Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[El Diablo 4232]

Audio books with shitty readers. It's a third option in the book vs movie argument. 

[Parliament 14643]

99 times out of a hundred the book is better.  Exceptions:
Deliverance.
The old man and the sea

Last of the Mohicans
Forest Gump

[Ignatius 4152]

8 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It's almost as if trying to condense 3,000 pages of character development into a 1:45 film takes something away from it. Shocking, I know.

People always overlook this; Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me don’t lose much if anything when translated to film, but they were like 130 page stories..

[nnm 38078]

9 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

99 times out of a hundred the book is better.  Exceptions:

Deliverance.

The old man and the sea

Apocalypse Now >>>>>>>>>>>> Heart of Darkness

[El Diablo 4232]

2 hours ago, nnm said:

Apocalypse Now >>>>>>>>>>>> Heart of Darkness

Conrad is a wordy motherfucker, I'll say that for him. Not in a bad way really but gotdamn he does love him some words.

[Prepuce of Doom 21311]

57 minutes ago, nnm said:

Apocalypse Now >>>>>>>>>>>> Heart of Darkness

I agree with your relative rankings, but I thought Heart of Darkness was a good read, and probably one of the few instances when it's better to see the movie first. 

[elfenix 34821]

10 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Comic books are books. 

[Horn Draoi 258]

12 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

99 times out of a hundred the book is better.  Exceptions:

Deliverance.

The old man and the sea

Horseshit. Deliverance is quite possibly THE Great American Novel. The Old Man and the Sea won both the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Read ‘em again, man!

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

6 minutes ago, Horn Draoi said:

Horseshit. Deliverance is quite possibly THE Great American Novel. The Old Man and the Sea won both the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Read ‘em again, man!

I have, and the movies capture the feeling, and themes in a more visceral way than the books, especially Deliverance (IMO).  

Pssst the great American novel is The Great Gatsby of course.

[ztejas 44324]

21 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I have, and the movies capture the feeling, and themes in a more visceral way than the books, especially Deliverance (IMO).  

Pssst the great American novel is The Great Gatsby of course.

I thought it was To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Written by Kurt Cobain, of course. 

[Superhero 9062]

You know what really grinds my gears?

How most "fitted" bed sheets are now made for mattresses > 15" thick deep.  Now I have to use bedsheet grippers to keep the sheet taut. It's a collusion between the bedsheet makers and the bedsheet grippers I tell you. 

 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Superhero said:

You know what really grinds my gears?

How most "fitted" bed sheets are now made for mattresses > 15" thick deep.  Now I have to use bedsheet grippers to keep the sheet taut. It's a collusion between the bedsheet makers and the bedsheet grippers I tell you. 

 

so you make your wife/ SO hold the sheets down?

[52-80 19381]

6 hours ago, Superhero said:

You know what really grinds my gears?

How most "fitted" bed sheets are now made for mattresses > 15" thick deep.  Now I have to use bedsheet grippers to keep the sheet taut. It's a collusion between the bedsheet makers and the bedsheet grippers I tell you. 

 

bro upgrade your tatami mats

[Fudge Nuggets 19491]

On 9/19/2020 at 7:27 AM, Knoxtnhorn said:

Not only that, but the slate of games this week... ugh.

You weren't lying about that.  I turned on the TV Saturday afternoon, scanned the listings for about 30 seconds and said fuck it, turned it off.

[Fudge Nuggets 19491]

On 9/20/2020 at 10:50 AM, Brisketexan said:

Wait....you drink two POTS of coffee a day?

Dude....that’s an insane amount of caffeine.

Shit, when I got up to 4-5 cups a day, I realized it was a bit much, dialed it back to 2-4 cups. Maybe try mixing in some water?

 

[High Plains Drifter 11195]

 

I might have already posted this, but it happened again at lunch-- when the cashier hands you your change with the coins stacked on top of the bills so that you have to grab it all at once. Is it really that hard to hand me the coins first, let me drop those in my pocket, and then hand me the bills so I can put those in my money clip?

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

 

Or, in the new days of covid, slide it across the counter and let me pick it up so I don't accidentally touch your filthy hand.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22358]

8 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

That would require the ability to count

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

36 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I might have already posted this, but it happened again at lunch-- when the cashier hands you your change with the coins stacked on top of the bills so that you have to grab it all at once. Is it really that hard to hand me the coins first, let me drop those in my pocket, and then hand me the bills so I can put those in my money clip?

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

 

Or, in the new days of covid, slide it across the counter and let me pick it up so I don't accidentally touch your filthy hand.

Bills, change, and the receipt all in one sloppy pile.  Pisses me off to the point of triviality, and that's annoying...

[Guest]

Surly high rollers don't even expect the change...

[Prepuce of Doom 21311]

20 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Bills, change, and the receipt all in one sloppy pile.  Pisses me off to the point of triviality, and that's annoying...

If the person in line behind you seems like an asshole anyway, just stand at the register and take your time putting all your shit where it goes. Maybe they'll eventually get the hint if enough people do this... 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

If the person in line behind you seems like an asshole anyway, just stand at the register and take your time putting all your shit where it goes. Maybe they'll eventually get the hint if enough people do this... 

Yeah, I hear ya. I just never want to add to the clusterfuck if at all possible.

[DallasHorn26 589]

There is horrible cell reception in my office and no wi-fi available. Makes it very difficult to browse surly from the shitter.

[nnm 38078]

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I might have already posted this, but it happened again at lunch-- when the cashier hands you your change with the coins stacked on top of the bills so that you have to grab it all at once. Is it really that hard to hand me the coins first, let me drop those in my pocket, and then hand me the bills so I can put those in my money clip?

Or even better, count that shit back to me.

 

Or, in the new days of covid, slide it across the counter and let me pick it up so I don't accidentally touch your filthy hand.

You're using cash?  You poor luddite.

[Cheeseweasel 26443]

11 minutes ago, DallasHorn26 said:

There is horrible cell reception in my office and no wi-fi available. Makes it very difficult to browse surly from the shitter.

Quit your job

[High Plains Drifter 11195]

1 hour ago, nnm said:

You're using cash?  You poor luddite.

 

strait cash homey

[Horn Draoi 258]

16 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I have, and the movies capture the feeling, and themes in a more visceral way than the books, especially Deliverance (IMO).  

Pssst the great American novel is The Great Gatsby of course.

 

16 hours ago, ztejas said:

I thought it was To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Written by Kurt Cobain, of course. 

All the King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren in second place, ahead of “Gatsby;”  Southern writers just do better.  “Mockingbird” for honorable mention.  Why do I love headcase, alcoholic Southern writers so? (Now avoiding mirrors........)

[Guest Lobo]

Do you even National Coin Shortage, bro?  

[Jerry Callo 9000]

2 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

There is horrible cell reception in my office and no wi-fi available. Makes it very difficult to browse surly from the shitter.

Do you work at a damn prison?  

[Bullneck 19654]

On 9/21/2020 at 10:01 AM, Llogg said:

Coffee mugs that have a handle that becomes their hottest part in the microwave.

If that's the case it might not be microwave safe.

[Deamerxt 51]

Half-ass passers. Wanna get right next to me, then ALMOST pass me for a full fifteen minutes. Fuck you. Get the fuck around me, or get the fuck away from me. Ain't nobody got time for your shit, asshole.

[El Diablo 4232]

My VA doc is a female. I have to ask her to do a prostate check. 

[WhatTheBuck 28958]

4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Do you even National Coin Shortage, bro?  

Kroger does. The self checkout lane is the only place they'll give you coins in change. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22358]

The so called “national coin shortage” was created by the feds as an excuse to eliminate the use of cash. Can’t have the sheep using payment methods that can’t be traced.

[WhatTheBuck 28958]

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The so called “national coin shortage” was created by the feds as an excuse to eliminate the use of cash. Can’t have the sheep using payment methods that can’t be traced.

Wrong. The CIA will always need to use cash. 

[NWBuck 8638]

12 hours ago, Deamerxt said:

Half-ass passers. 

[luke duke 6465]

My VA doc is a female. I have to ask her to do a prostate check. 

How much does she charge? Asking for a friend.

[elfenix 34821]

The closed captioning on prime video is displaying tagalog, even though it is set to english. Must have been hit by a cosmic raydog or some shit.

[52-80 19381]

On 9/23/2020 at 9:04 PM, luke duke said:

 

How much does she charge? Asking for a friend.

3 fingers

[deadshank 24654]

On 9/22/2020 at 5:48 PM, El Diablo said:

My VA doc is a female. I have to ask her to do a prostate check. 

Now This using his alternate handle. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21311]

2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Now This using his alternate handle. 

You can interpret "alternate handle" two different ways in this context. 

[Droopy 2639]

I’m high and want to have the last post on this sub. That makes me Surly. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21311]

Disallowed. 

[Knoxtnhorn 6315]

The zoo.

Wife bought passes this summer.  We've been 5 times.  Same animals.  Same habitats.  Add to that more people and my SIL yapping about fucking macaroons for an hour.  And, no, I did not get autocorrected from macaw or baboons.  She really did talk about the dessert for an hour.  F's sake.

[Superhero 9062]

Not trivial. But I hate open offices with the passion of a hundred suns.

Only select VPs get offices, the remaining VPs, directors and little people sit in open offices.

I get my work done either when I'm working from home, or after 5PM at office after everyone leaves. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22358]

Yeah it’s a lot harder to fuck off when you can’t shut your office door

[Deamerxt 51]

When physics defies itself in order to fuck me over.

I'll give you an example: try to pour liquid gently from one glass into another. Not water, it's too easy to clean up. Use something like gatorade or soda-pop. The more sugar the better. 

Watch as it runs UPHILL along the side of the glass and onto the floor (or counter), making a nice mess that now needs cleaned up.

Fuck you, science. 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Deamerxt

[Prepuce of Doom 21311]

21 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

The zoo.

Wife bought passes this summer.  We've been 5 times.  Same animals.  Same habitats.  Add to that more people and my SIL yapping about fucking macaroons for an hour.  And, no, I did not get autocorrected from macaw or baboons.  She really did talk about the dessert for an hour.  F's sake.

I went to the Knoxville Zoo about a year ago, and I found the people there to be far more fascinating than the animals. It was a riveting menagerie of obesity - all manner of exotic and rare varieties of Morbos collected in one location was definitely worth the price of admission. There is a tremendous biodiversity of fatness in east Tennessee. 

And here's a picture of the Doomlet raptly observing the ants in front of the elephant enclosure. 

 

[Knoxtnhorn 6315]

26 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I went to the Knoxville Zoo about a year ago, and I found the people there to be far more fascinating than the animals. It was a riveting menagerie of obesity - all manner of exotic and rare varieties of Morbos collected in one location was definitely worth the price of admission. There is a tremendous biodiversity of fatness in east Tennessee. 

And here's a picture of the Doomlet raptly observing the ants in front of the elephant enclosure. 

 

Ha!  We had zoo passes when we lived in Knoxville as well.  The nice thing about the Knoxville Zoo is that they have a cool kids area AND a building that has some smaller exhibits and another play area.  It wasn't too bad of a thing to let the two boys run around either place for awhile while the two of us relaxed.  Plus, it was about 5 mins from our house.

My post (above) is in reference to the Dallas Zoo.  I mean, zoos are cool and all.  It' just... 5 trips in about 2 months.  

Edited September 27, 2020 by Knoxtnhorn

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

57 minutes ago, Deamerxt said:

When physics defies itself in order to fuck me over.

I'll give you an example: try to pour liquid gently from one glass into another. Not water, it's too easy to clean up. Use something like gatorade or soda-pop. The more sugar the better. 

Watch as it runs UPHILL along the side of the glass and onto the floor (or counter), making a nice mess that now needs cleaned up.

Fuck you, science. 

My advice, drink less.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2780]

Ha!  We had zoo passes when we lived in Knoxville as well.  The nice thing about the Knoxville Zoo is that they have a cool kids area AND a building that has some smaller exhibits and another play area.  It wasn't too bad of a thing to let the two boys run around either place for awhile while the two of us relaxed.  Plus, it was about 5 mins from our house.
My post (above) is in reference to the Dallas Zoo.  I mean, zoos are cool and all.  It' just... 5 trips in about 2 months.  

Don’t go. I don’t.