Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Celery Man 20934]

9 minutes ago, HouTex said:

New words to describe ancient things that already have a name.  Ghosting=ignoring.

Slang is fun, or a vital part of linguistics, or whatever.

I fucking hate so much all of the stupid fucking acronyms that people feel compelled to make in business/"leadership"/whatever.  Just write the fucking word, it's not a tweet.

[PvilleStang 2875]

12 hours ago, Born Burnt said:

Neighbors who park their cars in front of my house instead of their own, even though no one is parked in front of their house.

 

Can't rep this one enough.  Fucking neighbor kid parks his wrecked POS in front of our house almost daily.  

[PvilleStang 2875]

2 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

I fucking hate so much all of the stupid fucking acronyms that people feel compelled to make in business/"leadership"/whatever.  Just write the fucking word, it's not a tweet.

We have an entire wall in multiple meeting rooms here that are dedicated to acronyms we use in our current project.  I'm talking one acronym explained on an 8.5x11 piece of paper, 10 tall, 15 wide or so.  It's fucking asinine.  

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Driving along and having to stop to let golfers cross the road on a Tuesday at 230 pm

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

7 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Driving along and having to stop to let golfers cross the road on a Tuesday at 230 pm

Payback is when they're on a tee box close to the road, drive slow enough so you can lay on the horn when they are in their backswing.

[elfenix 34230]

Driving along and having to stop to let golfers cross the road on a Tuesday at 230 pm

Run them over a couple-few times, they'll learn.

[Vic Mackey 47019]

Driving along and having to stop to let golfers cross the road on a Tuesday at 230 pm

Getting stuck behind a group of cyclists.

[PvilleStang 2875]

42 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Payback is when they're on a tee box close to the road, drive slow enough so you can lay on the horn when they are in their backswing.

Sorry about that golfball through the back windshield, bro.

42 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

51 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Driving along and having to stop to let golfers cross the road on a Tuesday at 230 pm

Getting stuck behind a group of cyclists.

Can't be said enough.  Fucking cyclists around downtown in rush hour especially need a good bulldozing.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

46 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Payback is when they're on a tee box close to the road, drive slow enough so you can lay on the horn when they are in their backswing.

sooooo tempted to do this.  then theyd shank it and take out my passenger window tho.

[Vic Mackey 47019]

5 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Sorry about that golfball through the back windshield, bro.

Can't be said enough.  Fucking cyclists around downtown in rush hour especially need a good bulldozing.

[clapclapclap 9000]

Those strings used to tie whole chicken legs together and to make a mess when removed.

[Jersey Man10 3528]

When someone asks for recommendations and ends it with

TIA.

I was like wtf does that mean...oh thanks in advance? People are willing to give you recommendations but you can't be bothered to spell it out? Fuck off.

[Jack Straw 2954]

1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

Sorry about that golfball through the back windshield, bro.

Can't be said enough.  Fucking cyclists around downtown in rush hour especially need a good bulldozing.

i don't know why, but every time i see one of those stupid horizontal bikes with the yellow plastic shell that look like a submarine cruising down 360 or wherever, i have an urge to just smash the fuck out of them 

[Dewey 3286]

When someone asks for recommendations and ends it with

TIA.

I was like wtf does that mean...oh thanks in advance? People are willing to give you recommendations but you can't be bothered to spell it out? Fuck off.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

[GopherRock 1765]

Smokers who can't be bothered to go away from the bar entrance, and make everyone walk through their huddle to get in or out. 

[beer 3220]

On 5/12/2018 at 4:45 PM, RDCanecutter said:

The sun coming up in the morning justifies tequila shots. Try this: walk into your breakfast place, and yell "Tenemos otro dia en este mundo, dame un tequilazo!". They say, "Sir, this is McDonalds," but you just keep on yelling what i told you to. Something will happen.

Tequilazo? I get it, just never heard it put that way. 

[beer 3220]

On 5/13/2018 at 8:44 PM, dingleberryswitzer said:

Sounds like you need to chop off his horses head and put it in his freezer. 

Leftover steaming hot ramen cup 

entire 6 pack of warm drinks

opened can of anchovies inside a ziplock bag (dont worry, still works)

 

 

[PilotsError 2287]

People who are at a stop light and keep their vehicle in neutral, even when they know the light is about to turn green.  Put it in first and get ready to go, assholes.  

[Biff Tannen 45673]

37 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

People who are at a stop light and keep their vehicle in neutral, even when they know the light is about to turn green.  Put it in first and get ready to go, assholes.  

a) how would you know this and b) how many people still drive sticks?

[PilotsError 2287]

I'm the passenger.

Most.

[SHOOTER12 8800]

On 5/10/2018 at 7:36 PM, ernest_t_bass said:

Hypothetical:

Imagine having an acquaintance who does not like ground beef.  

However, he/she loves filet mignon.  

You, on the other hand, enjoy and will eat both.  

Every time beef is served, there is one serving of succulent filet, and one serving of ground beef.

You NEVER get the succulent filet because you will eat the ground beef.  Maybe not so bad, but your friend 100% expects to always get the filet, 100% of the time, b/c he/she won't eat the lesser meat.  You are penalized for NOT being a picky person.

Fuck those people hard.  

Grind up the filet and tell them to eat one or the other or fucking starve.

[NorthLoop 14190]

21 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

Most.

Do you live in Cuba? 

[Kennythetiger 9377]

9 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Payback is when they're on a tee box close to the road, drive slow enough so you can lay on the horn when they are in their backswing.

Pos rep.  Or whatever.

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]

Any fuckboi who labels their favorite athlete “thicc.” 

[RPM 26318]

7 hours ago, beer said:

Leftover steaming hot ramen cup 

entire 6 pack of warm drinks

opened can of anchovies inside a ziplock bag (dont worry, still works)

 

 

[TornACL 7698]

22 hours ago, PilotsError said:

People who are at a stop light and keep their vehicle in neutral, even when they know the light is about to turn green.  Put it in first and get ready to go, assholes.  

How many times have you had to replace your clutch?

[Zepol87 9185]

West Texas

[RDCanecutter 26408]

On 5/15/2018 at 12:21 PM, GopherRock said:

Smokers who can't be bothered to go away from the bar entrance, and make everyone walk through their huddle to get in or out. 

Those are hookers, man.

[Landomatic 3813]

On 5/15/2018 at 2:04 PM, PilotsError said:

Most.

You’re either really poor or really rich.

[Landomatic 3813]

Styrofoam.  Fucking hate styrofoam.  Unpacking shit packed in styrofoam and no matter how you go about it, those little clingy fucking white balls get all over and stick to every damn thing in the house and are a bitch to clean up.  Fuck styrofoam.

[RPM 26318]

Worked at a store that was being remodeled and they were putting stucco on the exterior. Use huge sheets of styrofoam and sculpted textures into it. Those f'n little white balls covered at least a square mile of town. We got hundreds of calls from angry homeowners. I've never been so happy when a remodeling project was done.

[d.plainview872 175]

Art. Music. Religion.

[deadshank 24652]

9 hours ago, Landomatic said:

Styrofoam.  Fucking hate styrofoam.  Unpacking shit packed in styrofoam and no matter how you go about it, those little clingy fucking white balls get all over and stick to every damn thing in the house and are a bitch to clean up.  Fuck styrofoam.

Excepting the 20-oz. styro coffee cup

[WhatTheBuck 28776]

8 hours ago, d.plainview872 said:

Art. Music. Religion.

Music is art and I would argue that the aesthetic experience and the religious experience are the same thing. 

Art good. Religion bad. 

[Landomatic 3813]

8 hours ago, d.plainview872 said:

Art. Music. Religion.

Overly artsy people, people who are way too into music and people who are way too religious.  Especially when they suck at art, suck at music or suck at being a good person themselves.

[NorthLoop 14190]

13 minutes ago, Landomatic said:

Overly artsy people, people who are way too into music and people who are way too religious.  Especially when they suck at art, suck at music or suck at being a good person themselves.

I'll add the people who are way too into shit like craft beer or dinner presentation for their wife on a Tuesday. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21061]

The whole "craft beard and craft beer guy" archetype is for the birds. Without these social crutches, those dudes would be entirely devoid of personality. 

[Moby Ric 2058]

Shitty dumbness who is backing out their SUV like they are docking a fucking battleship.  If you can't drive it, don't own it.  You are wasting everyones time in the HEB parking lot.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Art. Music. Religion.

Whose boring, unfunny sock is this? First pussy is overrated, now art and music are trivial and annoying?

[Dewey 3286]

Whose boring, unfunny sock is this? First pussy is overrated, now art and music are trivial and annoying?

Believe that's Hitler's grandson

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[Vic Mackey 47019]

I'll add the people who are way too into shit like craft beer or dinner presentation for their wife on a Tuesday. 

I don't hate craft beer itself just the people who are into it. I want to enjoy a beer and shoot the shit with you. I don't want to hear you explain your beer to me. I don't give a shit. Just drink it and stfu.

[SilasCoade 2622]

Bitches who fuck up the drop off line at school.

Your kids need to be ready to open the door and get out when you stop moving. It ain't the time for a five minute conversation about when Grandma's coming to town or posting some bullshit to Instagram about how adorably they're dressed.

[VinyVango 689]

The moron in a busy coffee shop or food joint who insists upon giving over 10 feet of space to the person in front of him in line when there is a crush of humanity behind him... not sure why, but it bothers the fuck out of me.  It's usually the same schmuck who has been standing in front of a giant menu for 10 minutes and has no idea what he wants to order when he gets to the front of the line.

[rant over]

[Jersey Man10 3528]

To give the dude in front some space?

[Mileslong 4727]

I always call them “push-me-pull-me’s”

People who say “veggies”, especially men who say it.

Auto play videos

TV commercials that have an increase of volume of 175% over show volume

Spam emails

Pop up ads (24/7 mobile website is the worst of all time)

Bad golfers that play from the blue tees

[Prepuce of Doom 21061]

57 minutes ago, VinyVango said:

The moron in a busy coffee shop or food joint who insists upon giving over 10 feet of space to the person in front of him in line when there is a crush of humanity behind him... not sure why, but it bothers the fuck out of me.  It's usually the same schmuck who has been standing in front of a giant menu for 10 minutes and has no idea what he wants to order when he gets to the front of the line.

[rant over]

This same asshole also fucks up drive-thrus and stopping at red lights.

[deadshank 24652]

5 hours ago, VinyVango said:

  It's usually the same schmuck who has been standing in front of a giant menu for 10 minutes and has no idea what he wants to order when he gets to the front of the line.

 

And the first utterance out if his pie hole is, ”uh......”

Edited May 17, 2018 by deadshank

[NeverMarryAStripper 21892]

3 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The whole "craft beard and craft beer guy" archetype is for the birds. Without these social crutches, those dudes would be entirely devoid of personality. 

Anything with craft in front of it sucks balls

[52-80 19150]

19 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Anything with craft in front of it sucks balls

i prefer an artisanal ball sucking 

[BearSchlong 8083]

House-made.

It's either "homemade" or "made from scratch" amirite?