it and it worked for us. We first hung the plastic owls and they built nest on the Owls head. I kid you not.

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
deadshank

deadshank 24654

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Alex Karev said:

Paint the porch ceiling sky blue and they won't come back. They think it is open sky. We did it and it worked for us. We first hung the plastic owls and they built nest on the Owls head. I kid you not.

 

Haint blue.  My front porch is the same way.  No mud daubers, no bugs, all clean all the time.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
deadshank

deadshank 24654

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Lat22 said:

Those little yellow stickmen holding the orange flag does not give you and your bike riding kids the right to take over the entire street while I'm trying to drive on it.

They're tortoises, you dummy.

And you have two of them on opposing sides of your street.  I laugh at them everytime I walk my dogs down your street in the morning.

Gonna relocate them to your driveway while your hugging your pillow.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lat22

Lat22 4110

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, deadshank said:

They're tortoises, you dummy.

And you have two of them on opposing sides of your street.  I laugh at them everytime I walk my dogs down your street in the morning.

Gonna relocate them to your driveway while your hugging your pillow.

You've never noticed the green laser dot have you?

I just drove down the street and two of the three stick men are laying on their sides. 

Edited by Lat22
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Paper_jam

Paper_jam 858

Posted
Posted

Why the fuck doesn't anyone seem to make a really lightweight, low-impact, no-BS free antivirus program. Over the years I've been through AVG, Bitdefender, and now Kaspersky Free and they inevitably decide that their shit needs a bunch of extra modules and "features" I don't want, and past a certain point you're forced to accept it because they won't release virus database updates unless you update the core application to the bloated version.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28965

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

Why the fuck doesn't anyone seem to make a really lightweight, low-impact, no-BS free antivirus program. Over the years I've been through AVG, Bitdefender, and now Kaspersky Free and they inevitably decide that their shit needs a bunch of extra modules and "features" I don't want, and past a certain point you're forced to accept it because they won't release virus database updates unless you update the core application to the bloated version.

 

Have you tried Malwarebytes?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 46309

Posted
Posted
On 4/20/2020 at 6:54 AM, Trey3216 said:

Too much to FIFY, but it’s even worse when you’re walking through the grocery and some fuckface is talking on their speaker phone with their mom or some shit, all loud and obnoxious and not paying attention to where they’re going 

You've met my wife?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
elfenix

elfenix 34835

Posted
  • Author
Posted

when you've already watched one several minute long ad on youtube because they've got to make money somehow and it queues up another right behind it.  fuck that.  i already sat through motley fool trying to sell me an electric car pyramid scheme, i don't need your fucking douchebag jumprope too

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
luke duke

luke duke 6470

Posted
Posted
Have you tried Malwarebytes?


This is the correct answer. Once I enabled Windows Defender and put Malwarebytes on my parents’ computer, they’ve managed not to fuck it up for the past several years.

Before that I would have to wipe their hard drive once or twice a year because it was unusable with all the malware. They’re olds that click on every link they are sent.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...