Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[deadshank 24646]

HEB 15 items or less express line. Mullet already had 8 full bags in his cart.  Cashier Mutombo’d his 2 twelvers of Bud Ice at 8:30 Sunday morning.   
 

What jackass.  
 

[Js1 84939]

Did you ask for an invite to the cook out? 

[deadshank 24646]

3 hours ago, Js1 said:

Did you ask for an invite to the cook out? 

Shoot no.  It’s obvious he will have no Bud Ice. 

[Sandman 3401]

On 6/4/2021 at 5:50 AM, deadshank said:

Some of my employees. My wife

me:  I have asked you a “yes / no”question.  The only answer you can reply with is “yes” or “no.”   So which is it?

employee Wife:  Uhhh....blue!!

 

 

FIF me

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

The spork. It serves no purpose. It only comes in plastic and never comes with a plastic knife. No one ever said, “What I really need here is a spork!”

Just give me a plastic spoon if you’re only going to give me one plastic utensil to use to eat your side dish. 

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

43 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The spork. It serves no purpose. It only comes in plastic and never comes with a plastic knife. No one ever said, “What I really need here is a spork!”

Just give me a plastic spoon if you’re only going to give me one plastic utensil to use to eat your side dish. 

You don't eat at Popeye's enough. 

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

16 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

You don't eat at Popeye's enough. 

Actually, it was Popeyes that inspired that post. 

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The spork. It serves no purpose. It only comes in plastic and never comes with a plastic knife. No one ever said, “What I really need here is a spork!”

Just give me a plastic spoon if you’re only going to give me one plastic utensil to use to eat your side dish. 

A lot of ladies like spooning as a sign of connection.  

Your mom likes sporking.  It's like spooning with a somethin'-somethin' poking them at the end.  

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

14 minutes ago, Lobo said:

A lot of ladies like spooning as a sign of connection.  

Your mom likes sporking.  It's like spooning with a somethin'-somethin' poking them at the end.  

You couldn’t ramble on with more meaningless nonsense than that? You’re off your game. 

[Guest Lobo]

I have to admit, my plastic cutlery based standup set isn't what it used to be since Wendy's changed up the frosty spoon.  I had a bit on those spoon-straw deals for slurpees but I got banned.  

[DonkeyCigars 144]

3 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The spork. It serves no purpose. It only comes in plastic and never comes with a plastic knife. No one ever said, “What I really need here is a spork!”

Just give me a plastic spoon if you’re only going to give me one plastic utensil to use to eat your side dish. 

I actually have sporks in my silverware that are metal. They are awesome. Got them at Macy's years ago and can never find them again.

Edited June 7, 2021 by DonkeyCigars

[956 Worldwide 34222]

On 6/4/2021 at 12:50 PM, deadshank said:

Some of my employees.

me:  I have asked you a “yes / no”question.  The only answer you can reply with is “yes” or “no.”   So which is it?

employee:  Uhhh....blue!!

 

 

Rage, rage, rage. I asked you if something is finished. Not how much of it you did and all the reasons it’s not your fault it’s not done. 

[deadshank 24646]

10 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The spork. It serves no purpose. It only comes in plastic and never comes with a plastic knife. No one ever said, “What I really need here is a spork!”

Just give me a plastic spoon if you’re only going to give me one plastic utensil to use to eat your side dish. 

Can you effectively eat Skyline chili with just a spoon?   Will a spork enhance the dining experience?

[closetohumping 17339]

Since I am up.  Dumbasses that schedule 6 am meetings

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

19 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Can you effectively eat Skyline chili with just a spoon?   Will a spork enhance the dining experience?

No sporks at Skyline. You use a fork. And you don’t twist it like spaghetti. You cut it with the edge of your fork like you would with a slice of pie. The cheese holds everything together. What’s weird is that the first time I had it I thought the sauce was way too watery but by the time I was done the plate was dry. That also helps when you’re eating coneys because it softens up the bun. What’s frustrating is that you can buy the sauce in a can but you can’t get the little hot dogs and buns. Somehow a regular hot dog and bun doesn’t quite work the same. And one can of sauce is too much for a single serving over pasta with onions and cheese. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. 

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

A couple other Skyline thoughts. There’s a difference between eating it In the restaurant and getting takeout. Getting coneys takeout has the advantage of giving the cheese time to melt by the time you get home. But if you order it with pasta, a “way,” in the store it comes with the cheese on top. If you get it to go then they give you the diced onions in a solo cup and the shredded cheese in a separate baggie. So you can add your hot sauce before you add your cheese. If you’re eating it in the store then you’re putting your hot sauce on top of the cheese. I’m fine with doing that on a coney when the cheese is already mostly melted but I think it works better on a 4-way or 5-way (yes, I have no problem getting it with beans) if I can add the hot sauce before adding the cheese. And I’ll take some flawed oyster crackers that have cracks or broken surfaces and stick them down around the edges of the bowl so they can soak up some of the juice and get soft. Mmmmmm...so good. 

Edited June 7, 2021 by WhatTheBuck

[nnm 35847]

9 hours ago, DonkeyCigars said:

I actually have sporks in my silverware that are metal. They are awesome. Got them at Macy's years ago and can never find them again.

There is this amazing place called the internet where one can purchase just about anything one wants. 
https://www.amazon.com/CraftKitchen-Stock-Stainless-Classic-Flatware/dp/B081BC64F7/ref=asc_df_B081BC64F7/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=396925232329&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11904466906415439299&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027107&hvtargid=pla-847329419440&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=87663344630&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=396925232329&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11904466906415439299&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027107&hvtargid=pla-847329419440

[elfenix 34157]

Getting on plane back to Houston. As sky waitress is explaining that there's no more overhead space in the back so don't put small shit the overheads, the dumb fuck in front of me puts his kids' 3 backpacks in the overhead, then the asshole behind me shoves 2 boxes of medjool dates in the bins because you can't get medjool dates in Houston all of a sudden.

It should be socially acceptable to throw those people's shit on the floor.

[Underdog 28372]

Should have got her involved... 

[Superhero 8695]

2 hours ago, elfenix said:

Getting on plane back to Houston. As sky waitress is explaining that there's no more overhead space in the back so don't put small shit the overheads, the dumb fuck in front of me puts his kids' 3 backpacks in the overhead, then the asshole behind me shoves 2 boxes of medjool dates in the bins because you can't get medjool dates in Houston all of a sudden.

It should be socially acceptable to throw those people's shit on the floor.
 

Flying back from SF, some guy put his jacket and hat up in the overhead bin. I loudly ask to no one in particular “WHO PUT THEIR JACKET AND HAT UP HERE?”, before unceremoniously shoving it into the back corner and crushing it with my suitcase. Turns out it was the guy in my row across the aisle from me. He glared at me, I glared back. Because fuck him that’s why. 

[SHOOTER12 8775]

18 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Flying back from SF, some guy put his jacket and hat up in the overhead bin. I loudly ask to no one in particular “WHO PUT THEIR JACKET AND HAT UP HERE?”, before unceremoniously shoving it into the back corner and crushing it with my suitcase. Turns out it was the guy in my row across the aisle from me. He glared at me, I glared back. Because fuck him that’s why. 

Like a fucking boss bro

[nnm 35847]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

Flying back from SF, some guy put his jacket and hat up in the overhead bin. I loudly ask to no one in particular “WHO PUT THEIR JACKET AND HAT UP HERE?”, before unceremoniously shoving it into the back corner and crushing it with my suitcase. Turns out it was the guy in my row across the aisle from me. He glared at me, I glared back. Because fuck him that’s why. 

In what decade are you flying that gentlemen are placing their hats in the overhead bin?  The only hats guys wear these days are ball caps, ski caps, and cowboy hats. A cowboy wouldn’t trust his Stetson to an airplane overhead bin, guys don’t take their ball caps off on a plane, and who cares about crushing a ski cap?

So you must have had some Don Draper wannabe I guess? Or a hipster with a fedora?  Crush away. 

[closetohumping 17339]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

Flying back from SF, some guy put his jacket and hat up in the overhead bin. I loudly ask to no one in particular “WHO PUT THEIR JACKET AND HAT UP HERE?”, before unceremoniously shoving it into the back corner and crushing it with my suitcase. Turns out it was the guy in my row across the aisle from me. He glared at me, I glared back. Because fuck him that’s why. 

If you're going to put your jacket up there, be prepared for my nasty suitcase, mud side down

[Superhero 8695]

21 minutes ago, nnm said:

In what decade are you flying that gentlemen are placing their hats in the overhead bin?  The only hats guys wear these days are ball caps, ski caps, and cowboy hats. A cowboy wouldn’t trust his Stetson to an airplane overhead bin, guys don’t take their ball caps off on a plane, and who cares about crushing a ski cap?

So you must have had some Don Draper wannabe I guess? Or a hipster with a fedora?  Crush away. 

It was an older gentleman in his 50s with a fedora. Come to think of it, he could possibly pass for Sean Connery in Indiana Jones, just a lot uglier. 

[Sam Lin 3539]

[surly1percent] Doesn't the stewardess come and take your jacket when you get to your seat? [\surly1percent]

[RollLeft 5039]

15 hours ago, Superhero said:

Flying back from SF, some guy put his jacket and hat up in the overhead bin. I loudly ask to no one in particular “WHO PUT THEIR JACKET AND HAT UP HERE?”, before unceremoniously shoving it into the back corner and crushing it with my suitcase. Turns out it was the guy in my row across the aisle from me. He glared at me, I glared back. Because fuck him that’s why. 

Thanksgiving will be interesting.  Dad won't forget.

[Hmbre97 6297]

People who call their wife "bride".

"My bride wanted xxxxx" or "Took my bride to the movies", etc...

Just typing those makes my blood boil a little.

[Trey3216 15321]

On 6/7/2021 at 7:26 AM, closetohumping said:

Since I am up.  Dumbasses that schedule 6 am meetings

What about dumbasses that agree to them??  

[BonzoMontreaux 1033]

Watching the NCAA baseball tournament, a couple of things come to mind.

• People booing on throws to first base.  ESPECIALLY, on the FIRST throw to first base... With a runner on...
• People losing their shit on a routine fly ball.  Watch the fielders, people.  I can understand a pressure situation and getting excited when contact is made but dang.

Edited June 8, 2021 by BonzoMontreaux

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1668]

1 hour ago, BonzoMontreaux said:

Watching the NCAA baseball tournament, a couple of things come to mind.

• People booing on throws to first base.  ESPECIALLY, on the FIRST throw to first base... With a runner on...

It’s happened in most all MLB games, too, for as long as I can remember. My personal favorite is the home crowd boos out of their minds when the pitcher throws over to first for the 5th time, only to erupt into applause when the runner steals 2nd on the next pitch. 

[Vic Mackey 46808]

People who call their wife "bride".

"My bride wanted xxxxx" or "Took my bride to the movies", etc...

Just typing those makes my blood boil a little.

Wifey is also terrible.

[elfenix 34157]

Just now, Vic Mackey said:

On 6/8/2021 at 7:57 AM, Hmbre97 said:

People who call their wife "bride".

"My bride wanted xxxxx" or "Took my bride to the movies", etc...

Just typing those makes my blood boil a little.

Wifey is also terrible.

wifey's world disagrees

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

I prefer Ex

[elfenix 34157]

building has decided that the garage doors need to be down at all time* so now want us to install an app to get access to the back (much more convenient) garage door.  how much data is this thing stealing from me and selling to third parties?

 

 

*it's just a small arm that would prevent a vehicle from coming in, so it's not going to solve the car thefts that happened last month.  pretty useless. 

[HRSchenker 2248]

On 6/4/2021 at 5:50 AM, deadshank said:

Some of my employees.

me:  I have asked you a “yes / no”question.  The only answer you can reply with is “yes” or “no.”   So which is it?

employee:  Uhhh....blue!!

 

 

Good to know it's like this outside of health care. One of the worst things you could ever tell a patient asking a yes/no question is either "yes" or "no". Not only does it confuse them but it also makes them irrationally angry 

[deadshank 24646]

17 hours ago, elfenix said:

building has decided that the garage doors need to be down at all time* so now want us to install an app to get access to the back (much more convenient) garage door.  how much data is this thing stealing from me and selling to third parties?

 

 

*it's just a small arm that would prevent a vehicle from coming in, so it's not going to solve the car thefts that happened last month.  pretty useless. 

Dear property owner: Please log on to our portal and complete the questionnaire with your personal information. After creating a unique user name and password, please upload scanned copies of your valid TX drivers license,  five most recent W-2s, car insurance documents, US passport, background check, emergency contact with home phone number, cell phone number and fax number, list of your 8 closest relatives and their home phone number, cell phone number and fax number.....

[Shoxthemonkey 1973]

Would anybody be interested in buying a dozen steel stamps that make a backwards "G"? I don't have a use for them.

 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

That's not a stamp to make G's. It's a stamp to make stamps to make G's. 

[ABSR 5284]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

That's not a stamp to make G's. It's a stamp to make stamps to make G's. 

G.  I never thought of that.

[Underdog 28372]

Had to order a bracket to fix a part on my basketball goal, just one small bracket.  It came like this... 

We had another delivery a few weeks ago that was a small part and came in a way too big of a box needed for it. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Standard boxes are cheap. Having custom sizes for boxes is expensive.

[Shoxthemonkey 1973]

Around here we get 4-5 boxes shipped in per day and we may ship 2-3 per day. We don't have the time or the want-to for hunting down the perfect box. You get what you get from the few choices laying about.

[Guest Lobo]

19 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Standard boxes are cheap. Having custom sizes for boxes is expensive.

That's just what your mother said last night.  By the way, keep the change. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 hour ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Around here we get 4-5 boxes shipped in per day and we may ship 2-3 per day. We don't have the time or the want-to for hunting down the perfect box. You get what you get from the few choices laying about.

This guy boxes!

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

54 minutes ago, Lobo said:

That's just what your mother said last night.  By the way, keep the change. 

Oh yeah! Well I had sex with your wife last night!

[Judge Roybeanbag 11771]

On 6/7/2021 at 1:18 PM, elfenix said:

Getting on plane back to Houston. As sky waitress is explaining that there's no more overhead space in the back so don't put small shit the overheads, the dumb fuck in front of me puts his kids' 3 backpacks in the overhead, then the asshole behind me shoves 2 boxes of medjool dates in the bins because you can't get medjool dates in Houston all of a sudden.

It should be socially acceptable to throw those people's shit on the floor.
 

I was on a flight a couple years ago when a guy put his big parka in the overhead like that and another guy did pull it out and throw it on the floor, with no fucks given.  I laughed.

[Underdog 28372]

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Standard boxes are cheap. Having custom sizes for boxes is expensive.

 

3 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Around here we get 4-5 boxes shipped in per day and we may ship 2-3 per day. We don't have the time or the want-to for hunting down the perfect box. You get what you get from the few choices laying about.

 From a business like Spalding?  Nah.  Ship it in a correct sized box.  I can see smaller companies following what you fellas are saying.  The bubbled envelopes can't be that expensive compared to boxes.  

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

10 minutes ago, Underdog said:

From a business like Spalding?  Nah.  Ship it in a correct sized box.

Even more impactful for a larger company. Look to see what Amazon does. You don't get a "correct" size box from Amazon. Ever.

You don't want a guy who is packaging running around your warehouse looking for "the right" box. 

[Js1 84939]

I have a floor lamp with 3 smart lightbulbs.

Every day around noon, without fail, one of the bulbs turns on for no reason.  And it's always a different bulb.  There are no timers set for any of the lights. 

[closetohumping 17339]

26 minutes ago, Js1 said:

I have a floor lamp with 3 smart lightbulbs.

Every day around noon, without fail, one of the bulbs turns on for no reason.  And it's always a different bulb.  There are no timers set for any of the lights. 

Sometimes the best answer is the simplest.  Your house is haunted