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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

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lateshow

lateshow 1322

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Lat22 said:

It’s 95 degrees, you’ve just teed off on #6 and the beverage cart appears on the horizon.

And it’s a dude.

This is a good one. 

I also hate when I order Chinese food, and a white guy is the delivery driver. 

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BearMace

BearMace 2244

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Lat22 said:

It’s 95 degrees, you’ve just teed off on #6 and the beverage cart appears on the horizon.

And it’s a dude.

Or tee off on #1, cart chick rolls up, completely unneeded. Don't see her again until the turn, again, useless.  

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Born Burnt

Born Burnt 6274

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 5/15/2018 at 9:29 AM, Vic Mackey said:
On 5/15/2018 at 9:19 AM, MNLonghornFUKM said:
Driving along and having to stop to let golfers cross the road on a Tuesday at 230 pm

Getting stuck behind a group of cyclists.

Ever notice it's not the poor guy who's riding a beatup bike to go bus tables a Chili's who fucks up traffic. That guy usually books it along the sidewalk.

It's the vain cyclist in fruity spandex, usually accompanied by others, who proudly assets his right to take up full lanes…and then of course blows through red lights and stop signs.

Edited by Born Burnt
Those guys really suck.
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GottaB

GottaB 605

Posted
Posted
I'll add the people who are way too into shit like craft beer or dinner presentation for their wife on a Tuesday. 


Anyone that uses “undertones” or “notes” when describing a drink of any kind.
I don’t give a shit that your beer has undertones of hazelnut. I really don’t.
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Stoogey

Stoogey 219

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Posted
On 4/16/2018 at 5:44 PM, Vic Mackey said:

I don't get why they can't make the gas tanks on the same side for every vehicle.

 

On 4/16/2018 at 6:16 PM, Okie State said:

I would guess at least part of it is because not everyone drives on the same side of the road. Which then raises the question...why don't we all drive on the same side of the road?

Also, I'm assuming there are some design/engineering reasons behind some of the gas filler placements.

Not as much as you'd think. 

US Virgin Islands drives on left. Was only a British colony for a few years in the very early nineteenth century. Didn't become American until 1916. Steering wheel and gas tank filler are usually on the left because most vehicles are American with left side gas tank fillers. USVI formerly the Danish West Indies (Denmark drives on right).The neighboring island of Puerto Rico which became American in 1898 drives on the right.  

Germany drives on the right. Gas tank fillers are primarily on the right / passenger / "wrong" side to lessen the chance of being struck while fueling a car on a busy highway. Running out of gas in Germany must have been a big problem because the jerry can (German gas can - jerry is British WWI slang for Germans) preceded the implementation of the fuel gauge. The VW Routan has a left-sided filler. It's a rebadged Chrysler Town & Country.

Japan drives on the left. Gas filler located on right for convenience. However, from what I am finding, most Japanese left steering exports have left gas tank fillers. One notable exception: Nissan Fairlady Z AKA Nissan Z370. Right steering with right gas filler, left steering with right gas filler. 

Someone mentioned checking the dashboard instrument display for a gas pump icon with an arrow indicating which side the gas tank filler is located. I remember travelling for business in a co-worker's car with an "analog" dashboard instrument display. There was an old fashioned red impact label reading GAS TANK and a magic marker arrow. He explained that he and his wife didn't drive a specific car. Whoever was out of the house earliest took whichever car was first in the driveway. He wasn't taking any chances after she continued driving with the check engine light on and didn't tell him about it until the following day.the next day.  

tldr: There's no rhyme or reason to it.

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19453

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, AUinHsv said:

Athletes who give interviews and use "You know" a minimum of twenty times. What causes this - I don't remember hearing it until about 15 years ago.

It’s been around a lot longer than that.  I remember my dad getting surly about it when listening to sports interviews in the very early 80’s.

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HouTex

HouTex 1939

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Posted

People who are afraid of escalators.  They refuse to take the escalator one floor down to the tunnel level and have to get in the elevators that also go to the basement parking (where I'm going).  And the basement elevators are way slower than the escalator and they take you to the exact same place in the tunnel--about 20 feet away.  This doesn't apply to people with a physical disability.

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5 hours ago, GottaB said:

 


Anyone that uses “undertones” or “notes” when describing a drink of any kind.
I don’t give a shit that your beer has undertones of hazelnut. I really don’t.

 

If they say the hops presence is significant, or anything to that end, I appreciate it.  It tells me immediately that I will not like the beer and not to purchase it.

 

For those of us who drink stuff beyond the staple American lagers, which most definitely have their place; the descriptions of a complex beer can be hints of whether or not we might like to try them.

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Posted
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2 hours ago, AUinHsv said:

Athletes who give interviews and use "You know" a minimum of twenty times. What causes this - I don't remember hearing it until about 15 years ago.

Unless it is someone like Pop, Bellichick, or Leach; I generally turn the interviews off immediately.They are an absolute beating and are a verbal version of a ‘ pencil drill’ where guys are going through the motions.  You’re not getting a peak underthe tent...the player or coach is just fulfilling their press obligation so they can move the fuck on.

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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47951

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, HouTex said:

People who are afraid of escalators.  They refuse to take the escalator one floor down to the tunnel level and have to get in the elevators that also go to the basement parking (where I'm going).  And the basement elevators are way slower than the escalator and they take you to the exact same place in the tunnel--about 20 feet away.  This doesn't apply to people with a physical disability.

Speaking of escalators, do people realize you can walk up and down the moving stairs, right? I never just ride it all the way up/down. I keep it moving. 

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Celery Man

Celery Man 21094

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, FriendofaFriend said:

When people put "black tie optional" on a wedding invitation. First off, don't fucking tell me how to dress. Second, it's a wedding... what the hell do you expect people to show up wearing? 

a) obviously it varies widely depending on the types of people invited, but it's all bets off on wedding attire these days.  i don't know what the current etiquette is, but if you don't want people wearing jeans you probably need to say something

b) are you suggesting that obviously people are going to show up to a wedding in a tux, or that it's ludicrous to think that people would go to the hassle of dressing in black tie for a wedding?  actually, 3rd version is the one that makes the most sense to me - wtf do you actually want me to wear if you're describing it as black tie optional?  My entire life is black tie optional, will most people be wearing a tux?

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Atxracer

Atxracer 798

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Probably been addressed in 21 pages.  But, my #1 pet peeve...4 lane road.  Two cars in front of me approaching a light.  They end up side by side at a light (usually one moves over so both have the #1 spot). They then both take off slowly and drive side by side from there either at or under the speed limit.  It's truly amazing how often this happens on Bee Caves and 71.  I am agitated just typing this out.  

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Landomatic

Landomatic 3813

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Shaggy3.0 said:

When someone in the office continually neglects to wash his hands before leaving the shitter—-then touches your keyboard.

Next time you see his feet under the stall door, throw about a dozen soaking wet paper towels in.  Maybe he’ll get the hint.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
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5 hours ago, slorch said:

Unless it is someone like Pop, Bellichick, or Leach; I generally turn the interviews off immediately.They are an absolute beating and are a verbal version of a ‘ pencil drill’ where guys are going through the motions.  You’re not getting a peak under the tent...the player or coach is just fulfilling their press obligation so they can move the fuck on.

Something Freudian going on here, I'm just not sure what.

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19453

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Shaggy3.0 said:

When someone in the office continually neglects to wash his hands before leaving the shitter—-then touches your keyboard.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Why do you let other people touch your keyboard?  Do you stare into their eyes gazingly while they tickle the keys?  Does it make you feel good?

Edited by Fudge Nuggets
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ERhine

ERhine 1938

Posted
Posted
If it says black tie optional most people will be wearing a tux. Especially if the reception is at a nice club. If not a tux then a dark suit.


I was in a wedding for a surly poster a few years ago that was black tie. I’ll never forget standing at the front of the church and seeing a different poster (shall remain nameless) walk in wearing his seersucker.
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lateshow

lateshow 1322

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, ERhine said:

 


I was in a wedding for a surly poster a few years ago that was black tie. I’ll never forget standing at the front of the church and seeing a different poster (shall remain nameless) walk in wearing his seersucker.

 

Homesickhorn?

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Moby Ric

Moby Ric 2058

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, ERhine said:

 


I was in a wedding for a surly poster a few years ago that was black tie. I’ll never forget standing at the front of the church and seeing a different poster (shall remain nameless) walk in wearing his seersucker.

 

Matlock?

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ERhine

ERhine 1938

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Posted

None of the involved parties have been named.

I think it was July. I hated him for it because it was hot as hell and I don’t think there was air conditioning in the historic church we were in. We were all in tuxes and he’s comfortable in a seersucker.

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McCroskey

McCroskey 1510

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Posted

People that wait in line 3+ hours before whatever random store opens just so they can get a free meaningless item. Here in town an REI just opened and supposedly hundreds of people are lining at the doors before dawn for a free water bottle.

They should revoke voting and reproductive privileges in exchange.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Rimbo

Rimbo 27006

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Posted (edited)

The state of digital audio.

CD-quality audio (44100HZ 16-bit 2-channels) isn't nearly enough bits for the kind of music I listen to (Metal and symphonic classical); it needs 44,100HZ and 24-bit, but nobody sells it (not unless you want to pay the Meridian Tax or worse), and people who ought to know better will waste their breath trying to convince you that 44100/16 is plenty enough, that "you can't hear the difference." And I will fucking cut the first person who links Monty @ xiph.org at me, that ignorant motherfucker has misled so many people with his dumbassery... (Repeat after me, Monty you fuck: (1) quantization noise is a function of the input signal, (2) the need for dithering is a sign that you aren't using enough fucking bits for the signal. And also (3) human hearing is designed around picking signal out from the kind of noise that is in analog recordings, but is designed to detect quantization noise.)

What made since in the fucking 1980s when a 16-bit CPU was considered super high-end, 1MB of RAM was thousands upon thousands of dollars and digital cell phones streaming GB/s over the fucking air worldwide was science fucking fiction (seriously, the 3-year-old cell phone I just ditched was more powerful than the most powerful supercomputer in the world back then) doesn't make fucking sense now, particularly since one more goddamned byte per sample per channel is more than sufficient to solve the problem permanently and forever. Terabytes are cheap now.

tl;dr: Laurel is signal, Yanny is quantization noise, and yes you can fucking hear it.

Edited by Rimbo
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